Sweaters & Cigarettes (45 page)

As Theo opens his eyes, he's hit by
the realization that Max is simply
gorgeous.
Sure, he has always known
this, and he never really stops being awed by it, but this is different. Seeing
Max on top of him like this, moving and moaning, so obviously enjoying the
feeling of having Theo inside him, is more than he can really handle, and it's
after only a few seconds of watching him, that Theo suddenly sits up.

Max is a bit surprised, that much
is obvious. But he doesn't do a thing to stop Theo, as Theo wraps his arms
around him, one hand moving up to the back of Max's head, so that he can keep
him in place, as he kisses him. Instead, Max keeps moving, reciprocates by
grabbing onto Theo, who then surprises them both, by falling back down onto his
back, and taking Max with him.

Theo isn't entirely sure what he's
doing. This just feels so good, so
unbelievably
good, and he firmly
places one hand against the small of Max's back, his other arm pinning Max
against him by pressing against his shoulder blades. Max is stunned, in lack of
a better word, when Theo then suddenly uses all of his weight to simply roll
over, taking Max with him, so that Max ends up on his back. Theo is vaguely
grateful that his bed is big enough; it would have been quite the mood-killer
if they had just rolled over the edge.

Max's blue eyes are wide, with an
expression that's as blatantly shocked as it is aroused, as Theo looks down at
him. The two of them are still firmly locked together, Theo's arms slowly
loosening their grip around his boyfriend, and he's oddly pleased to find that
he managed this whole thing while only just barely pulling out. He's still
inside Max, still inside that glorious, tight heat, and he swallows hard,
moving one hand to trail down along Max's thigh, and he slowly pushes inside
until he bottoms out again.

"Holy shit." Max's
stunned, intoxicated murmur is barely audible, and as Theo uses his hand to
hitch his leg up slightly, Max actually grabs onto his hair and brings Theo's
mouth down to his own. The kiss is burning and impatient, and Theo groans, as
he slowly, almost tentatively, starts thrusting.

How the hell did this happen? How
the hell did he end up like this, pinning Max down and pushing into him, rather
than lying on his back and letting Max do his own, amazing thing? Theo has no
idea. But right now, that's the last thing on his mind. Instead, he fights the
impulse to just pound into Max, hard and fast; that's not how he wants to do
this. He wants to make it last, he doesn't want to hurt him, and he tries to
think of how Max usually does it, how he does it slowly and deeply, at first,
before speeding up. And as Theo implements this, he notices, with great
satisfaction, that he's apparently doing it right.

At least, judging from the way Max
moans against his mouth, breathing heavily, one hand gripping Theo's hair so
tightly it almost hurts, and the other practically digging its nails into Theo's
back. It's like he's surprised at the intensity of his own sensations, pulling
away from Theo's mouth to bury his face against his neck, moaning and breathing
hard and fast through gritted teeth, while Theo moves one hand up to pull his
fingers through that black, messy hair and hold Max against him. Max
practically clings to him, and it's when his breathing suddenly starts to
stutter, guttural moans slowly turning into quick, shallow breaths, that Theo
decides to pick up the pace.

Oh god.
It's like his entire body is burning, buzzing,
bursting with this onslaught of sensation, all of his focus zeroed in on the
way Max feels, body pressed against him, hot and tight around him, those
amazing, wonderful noises coming out of Max's mouth.

Theo pulls back a little bit, just
enough be able to put more force behind his thrusts, and he looks down at Max,
whose hands are now desperately smoothing over Theo's body, aimlessly, mouth
half-open and eyes slightly wide, chest heaving rapidly. Theo can barely even
comprehend how hot it is, and when Max suddenly tenses up, his entire body
going rigid, Theo feels that tight heat constrict around him, making him
actually gasp.

And just like that, Max is coming,
expression blissed-out and beautiful, and Theo feels his hips starting to
stutter, as he thrusts once, twice, before freezing and being simply
overwhelmed by his own amazing, white-hot release. It seems that making Max
come was all he needed; he's not even sure if it's the physical sensation of it
or the emotional one, but either way, it definitely did the trick.

When it's over, Theo doesn't
actually move for several seconds. He's too busy marveling at how incredibly,
fucking
amazing
this is. All of it. Every moment, every breath, every
touch, and every single awkward, uncoordinated movement. Just...

Sex
. Just
sex
―sex with
Max
―is
the most mind-blowing, remarkable thing. Theo can't believe how he was ever
even slightly averse to the idea of it. He can't really imagine ever
not
doing
this, ever
not
feeling Max against him this way, hot and flushed,
muscles limp with utter and complete satisfaction.

