Switched, Bothered and Bewildered (2 page)

Sumiko knew all the hand movements, too. By now the Aussie spa dude had joined in, and the towel girl had come over to gawk.

Jillian groaned. "You can't tell me they syndicated
Harvey reruns in
Australia and
Japan?"

"You bet! I was just a little tyke, of course, and we got the show a lotta years off the boat," spa dude said as he crossed his arms and looked pleased. Sumiko nodded her approval and agreement. As if what? She and Jillian were like— ancient old women?

"We were only five years old in the first episodes you know/' Jana Lee said.

"How come we didn't get foreign rights on that, Jana Lee?"

"We probably did. Uncle Cyril probably bought that new yellow Cadillac with it." Jana Lee sunk into her herbal wrap and tried to look invisible.

Jillian must have noticed Jana Lee's discomfort. "Thanks, folks, but we just want to exfoliate and detoxify in peace here."

The staff members went back to work and left Jana Lee to simmer in her herbs. "Who would have figured they'd nail us with the dang song?" she said.

"No kidding. I don't mind that much. I guess they cut the episode where I kicked
Harvey in the shins and sent him crashing into the castle set."

"I guess so. You sure packed a wallop for a kid."

"Little Johnny Hoffstater and I had been wrestling after school."

"Oh, is that what you called it? I thought you were practicing kissing."

"Haw, haw." Jillian sounded like her mud had seized up.

"Speaking of wrestling, what about that new guy you've been after at the office? A nice romance would perk you right up after the Ron fiasco. It always has," Jana Lee teased.

"Honestly, I don't think he's interested in me. I all but threw myself at him during the office holi-

day party. I—oh, it's too humiliating to think about." Jillian groaned.

"What? Spill it. My life is too dull for words. I have to have some vicarious fun."

"I stalked him until I caught him alone under the mistletoe, then laid a big wet one on him, complete with octopus arms and a full-frontal boob squish with my low-cut green velvet dress. I oozed cleavage all over him."

"What guy wouldn't go for that?"

"That
one. He all but ran out into the snowy night. It's taken me five months to be able to look him in the eye again. The only good part is he wasn't in the room when I beat up the candy machine."

"Well, there's other fish in the fishbowl. You're a very good-looking woman. I should know."

"So funny." Jillian laughed. "At my age it takes more than looks. I think I'm a little intimidating."

"Tell me about it."

"Jana, come
on,
let's do it. Just one week?" Jillian begged. "I bet you could use a change."

"I could use a change, that's a fact. At least you've got work that you love. I'm really at a crossroads. I spent the last twelve years being a wife and mother. I've been trying to figure out what I can do now. I haven't got a clue. I used to be good at art, but that's not going to pay the property taxes or college for Carly in a few years. She's going to be a junior in high school next fall, you know?"

"I'll help with little Miss Carly
Charlotte's education. Besides, I thought Bill left you enough to cover that."

"His life insurance was pretty good, but if you figure living expenses plus college costs for the next six years without any input from me, it's going to run out eventually. And Carly is looking at Stanford or something equally expensive.

"I told her she'd have to either get a scholarship or stay in state. She looked at me like I was sending her to a nunnery instead of the
University
of
Washington
. Her father did just fine there." Jana Lee had lost her relaxed mode again. Boy this was hard, but she might as well tell her sister everything. Jillian had been honest with her, and she appreciated that. They were making a whole lot of progress in healing their old wounds this weekend. It was good to talk to her sister openly again. Besides, she needed to talk. And Jillian needed to understand why she couldn't do what she was asking her to do.

"Carly has no respect for me anymore. I'm not sure if I have any for myself. I've hardly left my house for the last two years, and I know I haven't actually cleaned it in about that long. I just do the bare minimum, then curl up with a gallon of tea and watch talk shows.

"And talk about a nunnery, I have no idea what to do about meeting a man. I don't know if it's in me anymore. No wonder Carly wants to get as far

away as possible. I'm as much of a mess as you are, I guess. I
sure
don't have it in me to do what you're asking, Jillian." Jana Lee's eyes watered up, but the tears had nowhere to go. They puddled against the mud and finally absorbed.

What a pathetic creature she was, crying into her mud facial. She didn't like quiet. It gave her too much time to think. She could shut off her head when
The View
was blaring in the background.

"Look, Jana, if you let me stay at your place, I'll clean house, wash the dog and straighten up my niece while I get my head back together. It'll be very Zen—carry the water, scrub the floor, you know? I miss the old place. I need to connect with my roots. We did a whole lot of growing up in that house.

"I feel like I've missed the boat on this family thing, and it's been too long since Carly's seen her aunt. Besides, I know this sounds weird, but if I could just see what it's like to have a quiet, suburban life, I might stop thinking about what I've missed out on and be happier. I'll probably hate it after two days."

"It's not that quiet. You'd be surprised. But I doubt Carly will even notice if I'm gone." Jana Lee's mud was getting very soggy around the eye area.

"And if you went to my office you could see what it's like to sit in a big leather chair and sign papers all day. We're in a really slow time right

now at Pitman and you'd only have to go to a few meetings; but you do have to be me. Oliver, my assistant, can do all the real work. I don't want those slackers in production to think that the accounting department isn't watching them every minute. You'd be doing me a huge favor. Gawd, the thought of going back to work Monday is giving me the vapors."

"You don't get the vapors, Jillian, you've never gotten the vapors in your life. You are a tough cookie." Jana Lee looked over at Jillian, but what she saw was not a tough cookie. She noticed her sister's hand was trembling slightly, and she looked very thin, even wrapped in green goo. She also knew Jillian's job was anything but easy. "Why don't you just tell them you need more time?"

