Surviving Day by Day (Book 3): Still They Come (28 page)

Charlie stood up, but looked to Ceara, “She never wants to see me?”

Colt poured his coffee in the sink and started for the back door to follow Alden, “She is saying goodbye, I know her… she would do that.”

Charlie watched Colt’s back disappear out the door, “Do you guys think he’s right?”

Ceara stood up to join Charlie, “You want me to go with you?” Charlie nodded, “I don’t want to do it alone.”

The two were soon knocking on the door, and walked into the room to join Beth. She looked at both and smiled, “I knew you two would be together. Come over here and talk to me.”

Ceara and Charlie sat on each side of the bed; Beth took their hands and placed them in the other, “You two are the hope for this world, not now, not tomorrow, but later. You have a love that will help rebuild this world. You have to keep each other safe, never doubt the other. I am telling you this because you are young enough that if there were to be a cure, you could still start a family.”

Charlie blushed, “Beth, we don’t, we haven’t… well umm”

Beth looked shocked, “You two still haven’t made love? What in the world are you waiting on?” She looked to Ceara, “Honey, are you a virgin?”

“BETH!”

Beth laughed but it turned into a cough. After a small drink of water, she continued. “Honey, I don’t have time for polite questions; now are you and is that why you are waiting?”

Charlie spoke up, “It isn’t her, it’s me… I was taught to be married first.”

Beth winked at him, “Charlie, everything we were taught growing up doesn’t fit this world. Let me ask you this… Do you love Ceara?”

Charlie looked to Ceara then back to Beth, “Of course I do.”

“Would you want to marry her?”

Charlie looked back to Ceara again, looked deep into her eyes this time and without looking away, “In a heartbeat.”

“Then you are married… look in your hearts and you will know I’m right. There is no one left to do a ceremony, besides that, you don’t need it! What we do need are couples that are the age to still have families. That is what I want you two to really think about. I know Alden disagrees with this, and I know how he feels. I am not talking about now, I just want you to start thinking in those terms.”

Beth leaned forward between them, “I want to say goodbye, we always say we have things left unsaid and I don’t want you guys feeling like that at all. I love you both very much, and I am so proud of how much you have grown since I first saw you guys shooting behind trees to save Colt and myself.”

Losing her energy she leaned back again, “That seems like a lifetime ago, and for me I guess it was… I think the world of both of you, never let this destruction or the loss of others stop you from moving forward and continuing on. If anything, allow all of this to show you the need to survive.”

Ceara grabbed Beth in a hug, “I don’t want to say goodbye! It isn’t fair! You have always taken care of us, so we should take care of you.”

Beth returned the hug then set Ceara back, “Honey, there is no taking care of me. If it were fixable, we would be doing it for all the others. Just tell me you love me and you will trust me on my decisions.” Beth looked to Charlie, “You too…”

Charlie gave her a hug too and sat back, “We both love you, and will miss you so much. You’re right when you said it feels like a lifetime. I don’t think any of us can imagine life without the other.”

Beth smiled, “We don’t want to think about it, but it is a fact of this world that people die. We lost Heath and that was hard, now you all will have to go through it again and for that I am sorry. I love you; please have Tabitha come talk to me.”

As Charlie and Ceara reached the door, Ceara turned back, “Love you too, and good luck with Tabitha.”

Soon Tabitha was sitting in the spot that Ceara had left, “I don’t want to hear any fucking goodbyes or I love you bullshit. You aren’t dead, you aren’t going to die,” Tabitha said in an angry tone.

Beth sat on the edge of the bed beside Tabitha causing the handcuff to rattle. Tabitha looked towards it, “Is that really necessary?”

Beth cocked an eyebrow, “I think if it were a stranger you would have had both hands cuffed, and that is if they were even allowed to keep breathing, so yes, it is necessary.”

