Swan Dive (20 page)

TWENTY

(Day #9 – Friday Morning)

I ached and I cried and I wanted to erase all my memories from the night before. I broke Matty’s heart. My sweet, wonderful Matty. I broke my own heart. I loved him and needed him and missed him already. Fear and panic came over me in waves, some small, some large, thinking he’d never speak to me again. He’d never smile at me or confide in me or laugh with me. It left a hole in my heart.

I wanted my life back. Simple, easy, happy. My cottage, my friends, my Ballantyne. Boys messed it all up for me. I wasn’t a diary person, but in that early morning moment, as I hurt and ached and cried, I understood the need. The urgent need to release the emotions. The catharsis of writing them down.

Slowly, and with every cell of energy I had, I rolled over and glanced at the clock: 9:37. I’d been awake for five hours. I went to grab another tissue from the box, but it was empty. Crumpled and tattered tissues littered my nightstand, bed, and floor. I shoved them all into the empty cardboard box and trudged to the bathroom to get another.

The act of moving helped. I was on a roll, so I brushed my teeth, then took the tissues back to bed. For the one hundred fifty dozenth time, I thought about the Palm & Fig. But this time, I allowed myself to get past watching Matty as he left me and the Big House and never looked back. Ransom left shortly after our argument, though he only left the premises. He remained parked on the street waiting for the ball to end.

While things didn’t get better after that, at least they didn’t get worse. Parker and her two cohorts sat at a bistro table near the side door to the mudroom. A server spotted them when she and two other servers took a break after all the plates had been cleared from the ballroom. Word got to Carla which spread to Rory and Zibby. Rather than panic and flee, Rory fixed dinner plates for the three of Sea Pine’s finest, including dessert, and thanked them for waiting. Zibby kept them company until Rory finished cleaning up with the rest of the crew somewhere around one thirty a.m. Luckily, the Ballantynes had retired upstairs before Rory left in handcuffs. Southern hospitality aside, that was not something any of us wanted to deal with in the middle of the night.

The morning boasted a crisp blue sky and overly bright sun, just like the fifteen mornings before it. So unfair. I’d write that in my diary, too. I didn’t want a happy day. I wanted the whole of the universe to match my blue mood with murky skies and no sunshine. After thirty minutes of cursing the weather and the sun and the diary I didn’t have, I got sick of myself. I grabbed Lexie’s iPad and decided to read her diary instead, randomly choosing reviews.

Product: Beige carpet cat scratching post (2 stars)

Title: Cat Fight

OMG the cats in the house are getting vicious. Scratching is the half of it. A whole litter of snapping felines vying for one stupid tom cat. I’m so over it. They can take it out on this and I can get some sleep.

Product: Calculator with adding tape (2 stars)

Title: Doesn’t 1 + 1 = 2?

I don’t remember the original figures. I didn’t pay attention to math when I was a kid. I’ll need more info to balance it out.

Five diary reviews later, I noticed something coincidental. Another reviewer’s name kept recurring. SeasTheDay57. I clicked on the name to view the profile. Over five hundred fifty reviews. All random products, just like Lexie’s. I scrolled through three pages. Just. Like. Lexie’s. In some instances, their reviews were back-to-back. I read one, then the other.

This wasn’t a diary, this was a conversation. Like serial killers talking to one another through personal ads in the newspaper. I flipped back to the cat scratching post review and found a review from SeasTheDay57 time-stamped five hours later:

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Beige carpet cat scratching post (4 stars)

Title: Cat Scratch Fever

Cats need something to take out their aggression, this will do the trick. Another thing that will do the trick: ignore the cats. And if they aren’t yours and you’re moving soon, just hang in there. Like those cute cat posters say. Remember their aggression isn’t aimed at you!

I sorted by date and went back to the first entry. I opened a new window and did the same thing for SeasTheDay57. The same week, they both left a review for name tags. Lexie’s was first.

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Sticker name badges with Hello printed on them (3 stars)

Title: Breaking the ice

It’s awkward introducing yourself to someone you’ve never met or reintroducing to someone you haven’t seen in a long time. These stickers make it easier. Put on your name and walk up to anyone. Gives you courage to go first: Hi, I’m a classically trained dancer and I live in an apartment with three roommates near my college.

