Surge (67 page)

Knowing that she’s well beyond her limit for the day, I scoot back a little to give her some space. I can finish the rest on my own, there’s only one reason for having her chained in such a position
,
and it makes me want to vomit. Eventually, I’ll ask her to talk about it, but I know that I’ll have to up my own tolerance level so I can stay for the duration without upchucking. Just because I may suffer a little bit of queasiness doesn’t mean that Olivia has to keep this shit to herself. It wouldn’t have been healthy for a person to keep that inside before the end, and it sure as hell isn’t healthy now either.

Once her rocking slows down a little, I offer my hand out to her. The gesture is probably the simplest in the world, but to Olivia
,
it’s like a life preserver being thrown to her. After dealing with people taking from you for months to finally be offered something in return, without strings attached to it, has to be a relief. Within seconds of my offer, her tiny fingers latch onto mine in a desperate grip.

Remembering that she doesn’t mind my touch as much, but knowing that she’s terrified due to unleashing some of her nightmares, I slide forward slightly and hold my arms out. It’s a take it or leave it gesture that lets her decide if she wants the physical comfort or not
,
without it being forced upon her. I hold my breath hoping that she separates the distance, because what I really want to do is bundle her up in the comfy comforter and protect her from the world.

A little hesitantly, I see Olivia unwrap her other arm from her knees. Looking up to meet my eyes, she holds the gaze for a few seconds before moving. It’s a slowly drawn out affair, with her crawling over like a newborn babe, but she finally comes within arm’s length and goes up on her knees. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pulls me closer to her and buries her face in my neck. When I keep my arms down at my sides, she takes them one at a time and places them around her waist. With her permission granted, I tighten the embrace and offer all the comfort I can give.

When I feel her body starts shaking with sobs, I pull her onto my lap and cradle her like a child. She keeps her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her face moves to bury itself in the chest of my coat. Removing one hand from her waist, I use it to trail down the back of her head. I keep my touch light to prevent my bandaged hands from revolting against the motion, while still giving her the soothing she needs.

I’ve never been a cuddler before Olivia
,
and now, I couldn’t think of why I wouldn’t want to have done so in the first place. Sure, with sex you’re as close to the person as you can possibly be, but once you’ve spent, you separate again. It’s pretty much a race to pleasure, and as soon as you get to the climax at the finish line, the intimacy vanishes. But with cuddling, there is no finish line you’re striving towards. You take your time and relish the warmth of the other body pressed against you. Take in their scent and get to know how they feel without sexual intent at the forefront of your mind. You use your upper head, as opposed to your lower.

Like now, I don’t even need to flip off an erection because he’s gone into hibernation after hearing about Olivia’s captivity, and subsequent breakdown. I know that there’s a female body clinging to me, but I’m not ripping off her clothes to hump my way to a mindless release as I’ve done numerous times in the past. And I don’t want to. Nor do I care in the slightest that I sound like I’ve spontaneously grown a vagina, even if it’s just in my own mind. That’s because Olivia deserves so much more than a meaningless fuck. She deserves to be made love to, and until she’s absolutely ready and completely willing to try, I won’t even attempt it.

When the day comes that Olivia finally feels comfortable enough for that kind of intimacy, I’ll make sure that her pleasure comes first and foremost to remind her that sex isn’t purely to cause pain, humiliation or for domination. That it can be more than rutting like animals. That it can be romantic and beautiful, a way to express how you feel in a physical way. From what I know of Travis, I’m positive that he was a man that gave her all of that. And when she’s ready to try, I’ll just have to convince her traumatized mind that it can and will be like that again.