Beth wrapped her free arm around Tabitha, “I know this is hardest on you and Colt, I am so sorry to put you through this when you have already lost Heath. You went through this just a few months ago. You like to pretend you are so strong and no one can get to you, but honey, you aren’t fooling anyone. You love everyone in this group. You care what happens, and you do what you can to keep them safe. You have to keep doing that Tabitha, don’t shut down and don’t close yourself off just because it’s easier. I will be watching from the other side and by the heavens above, I will come back and haunt you, if you don’t behave.” Beth smiled at Tabitha, but Tabitha just stood and walked to the window, watching Alden work on his truck.

She glanced over her shoulder at Beth then back to the window, “What’s the plan?”

“I don’t want to go into that, I want to have nothing left unsaid. Now, would you please come back over here and talk…” Before Beth could finish, she started throwing up into trashcan by her bed. Tabitha ran over trying to help. Soon Beth was having dry heaves, “Water, please.”

Tabitha grabbed the glass off the nightstand and held it as Beth drank. After several minutes, she was wiping her brow and pushing the trashcan away, “It won’t be long, Tabatha, it’s getting worse by the minute. I love you like a sister, you were what I always wanted from my own sister, which I missed because of her disease. You filled a hole that I didn’t even know I had. I will go to the next life happy. I will get to see my family and even see Heath and Niz. You want to know the funny part?”

Tabitha gave her a questioning look, and Beth continued, “I’m not the least bit scared. I have done everything I can. I have no regrets… ok, maybe that I would have liked to have seen that wanderer before he bit me.”

Tabitha glared at her, “That isn’t funny, and I love you too… You know I never had a family, never had people that gave a damn about me, till I met you guys.” Tabitha’s looks made Beth think of a little girl, “Beth, I don’t want to be alone again; I don’t want to be forgotten. I wish that thing had bit me.”

“Don’t you ever say that, Tabitha, you are such an asset to this group; they need you even more than they need me!” Tabitha’s looks made Beth quickly continue, “No, it’s true. I patch everyone up, but you have helped saved them from getting bit at all. All of you have grown and protected each other, and need each other. I am the expendable one, so in truth, it is good I was the one bitten.”

Tabitha rolled her eyes, “You don’t believe that bullshit any more than I do. You are still needed just as much now, as you always have been.”

Beth reached behind her to grab the notebook; “I am trusting this with you, this is how I am needed now. Everything I have gone through, every single detail is in that notebook. Not just from a person’s point of view, but a doctor’s. When you guys meet up with others, you find someone that could use that information. One day there may be a cure because of something little in there.”

Tabitha took the notebook and let it hang in her hand, “I love you Beth, I love you more than I have loved anyone. You are my sister, and I will never forget you.”

Beth hugged Tabitha tight, finally allowing herself to cry, “I love you too, you are my little sister in every way. Look out for everyone.”

Tabitha got to her feet, “Have you said goodbye to Colt yet?”

Beth swallowed hard, “No… he is the last I need to talk too, I just don’t know what to say.”

“You will figure it out, you have a way with him and you know it. You want me to go find him?”

“Yes, please.”

Tabitha headed out the back door looking for Colt. Alden was still working on his truck, “Hey Alden” she shouted, “Have you seen Colt?”

Alden looked out from under the hood and pointed around the barn. Tabitha headed off in that direction and almost ran into Colt as he rounded the corner; Tabitha stopped short, “Whoa! Hey, Beth said she wants to talk to you next.”

Colt walked around her as if he didn’t hear her, Tabitha jerked him around, “She is doing bad, Colt… Now get your ass in there and talk to her before it’s too late.”

Colt bit the inside of his cheek, just staring at Tabitha. He turned back to go where he was headed and she stopped him again, “I will kick your ass, don’t think I won’t!”

“Tabitha, you don’t get it! If I don’t say goodbye, she won’t die!” Colt’s voice had a pleading tone to it, “She wouldn’t die without saying goodbye, so I can’t go in there!”

Tabitha fell back on the barn wall, looking at Colt as if he were crazy, “Colt, you don’t believe that, after all it didn’t work with Jessica, did it?”

Colt deflated before Tabitha’s eye’s as he slowly lowered to the ground, “I don’t want to say goodbye again, Tab!”

