Swish (7 page)

He couldn't possibly need anything else. He had ski pants, a sturdy waterproof windbreaker, good waterproof gloves, a warm toque, a variety of snacks, a water bottle, an emergency kit...

“I'm only going skiing, not mountain-climbing,” Thomas muttered. Still, he wasn't used to outdoor sports, let alone by himself. If he went out on a skidoo, it was with someone he knew; if he snowshoed, he was reluctant. Skiing was much easier because he could glide. It was like skating on top of the snow.

Last time he'd skied was during his last year of high school. It was a senior class activity to keep them all from drinking and being irresponsible teens. Not that
that
had worked.

He still remembered nearly breaking limbs racing down hills way too fast. Then there were make-out sessions behind the cabins when kids thought the supervising teacher wasn't looking. Most memorable, perhaps, was the heckling when any of them fell, even though they were all just as bad.

He wasn't sure he remembered all the basics. Thomas just hoped someone there would be able to at least tell him if he was screwing up too badly. He wanted a workout, so at least poor skiing technique would burn even more energy.

Thomas's mind wandered a little as he parked in the ski club lot. He stubbornly kept himself from thinking about the man who'd been on his mind for days now. Alex could be a real idiot sometimes, and not talking to him for a few days seemed to smarten him up most of the time.

Taking some space also kept Thomas's nerves cool. He hated losing control, even for a small outburst like snapping at Cam the other day. But that was another good reason to exercise a little more. Burn off the energy and frustration, and... hell, maybe he'd meet someone who caught his eye.

Maybe.

The actual rental took a few minutes of shuffling around on skis and trying out different pole lengths.

“I'm not sure I remember how,” he admitted with a sheepish chuckle. “It's been years.”

“Oh, you're doing just fine.” The beardy young guy in hipster flannel plaid nodded as Thomas slowly scooted his feet back and forth. “It's just one foot in front of the other.”

“What's the quietest trail? Seems busy today.” Thomas had parked in the closer lot and that had been nearly filled. He'd probably nabbed that last parking spot from some early-morning skier who'd already come and gone.

“Probably one of the outer loops. A few people went up that way,” the man gestured with a gloved hand. “I'd rather see you go on that trail since there's others out there in case you run into trouble. Nobody's been out the other way yet this morning.”

Thomas appreciated his concern. “Thanks,” he nodded. “I'll do that.”

He set off slowly, not overeager to show off and fall on his face. He was glad he didn't embarrass himself before getting to the trailhead, at least. Once he slotted his skis into the tracks, he felt a little more stable, at least. The ridges on the bottom of the skis helped him stay upright, but they couldn't do much. The tracks gave him an inflated sense of confidence.

He set off at a slow stride, his legs moving awkwardly at first in the strange shuffling movements. It took him several strides to find a good pace for his feet, and another several hundred feet for his poles.

It was a beautiful day, at least. It was warming up, some of the snow that warmed under direct light dropping off branches in clumps. It wasn't hot enough that the snow was wet and sticky, though; there was still an icy layer that made him glide along with relative ease.

This seemed way easier than Thomas remembered. As the cabin disappeared from sight and nature enveloped him, he pushed himself a little harder to get his heart pounding.

Peace, fresh air, and exercise: maybe this would be just the ticket.

***

Oh, fuck, he was sweating like a pig and his lungs burned with the cold air. His cheeks were so cold that he barely felt when his nose needed to be dabbed. Getting tissues out of his pocket was an elaborate exercise. He let go of his poles, wrested his hand from one of the straps, unzipped his pocket through thick gloves, finally got a tissue out and blew his nose, then reversed the whole process.

And he was drinking more water than ever. Despite being surrounded by the frozen stuff, he couldn't seem to drink enough. Plus, he'd already stopped for a few snacks.

He wanted to reach the cabin ahead – he just had no idea how far away it was. He finally came across a sign.
Another four kilometers?
Oh, fuck, he was never gonna make it back to the main cabin at this rate let alone another eight kilometers.

Thomas blew out a little sigh, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. He'd at least crest the next hill and emerge from the treeline. If he spotted the cabin ahead, maybe he could get to it.

