Sweet Reflection (3 page)

“Yeah there’s been some tough times but hopefully this is the end of all the shit. Cassie, it’s such amazing news, I’m so happy for you.” I get up to give her another hug and something catches the light. “Oh. My. God. I cannot believe I forgot about the ring. Let me see.” She slowly lifts up her hand to show me and it’s the biggest stone I’ve ever seen. I whistle and raise an eyebrow, “You won’t be able to miss that. It’s huge. Must have cost a fortune.”

She nods, “Yeah I know. Blake says he wants everyone to know I’m taken. I think ‘everyone’ means every guy I come into contact with.”

“That sounds like him. Tiffany’s?”

“Yeah.”

“Show-off.” I nudge her and we fall back down onto the sofa laughing.

“Laurel, serious moment?” She asks me.

“Shoot.” I reply.

“You were there for me through everything last year and I’m so grateful you welcomed me back into your life and forgave me for how I treated you.” She smiles sadly, I know she still feels guilty for what happened when her parents died. We had been best friends in school, completely inseparable, but when her parents were killed in a car crash four years ago, she withdrew from everyone close to her including me, then moved to London without even saying goodbye. Thankfully she came back to help out her grandmother, and we have rebuilt our friendship.

She takes a deep breath in and grabs my hand, “Will you be my Chief Bridesmaid?” She asks tentatively. I have no idea why she looks so hesitant, like I could say no to her.

“Of course I will.” I squeal. “I get to plan the hen do right?”

She grins and nods feverishly.

“Good. And I know what you’ll say to this, but I’m not taking no for an answer. I want to give you your dress as a wedding present. Don’t be shy about telling me what you want. If I haven’t got the perfect one in, I’ll find it for you.”

“No Laurel, it’s an amazing offer, thank you, but it’s too much. I can’t let you do that. Of course I’ll get it from you but I can pay for it.”

Her voice is adamant but she’s not the only one who’s stubborn. “Forget about paying for it. I won’t take your money Cassie. What good is a best friend with a bridal shop if she can’t do her bit for your wedding? And any planning you want help with, I’ve got a lot of contacts so just let me know.”

“Well the planning part I might take you up on but as for the dress, I just can’t.”

I know I’ll get my way eventually so I just tell her we’ll discuss it another day. We carry on talking for another hour about ideas and venues then agree to meet up tomorrow night for a few drinks with the gang. She says
everyone
will be there, and clearly there’s someone in particular she is talking about.

“Laurel, what’s going on with you and James?” She’s watching carefully for my reaction so I need to make sure my usual mask is up to standard. I knew she was going to bring it up soon. I’ve been trying to avoid it for ages. When James and I are in the same room, there’s tension, and not just a little bit. It’s the kind where a knife just wouldn’t do the job; you’d need a chainsaw. We haven’t spoken about those two significant nights since they happened, so the air hasn’t been cleared. It’s just been swept under the rug and we have this unspoken rule that it doesn’t get mentioned. He still sleeps with his little tramps and I still have my moments.

I rounded the corner and stopped abruptly when I saw James talking to Chantelle. He’d brought another one of his groupies to Blake’s parents’ party. They held it every year at their sprawling mansion for the workers at the construction company and their families. They were talking quietly but I could still hear, the music wasn’t too loud up here. I couldn’t decide whether to walk away completely or hide and listen. They hadn’t seen me, so in the end I opted for listening. I know, it was nosy, but I was intrigued.

“I just don’t like her.” Her voice was shrill. She was looking up at him and I could tell they were fake tears hanging on to her fake eyelashes.

“You don’t even know her Chell. You don’t have to like her.” There was frustration in his tone. I bet the last thing he wanted was to have to stand in a corridor placating his bit for the night. He wanted fun. And this wasn’t it.

“I know. But she wants you. I can tell. I don’t like the way she looks at you, and I think you look at her in the same way. I don’t like you spending time with her.”

“For God’s sake, we don’t even spend any time together. Laurel and I are friends, she doesn’t want me the way you’re thinking. Quit the crying. It’s so damn unattractive.” Oh crap, they were talking about me! We were friends, really? When did that happen? I must have missed the memo. He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and sighed heavily.

