SWEET ANTICIPATION (16 page)

But what bothered her the most was that not once since that Saturday evening had he suggested they get married again. It was as if he had never discussed the subject with her. She certainly didn’t want to be the one to bring it up because she was still having mixed feelings about the whole matter and she didn’t want him to think she was trying to push him into marriage. But as the days stretched into weeks and June fifteenth drew nearer and nearer, she began to suspect that he had tricked her again.

What if he had proposed to her to make her believe that he wanted to avoid hurting her with a legal battle, so that she would drop her guard and begin to trust him? Or even worse, what if he were actually trying to make her fall in love with him so that she would be putty in his hands when it came time to decide the baby’s future? Thank goodness, she had not let herself fall into that trap.

There were so many things about Jordan that she liked, especially the way he made her feel cherished and protected whenever he was with her. And, of course, she was very attracted to him physically. But she didn’t think she was actually in love with him. She believed that all her feelings were, as he had said, caused by overactive hormones and would probably disappear after the baby was born and her system settled back to normal. But she also believed that even though she didn’t love him, they could still make their marriage work. After all, many of the married people she knew didn’t have as much in common as she and Jordan.

The only thing she wished she could make herself do was to trust him. She couldn’t shake the sneaking suspicion that he was going to avoid setting a wedding date until after the baby was born and the blood tests confirmed his paternity. If he was the father, then he would already have her acceptance and could go ahead with the ceremony. But if he wasn’t the father, then he could leave her without a legal problem.

With the exception of the elusive engagement, when June fifteenth finally arrived, Lauren felt she had her life in as good order as she possibly could get it. Her suitcase was packed and sitting by her bedroom door. All of the shop’s and her own bills had been paid and her business affairs had been arranged to run smoothly in her brief absence. She had given her house an extra good cleaning, including her stove and refrigerator so that her mother wouldn’t be able to accuse her of being sloppy. Her parents were waiting by their telephone for her call, after which they would finish packing their recreational vehicle and make the four-hour drive from Corpus Christi to Houston.

Lauren knew that babies rarely were born on their due date, but she couldn’t help but be disappointed when she was still pregnant by the end of that day. Jordan tried to cheer her up, but at this point she didn’t want to listen to reason; she just wanted to get it over with. She was tired of being so huge that she had trouble getting out of chairs or into bed. She was sick of all the maternity clothes she had thought were so pretty when she had picked them out months ago, and she was depressed that not even her loosest pants and blouses fit well anymore. Never in her life had she felt so awkward, uncomfortable and completely unattractive. It was no wonder that Jordan didn’t want to marry her now.

And after so many months of feeling the baby growing inside her, she was anxious to hold her baby in her arms, to see its precious face and count all of its fingers and toes. But as much as she wanted to have the baby, she was afraid that once he was born she would lose Jordan forever. As long as there was some doubt about the baby’s parentage, she had time to find out what Jordan’s real feelings were for her …and what her own feelings were for him.

Lauren knew there was nothing consistent about her emotions right now. One minute she was suspicious of Jordan’s motives and the next, she was wanting him to hold her and kiss her and tell her he would love her forever and ever. But regardless of how she felt about him at any given moment, she no longer wished he had never entered her life. She was grateful for the excitement and happiness he had brought back into her lonely existence and she couldn’t bear the thought of how empty it would be if he were to leave.

Friday, she was four days overdue and very restless. She waddled around the shop for half a day until Rita insisted she go home, get some rest and prop her feet up. But after watching a couple of game shows and a soap opera, Lauren got bored with this life of leisure and decided to fix something special for dinner that night. Rummaging through her kitchen, she got out all the ingredients for chicken enchiladas. While the chicken was boiling, she cut up some lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and red cabbage for a salad. When the chicken was ready, she picked all the meat off the bones, seasoned it and wrapped it in corn tortillas. After topping those with a melted jalapeno cheese mixture, she put the tray into the oven.

A glance at her clock told her that Jordan should arrive any minute. If she hurried she would have just enough time to stir up a batch of brownies for dessert. As she was pouring the thick chocolate batter into a greased pan, he knocked at the door and walked inside without waiting for her to answer it.

“How are you feeling today, pretty mama?” he asked, moving up to stand behind her and wrapping his arms around her expanded waist. “Is our baby showing signs of putting in an appearance anytime soon?”

“I wish,” Lauren sighed. “But all that I’ve felt today is exhaustion. If I don’t have this baby soon, I think I’m going to explode—literally.” She gave him a weary smile as she turned her head to return his kiss.

“You must have also felt pretty energetic,” he commented, taking a deep appreciative sniff. “Are those chicken enchiladas I smell? And brownies, too? Hmm, I’m starving. I hated to miss lunch with you today, but I was snowed under at the lab. I vaguely remember eating a bag of stale potato chips and drinking a cola.”

“It sounds like you’re beginning to pick up some of my poor eating habits,” she said with a chuckle. “Well, as usual, your sixth sense is right on target. You’re just in time to help me lick the spoon. And the enchiladas should be ready in about five minutes. You have just enough time to set the table and—oh—” She stopped in mid sentence and leaned against the counter, her hands pressing against her lower abdomen as her eyes widened in excitement and alarm.

“Sure, I’ll set the table as soon as—Lauren? Did you have a pain?”

“Yes, I think so. Oh, please don’t let this be false labor,” she prayed aloud. “I’m so sick of being fat and clumsy.”

