Sutherland’s Pride (14 page)

Gloria grabbed his other hand, and the two women pulled him down to kneel on the floor between them. This signaled the children to kneel beside their beds, with folded hands and closed eyes.

“My daddy says the prayer.” Eric looked expectantly over his shoulder at Flynn.

Flynn stared at Pride in silent pleading.

“Flynn is new at this,” Gloria pointed out. “Aunt Pride and I are going to say the prayer tonight.”

Gloria led a prayer which asked blessings on the household, on each person in it by name, and especially on one Eddie Boudreaux, currently on a drilling rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Pride added to Gloria’s petition, mentioning Flynn’s parents for Johnny’s benefit.

“All right, everybody,” she said, upon closing. “In the bed. Eyes closed.”

The four children leaped back beneath their covers and squeezed their eyes shut. The three adults tiptoed from the room, and Gloria flicked the light switch off and partially shut the door. She and Pride remained at the door for a moment, listening.

“They’re tired, thank God,” Gloria said. “I do believe they’re going to go to sleep with no trouble.”

“Glory be.” Pride pretended to wipe her forehead. “Come on, Flynn. There’s coffee in the kitchen.”

“I’d like to talk privately with you, if you don’t mind. Gloria, I promise I’ll have her back in an hour. Now that I’ve seen it for myself, I can understand why Pride didn’t want to leave you alone for long.”

Gloria laughed. “Don’t let her snow you. I’m accustomed to dealing with lots of little children. What’s one more?”

“It depends on the identity of said one more,” Pride said. “Let me get my purse.”

She fetched her purse and wondered whether she should load it with a brick, just in case, then chuckled at the thought. Poor Flynn was in no condition to fight at the moment.

Flynn walked her to his Bronco and helped her step inside, then stood looking at her a moment. Dusk fell rapidly, but the light was still good enough for him to study her figure in the pink cotton dress she wore.

“I see now why you’ve gotten so thin,” he said.

Pride gave him a challenging look. “I’ve been on a diet. When you knew me, I still had a certain amount of puppy fat.”

“Don’t hand me that,” Flynn said in rough tones. “You’ve been too keyed up to eat. I remember how you always got when you were wound up over anything. You have been nervous, haven’t you? For the past three years.”

Pride considered denying it, but Flynn wasn’t above tackling Gloria about it. Gloria’s loyalty to her cousin extended only so far. If Gloria thought it would bring relief to Pride, she’d spill all to Flynn.

“A child is a tremendous responsibility,” she temporized. “It won’t be long until you’ll probably wish you hadn’t learned about Johnny.”

“Don’t think that, Pride,” Flynn said. “Don’t ever think that.” He closed the door and came around. “Other than you, Johnny is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Pride said nothing. There was no safe reply she could make.

Flynn glanced at her and smiled as he started the engine. “You don’t believe me. One of these days, no matter how long it takes, you will.”

Pride forbore replying. Flynn’s statement sounded uncomfortably like a vow. She saw no sense in saying something that would increase his determination.

“You’ve been thinking ahead about Johnny’s future, haven’t you?” he asked.

“Yes. I was all he had, you know, except for Gloria and Eddie. That’s why I specified you as Johnny’s legal guardian in my will.”

“Your will.” Flynn turned his head to stare at her and almost drove into a ditch. “When did you make your will?”

“Before Johnny was born, of course. Childbirth is supposed to be a natural procedure, but one never really knows.”

He concentrated on the street ahead in silence for a moment.

“Who was with you when Johnny was born?” he asked.

“Eddie and Gloria.” She disliked the set look of Flynn’s jaw as he asked the question. “Eddie is a world-class expert in coaching a woman through natural childbirth. Gloria was almost nine months pregnant herself. She sat on the sidelines yelling encouragement from time to time.”

Flynn smiled also, but lines of strain appeared at the corners of his mouth. “I wish I had been with you.”

“No, you don’t, Flynn. I wasn’t the best of patients. Pain isn’t my forte, and I gave poor old Eddie hell.”

Flynn didn’t find that as amusing as Pride had hoped he would. His expression, or what she could see of it in the shadowy evening light, grew even more strained.

“I should have been with you,” he said.

Pride said nothing. God knew she wished he had been.