<~~~<~~~
~~~>~~~
>

The sun’s strong rays breach my eyelids the next morning. Pissed at the asshole for trying to wake me, I go to tug the comforter over my face, only to find that it doesn’t move. Wanting to growl, since something is hindering my progress, I tear my eyes open and glare at the ceiling. My ceiling isn’t vaulted. Where the fuck am I?

Raising a hand to my forehead, I wince when the bandage scratches against my burns. That brings me back a little. Feeling something warm draped across my chest, I look down and find a mass of black hair and a leather-covered arm wrapped firmly around my waist. I smile at that; my little badass is an instinctive snuggler.

I remember Olivia crying herself out on my chest. Not wanting to wake her from a sound sleep, I figured I’d let her rest and laid back. Fully expecting one of her nightmares to wake her up at some point in the night, I planned on removing myself from the bed and sleeping out the rest of the night in a chair nearby. So
,
you can see why I’m pleasantly surprised to not only find that she slept through without any disruption to her sleep, but to also wake up still wrapped up in my Olivia cocoon.

Tightening my grip a fraction, I lean down to bury my nose in her hair. No
,
it isn’t creepy, I just like the way she smells. Or would have smelt, if her apple/mint scent wasn’t masked by smoke. Pissed once again, since I’m now reminded of her close call and losing out on the chance to inhale a breath of Olivia first thing in the morning, I compromise to just enjoying the closeness for a few more seconds. Closing my eyes against the glare of light, I lay my head back and immediately feel Olivia stir.

Cursing myself for moving at all, I crack one eye open in time to see her head raise and look around. Turning her neck slightly, I can see that it causes her pain, but she ignores it and buries her face back into my chest. Confused and thinking that she wasn’t really awake, but just adjusting, I brush her wild hair out of the way to get a better look. Feeling the sensation, she places her chin on my chest and peeks out at me through her fingers. Seeing a slight red tint on her skin, I know that she’s not sleeping, but hiding.

“Don’t be getting shy on me now,” I say as a smile. “Where’s my pissed off Tinkerbell?” Olivia’s face heats this time with anger, and she glares at me. She’s fucking gorgeous when she’s fuming, so my smile spreads even wider. “There she is, she’s been gone for days, and I was starting to get worried.”

That earns me a pinch to the chest. A rather weak one considering it’s only a slight sting compared with what she could of done with her red nails if she meant to hurt me. She keeps them well-manicured, but long; with the exception of a few cracks here and there from fighting. I’ve seen them three different colors in our time together, red, dark red, and really dark red; so I’m gonna go out on the limb here and say that red’s her favorite color. Propping herself up on hand, Olivia points to my bandage.

“They’re fine,” I answer and she tilts her head slightly as if trying to see if I’m lying. Satisfied that I’m not keeling over, or holding out due to masculine pride, she nods. “And you?”

She waves a hand at me, so I give her a pointed look. Rolling her eyes
, s
he holds out her thumb and forefinger to indicate that it hurts a little, as she points at her throat. I did want to know about that, but also her mental state, so I press on.

“Any nightmares?”

Olivia looks startled, it’s as if she just remembered them; along with realizing exactly where she’s laying, and immediately crawls off of me. I want to groan, but I don’t. Time, she needs time that I can, and will give for as long as she needs it. Once she’s sitting back on her heels, Olivia’s hair drapes across her face in a curtain. Knowing that she’s once again hiding, but wanting the answer to my question, I sit up and slowly brush the front portion back and tuck it behind her ear. Her grey eyes look up from their downward aimed angle to meet mine.

“Yes?” I ask softly. Olivia gives a slight head shake and her eyes fill with tears. I frown and sit forward all the way. “Why are you crying? That’s a good thing.” Olivia shakes her head again. “How isn’t it?” Lifting her still naked hand, she points at her head, makes a poofing motion, and follows it with a slash. “You don’t want to forget?” Nodding her head in answer, my confusion grows. “Why wouldn’t you want to forget?”

Olivia’s face hardens as she points to her uncovered wrists and neck, then holds up her ringed finger. Now I get it. “You want to remember what you’re avenging.” She gives me a curt nod. I reach out and cover her left hand with mine. “You’ll never forget anything that happened, it’s all in here.” I place a finger from my free hand on her forehead. “But what will happen is that you set it in the back of your mind where it can’t hurt you. You control it, so it doesn’t control you.”

Olivia’s face clears of the hardness, and she gives me a slight smile. Lifting her right hand, she points at me and then taps her head. “I’m smart?” Her smile spreads as she nods. “Well, that’s a first.” Olivia’s whole body shakes with a silent laugh. “Now you’re just being mean.”

Olivia’s laughter picks up and she lays back as she clutches her stomach. Laying down beside her on my stomach, I prop myself up on my elbow and observe Olivia. Her eyes are squeezed tight as a tear trickles down her check toward her temple, but I know it’s not from pain, since she’s still holding her stomach and smiling. A few more seconds tick by before she recover
s
and opens her eyes.

“Are you quite done?” I ask in a bland tone. Olivia’s head turns to meet mine as she nods. “Good, because I was starting to get my feelings hurt.” She gives me a doubtful look, so I pull out a mock pout. “You did. I was just about to start crying real tears and everything.” Olivia makes a chomping signal with her hand and then outlines a wave from the corner of her eye.

“Crocodile tears? I haven’t
ever
used those.” She gives me a shove. “Fine, once or twice when I was a toddler, and wanted another cookie.” Olivia shrugs and places a finger on my mouth. “What about my mouth?” She nods. “I didn’t learn how to use it yet, so tears were the better option.”

Olivia pulls my bottom lip down slightly and smiles a little. I’m not sure why she’s making me pout, but if it makes her happy, what the hell do I care? Looking up to meet my eyes, she blinks and shakes her head. Removing her hand from my face, she sits up and scoots away. Edging her way to the end of the bed, Olivia hops down and stretches. The bed is so high that I can only see about six inches down from her shoulder, and up to her head. Turning to glance over at me, she gives me a shooing motion.

“Excuse me, your highness,” I say and stand as I bow. “I didn’t know that I was taking up so much of your time.” Olivia must think I’m serious, because her hands start flying around so wildly that I can’t keep up. Laughing, I hold up my hands to cease the movement. “I’m only kidding, jeash. Do whatever it is you need to, but I want you back in bed and resting before I come to check on you in,” I look at my watch, “Forty minutes.” Olivia scowls and crosses her arms. “No, you need rest. Doctor’s orders.”

Performing her best huff due to the limited ability, she waves a hand at me and points to the door. “I’m going, I’m going,” I reply and head toward the door, but stop before exiting to point at her. “But I want my hug when I come back.”

I close the door behind me and smile when something is thrown at it.

<~~~<~~~
~~~>~~~><~~~<~~~
~~~>~~~>