“Look, go sort yourself out and then we’ll get another drink okay? I got plans for us tonight.” He winked at her and she forgot all about me, stopped whining and giggled as she strolled through to the bathroom.

“What are you doing there, silly? Toilets are at the back.” Cassie and her loud voice sure had the worst timing in the world. James peered round the corner and his eyes widened when he saw me. That was fucking awkward.

“I don’t need it anymore. I’ll see you back out there, Cass.”

I turned and walked away as quickly as my heels would allow.

We are just like each other really, and that’s probably the reason it won’t work. Opposites attract and all that.

I take in a deep breath. I can’t tell Cassie this. She overthinks things. She’ll overthink this and come to the conclusion that she should try and set us up.

“Dawson? Ha. Nothing at all. He irritates me. I irritate him. It’s all good. We both know that you love us so we just ignore each other.”

I shrug my shoulder hoping she gets the message; that I don’t want to talk about it.

She looks at me sceptically, “No you don’t ignore each other. You give each other dirty looks, make snide comments. I know you; you like him.” I do my best to hide my real feelings. I don’t even really know my real feelings actually so I guess that’s why I’m pretty convincing.

“Hey, would I be going out tonight with Sam if I had feelings for someone else?” Clearly I would, because I am; but hopefully this will make my story more solid. I wiggle my eyebrows and she forgets about James to grill me about my choice of date.

“Sam, as in the manager of the bank round the corner? Huh, I never pictured you with a suit.”

“I’m not getting married, it’s just a night out. He’s cute. I bet behind the glasses and that moody persona, he’s a tiger in the sack.” I burst out laughing at her eyes rolling back thinking this will deter her, but she goes again, “What about Ryan Murphy? What’s going on with him?”

Ryan’s a great friend. We’ve become really close in the past few months after having got together a while ago. He’ll make a lucky girl very happy someday. I shrug a shoulder again and purse my lips. “Nothing, he’s just a friend. I like him, and we get along great but Cassie, you know how I feel. Nothing serious. I had that, and the person I thought was perfect, turned out to be so far from it I can’t believe my judgement was so far off. I don’t trust men.” I also don’t trust myself now.

“They’re not all like Darren. I know he really hurt you, but you have to let someone in eventually.”

“No I don’t. I really don’t. I’m having fun. And Sam is going to be my fun for tonight. Don’t worry about me.” She has her hand on her hips, I’m not as convincing as I first thought. I don’t feel the words I say anymore. I’ve earned myself a reputation doing the things I do, and a bigger part of me grows more ashamed each time I wake up drunk in a stranger’s bed. I still do it though; I go out, have a few drinks, feel less inhibited, find a willing guy to go home with and wake up in his bed with a pounding headache. More often than not, they want my number but I don’t give it. I don’t get hurt because I have control and I set the rules.

“Of course I worry about you. It’s a best friend’s job. I just want you to be happy, Laurel. So if you say you are then so am I.” She glances at her watch and gets up from the sofa. “I better get going. Blake’s taking me to dinner tonight, and I have to get ready. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She reaches down to kiss my cheek and squeezes me goodbye.

After a brief stop at home to get changed, I head out to meet Sam. He’s waiting at the bar having bought me a glass of wine and the gesture reminds me of one James Dawson who I have been trying to forget. It’s funny, I’m not even bothered by Sam doing it, but when James had the nerve, I got so angry.

Sam looks good tonight, he’s given up the suit in favour of jeans. He’s attractive in that Auggie Anderson kind of way; geeky but hot. It must be the glasses and that personality trait I’m enticed by: arrogance. His mop of short dark curls falls forward over his forehead, and when he pushes them away he looks up and sees me walking towards him. He gets bonus points for rising from his barstool to greet me.

“Hi Sam.”

“Hey, looking good sweetheart.” I see his gaze linger slightly too long on my breasts so I know exactly what he’s thinking.

“Thank you.”

“Wanna get a booth?”