Perfect.

When Max suddenly makes a noise,
Theo is pretty sure he's trying to say something, even though it only comes out
as a small, exhausted moan, and Theo pulls back a little, practically collapsed
on top of his boyfriend. He holds himself up with his arms, so that he can look
at Max, properly.

Max looks oddly stunned, lips
slightly parted and dark blue eyes dazed, as they gaze toward the ceiling,
rather than Theo's face.

"Huh?" Theo asks, his
voice a tired breath. And Max blinks, swallowing dryly. He looks positively
shocked, at this point.

"Fuck," he eventually
says, breathlessly. "Jesus fucking christ."

Theo swallows hard, suddenly oddly
worried.

"Was that―" he
starts, before trying again, his breathing still kind of heavy. He tries not to
sound too self-conscious or nervous, but he doesn't really succeed. "Was
that okay?"

Max exhales sharply, almost in
disbelief.

"Well," he says, still
completely breathless. "It may have been the hottest sex I've ever had, in
my life."

He turns his gaze to Theo, then.

"So, yeah," he says.
"It was okay."

Theo's immediate reaction of
pleased shock is quickly mingled with doubt, and he frowns, disbelievingly.

"Really?" he says,
sounding more confused than he intended, and Max exhales slowly.

"Really," he confirms,
slowly trailing along the hot skin of Theo's arm, which is tensed up and nearly
shaking. "I mean, you taking charge, like that."

He eyes Theo's naked chest, his
arms, and he scoffs, with a small, affectionate smirk.

"You keep surprising me,"
he says. "I like that."

He looks back up at Theo, blue eyes
sinful and sly.

"It's unbelievably hot, you
know."

As a matter of fact, no, Theo
doesn't know that. But then again, he loves it when Max does that, so maybe
it's not such a surprise that Max agrees.

Still, though. Theo has never seen
himself as that type of person, before. The type of person to just take control
like that, and in bed, no less.

"Well, I'm glad to hear
it," Theo says, giving Max a light kiss, and Max hums.

"How did you learn to do that
so well, anyway?" he asks, eyes narrowed in mock suspicion, but with a
hint of genuine curiosity. And Theo glances away, suddenly a little
embarrassed.

"From you," he admits in
a reluctant murmur, referring to the technique he just used, and Max looks
genuinely surprised, before smiling.

"Well damn, I am good, aren't
I?" He says it in a blatantly smug way, and Theo glares at him. He can't
keep that expression for more than a moment, though, before it's erased by a
smile, and he kisses Max, slowly and adoringly.

"Yes, you are."

Chapter 29

Dance

"You're kidding!"

Cassie sounds blatantly shocked, but
after a moment, her entire expression takes on a hint of sympathy, as she looks
at Theo.

"No," Theo says, fiddling
with a pen between his fingers. "I wish I were."

They're sitting in the living room at
Theo's house, trying to get some studying done, and Theo has just told her
about what he learned from Max the other day; Max is leaving, moving away, just
a month from now.

"But that's bullshit,"
Cassie exclaims. "They can't do that!"

Theo huffs a bitter laugh.

"That's what I said," he
says. "Doesn't seem to matter, though."

It's not that he and Max haven't
tried to think of a solution. Theo even brought it up with his parents, albeit
very carefully, but didn't even try to ask if Max could stay with them. He
knows that they would say no. He just knows, and honestly, he can't blame them.
And as far as the living-together-idea goes, that's a bust, as well.

"You know what," Cassie
says after a while, pointing at Theo with her pen. "We should get a place
together. All three of us. It could be like a sitcom-type deal."

Theo chuckles.

"That does sound
awesome," he admits. "But the issue of actually
paying
for it
still stands. None of us have jobs, and no potential of actually getting one
that pays well enough, until after graduation. It's just not doable. It sucks,
but it's the truth."

Cassie thinks about that for a
moment, before groaning loudly and falling back onto the couch. She's sitting
cross-legged, facing Theo, which leaves a large stretch of furniture behind her
to fall back on. And when she lands, she lightly punches the cushions, in
irritation.

"It's not fair," she
says. "Whatever happened to 'true love prevails', and all that crap?"

Theo raises his eyebrows a little.

"Who's taking this
harder," he says, knowing his lack of anger is simply because he has
started getting used to the idea, "me or you?"

Cassie groans again, dramatically
covering her face with her arm.

"I can't help it," she
says. "I'm a hopeless romantic. Your pain is my pain."