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Sticker name badges with Hello printed on them (5 stars)

Title: Make new friends

I’ve never been so happy to see Hello My Name Is badges! I was very relieved to see them when I went to a work event. I could just say, it’s nice to meet you. I love the outdoors and hope to soon move closer to the ocean.

The first hundred or so reviews were pleasant conversation. Nothing too personal, nothing overly familiar. Getting to know one another. Like a date. Was this some kind of new way to date online?

Halfway into the second hundred, things slowly got more personal. Lexie wrote:

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Wooden Christmas nutcracker ornament (5 stars)

Title: An annual tradition

I bought these as gifts for my entire troupe who will be performing
The Nutcracker
the week before Christmas. It’s a must see! I’m lucky to have an extra ticket for any night so someone special can join me.

The single tickets! It’s always the tiniest oddball piece that puts the puzzle together. Even though I hadn’t yet put the puzzle together, I knew this was key. Lexie bought tickets for SeasTheDay57 and they were going to meet for the first time at
The Nutcracker
. My guess: Lexie wasn’t sure which night, so she got one for each night, just in case.

Questions flew into my mind like baseballs from an automatic pitching machine. And they came faster and faster. Did SeasTheDay57 show up early? Was SeasTheDay57 stalking Lexie? Did SeasTheDay57 kill Lexie? Did SeasTheDay57 kill other people? Was he a pedophile? A serial killer? Who was SeasTheDay57? Did Lexie know SeasTheDay57? Did I know SeasTheDay57?

I threw off the covers and ran downstairs. I was starving and foggy and needed to get it together. I downed an ice cold Pepsi, which is not as pleasant as it sounds. Those bubbles burn after seven swallows. I dumped cereal into a bowl, splashed milk on top, and shovel ate it over the sink.

Humming and vibrating on adrenaline, caffeine, and sugar, I raced upstairs and snatched up the iPad and my notebook and flew downstairs to my desk. My desktop took roughly five hours to boot up, so I pushed the monitor out of the way, nearly toppling my tiny tree, and worked on the iPad.

I pulled out details from review entries going back to the beginning, which was six months earlier. The get to know you entries lasted about three months. Then they slowly became less reserved, less formal. More off the cuff and real emotions broke through.

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Winnie the Pooh Book (5 stars)

Title: Back to Pooh Corner

I loved Winnie Piglet!! I remember carrying them both everywhere I went (as if they were one: Winnie Piglet). I think I got them the second I was born and I still have them. They sleep on my pillow when I’m away, keeping my room warm and each other company so they don’t get lonely without me.

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Winnie the Pooh Book (5 stars)

Title: A Hundred Acre Wood

Oh how my daughter loved them! I read this book to her as a baby, every night. The stuffed animals were actually a first birthday present and they were inseparable, all three. It makes me so happy to see this!!

SeasTheDay57 wasn’t a serial killer or a stalker or an online dater. She was Lexie’s mother.

And then I got to the October ninth entry. SeasTheDay57 posted a loving review for a pair of opal earrings, citing it was her favorite birthday month. Delicate ones with tiny diamonds. They weren’t ordinary stud earrings, but rather a tiny cluster shaped into a daisy of opals. Opal, the October birthstone (which I discovered after a quick Google search). The exact pair I saw Johnnie Mae wearing at the theatre the night Lexie died.

Johnnie Mae, who was overwhelmed with emotion that night. Who shook with grief when talking about losing her only child years ago. Eleven years ago, give or take. Like when the authorities arrested her for arson and put her daughter into foster care.

Could Johnnie Mae Tidwell really be Truby Falls, Lexie’s birth mother?

There were no profile pictures for SeasTheDay57. I went back to the Google tab and found two old photos of Truby from the newspaper. One was a candid the reporter probably got from a neighbor, the other was taken at the courthouse during the trial. The resemblance between Truby and Johnnie Mae was definitely there, but only if you were looking.

Truby Falls weighed a solid fifty pounds more. In the candid shot, her curly hair was bleached to near straw texture and her skin was tanned like saddle leather. She held a drink in one hand and was laughing at something off-camera.

Johnnie Mae was thin, almost too thin, with pale skin and gray hair pulled into a bun. Her eyes were plain brown, but they were the same. Her smile was probably the same, too, but I’d never seen Johnnie Mae smile. I wasn’t sure anyone had. Prison changed her appearance to the point of unrecognizability. And she used it to hide in plain sight.