He double-poled down the hill. In his exhaustion, he realized a little too late he'd misjudged the angle of the slope. It curved around a small hill and steepened almost immediately. By the time he saw the angle down, it was all he could do to try to bring his toes together.
Brake... I need brakes...!

The adrenaline rushed to Thomas's head as he sucked his breath in. It was way too late to slow down. There weren't tracks on a hill this steep since it was safer to take the hill on the bare slope. They wouldn't have saved him, though.

“Oh, shit--”

Another skier was at the bottom of the hill. He was going to collide with him. He tried to skid sideways, turning like a downhill skier might to redirect himself. The move upset his precarious balance, and he didn't stand a chance against the slick icy surface and gravity together.

He tumbled hard, hitting the ground as his skis and poles immediately tangled.

“Shit, ow-- oof!” As he flipped into the deep snow and one arm caught in the trees. Then there was a
snap
.

Christ, don't let that be my arm or leg.

A second or two later he came to a stop, skidding around ninety degrees from where he'd gotten stuck in the tree. As the adrenaline faded just enough to become aware of his body, it was obvious that it hadn't been his own limb.

Thank god for that.

That left him with three main problems: that had been his ski pole snapping; he was a ridiculously long way away from the cabin; and the skier now just a few feet away looked horribly, impossibly familiar.

“Oh, god. It can't be.” Thomas closed his eyes for a moment while his body shivered with the adrenaline coursing through him. Of course he'd have his near-death experience while
he
was right there.

But when he opened his eyes again, he shook his head. Thomas's eyes didn't lie. Even in a stylish white winter toque with a bobble on the top, the sexy man wearing that smirk had a smart mouth on him. He wasn't giving him a moment's rest.

“Taking the shortcut?”

“Fuck you, Alex.” Thomas sneered for a moment, fighting to get his hands out from the ski pole straps. He yanked one out, then the other, and wrestled his skis free.

“I've never seen anyone fall that spectacularly. Are you okay?”

Alex smoothly sank to his knees sideways on the snow, not even tangling his skis in the process. He wore a look of concern that touched Thomas as much as it pissed him off.

“I'm fine,” Thomas muttered, his emotions settling down. It was probably just as well he wasn't alone. If
had
been injured alone, this would be a lot worse. “Just my pride... and that pole. Oh, man.”

“It's a friggin' miracle you didn't break a leg. In downhill skis, you definitely would have.”

“Thanks for that helpful commentary,” Thomas snipped. He pushed his way back to his feet, his hands and knees sinking further into the snow. “There's a reason I don't go down hills on bikes, either.”

Alex held back his clear urge to laugh and reached out a hand. Swallowing his pride for a moment, Thomas took the hand and Alex pulled him up to his feet. “The offer of mouth-to-mouth still stands,” Alex teased.

Thomas ignored Alex, stooping over carefully to grab one pole. He waddled up the hill a few paces for the broken pole.

“Do you want to borrow mine? They're taller since they're made for skate-skiing.”

Thomas snorted. “Of course you don't ski like the rest of us plebes, either.”

Alex looked startled, then laughed. “No, I – Thomas. I took lessons before. There's nothing wrong with the classic style. It can be very graceful and... speedy.”

“Not the way I do it.”

Alex laughed again. “Okay. Well, you're honest.”

“No sense pretending I'm a star.” Thomas hid his smile.

“I'll keep you company and make sure you don't break the other pole.”

Despite his irritation, Thomas was surprisingly amenable to the idea. Somehow, the banter between them brightened him up more than if it had been some random stranger. “Okay. If you must. I was just heading back to the lodge anyway.”

Alex nodded. “Me, too. I didn't know you skied.” He pulled away and skated to the other side of the hill, then dug the edges of his skis into the snow in a V pattern to climb up the hill.

Still out of breath, almost dizzy from the adrenaline of the fall, Thomas followed. He had a harder time without being able to dig one of his poles in for support. He was clutching the broken pieces of the other pole in his left hand while trying to anchor himself with one pole.

It was a struggle, but he got to the top of the hill and scooted over into the tracks again.

