SWOLLEN: A Secret Baby Sports Romance (35 page)

“
That’s like a monsoon brewing out there, Tilly.”

Maybe he’s bored of me already. Fuck. Maybe I’m falling for him and he’s not falling for me, except I know he wants me because I can see it in his eyes every time he looks over. Every time I look at him I get a look back that tells me. He’s the one that made this happen in the first place, both times. If Mom and Marvin weren’t here now, we’d be fucking. He wants to, I know that, so why is he holding out on me? Is it to make me beg? Is it because he wants to be sure? Is it really raining that hard?

“
You’ve never driven in a monsoon?”

“
I just don’t like taking unnecessary risks.”

“
Very wise, Landon”, Mom says. “It’s a real mess out there still and the last thing we want is for you to slip about on the road and have an accident.”

Asshole.

“
You could be missing out on a hell of a lot with an attitude like that.”

“
You’re forgetting, I’ve already seen what’s out there.”

Double asshole. I know he’s fucking around because of the way he’s smiling at me to goad me on, which means this is a test and I just have to find the right words to convince him, but fuck him. I shouldn’t play, but I can’t not.

“
You never want to see it again?”

“
I can wait until the rain passes.”

“
Maybe I can’t.”

“
I don’t believe that for a second.”

“
Seriously. I might change my mind tomorrow. I might be over it. The lake, the sunbathing, everything. Come to think of it, I might even move my bed back in here. The only reason I slept for so long was because I was up half the night with your snoring.”

“
Huh.”

Bingo. Just the possibility that I could stop this any time I want seems to be having some effect.

“
You know the lake is always going to be there, right?”

“
We
might not be though, and tomorrow it might be raining again. This vacation isn’t going to last forever.”

“
We can always come back.”

“
Better to find out whether it’s worth it first or not.”

Zing! Strike two. Landon looks like he’s about to topple.  

“
Alright. If you really, really want to, we can go, but if we go, we have to go all the way.”

I can’t hide my smile. Back seat or front seat? I’ve never fucked in a car before. How long can we get away with being outside for without Mom and Marvin getting sus? We could pretend to have been caught in it, pretend we actually did have an accident.

“
Don’t be silly, Landon. Look at the weather. You don’t think going together is dangerous. You’ll regret it when you both get caught.”

Landon and I look at each other and then back to Mom. We know what she’s talking about, but she could equally as easily be talking about what Landon and I aren’t talking about. Again, I ask myself, does she know? It’s not impossible that she heard us last night, but would she really bring it up like this?

“
You’re just going to get wet, Tilly. Really wet. And it’s going to be hard all the way for Landon. It’s a big risk-. What are you two laughing at?”

Landon and I can’t help it. When I’m finally able to gather myself and catch my breath, I’m crying so much I can barely see. Landon’s just as bad.

“
What is wrong with you two?”

Marvin looks up from his magazine momentarily to give us the once over.

“
Not enough oxygen in here I reckon.”

“
Sorry, it’s just, I don’t know, something funny about what you said-.”

Landon can barely finish his sentence before he’s creasing over with laughter again.

“
I’m just concerned about you two, that’s all. There’s nothing funny about that. I don’t want to get a call from someone that’s found you two on top of one another in a big pile.”

I know she’s talking about us having an accident, but based on what I hope we end up doing, it sends me into another uncontrollable fit of laughter, during which time I can’t help but press myself against Landon’s chest, put my hand on his thigh to try and steady myself and rest my head momentarily against his shoulder.

“
Alright, do whatever you want, see if I care. You’re both adults anyway.”

Mom gives us a dismissive wave of her hand and returns to the kitchen to continue tidying up.

I turn to Landon, my belly already tumbling over nervously.

“
Are you sure you want to go?”

“
Are you sure you are ready to come again?”

The ‘again’ is tacked onto the sentence with just enough ambiguity that it doesn’t sound completely awkward. It still forces me to squeeze Landon’s thigh with a hidden hand just to make sure he doesn’t risk doing it again. Mom looks over momentarily, trying to place the origin of the yelp, satisfied enough that nothing is wrong when we both smile innocently back at her.

We are both ready in less than five minutes, as eager as each other to get out of the door. The sky above us is grey, but over in the distance, perhaps in the direction we are travelling, I can just about see a slither of blue.

To get to the car we have to rush through raindrops as big as broad beans, while Mom stands at the door watching us both go, perhaps worried we might not come back at all.

I cannot even begin to explain how thrilled I am, my stomach turning over so much I almost feel sick. I’m nervous because I know what's coming, excited because I want it more than anything else.

I’m wet when I get into the car, fifteen seconds underneath the rain enough to plaster my hair to my shoulders. A moment later, Landon is alongside me, his face wet, his T-shirt almost sodden through.

“
This better be worth it, Tilly.”

“
You already know it is.”

If Mom wasn't waving us away I’d kiss him right away. When we are far enough away she wouldn’t even be able to see us with her birding binoculars, I can’t keep my hands off him.

