Sword Sworn-Sword Dancer 6 (44 page)

She nodded, clearly troubled. "I know."

I sighed, set down the bowl and spoon. "Del, something happened to me. I became aware of it when

I was Umir's 'guest.' I don't know how it happened, and I can't even be sure it will happen again, but

when I danced, when I took up my sword—I felt as if I had all four fingers on each hand."

Blue eyes widened.

"I know it sounds impossible. But it's true. I mean, I
know
the fingers are gone—hoolies, I saw

Sahdri throw them off the spire!—but when I dance, it feels as if I still have them."

Del was staring at my hands. One thumb, three fingers on each.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining them there. But when I danced against Musa, I could have

sworn I had all my fingers again."

She met my eyes. "Is it possible that it's—"

"—wishful thinking? Sure. And it could be. But it might also be something in me now, something

that's a part of the magic. I conjured a living sandtiger out of carved bone once. Who's to say I can't

conjure two fingers when I need them?"

"Does it—does it feel the same?"

"Not exactly. And when I look at them, I see the stumps, not the fingers. But when I take up the

sword, I feel whole again. That my hands are whole again." I hitched one shoulder in a half-shrug. "I'm

not saying I can't be defeated or that no one could use it against me. My grip is different. I'm not the

same as I was before. Anyone looking at my hands would see only three fingers. But if I can dance as

though I have four on each hand—"

"But you don't." Gently insistent, afraid I'd become complacent in something that didn't truly exist.

I heaved a sigh, ran one hand through my hair, scrubbing against my tattooed scalp. "I've heard men

who've lost a limb talk about ghost pain. That they feel as if the missing limb is still attached, still

functional. Maybe that's all it is. I sense the ghosts of my fingers somehow, and it helps." I tapped. "Up

here, in my head."

Del nodded. "And if the ghosts ever go away?"

I laughed a little. "Bascha, I'm forty years old. I don't have many more good years left to me as a

sword-dancer; and I'm
not
a sword-dancer, according to the oaths of Alimat. But I think I can teach."

The smile broke free from the tension in her face. "I still can't believe it. The Sandtiger, opening a

school. . . and teaching!"

"Oh? What about you? You seem willing enough to stick in one place and take on students. Is that

what you envisioned for yourself when you left Staal-Ysta?"

"I envisioned killing Ajani. Beyond that—?" She shook her head. "Nothing. My song ended that day

in Iskandar. The South is not my home, but I can't go to the North. And it doesn't matter. I chose to be

with you. If you want to restore Alimat and reopen a school, then I will be a part of it."

I was only half-joking. "Until Neesha steals you away from me."

Nothing in Del's expression suggested there was anything that supported what I'd suggested, even in

the back of her mind. "Well, then we have a few weeks, at least."

Relief. I grinned, handed her the other bread-bowl, stuck the second horn spoon into it so it stood

up in the center. "Here. Just don't eat up all our profits."

THIRTY-TWO

DEL AND I were packed and eating our morning meal by the time Neesha came dragging out of

one of the smaller rooms to knock at the doorframe, since, as Del had noted, we had no actual door.

My mouth was full, so Del, tying saddlepouches closed, waved him in; he sidled through the curtain

split. "Is everyone decent?"

Del and I assessed him silently. His face was stubbled, his eyes faintly bloodshot, his hair an unruly

tangle. I swallowed and said, "Aparently more decent than you."

His smile blossomed, lighting honey-brown eyes. "Oh, no. I am far better than decent. Or so Silk

tells me."

I nearly choked on my next bite, swallowed hastily. "Silk? You ended up with Silk last night?"

"Silk was the
last
one I ended up with last night, yes."

I glowered at him. "And I suppose she didn't charge you."

Neesha's grin was a superior smirk. "As a matter of fact, she said she ought to pay
me."

Del looked from me to him and back again. "Is this for my benefit, this ridiculous male posturing?"

