Surrender (11 page)

Ava

Placing my hand on Jeremy’s shoulder I look at Brody to see his face is in utter shock.

“I’m going to go get a coffee and give you all some privacy.”

Walking out of the room I look over my shoulder to see Brody watching me leave. My heart is aching as I walk away from him knowing that he doesn’t remember me. However, I know he needs to hear this without me there. I’m a stranger to him; he won’t open up while I’m there. It’s so bittersweet, I am just so happy that he is alive and well but it hurts so much to think he doesn’t know who I am or remember anything about our time together. I order a coffee and ponder how on earth we are going to get through this.

Drinking the last of my coffee I sit there, so many thoughts racing around in my head. For some silly reason I can’t bring myself to stand up and walk back to his room. I guess I’m scared of his reaction to me. In a way I’m kind of scared of rejection as well. What does this mean for us? What if he never remembers who I am or what I mean to him? Feeling a hand touch my back I look up to see Jeremy with a glum expression.

“What’s wrong?”

He moves to the seat across from me.

“I’m so sorry, Ava. He doesn’t remember you at all. He thought I was joking. He thought you were my girlfriend. I hate this so much Ava I see how much this is hurting you.”

He runs his hand though his hair and looks down to my hand.

“I’m so sorry.”

Reaching out across the table I grasp his hand.

“It’s okay.”

“I told him a few details of the tour and the time he spent with you, trying to jog his memory. He just doesn’t remember any of it.”

“Jeremy, it’s fine, we’ll get through it.” I smile sadly, trying to remain optimistic. “If it’s meant to be it will be.”

Brody

I stare out of my hospital room window as I try to get my head around this whole thing.

How the hell could I forget something as important as falling in love? I have always been the type to avoid relationships because they get complicated and someone always ends up hurt, so I am totally shocked that I have apparently fallen in love with this girl.

Jeremy told me a few details about the tour and the times that I spent with her, but I can’t recall any single memory of her or our time together. He told me her name is Ava. I say her name quietly to see if saying her name or the sound of it feels familiar, but there’s nothing. She doesn’t even look familiar.

I can’t even remember flying all the way to Australia to see her. I just can’t believe that I did that. Jeremy told me that she had come on tour with us and we spent a lot of time together. He said we developed a friendship first and then by the end of the tour, we were in love.

This is such a fucked up situation. I know it’s no fault of mine, but I feel terrible that she is suffering because of a stupid accident that never should have happened. Jeremy told me where I had been before the accident happened and I was so pissed off. I don’t know why I would have bothered giving that woman who calls herself my Mother the time of day.

Movement in the doorway grabs my attention and I turn to see Jeremy strolling into the room.

“Where are Luke and Hunter?”

“They had to go. Hunter said something about going to meet up with someone called T.”

Jeremy grins. “Tori, our stylist. They also got together while we were on tour.”

I shake my head. “Wow, I feel like I wasn’t even there. How was it?”

“What? The tour?”

I nod my head.

“It was fucking awesome. It felt so good being up on the stage playing to all of those people.”

He must see the flash of envy in my eyes.

“Hey, don’t worry man. It’ll all come back to you. The Doc said to talk to you about the stuff that has happened and eventually you will remember it.”

It’s only then I realize that Ava didn’t return with him.

“Where’s Ava?”

Jeremy looks down at the floor.

“She just wanted to give you some space and let you come to terms with it all. I think you both need to spend as much time together as possible so you have more chance of remembering it all, but she doesn’t want to put any pressure on you or make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Did she go home?”

Jeremy shakes his head.

“Nah, she still won’t leave the hospital. She’s down in the cafeteria.”

Fuck!

“She doesn’t have to do that. I do feel awkward about it, but only because I feel bad that I can’t remember anything about her.”

“She knows that it’s not your fault, Brody. She is just so happy that you are alive and well. But she is upset for you that you remember nothing about one of the most important times of your life, the tour. She really is a great girl Brody. You’re really lucky to have her in your life. And she loves you so much. So much more than she ever could have loved me.”

His words confuse me.

“What do you mean?”

Jeremy smiles.

“Before you two fell in love, we kind of had a thing.”

“What? Did you know her before the tour?”

Jeremy shakes his head.

“I met her the same day you did. We spent a bit of time together while we were touring, but it wasn’t meant to be. You and Ava were always going to end up together; I just didn’t realize that until recently.”

I wonder what he’s talking about, but I’m too tired to ask. I lie back on my pillow and close my eyes.

“Thanks for being here for me, Jeremy. You’re a great friend and I don’t tell you that enough.”