“
That’s what I didn’t get to do this morning. If you’re lucky, I’ll show you the rest later on.”

Landon

Tilly pulls herself away from me, but leaves her hand rested on my thigh, close enough to make me pay attention if she wants me to.

“
You ought to be careful, Tilly. I might start thinking you actually like me.”

“
I don’t think there’s any chance of that happening too soon, and don’t flatter yourself anyway, Landon, I was right on the edge of giving up.”
“
Was that before or after you practically begged me to bring you out here? On such a beautiful day too.”

“
You didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to.”

Rain hammers against the windshield and I have to drive slowly just to keep the car on the road.

“
How could I refuse?”

“
You can’t, obviously. So go on, admit it.”

“
Admit what?”

“
Admit you can’t resist me.”

I have to give her a look then, just to keep her in check.

“
I knew it. Even with his career on the line, Landon Maddox couldn’t keep his hands off me.”

“
I didn’t say that.”

“
You didn’t need to.”

“
And my career is only on the line if they find out, which is why we better make it worth it if they do.”

Tilly holds my gaze for a while before I have to look back to the road.

“
I came out here to see the lake, I don’t know what you’ve got in mind.”

“
I’m not sure how much you’ll see with the windows all steamed up.”

I know exactly what she’s got in mind even if she plans to play it hard to get. She knows I know too, that’s what that little display was all about when we’d barely even left the house, that’s why she’s got her hand inches away from my dick, and why she doesn’t mind me squeezing her leg when I should be changing gear.

“
I’m not going to tell anyone by the way. Not unless you piss me off.”

“
I guess I better behave myself then.”

“
Well I didn’t say that.”

It’s a forty five minute drive to the lake in this weather, and when we get there, it’s still raining too heavily to get out of the car. In the distance I can see blue skies, and light breaking through thick grey cloud, but right where we are, it’s like being stuck in a washing machine. I kill the engine, and the windows fill with water so quickly I feel like we are sinking underwater. We can barely see out of them, but it doesn’t matter. Even if someone else were stupid enough to be out in this, it means they wouldn’t be able to see in. Tilly can’t see the lake, but I know that’s not why she’s demanded we come here anyway.

“
Stunning.”

“
I don’t know. Looks a little rocky from this side. A little dangerous.”

“
It might look different if you get a bit closer.”

I’ve practically been hard or at least semi hard for most of this vacation, but yesterday and today, after Tilly and I fucked for the first time, then couldn’t fuck because of Dad’s Lazarus appearance, and then fucked again, but slowly and quietly, I’ve been a hair trigger away from exploding. I don’t like to admit it, but Tilly is driving me wild, without really doing anything out of the ordinary either.

Just watching her gets me going, listening to her talk about nothing when she’s really talking about us, seeing the way her brain ticks over, it turns me on. Last night was incredible, even if we were restricted, perhaps because of it, and right now I want to rip her clothes off with an urgency that risks betraying just how I feel about her, which, by the way, seems to grow in intensity the more time that passes.

I’ve had feelings like this before, beginnings of relationships that mirror this one, but not once as an independent adult have I had a similar situation, where we have to sneak around to snatch moments together, hiding in front of others what we really want to say to each other. I feel like a teenager again, sneaking out of the house to make out with one of the cheerleaders from the club, and I wonder how long we’ll have to keep doing it for.

“
Are you seducing me?”

“
Are you letting yourself be seduced?”

Tilly flutters her eyelids. She sweeps her hair away from her face, poses theatrically, purses her lips together and then bites the lower one. Finally, she flops back into the seat casually, a wide smile breaking out across her face.

“
Last night was pretty fucking intense, Landon. I thought I was going to break.”

“
I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“
What if you can’t improve on it?”

“
I guess I’ll just have to try real hard.”

“
I’ve never fucked in a car before, it seems kind of restrictive.”

“
At least you can scream in here without anyone hearing you.”

“
That sounds like a luxury I didn’t think I’d get today.”

“
You might have to make the most of it, if Dad continues his rapid recovery.”

“
Maybe we’ll just have to end the vacation early so we can carry on at home.”

“
What if you decide this is just a holiday romance?”

“
I might have to ask your coach that question.”

“
He might suggest you continue with it.”

“
I guess we’ll just have to see if I can fit you into my busy life then.”

“
And you into mine.”

“
Between your dates with underwear models?”

“
Underwear models are boring people.”

“
Oh, I know that already. They don’t even scream when they fuck.”

“
Then I guess you’re in safe hands.”

“
I wouldn’t say that, you are my stepbrother after all.”

“
I wouldn’t say that either, people will begin to talk.”

“
Then I guess we have to keep it a secret.”

“
If you want to keep it at all.”

“
I haven’t made my mind up yet. I hate you remember, it’s a bit of an obstacle.”

“
You seem to be doing alright so far.”

“
I’m learning.”

“
I can see.”