Neesha started laughing even as I grinned. Hey, in front of a beautiful woman you like it to be known

that you have alternatives.

"But you do look, um, used up," I noted.

He attempted to tame his hair. "Ridden hard and put away wet," he agreed in horse parlance; then he

glanced at Del solemnly. "And that isn't posturing."

She made a sound of absolute scorn and waved a dismissive hand. "You men."

Indictment in two words. Neesha and I exchanged grins. "Women," we said simultaneously.

Del scowled, buckling on her harness. "Are we ready to go?"

"My things are packed and by the back door," Neesha told her.

My mouth full again, I gestured illustratively at waiting saddlepouches.

"Good," she said. "Why don't you two
men
go saddle the horses? I'll be along in a few moments."

I washed breakfast down with ale. "What's keeping you?"

"Something
men
wouldn't understand." She gestured again. "Run along, boys."

I already wore my harness and sword; I hooked my set of saddlepouches over my shoulder, tossed

Del's to Neesha. "By all means, let's allow the
woman
to do
woman
things."

Del scowled at us both as we departed the room.

The kid and I went to the livery housing the horses and set about getting them ready to go. It was

companionable as we worked, exchanging a sentence now and again, but mostly just tending the horses.

Neesha did indeed have a way with them that I envied. I wondered if I should have him ride the stud . . .

nah, better not. I really didn't want to get the kid hurt.

Nor, for that matter, did I want to witness the stud's defection.

He had finished tacking up his horse and worked on Del's white gelding, smearing black paint around

his eyes and stringing the Vashni browband across his face. When done, he looked over at me. "When

do you want to try this sparring match?"

I was inspecting the line of stitches in the stud's left haunch. "Oh, let's wait till we get to Alimat. I

figure what you did for the stud bought you a lesson or two, no audition necessary." I patted the stud's

rump well away from the stitched wound. "It looks good."

"My father taught me well."

I shook my head, leading the stud into daylight. "If you are the only son, you stand to inherit."

Neesha followed with his bay and Del's gelding. "Yes."

"Owning a horse farm is not a bad way to live."

"It's a good way to live."

"Then—"

He replied over the beginnings of my question, knowing what it would be. "Because it's not what I

dreamed about. Not what I wanted to do since—" He broke off, glanced away from me. "Since I first

understood what sword-dancing was. My father followed
his
father's footsteps, and his before his, but I

want to follow . . . well, I wanted to go elsewhere. To make my own way." Now we stood in the alley

not far from the cantina. "It may be a good life—I don't suggest it isn't—but it isn't the one I want. Not

yet. Maybe someday when I'm your age and want to retire, I'll use my winnings to buy my
own
horse

farm."

I nodded inwardly; I could admire a kid who wanted to make his own way in the world despite

having advantages. If he had any true talent for the sword, I'd find out; if not, I'd send him back to the

horses. Most didn't have that choice.

"Sword-dancing is a very hard life, Neesha. The work isn't steady, it's often painful, and now and

again there's a very real chance you could be killed, even if it isn't a death-dance. Accidents happen.

And outside of the circle, there are any number of jobs that could get you hurt or killed."

He nodded. "Abbu told me so."

I went very still. "Abbu Bensir?" ---------- '

"He was the sword-dancer who came through my village."

"Hunh." That put a different light on things. "How many lessons did he give you?"

"Four." A self-deprecating grin kindled quickly. "Enough to have him humiliate me but not enough to

dissuade me."

"You took lessons from Abbu, then decided to find
me
?"

"I decided to find you before then." His gaze on me was level. "I heard stories about you."

Ah, yes. The legendary Sandtiger. Abbu would certainly appreciate that. "Did you tell him that was

your plan?"

"No. It was my business, not his."

I released a low whistle of appreciation. "Had Abbu known, he might have offered to teach you

some tricks."

Neesha's smile was slight. "I knew that. But I didn't want to learn tricks. I wanted to learn the art. I

think Abbu believed I would change my mind."