“Do you want to swap skis?” Alex offered. “It might have to be boots too, though. I think we were the same shoe size...”

Thomas hadn't expected Alex to remember that detail. He hoped his warm cheeks were already flushed red from the cold air. “I, uh... nah. I'll manage.”

“Okay. Let me know if you do.”

He might have laughed earlier, but Alex was showing sweet concern now. Thomas's hackles settled as he set off in a slow, steady rhythm.

After a couple minutes, he had the best rhythm he could manage going. It was a bit like hobbling over the ice rather than the smooth glide he'd managed before, but it was something.

“What were you doing out here?” he asked Alex. “Working?”

Alex snorted. “I do take
a little
time off, you know,” he grinned. “I often get home from work early.”

“Really? I thought you'd be all... late nights.”

“Nah. Not around here. A lot of the time, surveillance is best done in the early morning. Catching people going to work... stray pets are active in the dawn and dusk hours...”

“You find people's pets? Jeez, you're trying to be a good guy now,” Thomas snorted.

“I'm trying. I know I've been a dick sometimes... am
still
a dick sometimes...”

Thomas nodded. “But I've seen a change in you already. Overall.”

“Oh, yeah?” Alex brightened up. It was harder work for him to skate-ski slowly besides Thomas. It would have been easier to go fast and travel the distance with each glide, but he still did it effortlessly. He
did
have a pretty toned body, after all.

Oh, god, don't think of that here.

Thomas tried to think of some other topic of conversation, but none came to mind. He just stayed quiet for now, conserving his energy. Now and then, Alex caught his gaze.

This is nice. Just us, alone, quiet, not pushing each other's buttons... I could do this again.

The thought was as thrilling as it was scary.

It was hard not to laugh at poor Thomas's efforts to ski. He looked like he hadn't been on skis for years, if ever, and he didn't quite know how to compensate with his other arm. He dragged himself along more than pushing, but Alex resisted the urge to critique his technique. That probably wasn't what he wanted just now.

After a few more minutes of quiet exertion, when they both slowed down for a drink of water, Alex looked at him.
Do or die.
This was the bit of trying to be a better person that was most uncomfortable. It never got easier.
“I'm sorry I pissed you off the other day. I shouldn't have said those things...”

“That's half an apology, but I'll take it,” Thomas snorted. “I shouldn't have hung up on you.”

“No, that was cute,” Alex teased. “I used to do that to you... a lot. Try to piss you off. God, I'm sorry for teenage me.”

Thomas laughed now, the sound more relaxed and genuine. “Yeah, but I liked the bad boys.” He tilted his bottle back to down some water.

Mm, the outline of his throat bobbing as he swallowed... “You still like 'em?” Alex winked. Before Thomas answered, he added, “I know you're not looking to date me again or anything. I'm just flirting for the sake of it. If you wanna keep this... whatever we've had... to one hookup, that's fine.”

Thomas looked startled as he tucked his water bottle in his jacket pocket and pulled his glove on again. “Oh. I see.”

Jesus. Alex had almost forgotten... it was so hard to read him sometimes. “No, tell me what you really think. I've always admired you for having your boundaries, man. Nobody ever made you do shit if you didn't wanna do it,” Alex told him. “It's something I'd look for in a boyfriend now, even though I got annoyed by it then.”

“Would you look for a closeted boyfriend now?”

Alex glanced over sharply at Thomas. Was that a proposal or an honest question? He drew a breath, then let it out and nodded. “Yeah. I better get why some people do it now.”

“What changed your mind?”

Alex set himself into motion, going as slow as possible while Thomas got up to speed. “Uh... working in security and investigation. I see a lot of unhappy couples and families. Chase, for example.”

“Ah.” Thomas cast a quick look at him. “You're looking for a boyfriend now? I didn't think you were the type to do boyfriends. You
barely
did when we were together.”

“Believe it or not,” Alex laughed. The squeak and rush of the snow beneath their skis was a beautiful backdrop to their conversation. Somehow, it soothed Alex's anxious nerves. “I went a couple years without dating guys for more than, what, two months?”

“That's not even a relationship, that's an extended fling.”