“Why don’t you sit down and I’ll start timing your contractions,” he suggested, barely able to contain his own excitement as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders as if she had suddenly become incredibly fragile, and helped her walk into the living room. He fussed over her, propping pillows behind her back and under her feet until she shooed him away.

“I hear the buzzer on the oven. Why don’t you get the chicken enchiladas out before they burn? Oh, and there’s a salad ready in the refrigerator. Just turn on the television and I’ll stay in here and watch
Wheel of Fortune
while you eat dinner. I’ll be just fine.”

“Are you kidding? I won’t be able to eat anything,” he replied, his eyes sparkling in anticipation.

“If you don’t eat those enchiladas after all the trouble I took to fix them, you’re going to really hurt my feelings. Besides, you might not get anything else to eat tonight except stale cheese crackers from a vending machine at the hospital.

Jordan was too nervous to eat, but he didn’t want to upset Lauren. “Okay, I’ll eat, but I’ll fix us both a plate and we’ll eat in here.”

“You know I can’t eat anything now that I might be in labor.”

“Oh, right. I knew that,” he muttered, raking his hair off his forehead with shaking fingers. Obediently he went into the kitchen, got the enchiladas out of the oven and turned it off. He lifted a few of them onto a plate and shoveled them into his mouth as soon as they were cool enough to eat, then rushed back into the living room. “Okay, I’ve eaten,” he said as he wiped his mouth and tried to catch his breath. “Now back to business.”

His gaze rested on Lauren who was reclining against her nest of pillows, a Madonna-like smile playing around her soft pink lips. He balanced on the edge of the couch, facing her. Reaching out he let the tip of his index finger outline the curve of her mouth. “Do you realize that you and I are about to become parents? In just a few hours, we will actually be able to see our baby.”

But a few hours turned out to be a mild estimate. When her pains were five minutes apart, Jordan loaded her and her suitcase into his car and drove the short distance to the hospital. Dr. Reese met them there and, after giving her an examination, assigned her to a labor room.

At first Jordan and Lauren were buoyed by their anticipation. But by noon the next day, after she had been in labor for almost eighteen hours, they were both physically and emotionally near the breaking point. Through it all, he never left her side, helping her breathe and letting her squeeze his hands during her contractions. He kept up a running chatter trying to keep her mind off her pain while he wiped her face with a cool wet washcloth.

“Jordan, how much longer?” she gasped weakly. “It hurts so much. Can’t they give me something for the pain?”

“They’ve given you as much as they can, sweetheart. We don’t want to drug the baby, too. Just hang in there. He should be here soon.”

She tensed as another spasm shot through her. “That’s what you said six hours ago,” she said through clenched teeth. “There must be something wrong.”

Jordan checked the fetal monitor and saw that the baby was tiring too, but not dangerously. Still, he felt uneasy about Lauren’s condition and as soon as Dr. Reese stopped by and completed another examination, Jordan walked with him out into the hallway.

“Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?” he asked the older man. “She can’t take much more.”

“I know, I know.” Dr. Reese shook his head and frowned. “The baby is in the correct position and Lauren’s fully dilated and doing everything she possibly can, but the—”

“Doctor, come quickly,” a nurse called as she burst through the doorway and into the hall. “Mrs. Nelson is hemorrhaging and the baby’s vital signs are falling into distress.”

“Get her into the operating room, stat, and tell the anesthesiologist to meet us there. I’ll contact the lab and get them to have some blood ready. She’s probably going to need a transfusion.” Dr. Reese barked out orders as he headed toward the scrubbing area. “Jordan, you’d better get scrubbed, too, if you plan to observe the birth. Lauren’s going to need you in there for emotional support.”

Jordan hesitated, wanting to run back into the room and see what was happening to Lauren, but knowing also that he needed to hurry and scrub if he wanted to go into the operating room with her. At that moment, an orderly wheeled Lauren out on a gurney and rushed by without stopping, but Jordan was able to notice that Lauren’s eyes were closed and she looked deathly pale.

Never had he scrubbed so quickly. Although it seemed like hours to him, it was actually only a few minutes before he was standing next to Lauren in the operating room. He leaned over her, hoping that she hadn’t already been anesthetized so he could speak to her just once more before the operation. Gently his lips brushed across hers as he whispered her name. When her thick dark eyelashes fluttered on her ashen cheeks and her eyelids opened, he almost cried with relief.

“Jordan?” she breathed so softly that he barely heard her. “Stay… with me … please.”

“Lauren, honey, I’m right here and I promise I won’t leave you. There have been a few complications. I’m going to be here with you while they deliver our baby, but we’re going to have to put you to sleep for a while. When you wake up, everything will all be over and just fine. But right now we’re going to have to hurry.”

The anesthesiologist had been preparing an injection, which he inserted into the intravenous line that was taped to her arm. “Mrs. Nelson, take a deep breath and start counting backward from one hundred,” he instructed.

“Jordan,” she said, her eyes suddenly clearing as she stared directly into his face. “If anything should happen to me, you’ll take good care of the baby, won’t you?”

“You know I would, but nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re strong and healthy. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t make it through this with flying colors,” he rushed to assure her. “Besides, you know I would never let anything bad happen to either of you.”

“And Jordan … I’ve never told you this … I want you to know that I …” But before she could finish, her voice faded away and her eyelids drifted shut.

Alarmed, Jordan looked up at the anesthesiologist who was taking her pulse.

“She’s out,” the man announced, laying her arm down beside her before he sat on a stool in front of his monitoring equipment.