I feel Jeremy’s hand rest on my arm as I slip into a deep sleep.

When I open my eyes again, I can feel her presence in the room before I even see her. Turning my head slightly, I see her curled up in the arm chair beside the bed, sound asleep. Her feet are tucked up under her and her head is resting on the side of the chair. Her long, dark hair is spilling over the side, and her long dark eyelashes rest on high pink cheeks. She is definitely the type of girl I could see myself falling for, with her natural beauty. She looks almost exotic, with her olive complexion and dark hair. Her lips are curled up at the corners, almost like she’s smiling and I find myself smiling as I watch her. I feel a little creepy watching her sleep, but it’s the first chance I’ve really had to study her face. She is beautiful. I reach out my hand and run it through the ends of her soft hair. Why the hell can’t I remember her? She looks too beautiful to forget. Her eyelashes flutter on her cheeks and her lips twitch. I draw my hand back and continue to watch her as she slowly wakes. When her eyes open, she looks around the room a little before her pretty eyes settle on mine. This close to her I can see specks of gold in her warm amber eyes and I instantly wonder if that was what I was drawn to in the beginning. Her eyes are gorgeous.

She sits up straighter in the chair when she realizes I’m watching her.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I just came to check on you, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She starts to rise from her chair but I hold my hand out to stop her.

“Wait. Don’t leave.”

She smiles almost shyly and sits back down.

“Okay, um…how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, kind of tired.”

“Can I get you anything? Food? Drink?”

I give her a friendly grin. “No thanks. I’m fine. So…um…Jeremy was telling me you came on tour with us. Did you enjoy it?”

The grin on her face answers my question, but the words that follow warm my heart.

“It was so great. You guys were fantastic, I really enjoyed every minute.” Her eyes mist over and then she looks down at her lap.

“Ava. I’m sorry.”

Her eyes meet mine and I feel the pain behind them.

“What are you sorry for, Brody?”

“I’m sorry for all of this. I’m sorry that I can’t remember you or anything we shared. I’m sorry for your pain.”

She leans forward and her hand grasps mine.

“Brody, none of this is your fault. You’re alive. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

I glance down at our joined hands and I run my thumb over her soft skin, her small sigh the only sound as I stare into her warm amber eyes.

“Thank you for being here for me. Jeremy told me that you’ve hardly left the hospital while I’ve been here. I really appreciate it.”

She smiles again and gently removes her hand from mine before rising to her feet.

“Well, if you’re okay and don’t need anything, I think I might head home for a shower and a rest. I’ll come back tomorrow though…if that’s okay with you?”

I nod my head. “I’d like that.”

She grabs her handbag from the floor and heads toward the door. As she reaches it, she turns back and gives me a sweet smile.

As the door closes behind her I look down at my hand and I can still feel the goose bumps that broke out all over my skin as soon as her hand touched mine. As I lie back on the bed and stare at the window, I can see the image of her warm, friendly eyes in my mind and I find myself missing her presence already.

Jeremy

“Jeremy! There are still too many. We need to cut it down even more.”

As my eyes skim over the guest list I prepared for the party, I look for the names that are insignificant, but all of the people listed need to remain on there.

“Jo, you need to remember this party is for three people. I know it’s a birthday party for Ava and Luke, but it’s also going to be a celebration of Brody’s recovery.”

“We’re going to need a bigger venue then. The Red Tavern won’t hold more than one hundred people.”

We decided on the bar close to Brody’s house as it won’t be too far for him to travel, but the downside is, it’s a lot smaller than other bars around this area.

“Jo, it will be fine. We will invite one hundred people, but not everyone is going to turn up. We may only end up with half.”

She frowns at me and crosses her arms across her chest.

“Or, the hundred people we invite could turn up…with extras. I just want this party to be the best, Jeremy. After everything you guys have been through, I just want everyone to have a night where they can forget about it all and just…have fun.”

Jo rises from the couch and heads to the kitchen. It feels strange being in Brody’s place without him, but hopefully in a few days he will be able to come home and everything will go back to normal…well…kind of.

Jo returns to the couch with two bottles of beer and hands one to me. I watch her as she sips on her beer, places it on the coffee table and peruses the guest list…again. Her blond hair is sleek and straight and tucked behind her ears. Her dark brows are furrowed as she frowns at the list and her plump, pink lips are turned down at the corners.

“Jo, stop stressing. It will all work out fine.”

She turns to me and smiles sadly.

“I just want this party to be great, you know? I want Ava and Brody to enjoy themselves. They really deserve it after the last couple of weeks. I feel so terrible for both of them.”