Tabitha sat by him on ground, “You don’t have to say goodbye, but you do have to go let her say her goodbyes. It is her right, and you owe it to her to be strong through this. You want to fall apart afterwards, do it… but for now, you hold it together for her.”

Colt lowered his head, “I know you’re right. It’s just hard to go through again.”

Tabitha stood up, and held out her hand helping him up. “You aren’t going through it again; she won’t turn like Jessica did. I don’t know what she has planned, but I know that isn’t it.”

Colt felt like he was walking the last mile to the death chamber as he made his way down the hall. As he stood in front of the door, memories of Jessica flooded into his mind, part of him didn’t want Beth going through anything like that, but if he were honest with himself, a small part did. He took a deep breath and opened the door, “Hey…” The scene stopped any selfish thoughts he had. Beth was curled into the fetal position, holding the trashcan off the side of the bed.

In the weakest voice he had ever heard, Beth pleaded for water. Colt grabbed the glass and ran to the kitchen to refill it, he was soon holding Beth against his chest helping her try to drink water but as soon as she swallowed she was throwing it up. She finally pushed the glass away, “enough, my stomach is hurting too much.”

Colt laid her back on the bed, took the trash can, and set the glass on the nightstand. He grabbed the washcloth and wiped her brow. “I’m so sorry you are going through this, I would take it all away, if I could.”

Beth gave him a knowing look, and weakly said, “Colt, all things happen for a reason, I know I was meant to go through this and if the only reason was to track everything, then I have to do this the best I can.”

Colt slumped over with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. “I wish I had those beliefs. It seems like God is just doing his best to fuck me over.”

Beth laughed weakly, “It isn’t all about you, and maybe you are going through all this so you will be a stronger person.”

Colt looked up to her, “I sure don’t feel very strong, here you are going through all this, and I am feeling sorry for myself. I’m sorry, what can I do to help?”

“You can sit here with me and listen for a few minutes.”

Colt turned as much as he could on the bed, “I will be here as long as you want, just hard for me to see you this way.”

Beth patted his hand, “No picnic going through it either. I know today will be the day, I have talked to Alden and I will tell you that I won’t be turning, but I won’t let any of you end it for me either. I need to tell you a few things; first is that I love you. I have never made time for love in my life. I was always so focused on my career, that love wasn’t even given a chance. That is a great regret in my life. I wish I that I would have had a child, I wish I had the happy home. All I wanted was to find cures for diseases. Then all this happen, part of me was so glad I didn’t have a husband or children to see them die or worse crossover.”

Beth got a far off look, “I cannot imagine the strength you had to have to watch Jessica go through this. I know it isn’t fair for me to make you do it again. This is the most selfish thing I have ever done in my life.”

A coughing fit wracked Beth’s body again, Colt held the trashcan, but Beth waved it away. It finally subsided. Beth took the washrag and wiped her face, “Would you mind rinsing this out for me?”

Colt got it rinsed out and returned it, “I used cold water; did you want it warm?”

Beth shook her head, “I like the coolness, thank you. Where was I, oh yeah, my selfishness. As I said, it is the most selfish thing because I have finally found love with you, and I don’t want to lose a minute of the time we can have. It is selfish because it would be easier for you just to walk away, and I have begged you not to. I need you, I need to feel your love and strength to get me through this. You have been amazing, I know you don’t believe it or see it. I do, and that is what I wanted to tell you, not just goodbye but thank you. Thank you for showing me love, thank you for showing me a life as a family, thank you for accepting me for me.”

Colt laid his head in her lap crying, “I am nothing like that, I am the weakest member of this group and I want to die without you…. please don’t leave me!”

Beth stroked his hair, the anguish in his voice tore her heart out, she let him lie quietly, shedding tears for several minutes, “Colt, you are strong… no one else has gone through what you have, they can’t say what they would do. You need to have faith in yourself; that is my last request from you. Yes…. I am making a deathbed request and you know you have to do it. I want you to start seeing you through my eyes, stop looking at yourself through whatever eyes convinced you that you are weak. I want you to start taking control of your life, no more following. You be the man I know you are, be the man I love. I will be with you in your heart, right beside Jessica and we will guide you every step of the way.”