Surviving Regret (40 page)

“I will be.”

I dropped my arms from around him. Cooper pulled me over to the bed and slung an arm around me with a kiss to my forehead.

We sat there for a little while, no one talking, everyone in their own world. This was not helping me; I needed to do something to keep myself busy.

I needed a shower. I needed to wash this whole night away. I got up from the bed, grabbed my things from my dresser but stopped when I looked in the mirror and saw Cooper’s face. A thin gash marred the skin above his eyebrow.

He looked at me when I asked, “What happened?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

His answer didn’t surprise me. He had been protecting me.

“Tell me, please.” I finally said, breaking the eye contact in the mirror.

“Nothing happened, Kenzie.” Mason spoke up for the first time since I walked in the door.

I looked over at him. He hadn’t fared any better. His shirt was torn and stained red.

“Whose blood is that?”

Hailey untangled herself from Mason only to wrap her arms around me. I didn’t hug her back. I was pissed off that she didn’t try to warn me about what was about to happen with my brothers and Dominic. She may not have known exactly what was going on, but she knew it involved me.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“You could have warned me that something was going down with Dominic.”

“I know and I’m sorry. I was trying to look out for you. You would have gone after them if you knew.”

She was right, but still, it hurt.

I walked into the bathroom to take a shower, and I hoped when I was finished, everyone would be gone.

I turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it and got in. I stood there, letting the water run over my body. I finally cried all the tears that I had tried so hard to hold inside me. I curled up into the fetal position on the shower floor and stayed that way until the water ran cold. I got up, quickly washed myself, got out of the shower and threw on my sweat pants and hoodie.

When I finally worked up the courage to walk out of the bathroom and face everybody, I was surprised that no one was in the room but Hunter. I didn’t say anything to him as I walked over to my bed and climbed in. I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head, and snuggled into my pillow. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget today even happened.

Hunter walked over and turned the lights off. I waited to hear the door open but it didn’t. He pulled my desk chair over to my bed and started to rub my back, trying to comfort me.

The tears came back and slowly fell down my cheeks and onto my pillow. I tried to wipe them away so that Hunter would not know that I was crying again.

I heard Hunter’s phone beep with an incoming text. He stopped rubbing my back and pulled his phone out.

He cursed under his breath. “Dominic is on his way over.”

I didn’t answer right away. “I need to talk to him.” I looked up. “Alone.”

“No.”

I didn’t respond. I was not in the mood for another fight.

I gathered all of Dominic’s stuff: his jersey that I loved to wear every Saturday and a couple of his t-shirts that I slept in. I removed his pictures from my vanity mirror. I took off the ring that he bought me for my birthday. I needed to remove everything that tied me to him.

I heard a knock on the door and then yelling in the hallway. I thought everyone had left but they had not. They must have been waiting in the lounge, watching TV.

I looked at the door as it opened and Dominic walked in. He had a black eye, split lip and a gash across the bridge of his nose. I felt certain that his nose was also broken. Blood covered his shirt.

“Baby…”

“Don’t baby me!” I seethed through my teeth.

“I can expl…”

“No, no you fucking can’t,” I said. “There is nothing to explain. What’s done is done, Dominic.”

“She’s lying, Kenz. She can’t be pregnant. We used protection every time. It’s not possible. Even if she is pregnant, it isn’t mine.”

My eyes widened. “It doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t. You had
sex
with her. You lied to me!”

“So I guess you’re leaving me for this asshole now?” He eyed Hunter.

“No, I told you that you could trust me. I kept my promises.”

“Give me a break. Your piece of shit brothers can’t stop you from doing everything. You’ll run to him. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Watch it, Dominic, don't bring my brothers into this. We have had our own fucked up problems all along.”

He reached for me and I could see the defeated look in his eyes. I didn’t look away from him.

He reached in his pocket, pulled out a little black box, and dropped to one knee.

Was he out of his goddamned mind?

He looked up at me, a single tear running down his cheek. Hunter cursed behind me. The chair scraped across the floor and the door slammed shut.

I scrubbed my face with my hands. “Please don’t do this.”

“Baby, I love you. I fucked up, but that will never happen again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to take care of you. I want to start a family with you and grow old with you. You keep me grounded when I’m with you; I feel like everything in the world is right. I don’t have that feeling when I’m not with you; everything spirals out of control. MacKenzie, will you marry me?”

I started crying, so hard that I couldn’t even make out what the ring looked like. I shook my head no, and I heard him whisper, “Please Kenzie?”

“I can’t, Dominic. You broke me. You broke us. You don’t want to marry me.”

I wiped my cheeks with the sleeves of my sweatshirt and knelt down in front of him, so that we were eye to eye. “You’re not in love with me…” He started to argue but I placed my index finger to his lips to keep him quiet. “Yes, you love me but we’re not in love with each other. I don’t think we ever were.”

I dropped my finger from his lips and his head followed my hand down to my side where my hands now rested. I stared down and saw tears hit the floor. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

I stood up and gathered the bag of his stuff. I dropped it in front of him.

“I’m so sorry I fucked this all up,” he said.

“I’m sorry you did too.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

After Dominic left, I turned the lights off and crawled back in bed. I had a few moments of peace before the door opened.

“Kenzie?” I heard a thump. Hunter must have walked into Hailey’s bed. I picked up my phone from my bed and turned it on so he could see where he was walking.

