Surrender to Love (22 page)

“Work is great. I thought we were here to interview Casey’s boyfriend of the month.”

“What?” Casey gasped. “
Is that what you’re doing?”

“Oh don’t act so surprised,” Jon snapped, glaring daggers at his sister. He almost couldn’t stomach looking at her rosy cheeks or her jubilant smile or the damn sparkles she
had in her eyes every time she cast a coy look at his former friend. “You’ve known since day one what these dinners were all about.”

“Jon,” his father said sternly. “Enough.”

“What? We didn’t even get to the good parts yet,” Jon protested.

“Jon, what is the matter with you?” Casey asked, looking hurt.

He blinked, realizing how on edge he felt. “I’m sorry. I’m not feeling myself today. If you’ll excuse me.” He got up from the table and headed for the front door before he said anything else he’d regret. He never should have come tonight. His mood wasn’t right for any of this, and he wasn’t fit to be around people. The past few days had been torture for him. Without Patricia to look forward to, everything looked bleak, dull, lifeless. Pointless. He knew he was falling into a depression, but he wasn’t inclined to try to pull himself out of it this time.

How was he supposed to trudge through the days when he didn’t even care if he woke up in the morning?

“Jon?” His mother called out to him, jogging toward the truck.

Jon settled himself behind the wheel and closed the door. He wasn’t in the mood for the lecture he knew was coming, or a heart-to-heart, or anything else she might have in mind. All he wanted to do was go home, crawl in to bed and sleep. He was so unbelievably tired.

Setting her foot on the runner board, she pulled herself up and propped her arms on the open window frame. “What happened in there?”

Jon stared blankly out the windshield. “Just what I was asked to do.”

She shook her head. “No, whatever that was, it had nothing to do with your sister. I’m worried about you, sweetie. You look so tired, and I think you’ve lost some weight.” She paused. “Does this have anything to do with Patti?”

When Jon didn’t answer her, she sighed. “Did you two break up?”

“Yeah,” he admitted.

“Aw, sweetie, how come?”

He saw Patricia’s face, twisted with a mixture of hurt, anger, and regret as she sat there on that hospital bed, and he wondered if he’d made the right decision in letting her go. Hell, when she’d called for him to come back, he almost had.

“It just wasn’t working out,” he said roughly.

“But you two looked so happy together,” she said, trying to puzzle it out. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with the Colliers, would it? Because I swear, if you broke up with her over that, I will slap you myself.”

“They were right. I had no right to be with her. I don’t deserve someone like Patricia.”

A sudden crack split through the cab right next to Jon’s ear and the subsequent burn across his cheek made him lift his hand to his face. “Holy shit, Mom, did you just slap me?”

She gave him a smug look. “I told you I would. Now you listen here, mister. I’ve had about enough of this. You’re going to end this bullshit martyr thing you have going on
, and you’re going to go find that girl and grovel for her to take you back.”

“But—”

“No buts. You heard what your father said. If that girl really loves you like I know she does, then she won’t care whether you’re rich, poor, a hardened criminal or a politician.” She stopped, giving him a thoughtful look. “I guess that last part was a little redundant, but you know what I mean.”

“How do you know what Dad said?”

“Honey, really? I’m a mom. You should know that I hear everything that goes on in this house. Now, are you going to go fix this?”

Jon dropped a quick kiss on her forehead and started the truck. “I’ll think about it,” he promised.

She jumped to the ground and backed away so he could pull out of the driveway. “You’d better! Next time you come to dinner, I want to see my future daughter-in-law at my table, too!” 

Jon shook his head as he drove away. He meant what he’d said, he would think about it, but he couldn’t guarantee that he would do anything about it.

22

“You need to
decide what’s more important—him or the car.”

Those were the words
of wisdom her mother left her with after dropping by for a visit the previous day. Patti had been in a particularly down mood the past couple of days, and knowing that she would soon have to find it in herself to celebrate the impending birth of Piper and Tate’s first child among a roomful of happy people just made her want to throw up. Naturally, she’d told her mother all of this, and that’s the advice she’d given in return. Not exactly helpful, but it did get her thinking.

Her feelings were amplified when she got a check in the mail from Jon’s insurance agency
later that evening as payment for the accident.

It felt like years ago that it
had happened.

She already knew she wasn’t going to cash the check. It was a moot point anyway. She’d inflicted more damage on the car than he had, and this time she didn’t plan
to fix it up.

It pained her, but after what her mother said, she’d
decided to sell the car. There was no question one way or the other. Getting rid of it would serve as a symbol of her love and devotion to their relationship. Jon and their baby were more important to her than a stupid hunk of metal. Sure, she had many good memories wrapped up in that car, but there were bad ones, too. She’d been holding on to it all these years as a way to stay close to her father, to keep him in her thoughts, but the truth was, she didn’t need it to remember him or all the good times they’d shared. She could do that all on her own.