“Tell me about it,” he said suddenly. “I want to know everything you can remember, starting from the first labor pain.”

“I don’t remember the first pain.” Pride watched Flynn’s hands as he guided the Bronco into the parking lot of a small restaurant. “I had just conceived the idea for a column, and I was hard at work on the first column when I suddenly realized I was cramping, and that it had been going on for some time.”

“I remember.” Flynn’s knuckles showed white on the wheel. “When you were writing, you forgot everything.”

He’d said he wanted to know, Pride reiterated inwardly. “I figured it was nothing, since I wasn’t due for another week. So, I got up and stretched a bit and got back to work. In another hour the pain got so bad, I knew something was up.”

“You need a keeper.” Flynn gripped the steering wheel.

Pride shrugged. “When I stood up, I knew the time had come. I called Gloria, and she located Eddie and sent him over. He hauled me to the hospital, and Gloria joined us after she took Eric and Tracy to her mother’s.”

“What happened then?” Flynn parked the car, shut off the motor and remained in place, staring straight ahead.

“Nothing.” Pride smiled. “That’s when I nearly went crazy. The pain got worse and worse, and Eddie kept telling me to pant until I threatened to sock him in the eye. He said socking your coach in the eye wasn’t allowed, and I yelled a lot of unrepeatable stuff. Eddie finally had to back off and coach me from a distance.”

She glanced over and found Flynn’s face turned toward her.

“Go on.” Flynn didn’t seem to find the story amusing.

“After hours and hours of that, Johnny finally managed to get himself born, with very little help from me,” she finished.

“Tell me about it,” Flynn instructed.

“What do you want to know, Flynn? By the time Johnny was born, I was in pretty bad shape. I don’t do pain, especially prolonged pain, and that’s what childbirth is. I was thankful when it was over.”

Flynn frowned. “What did he look like?”

“He looked flattened and red and mad, but I thought he was the most beautiful creature on earth. In fact, I fell asleep admiring him.”

“When did you get to go home with him?”

“The next day, thank goodness. I bounced back fast.”

She said nothing about the three weeks she’d spent with Eddie and Gloria, while she learned to care for her baby, and the struggle she’d made to breastfeed him. Flynn, after one glance at her, forbore pressing for more information. He unbuckled his seat belt and got out slowly, still frowning.

She smiled. “Johnny is already turning you into an old man.”

“Between the pair of you, I should be pushing ninety in about two more days.” Flynn came around and helped her out. “I suppose you must have gotten ready for this gradually.”

The pressure of Flynn’s warm hand at her back felt both comforting and familiar. For a moment, she hovered in danger of dumping all her burdens on Flynn.

“I suppose I did.” She edged out of his range.

“Come back here.” Flynn seized her arm and tucked it in his. “One more action like that out of you, and I might really go crazy.”

“All that was over three years ago.”

“No, Pride, it isn’t over.” He studied her face. “Not by a long shot. You just haven’t realized it yet.”

They followed the hostess to an unoccupied table. Flynn seated her, and when she claimed she wasn’t hungry, he ordered two cups of coffee and two dishes of vanilla ice cream, along with a slice of pumpkin pie for Pride.

“You used to love pumpkin pie,” he said, when she protested. “You’re much too thin. The only way to gain a little weight back is to take in a few more calories.”

“Since I couldn’t be rich, I was trying for thin.” She pleated her napkin then smoothed it out.

“I told you.” Flynn smiled at her. “You’re rich now, so you can afford to gain some weight. Eat it for me, Pride. I want to see you looking like yourself again.”

“Well, I think I look better now.” Pride straightened and gave him a defiant look. “What do you want from me, Flynn? It ought to be obvious to you by now that I want you to know Johnny and to have a chance to be his father. What else do you want?”

Flynn replied simply, “You. I want us to be a family, you and Johnny and me.”

“You had me three years ago, Flynn. You just didn’t want me.” She propped her chin on her hand and stared at the table top. “I hoped you would ask me to marry you before you took off for Europe.” She shrugged. “Look how that turned out.

“If you want to know the truth, I was stalling because I knew I was going to have to reiterate the part about not being able to give you children.” He watched her a moment. “I know it sounds ridiculous now, but I wasn’t looking forward to making that speech.”

“You’re right. It does sound ridiculous.”