“Sure.” He leads the way to the back of the bar and we search for some privacy in between the many couples that seem to be out tonight and really going for it in the PDA department. The lights grow dimmer the further back we get and we pass each booth trying to make out whether they contain any moving bodies as we pass them. I spot one and Sam slides in first, bringing his arm up to lean on top of the seat as I slip in beside him.

“Busy in here tonight,” I say as I lean back against the cushion.

“Yeah, they’ve got some live music here soon. We can stay if you want or go somewhere a bit quieter?”

I turn my head to look at him with an eyebrow raised. “I’ve not even had a drink and already you’re trying to get me alone. You’re a fast mover aren’t you?” I’m under no pretences about why he’s here, because I’m here for the same reason.

“I try to be.” He replies, and his half-smile and heated gaze has me picking up my glass, ready to down it so we just leave already. My thoughts are interrupted by a high-pitched, drowns-everything-else-out kind of giggle from behind me. She has my attention as I wait to hear the joke, but I don’t hear it; I see it. I turn round and James’ eyes latch on to mine, making me squirm in my seat. He quickly removes the arm that’s slung lazily over her shoulder and puts some distance between them. His eyes are still on mine as she tries to get his attention, but he doesn’t seem as into it as he was before he realised there was an audience.

His body moves forward as though he’s going to come over but as he slides into full view he notices the hand that’s dropped to my shoulder. His eyes narrow and he stiffens, his body standing tall and rigid. I want to tell him this isn’t anything, to tell him Sam’s just the distraction from the one man I want but who doesn’t want me, but I can’t. I can feel my legs starting to move; it’s like I have no control of my body when he’s around.

Little Miss Giggles, with her long shiny brown hair, and her supermodel legs, is back in full force and fawning all over him. I can’t watch so I shrug away from Sam and tell him I’m going to get us some more drinks. The queue is long so I have a reason to be a while, and I tap against the bar with my fingers, trying to distract my brain with the beat of the music.

“What are you doing with Sam?” His breath is a husky whisper that tickles my ear and his chest lowers so close to my back I can feel his weight against me. His hands are gripping the bar in front, caging me in, but I don’t want to move.

“Same thing you’re doing with Giggles over there in the corner I would assume. Unless you’re just playing chess.” I turn my head to meet his eyes, “Because we definitely aren’t playing chess.”

My heart falters at how close his lips are to mine, if I just reached up slightly I could touch them.

“No, you’re just playing dirty,” his deep growl shocks me and it’s like my body has gone into submission. I’ve got shivers running all over and my legs are feeling weak. He turns me abruptly and then moves closer, his body completely invading mine.

“I can help you remember.” He declares softly, his words are a promise that kindles the fire inside me. He hasn’t tried this in a while. It only seems to be when I’m with someone else.

I took Ed to Cassie’s birthday party. I knew James was going to be there with girls draped all over him so I wanted a buffer. No, I needed a buffer. I tried to stay away from him for the most part because the more I saw him, the more confident he was becoming in his pursuit of another night together. But he was trouble; that was for damn sure. We kept to ourselves until Ed got dragged away by a hot little blonde in a mini dress. I wasn’t bothered he was dancing with her; we only went as friends. I was bothered I was left on my own, and when I felt that heated gaze burning into me like a hot poker branding the skin, I was pissed. The brunette James was with was too busy preening herself because she wanted his attention back. The attention that was so completely on me I wanted to shout over at him and ask him what his problem was. He glanced at Ed with narrowed eyes, then back at me, but I didn’t understand at the time why he was bothered. I didn’t want to knowingly be just another notch on his bedpost and I didn’t want him to be just another on mine. I knew if I was going to continue to look into those baby blues, I’d cave and probably throw myself at him. When he put the cue down and prowled slowly around the pool table, smouldering eyes glowing like he was the powerful fearless predator and he’d set his sights on his prey, I turned away and tried to busy my clammy hands with pouring a drink, praying desperately for a miracle. I’d obviously been a bad girl because God didn’t give me one.

“Having fun, babe?” His sexy, deep voice from behind me unexpectedly sent a wave of goose bumps all over my skin and the bottle of vodka slipped out my hands and clanged onto the table, spilling the contents.