By the time the day of the party arrived, s
he’d agonized over whether or not to go a hundred times over, unsure of whether Jon would be there or not. She didn’t think she could stand to see him after watching him walking away from her like he had, but she didn’t think she could bear knowing he’d gone and she’d missed the opportunity.

She wanted to tell him that she was selling the car. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him.
She wanted to tell him that she was pregnant. But she was terrified of how he would receive her.

He’d made it abundantly clear that she was no good for him. That he wasn’t willing to expend the time and energy it required to be with her because she was too much like his dead girlfriend. But, she reminded herself, that wasn’t the real her. The one who clung to inanimate objects and adopted a dead man’s joy over cars and speed and pointless, dangerous thrills had never been an accurate measurement of who she really was.

The problem was, she’d spent so much of her life developing that persona that she wasn’t even sure who her true self was, but she was trying to figure it out.

The only thing she knew for certain was that she loved Jon and she wanted him in her life. She didn’t care about his past, because everyone had one. She only wanted to be happy, to lead a good life, and she knew, after having him missing from hers, that the only way she’d ever be happy was if he
were a part of it.

But would he want to be a part of
her life? That was the million-dollar question.

That’s why she was now sitting—more like moping—in a room filled with chattering couples, nibbling on a celery stick while trying her damnedest to remain invisible. Jon hadn’t shown up yet, but rumor had it he’d said he would. Her stomach was fluttering and her palms were clammy and she couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off the door.

“Can we tell them yet?” Jules appeared in her line of vision.

Patti pursed her lips. Her friend had
nagged her since the moment she found out about her pregnancy to share the news with everyone, but Patti kept refusing. “No. I already told you, Jon should be the first to know.”

“But you already told me and your mom,” she complained. “And don’t forget the doctor and the nurses and the lab techs at the hospital. He’d hardly
be the first in line to know about it.”

“Regardless, I’m not telling anyone
yet. Besides,” Patti tacked on, “this party is about Piper and Tate. I’m not about to rain on their parade.”

“Who says it would be raining? I
t’s just more to celebrate.” Jules slung her arm over her shoulder and pulled her into her side, giving her a playful squeeze. “Come on. Just one person?”

Patti wasn’t about to agree to that, but just for curiosity’s sake, she asked, “If I say yes, who would you tell?”

“I don’t know.” Jules cast a thoughtful look around the room. “How about Sheila?”

“Ha!” Patti belted out a laugh. “Nice try, but everyone in this room would know about it in a matter of minutes. Not gonna happen, sister.”

“Then I pick Lynn.”

“No.”

“What about Piper? You know she can keep a secret.”

“No. Not a soul. Now back off before I’m forced to split your lip.”
She shook her fist in the air.

“Rawr.” Jules made claw hands at her. She snatched a carrot stick from her plate and chomped the end of it off. “This pregnancy thing has made you snappy, momma.”

“I’ll show you snappy,” Patti rebutted. It felt good to laugh a little, to blow off some steam, and forget, for a moment, that she wasn’t a ball of nervous energy on the verge of explosion.

Jules became uncharacteristically serious. “Have you told your dad yet?”

She was one of the few people in her life who knew that Patti made it a habit to visit her dad’s grave and keep him updated on everything that was happening in her life. Not everyone understood her need to do it, like her mother, but Jules did. That was part of what made her such a great friend. Last year, she even helped her celebrate what would have been his sixty-third birthday with a small graveside party.

Patti picked at the vegetables heaped on her plate, configuring them into flower patterns. “No. I’m not sure I’m ready to tell him what a mess I’ve made of my life yet.”

Jules patted her on the knee. “Honey, you haven’t made a mess out of your life. So you’re single, who cares? At least you get to bring a beautiful new life into the world. I don’t think he would complain about having a grandchild, do you?”

“No.
” Patti sulked, realizing that he wouldn’t even get to meet it.

“What’s with all the gloomy faces?” Patti and Jules looked up to find Piper
waddling toward them with a big smile on her face. “This is a party you two. I want to see laughing and smiling and, gosh darn it, I want dancing.” She grabbed one of the empty chairs at their table and plopped down on it. “Good lord, if this kid doesn’t come out soon, I swear I’m going to lock Tate in the bedroom and make him orgasm me into labor.”

“That would
barely be a hardship,” Tate said, grinning as he walked up behind her and dropped a kiss to his wife’s cheek. His hands found her shoulders and he began massaging them as he looked up. “Ladies.”

“Tate,” Jules and Patti said as on
e.

“What the hell are you eating vegetables for,” Tate asked, his face scrunched up in disgust, “when we hired ‘The Cook’ to make all those insanely expensive and flamboyantly designed cupcakes and hor
s d’oeuvres?”

“For the ten-thousandth time, his name is Tom,” Piper said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. 

“He put his mouth on my wife, therefore, he will always be ‘The Cook,’” Tate retorted.

“Looking forward to being a father?”
Patti asked him, hoping to change the subject before it spiraled out of control. Not that it was likely, since it was rumored that Tate and Tom had actually formed a pretty tight friendship once he was sure that Tom’s relationship with Sheila wasn’t just a sham.