I continued reading the entries, but with a new perspective. And with that perspective came clarity. And urgency. During the last month, the entries stacked up multiple items in the same day. The conversation ping-ponged from product to product. Lexie and Johnnie Mae knew what they were talking about, but I struggled to follow along. I took frantic notes, scribbling and reading, then scribbling more. Johnnie Mae wrote about the evidence against her, or at least I thought so.

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Calculator with adding tape (2 stars)

Title: Audit Season

It never added up to me. I didn’t believe I’d make such a mistake, and after I cleared my head and focused on things, I started keeping better records. It was too late to change the outcome, it had already been filed, but I had to double check and find the correct result.

Which brought me to the entry from Lexie I read earlier:

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Calculator with adding tape (2 stars)

Title: Doesn’t 1 + 1 = 2?

I don’t remember the original figures. I didn’t pay attention to math when I was a kid. I’ll need more info to balance it out.

Johnnie Mae began to spell it out:

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Clear nail polish (1 star)

Title: Choosing the perfect color

Like in photo #1, I loved clear. And a particular clear. My favorite color, at least then, was clear. So clear it looked like a tempting drink. Never went for the neutrals like amber or butterscotch. And I mean never! Not even if I chipped something or was desperate. I stuck with clear. Spent every night with that bottle and I never strayed. You like what you like. And the clear doesn’t smell like the other colors. To see a pic of my table with amber polish is definitely wrong.

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Clear nail polish (1 star)

Title: I see it but not sure I believe it

A nice bottle of clear isn’t a good argument to stick with clear. Everyone tries something different. Where’s the fun and where’s the proof?

Johnnie Mae mentioned a photo, and Lexie replied she’d seen it. I made a note about crime scene photos. If her attorney, Hal English, sent the photos to Johnnie Mae, maybe she sent them on to Lexie. Talking booze? Vodka is clear, or gin. Saw “amber” on the table, out of place. A “tempting drink” that “doesn’t smell.” Definitely not talking about nail polish. It fit. Truby got drunk the night of the fire. A picture of the booze bottle would be evidence in the trial.

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Wicker chaise set (2 stars)

Title: Passing the time

For smokers like me who can’t smoke in the house, this is perfect for nights outside. I cannot light up inside. Ever. I lounge on my chaise with an ashtray and a pack on the side table. Check out photo #2 for a close look at what I mean. It’s called a habit for a reason and if you’re like me and love your nighttime naps you’ll need an outdoor chaise because you can’t smoke cigs on the living room sofa.

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Wicker chaise set (2 stars)

Title: Night under the stars

I remember nights outside like it was yesterday! This fits for me and the situation. Anything else wouldn’t work.

Reviewer: SeasTheDay57

Product: Glass footed dessert dishes (3 stars)

Title: Proof is in the pudding

Proper glassware choice is essential for entertaining. Photo #3 demonstrates how obviously awkward when you get it wrong. NEVER use glass outside. Plastic is the only choice. I understand making 1 mistake, but not 3.

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Glass footed dessert dishes (3 stars)

Title: Got them!

I’m a believer! Why can’t everyone see the truth in proper glassware?! I’m definitely going to tell my associates. We cannot let others think this is right!

Reviewer: LXinthekitchen

Product: Digital camera with stabilized zoom (5 stars)

Title: Clear as day!

The photos are clear and sharp and I see every detail even a hair out of place. Out of the 5 photos I have, the 5th really brings it together. If I were a professional with this amazing equipment, I would be able to change the world or at least my world. I’ve scene the evidence of detail and I’ll get Hal to reopen the box. You know people do wonders these days with evidence. Fingerprints, DNA. Imagine what I could do with a camera! Back in a flash!

Lexie must have called Hal, or at least intended to. She was barely coding her message for the last review. And it was her last review. Posted the day she died.

My brain was buzzing while my fingers scratched out notes.

Johnnie Mae wanted a relationship with her daughter. Somehow, she reached out from prison and Lexie was receptive. They set up the Amazon review communication channel so no one would know. Smart. According to Shirl, everyone hated Truby. Drunk of a mother who recklessly killed an innocent neighbor for an insurance payout.

Johnnie Mae served her time. She sobered up, slimmed down, and became a model prisoner. She also studied her own case and the evidence against her. Realized it was a setup. She didn’t set the fire or kill her neighbor. She explained it to her daughter, who did her own research.