"Yeah, well," Theo says,
nudging her leg slightly with his pen. "I'm not the one going all Scarlett
O'Hara about it."

"You should," Cassie
replies in a tired, dramatically broken voice. "It's very cathartic."

"I can see that."

Cassie lifts her arm so she can
look at her friend, who simply raises his eyebrows at her, before she sighs and
sits back up. She slouches a little.

"I'm sorry," she says,
combing through her hair with her fingers, the red strands messed up from being
pressed against the couch's cushions. "It just sucks, you know? I mean, I
know how you guys feel about each other, and you've been through a lot of shit,
already. Just seems unfair that you should be separated, after all that."

Theo sighs, looking down at the
notepad in his lap and tapping it with his pen.

"Yeah," he says solemnly.
"I wish there was something we could do about it, but I'm pretty sure
we're fucked, in that department."

Cassie huffs a small laugh, and
Theo looks up at her.

"What?" he says, but she
just shakes her head.

"Nothing," she says.
"Just still not quite used to you actually cussing."

Theo gives her a small glare,
before smiling a little.

"Blame Max," he says,
looking back down at his notes, and as he thinks about his boyfriend, there's now
some dread and sadness mixed in, along with the fuzzy happiness.

Cassie seems to notice, and she
nudges him gently.

"Hey," she says, and he
looks up at her. "It'll work out. Everything's gonna be fine."

Theo sighs a little, fully aware
that it doesn't sound any more convincing, coming from Cassie, rather than
himself. But still, he appreciates the effort.

"Speaking of," he says
lightly, in a desperate attempt at changing the subject. "How's your love
life going?"

Cassie groans a little, looking
down and picking at the corner of her notepad.

"I don't know," she says,
referring to Emma. "I mean, I took your advice. I kissed her, and she
kissed me back, and it was... awesome."

She gets a dreamy look on her face
for a moment, before sobering up.

"But I don't know," she
repeats. "I really like her, I'm just not sure I'm
feeling
it, you
know?"

Theo nods.

"Yeah, I get it," he
says.

"I mean, maybe we're just not
meant to be," Cassie says, shrugging. "She's amazing, though, and we
have so much fun together."

"Well, maybe you're just
better off as friends, then?" he suggests, and Cassie shrugs again.

"Yeah, maybe," she says.
"Just a little bummed about it, I guess. But we'll see. Who knows, right?
Maybe I'll even ask her to the dance."

Theo frowns, then.

"Dance?" he asks.
"What dance?"

"The Winter Dance,"
Cassie replies, as though Theo is a little stupid for not being aware of it.
"You know, next week?"

Theo racks his brain, before
shaking his head, and Cassie sighs in exasperation.

"Really?" she says.
"There are flyers, all over school. How can you have missed it?"

Theo shrugs.

"It's every year," Cassie
points out. "Every winter."

"Well, I've never exactly had
reason to go, now have I?" Theo retorts. "A year ago, I was pretty
much invisible, remember? The Winter Dance was kinda the last thing on my
mind."

Cassie cocks her head, a slightly
apologetic look on her face.

"Sorry," she says.
"But you must have noticed it?"

Theo shrugs.

"Honestly," he says,
"I just stayed away from all of that. It was only after Michael and I
started hanging out that I even really noticed it was a thing. You know, seeing
as how girls would constantly come up and ask him about it."

Theo isn't lost on the obvious
trace of bitterness in his voice, and neither is Cassie.

"Well," she says, a
conspiring edge to her voice. "At least you've got someone to ask, this
time."

Theo frowns at her.

"Who, Max?" he asks
incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Cassie says,
shrugging, as though she's personally offended at Theo's tone. "Why not?"

"Can you even imagine him
going to a
dance
?" Theo points out. "Because I can't."

"Well, if you ask
him―"

"I'm not going to," Theo
says, cutting her off. "I'm not about to put him through that."

Cassie pouts a little.

"You could always just ask
him," she says, but Theo just gives her a look.

"Don't get me wrong," he
says, "I'd like to go. If nothing else, because he's leaving soon, and it
would be... I don't know,
fun
. Nice."

He sighs.

"But I'm pretty sure he
wouldn't want to," he says. "And I'm not about to guilt-trip him into
it, by asking."

Theo looks down at his notepad,
scratching the back of his head with his pen.

"So, yeah," he says.
"Let's just drop it, okay?"

And Cassie, being the good friend
that she is, drops it. Instead, they focus on their homework, while Theo tries
not to think about the fact that Max will only be around for a few more weeks,
and the way just the thought of that makes his heart sink.