A serene look came over him, but he shrugged it off,
affecting a most unaffected look. “Eh, it’s no Cubs game, but it’s still pretty exciting.”

Piper reached back and smacked him on the thigh. “What he means to say is that he’s over the moon about it. Isn’t that right, honey?”

“That’s right, dear.” He chuckled, and then gave her another kiss. “Looks like we have a couple of new guests. I’m going to leave you ladies to it and go say hello.”

All three women turned to look in the direction Tate was headed, and Patti felt her stomach flip wildly when her gaze fell on the man with the dark countenance standing in the doorway.

“Holy shit, look who’s here,” Jules said under her breath. “And he brought a friend, too. Who the hell is that tall drink of water, Piper?”

“Oh, him?” Piper turned back around to face them, acting as though she couldn’t see that Patti’s whole world had come to a complete stop
, and every ounce of oxygen had been sucked from the room the moment Jon walked through the door, leaving her gasping for air. “That’s Jon’s friend, Travis. Tate goes golfing sometimes with them. I guess he’s a nice enough guy. Why, you planning on introducing yourself?” She grinned knowingly.

“Nope, but you are. Oh and here they come. Look alive ladies.” Jules tossed back her hair and fluffed her boobs.

“Travis, this is Patti, Jules, and my lovely wife, Piper,” Tate said, pointing each of them out.

“Nice to meet you,” Travis said politely, smiling at each of them.

“And I’d introduce Jon, but I think you’ve already met.”

Patti
’s heart pounded. She couldn’t take her eyes off Jon. He was so handsome in his black slacks and soft blue button down. His black tie had been loosened slightly, but he still looked every bit as dashing and professional as she remembered. He must have just come from work. She wanted to ask him how his day was, but realized that it wasn’t her place to do that anymore.

Jon glanced at her once, acknowledging her presence, but as the day wore on, he seemed to be deliberately avoiding her.

He moved around the room, chatting with random groups of men who were almost as boisterous as the women were when they became excited over something they found particularly interesting. It was good to see him in a social setting, watching him laugh and smile as though nothing was bothering him, but Patti thought she could see subtle signs that all was not right in his world. He had shadows under his eyes, like he hadn’t been sleeping well, and although he smiled often and at all the right times, it seemed tight to her, almost forced.

Could it be that he was having a hard time with all of this, too, or was that just her trying to reason out an excuse to talk to him?

By three o’clock, Tate and Piper stood at the front of the room calling everyone’s attention. “It’s time to open the gifts,” he announced. “And you’d better hope yours is good, or else you’ll be seeing it again come Christmas.” Everyone laughed at his little joke.

Patti watched dutifully as her friends began tearing into their gifts. She sipped her water. Tried to ignore her preening friend who was making a damned fool of herself trying to get
the attention of Jon’s friend.

“He’s so hot,” she breathed, staring openly at him. “Don’t you think?” She glanced at Patti expectantly.

“Totally.” She nodded.

“You didn’t even look!” Jules hissed. “Look at that man
, and then you tell me you don’t think he’s got it going on.”

Patti sighed
and forced herself to look, but she wasn’t looking at the man Jules had her libido set on. She only had eyes for one man, and he was looking right at her. Their blue eyes locked, and Patti’s insides seized up. Everything that had been left unsaid was right there in his eyes for her to see, and Patti wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait to talk to him. After the party, she decided. She would catch him then and force him to talk to her. Come hell or high water, they were going to work this out.

“Okay, quit ogling my man,” Jules said, jerking back her attention. “So, what do you think?”

“He’s amazing. Perfect,” she said, but her words were directed toward the only man she had eyes for…

“So you think I should go for it?”

Patti nodded. “Definitely.”

Jules grinned, pleased with her answer. “It’s just too bad he’s friends with that asshole. You really dodged a bullet with that one, but at least you got something good out of it.”

Patti frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Him, Jon
, or whatever his name is. The guy you were dating?” Jules sent him an evil glare. Patti glanced up, seeing his brows lift in question. Jules leaned in, whispering conspiratorially in her ear. “A couple of the girls went out for drinks after work the other night and Sheila told me that she saw him having dinner with some bimbo.”

“How does she even know it was him?” Patti inquired, her stomach beginning to
knot. “She only met him once, and we weren’t even dating yet.”

“
Well, she didn’t call him by name but she said it was that hot guy who followed you to our table a couple of weeks ago. The same one who had two girlfriends.” Her eyebrows rose up and she gave Patti a challenging look. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who she was talking about.”

No it didn’t. Patti didn’t want to believe it, but she trusted her friends, and if they said they saw him with another woman, she was inclined to believe them. “Well,” she said, shifting in her chair. She played idly with the food on her plate, trying to quell the growing sickness brewing in her stomach. “It’s not like we’re dating anymore. He’s free to see whomever he wants.”