Her eyes glisten with unshed tears and I reach out, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to me. She rests her head on my chest and the fruity scent of her shampoo reaches my nostrils as I lean my chin on top of her head.

“I know you do, Babe. I’m sure they will appreciate all of the hard work you’re putting into this party.”

She wraps her arms around my waist, her hands resting just above the waistband of my jeans. A warm feeling begins to spread through me and I pull her closer to me. Her fingers start rubbing circles on my lower back and I close my eyes at the sensation of having her touch me. It’s the same thing I felt when we danced at the nightclub all those weeks ago and when I kissed her outside Brody’s place after the disastrous dinner party. It feels…nice.

I accidentally let out a soft moan and my eyes snap open as I feel her body tense. She quickly drops her hands to her lap and looks up into my eyes. Hers are no longer filled with tears and sadness, now they hold a fire in them that is intense, to say the least. She suddenly shakes her head and scoots back on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Jeremy. I…I just needed a hug.”

“That’s okay. Uh…where were we?” I pick up the list and pretend to read it again as a bunch of wild images swirl around in my head. Jo in her underwear…Jo in my bed…Jo on her knees…Shit! I quickly stand up and grab my keys and phone off the coffee table, before heading to the front door and mumbling something about having to be somewhere.

I get into my car and sit for a minute trying to work out what I’m feeling. I’ve always found Jo attractive, but after the incident at the nightclub, I’ve often wondered if there is more to it. Since she moved back to L.A we’ve spent a lot of time together and it’s been nice to get to know her all over again. Fuck! What am I doing? You don’t picture your friends half naked or sucking your dick. I think it would be a huge mistake to let it get that far.

I start my car up and head in the direction of the hospital, maybe a visit with Brody will get my mind off Jo.

***

“Hey, earth to Jeremy! What’s wrong, man? You seem a bit quiet today.”

I look at Brody and shake my head, realizing that I have just been sitting here staring out the window but not seeing anything other than an image of Jo’s pretty face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…just a little confused is all.”

“What about?”

I fill Brody in on what happened between Jo and me at the nightclub when we were on tour and all about her confession of being in love with me.

He smiles mischievously at me and I realize he doesn’t remember telling me that he knew about her feelings all those years ago.

I smile back at him.

“I know that you knew about it. You already admitted to keeping it a secret for her.”

“Oh.”

“But the problem is every time I’m around her now; all I can think of is how good it would be to…you know…”

Brody throws his head back and laughs, it is nice to see him in such good spirits, but I wish it wasn’t at my expense.

“What’s so funny?”

His laughter settles into a low chuckle and he grins knowingly at me.

“I don’t see a problem. She likes you; you like her, go for it.”

Shaking my head, I frown slightly.

“It’s not that simple. How would our friendship survive if I gave in to my dirty thoughts? It wouldn’t. Fuck! I used to think of her as my little sister, it just doesn’t seem right.”

Brody shakes his head and grins again.

“Trust me, man. She never thought of you as her brother. That girl has been in love with you since you met. I’m glad she finally told you. She’s held it in for a long time.”

“I kind of wish she hadn’t told me. I wouldn’t be picturing her naked and sucking my dick if she hadn’t told me she was hot for me.”

Brody laughs again, but this time winces in pain and holds a hand up to his ribs.

“You okay, man?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I really think you should go for it, Jeremy. You two would be good together.”

Changing the subject I ask him if he’s seen Ava recently.

“Yeah, she was here yesterday afternoon. After you left I had a sleep and when I woke up she was asleep on the chair beside the bed. She seems like a really nice girl. I can see why I was drawn to her.”

I smile as I think back to how strongly he obviously felt for her over the last few months.

“Brody, you were more than drawn to her man. You were totally fucking head over heels in love with this girl. You started hiding things from me so that you could spend time with her. You’ve never lied to me before, so for her to drive you to that, you must have been fucking crazy about her.”

He sighs.

“I just wish I could remember it. I hate that she is hurting because of me. I honestly don’t know what to do.”

“Body, all you can do is try to get to know her again. Spend time with her; see if any of your memories come back to you. The more time you spend with her, the more chance of those memories returning, even the Doc said that.”

He nods and looks at the doorway. Hearing footsteps I turn and see Doctor Graham walking into the room with a clipboard in her hand.

“Good afternoon, Brody. I’m here to run a few more tests and then we can determine whether you will be able to go home in a couple of days.”

Rising from my chair I tell him I’ll head down and grab a coffee and give them some privacy.