Alex laughed. “Yeah, I know that now. But I dunno. Things are different since moving back here.” He spoke carefully, not sure what Thomas was trying to coax out of him. His heart thrummed with nervous anticipation. “I just...” he trailed off.

No, don't say it.

If Thomas gave him an answer on whether he wanted a relationship again, Alex would tell him the gods-honest truth. He missed Thomas like hell and hookups with others weren't doing anything for him.

But he didn't want to push Thomas's comfort, and Thomas did seem uncomfortable. Alex wasn't sure if it was strictly at the idea of dating him, or men in general, but he was being awfully distant.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” Alex brightly answered. “I just saw a bird, I think.”

“Oh, congratulations. You're a bird-spotter now?”

Alex laughed. “Smart-ass. It was a blue jay. It was cute. I'm not pointing out any more birds if you're just gonna make fun of me.”

“No, point out the birds, please,” Thomas groaned. “I'm sorry.”

“Fine.”

The mood was light between them as Thomas glanced at him. Those eyes were always perceptive. “If you were about to talk about us, I'm ready for that.”

Alex's lips parted in a quick, small “O” shape – he knew his mouth was hanging open, and not just from exertion. His ski nearly slipped sideways as he lost concentration. He pulled it back towards his body and smoothly glided. “Oh. Right. Um, I was just gonna say I really liked what we did the other night.”

“Me, too,” Thomas answered. “I thought it was one last fling, but it might be... the opposite.”

Yes!
Alex didn't even know why he was so excited at this admission. It wasn't like Thomas wanted to be his boyfriend instantly or anything. He didn't even know for sure he wanted Thomas to be!

But this was progress: for the first time, they were discussing their relationship like mature adults. And to Alex's surprise, it felt good.

***

There was nobody else in the main cabin – just the employees outside taking back the ski rentals. Once they ditched the skis and Thomas paid extra for his broken pole, they headed inside. They stripped off their ski jackets and pants to warm up for a few minutes before driving back home.

There were saunas and one outdoor hot tub, too. Alex was hardly prepared for Thomas in a swimsuit though – or even naked. He wasn't sure he wouldn't channel Darren and Anna's recklessness.

That last bit of evidence – video of them – was all he needed. Lexy would have her suspicions confirmed. Anna was more than a one-time fling. Darren wouldn't be able to talk his way out of it with the usual excuses.

Alex had to write up his report, but that could wait. Someone more important was here, sitting next to him on the bench in front of the wood stove.

Their knees grazed as Thomas stretched out, then placed a hand gently on Alex's knee.

A smile tugged at Alex's lips, and he turned his head to watch Thomas. He stretched his arm along the bench behind Thomas's back, then loosely wrapped it around his shoulders.

Logs crackled inside the glass-fronted fireplace as they watched the sparks fly and embers glow. The warmth was intense – almost unbearable – but Alex was hardly going to move.

“Would you drive back with me?” Thomas asked. “In convoy, of course. I want to talk somewhere private.”

“Okay. Want to come over to my place?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah. You'll have to lead, though. I don't know where it is.”

“No problem.” Alex couldn't look away from Thomas now. His cheeks were still flushed adorably red, his lips parted and wet and kissable.

Thomas's eyes had wandered down to his lips, too. He checked out around them, which Alex knew meant he was thinking about it.

“C'mon,” Alex murmured. He leaned in to peck Thomas's lips and Thomas tilted his head so their lips perfectly met. After one sweet kiss, Alex pulled back. He rose, then offered a hand to Thomas to pull him to his feet for the second time that day.

Thomas took his hand and didn't let go as they walked down to the parking lot together.

Alex waited until Thomas was behind him before pulling out of the lot. His heart pounded with a kind of nervous excitement he hadn't felt in a long time.

He wasn't gloating at the possibility that Thomas wanted a repeat of the other day. Instead, he anticipated talking about their relationship. Hell, Alex worried that Thomas would slip away at an intersection instead of following him back to the city.

Something had changed in the way Alex looked at others – a new respect, perhaps. There was no more running from inconvenient situations; this time, Thomas had just as much power to break Alex's heart. And for the first time, Alex was okay with that vulnerability.