I saw Del approaching. "You'll do," I said, patting the stud's neck. "At least, for a while."

He grinned. "Ten years? Or maybe seven, to match the shodo?"

"Or maybe six, to better him?"

Neesha didn't hesitate. He simply shook his head. "Who could?"

I laughed. "Abbu would say otherwise."

"Possibly. But I didn't come all this way to be Abbu's student."

Del came up and took the gelding's rein from Neesha's hand. "So, we are bound at last—again—to

the fallen chimney."

"Beit al'Shahar." I gave it the Vashni name. "Yes. And if I manage to accomplish my task, then we'll

head for Alimat. It's a good five or six days' ride from here, depending on the mood of the Punja. In the

meantime, we can start beating up on Neesha so he understands what schooling is
really
all about."

Del cast him a glance, expression questioning.

He nodded. "I am duly forewarned."

I mounted the stud. "Then let's ride."

Not far out of Julah we found and followed the faint trail of wheel ruts Del and I had come to

recognize, noting familiar landmarks. Somewhere along it we'd camped out on the way back from the

Vashni settlement, where Del had scattered the pieces of the necklet Oziri had given me. I was aware

that I no longer had any inclination to return to the Vashni encampment or to learn more about

dream-walking. I had used a form of it to read my mother's bones, but there was no desire in me to sort

out what my dreams meant. I
knew
what those involving the dead woman meant; by finding her bones,

I'd fulfilled half of her repeated commandment. Now all that was left was to take up my
jivatma
and

forget all about magery.

If I could.

Not long before sundown we rode up the familiar twisting trail to the top of the tree-hedged plateau.

The lean-to against the boulders still stood. I shook my head in bemusement, recalling how Del and I had

spent days there sick from sandtiger venom, and how Neesha had helped us both.

Apparently so did he, and so did Del. I saw them exchange long, intent glances. It was more than

mere memory, more than a friendly recollection worth reciting to others over food and drink, but

something strangely intimate. And indecipherable. It left me with an odd feeling in my belly. There was

nothing in Del's behavior suggesting she was attracted to Neesha, and she had even come right out and

said
there was no interest on her part. When drunk on Umir's liquor the kid had divulged his attraction to

her, but that didn't surprise me. Most men fell under Del's unintended spell merely by being in her

presence. I was used to that. But I had seen looks exchanged between them before, glances I couldn't

translate. Not the silent communication of lovers, but something else. Something—more.

But what more is there? You are lovers, friends, acquaintances, strangers, or enemies. I could attach

none of those descriptions to what I saw passing between Del and Nayyib.

Could she be lying? I didn't think so. She had explained once in Skandi that if she ever intended to

leave, she'd tell me. That, I believed. It wasn't Del's way to hide behind lies and subterfuge. She had also

demonstrated her affection for me in physical ways, ways that were no different than had been employed

before. Could a woman hide her attraction to a new man while sleeping with the old?

Well, yes. But not Del. Not with her honesty. She had never learned to dissemble.

And when Neesha had quietly bragged about his conquests of Silk and other wine-girls, it hadn't

been done in a way to kindle jealousy or to make a point, the way a man might if he wanted a woman

who refused him.

Which left—what?

I didn't know. Before Del, I'd kept myself to wine-girls and other women who wanted nothing more

than a night or two together. I'd never sworn myself to any kind of bond. Del and I were not

oath-bound, not vowed to one another save by what lived in our spirits. But I knew that could change.

That it had, for others.

Hoolies, it was too complex to think about right now, after most of a day spent on horseback.

I dismounted over by scraggly trees rimming the edge of the flat-topped bluff and set about unloading

and tying out the stud. The grass grazed down earlier by our horses had recovered somewhat, which

suggested no one had been here since I'd come looking for Del. She and the kid found separate places

for their mounts and began to unload as well. When the stud had cooled, I'd water and grain him; for