“You ok?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I want to go to sleep and forget this shit ever happened.” I turned on my side and faced away from him.

The chair scraped against the floor. He rubbed his fingers up and down my back. I slowly drifted off to sleep.

My sleep didn’t last, and I woke up crying. Hunter reached over to the nightstand and handed me some pain reliever and water.

“Here take these.”

“You don’t have to sit there all night. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I do. Just try and get some more sleep.”

He was pissed. I could sense it. What was I supposed to do? I was pissed too.

I laid there for a while and eventually fell back asleep, but again, it was not for very long. At least this time when I woke up, I was not crying.

I looked over at Hunter and he still sat in the same place he had been since he walked in but now, his head rested on his hand and he was asleep.

I sat up and looked over at Hailey’s empty bed; I got up and pulled her covers down. I walked over to Hunter and woke him.

“Hey, wake up.” He stirred slightly and opened his eyes. “Come on. If you are going to stay here, sleep in Hailey’s bed.”

He got up, crawled into Hailey’s bed and faced the direction of my bed. I got back into my bed and faced him. I knew he was not going to fall back asleep until I did, so I closed my eyes and pretended to fall back asleep. I laid there for what seemed like forever but then I heard Hunter’s heavy breathing. I concentrated on breathing in and out and I eventually fell back asleep too.

When I woke up again, the sun was shining in my room. I got up and took another shower. My brothers didn’t come here to help nurse my broken heart. I had to pull myself together because we made plans to go to Busch Gardens. I wasn’t backing out.

Hunter was still asleep when I came back to the room. I ran my fingers through his hair and ruffled it.

“Hunter, come on get up; we have to go.”

He stretched. “We don’t have to go; they’ll understand.”

Just the thought of sitting here and rehashing everything that had happened made me want to cry again.

“And what are we going to do? Sit here and stare at the walls? I can’t do that; I can’t sit here and cry.”

“You sure you’re up for it?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” I would be, at least for a little while. “Plus, Dad gave me money for an emergency. Today is an emergency, so I’m using it.”

“Alright, let’s go back to my house so I can grab a quick shower.”

When we got there, Mason, Hailey and Cooper were still getting ready. I knocked a couple drink cups out of my way, but the house survived the party in remarkably good condition.

“That was a shitty thing that happened to you.” Bentley said from the kitchen table.

“Yeah.”

Don’t people understand that you normally don’t want to talk about a break up? I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want to get into the details of what happened either. I escaped to the deck to get some fresh air.

The door slid open a few minutes after I walked out.

“You ok?” Hunter leaned on the banister.

“I’m fine.”

“So I assume you told Dom no last night?”

Really? Did he think for a second I would tell him yes?

“Definitely no.”

Hunter reached out and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. He moved closer so that we were shoulder to shoulder. He grabbed my hand and we stayed like that until Mason came out.

“What the fuck, Hunter?”

I quickly swung around, wondering what I missed.

“What?” Hunter frowned.

“You know
what
. Stay the fuck away from her; she doesn’t need to deal with anymore bullshit.”

What the hell?

“Mase, what the hell is going on?” I asked.

“Nothing, come on let’s go.” He turned around and stormed off into the house. Hunter followed with a profanity.

“Hey, you ready?” Hailey asked me, peaking out the door.

“I guess, but what the hell happened last night? Mase damn near bit off Hunter’s head.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing they can’t work out themselves.”

I shook my head and followed Hailey out to Mason’s car. During most of the drive to the park, Hunter and Cooper talked about the upcoming baseball season, but Mason and Hunter said nothing to each other. I only felt slightly calmer when Hunter would brush my knee when he saw me glaring at the back of Mason’s head, or when Cooper would make stupid jokes and we would all laugh. The only person Mason talked to was Hailey.

We finally made it to the park, but when I tried to pay for the tickets using my emergency money, Hunter stopped me.

“I got it.” He took my card and put it in his back pocket.

“Give me my card back.” I held my hand out.

“Just let him pay, Kenzie.” Cooper said from behind us.

I gave Cooper a dirty look but followed behind Hunter. I was going to repay him whether he liked it or not.

We all had a great time at the park; that was exactly what I needed. But there was still tension between Mason and Hunter. I tried to ignore it. I didn’t want anything to ruin the buzz the rollercoasters gave my all-too-dizzy head. I also didn’t want to go back to the dorms. They were too close to Dom.

Hailey must have read my mind. She suggested we go back to Hunter’s house, sleep over and watch movies until we passed out like we used to at home.

“Sounds good, Hailey, your bed is like sleeping on a cinder block. My shoulders are stiff as hell.” Hunter complained.

“My bed is not. I love it. I sleep like a princess.” Hailey said beaming.

“Maybe it had to do with the fact that you slept half the night in the chair.” I added.

“Dude, I told you I would have stayed with her.” Cooper commented.

“And I told you that it wasn’t a good idea to stay with her Hunter.” Mason didn’t hide the edge in his voice.

No one said anything after that. Hailey pulled Mason in front of us to make our way back to the car. I followed behind with Cooper and Hunter.

“Will someone please tell me what happened between you two?” I asked.

Cooper shrugged but spoke up first. “Mason doesn’t want you with Hunter.”

I stopped walking but Cooper kept walking until he realized I had stopped. Hunter just kept on walking. Either he didn’t realize I had stopped, or he didn’t want to hear anymore.