♦

Cassie isn't the only one sad about Max moving away.
When Riley hears the news, Theo is surprised at how bummed he is about it, and
even Amy seems sad. Eric, however, doesn't say much about anything; he barely
ever even mentions Max, as though the whole thing still makes him
uncomfortable, and generally, he isn't around whenever Max visits their house.

And Max's visits have become a bit
more frequent, lately. Theo suspects it's because he doesn't want to be home,
right now. His parents still work a lot, and still work late, and especially
his dad goes away for a couple of days at a time, to set up for his new
position at the company he works at, while Max's mother has taken time off more
often to prepare for the move.

"She's already started
packing," Max explains, as he lies on his back, on Theo's bed, tossing Theo's
miniature Mjölnir between his hands. "She even seems excited about it.
They both do."

He sighs, and Theo watches him from
his desk, where he has been sitting for the past half-hour, finishing some
homework.

"And they still don't get why
I'm pissed." Max sounds simultaneously annoyed and tired, and he closes
his eyes for a moment. "I swear, I feel like I wanna kill something."

Theo doesn't immediately reply. He
can't say that he doesn't share Max's sentiments, because he most definitely
does. It's just that where Max is still in the stage of anger, Theo has started
slipping into the sad stage, where he just feels heavy and full of empty
sorrow, at the very thought of Max going away.

Max stops tossing the tiny hammer
between his hands and instead flops it down onto the bed, where it bounces a
little, before settling against the sheets. And Theo gets up from where he
sits, sighing as he makes his way over there.

"Hey," he says, and Max
opens his eyes, squinting up at his boyfriend. "Not in the house. If you're
gonna kill something, go outside, where you're less likely to make a mess my
mom will hate you for."

Max just blinks, before his face
breaks into a soft, almost dopey smile.

"I'll keep that in mind,"
he says, and Theo tentatively smiles back, as Max reaches up and takes his
hand. He doesn't even have to ask, for Theo to crawl into bed with him, curling
him by his side and placing his head against his chest, and for several
seconds, they just lie there. Max's fingers trace circles into the fabric of Theo's
t-shirt, and Theo takes a deep breath, inhaling that wonderful, familiar scent
that makes him feel all warm and happy and safe. He barely notices the way he
automatically moves his hand across Max's stomach, searching for his touch, and
Max immediately obliges, lacing their fingers together.

"I really don't want you to
go," Theo suddenly says, a little embarrassed at how downright pathetic he
sounds. But Max doesn't seem to think so. And if he does, he doesn't mention
it, instead just sighing softly as he plants a kiss on the top of Theo's head.

"And I really don't want
to," he says, before they lapse back into silence, the only sound being
their steady breathing, and the vague noise of the TV, downstairs; Theo can barely
hear it, through the closed door of his room.

"Hey," Max says after a
little while, nudging his boyfriend. "I talked to Cassie."

"Yeah?" Theo says, and
Max nods; he can feel it.

"Yeah," he confirms.
"She told me you guys hung out the other day. And she told me about a
certain Winter Dance..."

He says it a bit hesitantly, and
Theo glances up at him. Those dark blue, black-lined eyes look a little
questioning, their expression pointed, and Theo sighs, settling back against
Max's chest.

"What about it?" he asks,
and Max shifts a little.

"Well," he says, that
hesitance still in his voice. "She told me that you didn't want to ask
me."

"Only because I knew you
wouldn't want to go," Theo points out, trying not to sound like a douche
about it. Then he pauses, thinking. "Why? Did you... Did you want
to?"

He asks it with pretty obvious
apprehension, and Max sighs, half-shrugging awkwardly, as well as he can, with
Theo resting against him.

"Maybe," he finally says.
"I mean, sure, I'm not a big fan of dances and stuff like that, but... I'm
leaving soon, and..."

He clears his throat a little.

"Feels like maybe we should
go," he says. "You know, if you want to."

Theo blinks, honestly surprised,
and he looks up at Max.

"Really?" he says,
frowning a little, and Max looks blatantly awkward, and maybe even a little
shy.

"Yeah," he says, before
continuing in some haste, as though trying to fix any awkwardness he may have
just caused. "But only if you want to. Either way, I get it. It's
fine."

Theo thinks about that for a moment,
and then shifts a little, propping himself up on his elbow, so that he can look
at Max, properly.

"You'd go to a dance with
me?" he says, sounding doubtful and confused, at the same time. "A
school
dance?"

Max glances away, almost rolling
his eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry I brought it
up, I just―"