“Try and understand, Pride. A man doesn’t relish feeling something less than a man.”

“If you think you can explain to me what siring children has to do with being a man, please try,” Pride said, exasperated.

“I don’t think you’d be very receptive of any explanation can give you,” Flynn said. “A man’s ego is bound up in things like virility.”

“Virility is very different from fertility,” Pride pointed out. “In fact, I’d be the first to state that there’s nothing wrong with your virility. Or your fertility either, for that matter.” She added, in tones of annoyance, “If you’re willing to propose now because your mind has been set at rest on those points, you can forget about it.”

“We made a child together. Don’t you think he deserves a traditional family structure with two parents to watch over him?”

Pride waited while the waitress set coffee before them and said nothing.

“What will it take to convince you I’m serious?” he asked.

“I want you to know Johnny. I’m not going to be doing things to circumvent your rights as a father. Can’t you let it go at that? You don’t have to be married to me to have free access to your son.”

“I’m not talking about Johnny,” Flynn said. “I’m talking about us. You and me. It should have been obvious to you that I was trying to get you back before I found out about Johnny.”

“I wouldn’t know, Flynn,” Pride said. “I’ve had a lot on my mind. Lots of things passed right over my head while I was waiting for tonight to come.”

“Was it this afternoon?” Flynn laughed. “It seems a lifetime ago. I’ve become a different man.”

She glanced up. “You have?”

“Sure, I have. I’ve become a father.”

Flynn saw that Pride liked that statement. “Yes, you are a different man, once you become a father,” she agreed.

He watched her add a generous dollop of milk to her coffee. “Have you read the letter your father gave you yet?”

Pride glanced up in surprise. “Not yet. Things were rather hectic when we got home this afternoon. The children didn’t want to settle down and go to bed.” She concentrated on her coffee cup once more. “Maybe tonight.”

“Don’t put it off too long,” he said. “Which brings me to the something I’d like to know. Why did he tell me you’d had a miscarriage?”

In fact, Flynn discovered himself considerably irritated over the question. If he hadn’t thought Pride had lost the baby, he probably would have continued searching for her until he found her. Then he wouldn’t be in this fix today.

“I really don’t know the answer to that,” she replied, “but I suspect it had something to do with his dislike of having everybody know his daughter was an unwed mother.” Pride kept her gaze focused on her coffee cup. “Once I left Houston, I had no further communication with him.”

“Do you happen to know why he told me you were in New York?” Flynn asked, in his calmest voice.

“New York,” Pride repeated, in the same tones she would have said, “Outer Mongolia.”

“Yes, New York. He said you had a job offer from a major women’s magazine, and that you intended to take it.”

Pride looked surprised. “Heavens, Flynn, I have no idea. It’s true that I had received a good job offer from a New York–based magazine, but I never intended to accept it.” She paused, frowning. “I don’t think I even told him about the offer. By that time, I wasn’t talking to him anymore.”

“I see.” Flynn kept his voice calm and steady with a great effort, even though he now realized Pride knew nothing about her father’s state of mind, or what he had done after her departure.

“If you’re trying to lead up to something, you may as well go ahead and tell me what it is, because none of that is important, if you want my opinion,” Pride said in tart tones. “What’s important is Johnny. We ought to talk about him instead of things Daddy did that have nothing to do with this.”

In his opinion, Judge Donovan’s actions had a great deal to do with everything. “We will. I promise.” Flynn waited a moment while the waitress set out dishes of ice cream and Pride’s slice of pumpkin pie. “But I would like to know why he deliberately misled me into looking for you in New York, when you were practically next door in Louisiana.”

Pride caught his gaze. “Maybe he didn’t want you to find me,” she said after a moment of silence. “Although I certainly don’t know why not. I would have thought he would help you find me with a shotgun or something.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Flynn. I honestly don’t know why Daddy would do such a thing. Maybe he intended to tell you the truth when you came to his hospital room.”

“Maybe,” Flynn said in bleak tones. “If he hadn’t died, would you have ever told me about Johnny?”

“Yes, in June, one month from now. I was planning a trip to Houston on a matter of business, so I had assembled in advance all the papers I thought you might like to see. It’s a good thing, because when we heard about Daddy’s death, everything was already ready.”