"I can't. My position at the company entails too much responsibility for them to think I'm weak. They need to believe I'm that tough cookie. And jobs like mine don't come around too often these days. It's all I've got, Jillian. Right now I'm a seaweed-wrapped nutcase. I don't want them to see me this way. Just say you'll think about it."

"I'll think about it if you promise you'll deal with the molding laundry the minute you set foot in the house." Jana Lee couldn't believe she was saying this, but something in her sister's voice really got to her.

"Yuk. I promise."

"For real."

"We'll see. I might hire someone."

"It has to be your own hands."

"Fine, I'll wear rubber gloves and a gas mask."

"That's more like it." Jana Lee laughed, then drifted off into the dreaded quiet. She tried to imagine herself at Jillian's job as comptroller for Pitman Toys. Jillian could add and subtract and create sales average graph charts. Jana Lee couldn't. But she
could
help her sister keep her job just by making a brief appearance and hiding out in her office for a week. At the same time she'd get a glimpse of what a real company in the big city was like.

It was a plain fact that she'd never held down anything besides a volunteer position in her entire life. She'd chosen to marry Bill instead of finishing college, and Carly had come along very quickly.

Even when she'd found out she couldn't have more children and Carly had reached school age, she hadn't gotten a job. Bill had always said he liked it when she was home for him.

Not that she'd minded. She'd taken a great deal of pride in having dinner on the table and keeping a home for her family. She'd felt useful, and when Bill had been away on business trips she'd always been there for Carly.

But Jana Lee remembered that she'd felt most alive when she was painting. Of course, she had

no training, but the time she'd created a beautiful garden mural on her little girl's bedroom wall, complete with rabbits and birds and butterflies and a floral array worthy of Monet, had given her great joy.

Her friend Leslie had gushed and said she should go into the wall mural business. Jana Lee remembered planning it out, but in the end she just hadn't had the courage to do it.

If she hadn't had the courage then, how was she going to find it now? Where was she going to find the nerve to make a new career for herself at thirty-five? Where indeed?

But really, it wasn't the worst idea ever to try it out in Jillian's office. She was sick of being a scared rabbit. Maybe she'd shake up her life for once. Maybe she'd do it for JiUian. Maybe she'd be the strong one for a change. JiUian
had
spent months with her after Bill's car accident, helping with the memorial and all those sad details that go along with the end of a person's life. JiUian had given her the space to grieve by taking care of so many things.

And here she was asking for help herself. Poor JiUian. She really did need a rest.

Jana Lee sensed a shadow over her face, and she opened her eyes. Her sister JiUian was looking down at her with a very shiny, clean, but pale face. A face that looked so tired, Jana Lee knew she'd do anything to help her sister feel better.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty, the beast is here, and she's hungry," Jillian growled.

"What's the point of getting all sweaty and slenderized if it gives you the appetite of a bear?" Jillian moaned as she tried to fit a fourth "gourmet health wrap" on her plate while they stood in the lunch buffet line, only to get a glare from the catering assistant. More like gourmet health
crap.
She needed a big fat sizzling steak with a side of jumbo fries. "Don't they believe in high-protein here?"

"Shhh. This is part of the detoxification plan, and it's supposed to help you get well." Jana Lee shushed her.

Jillian picked up the wrap and looked down the end like a spyglass. "There's like ...
horse
food in here."

"Those are wheat berries and raw oats in a curry sauce. Now be quiet and behave."

Yuk. Jillian ordered a yogurt smoothie at the end of the line with as much actual fruit as possible. None of this wheatgrass for her. She'd have them grind up a nice barbequed chicken in there—or at least replace that yogurt with ice cream—if she could.

"We are hitting Dairy Queen as soon as we're outta here for a double cheeseburger and a fudge brownie treat sundae," Jillian said.

"And undo all this health? Speak for yourself.

Of course you're the one that can eat like a horse and never gain an ounce. I thought we were supposed to be identical. What's up with that?"

"I
am
eating like a horse/' Jillian whinnied and bit into her healthy wrap as soon as her butt was in the dining room chair. She chewed and made a face at her sister, who was actually making a worse face, having had her own bite. "I think it's because you had a child. It rearranges things. Not fair, is it?"

"I suppose the joy of motherhood is supposed to make up for that. But when they hit fifteen, I'd rather have my old hips back, thanks anyway."

Jillian choked and looked at Jana Lee with surprise. It was nice to see Jana Lee wisecracking. She was just too damn serious most of the time. You'd think she was the firstborn. Come to think of it, she was. By about ten minutes.

Jana Lee removed a piece of what looked like actual wheat from her wrap. "Oh my, I just thought of something. If we're really going to do the switch, and I'm not saying we are, I'm going to have to lose a few pounds and cut and dye the gray out of my hair."

"Oh yeah. I forgot. Plus you'll need a manicure for sure, and—um, I sort of got a tattoo."

"You what?"

"I didn't think you'd approve. I got it in the
Bahamas."

"You got a tattoo in a foreign country?"

"Hey, at least if we're in an accident together they can finally tell us apart."

"There is no way I'm getting a tattoo, besides no one will see it anyway." Jana Lee waved her off.

"It's sort of in a visible spot." Jillian pushed her white terry robe sleeve up and revealed a subtle tribal scroll bracelet design around her wrist. "We can do yours in temporary ink. That will wear off in a few weeks."

"It better."

"This will be fun."

"Fun as in me on a treadmill sweating my extra ten pounds off in twenty-four hours?"

"You don't have to lose ten pounds. You can just tell everyone you pigged out at the spa." Jillian laughed.