Sydney's Song (22 page)

A band was playing “It Had to Be You” and some other very beautiful, haunting melodies. And I wanted to cry. We danced the saddest dance of my life on the deck.

“I love you so much. Oh darling, never forget today.”

The next morning I picked up Pete from his uncle's at 5am. He looked so good moulded in a T-shirt of hand-painted gum leaves from an artist at The Rocks, my gift for his birthday. Yesterday I gave him a personalised opal key-ring. And a thin wallet because his looked like it should retire.

In the car the atmosphere was very tense, despite the morning host providing hilarious commentary on the radio. Pete reached for my hand and for most of the drive we laced our fingers tightly.

“Sydney, that's a Ferrari in front of us,” he tried to lighten the mood by joking, “Overtake it! Today's the only time you'll ever overtake a Ferrari in your life. Believe me.”

So I did, yeay… we had a laugh. Now how could I overtake a Ferrari very early in the morning before the traffic started? Because it was riding on top of a tow truck, of course.

That was one Ferrari driver with a few drinks too many on Valentine's night.

Soon after we lapsed into sorrow again.

“So, you're gonna look after yourself for me?”

“Yes.” I faced him at the red light, “I'm yours. Always.”

“Super. No flirting with uni boys? I'm not happy to be so far away from you while they can see you every day. So please play hard-toget. Put on that expression you had when we first worked at the call centre. The one that scared the boys away. It kinda made us feel we were all beneath you.”

I scrunched my nose at him.

We arrived at the airport very early because we wanted to spend as much time together this morning. Pete checked in only a single bag, leaving his other stuff at his uncle's. He left his violin at my house because he would return soon to play it again. But nothing made this separation easier.

“Let's get you something to eat.” He steered me to an Italian café.

He hand-fed me brekkie, as he rather seemed to love doing. I ate with great difficulty, and not much of it. All the time Pete talked softly in a quiet undertone, his wonderful voice asking me not to worry.

“You look so beautiful sad,” he smiled ruefully, “but I want you happy.”

“Aw Pete, can you?”

He swallowed. Could not answer.

He took my hand and silently whisked me up the lift to the waving gallery. I looked at him questioningly but he didn't say anything.

There was nobody up here this early in the morning.

Pete leaned on a pillar and buried his face in my hair, crushing me in a tight embrace. I buried my face in his neck, holding him tight.We did not say anything. We stood that way for a very long time.When we pulled apart there were tears hanging on his beautiful lashes and his nose was very red.

“I feel very special,” he smiled, wiping my wet cheek with a finger,“because I mean something to you.”

“You mean the world to me,” I declared passionately into his eyes.“You are very, very, very special.”

“Thank you,” he kissed the top of my nose. “After this, we shouldn't be put through this ever again, don't you think? I wouldn't be able to bear another separation. I don't like this at all. After this, we'll only go on trips together. Holidays. Or work. Okay?”

“I'd like that.”

He brought his right hand in front of me, curled in a fist. Pete had strong-looking hands, with beautiful long fingers, very clean short nails. I gasped when he opened his palm. He had a thin band of genuine jade. Like a simple wedding ring, about half a centimetre wide, marbled-green in colour. I looked up in askance and he gazed fiercely at me without saying any word. Silently he slid the cool stone onto my trembling finger.

“I love you,” he said in a quiet tone. “I'll come back for you very, very, very soon.”

We kissed like there was no tomorrow. And then he was gone.

Back at home, I found Pete's email, sent the night before his departure.

“I can't stop smiling thinking of your little beige summer dress, and it's making me think of other things too. I'll let you know one day, in time. And you keep on promising to do this and that for me one day. I'm counting, you know, and one day I'll extract every single one of your promises.

Sweetheart, you looked really grownup in that dress. Except that you were very innocent. Endearingly so. You didn't dress like that to exercise your wiles.

Have I ever told you I love the fact that you're untouched, that you don't sleep around, that you're stubborn and in control, and don't let others pressure you to do as they expect you to do?

Even Sinead respects you, thwarted that she is, failing horribly in her quest to convert you into a boozer. I often smiled watching you two being such thick friends. You allow others their choices, and you don't give a damn about what they think of yours.

You are so adorable.

OK love, I'm going to sleep now, or I'll still be sitting here tomorrow.

I'll dream of my pretty girl in an LBD.”

Little beige dress. The wretch! After being sad all day, I went to sleep grinning like an idiot.

Pete phoned me from New York as soon as his flight landed and my heart burst with joy as I had been pining for him. He was about to change for a flight to Boston where he planned to stay with his parents. He would go to New York only when required by the court.

“Darling, I couldn't stop thinking of you the whole flight! Missing you already.”

“That true? No lovely lady asking you to join the mile-high club?”

“Aw Sydney, I'm surprised at you,” he chastised. “How can you even think that?”

“I'm only young Pete, not dumb.”

“But honey, for me, there's only you. Remember Flo? There are many Flos in the world. And I don't want any of them.”

“So you aren't denying there are beautiful women around? Only that you don't want them? Oh Pete, I love you I love you I love you!”

He was calling from a phone booth, but as we talked I could hear his mobile phone ringing, I recognised the ring tone.

“Aren't you going to answer it?”

“It's Mom. Okay love, I'll call you back soon.”

“My class is about to start. I'll call you back. Perhaps you'll be in Boston. Wait, what's the time there? Will you be asleep then?”

“Call me anytime, no matter what. I miss you
so
much. Miss Australia too, it's freezing here. Anyway, don't forget to eat. Love you, honey.”

“Love you too.”

A Chinese classmate happened to be nearby as I closed this call.Smilingly she asked, “Your friend going to sleep? An international call?”

“Yes, Monica.” I was embarrassed that she could hear. Had I been loud?

“That's expensive, using a mobile phone. Do you know anything about the cheap international phone card?”

Working part-time on low pay, this sure piqued my interest.

“No, but tell me about it.”

“You buy them from the shops. Calling a landline gives you heaps more talking time than calling a mobile phone. I call my parents in Hong Kong all the time. Where are you calling to?”

“The US.”

“That's the cheapest destination! You get to talk thousands of minutes on a ten-dollar card.”

“Really? Quick, tell me where to buy one.”

Later that day I found Pete's latest email, explaining the ring.

“The jade is supposed to be a symbol of safety, peace of mind, kindness, and eternity. I want you to stay safe for an eternity. I still have a thousand things to tell you when you're 64, remember?”

I was eager, highly impatient, looking forward to calling Pete that evening. But because I wanted to chat without interruption, first I walked and fed Bronson, watered my plants, had dinner and showered. This would allow him to wake up at the normal time on a Boston morning. Relaxed, I punched the speed dial to his
cell
. I wanted to ask for his landline number so I could dial it from my home phone using the new phone card.

“Hello,” a woman picked up his phone.

For a moment I was confused. His Mom? Sounded like a younger woman. Must be his sister, Eve, who was six years older than Pete.

“Hi,” I said nicely. “This is Sydney. Is Pete available, please?”

“My husband isn't available,” replied the woman brusquely.

I was stunned. What was this?

“Come again?” I asked, bewildered.

“Who's this?” she countered.

“This is Sydney,” I answered, perplexed. Pete had told his sister about me. She should know. Hang on. This wasn't Eve, was she?What did she say? My sluggish mind could not believe it.

“And who is Sydney?” she probed.

All the joy drained out of my body. I felt very, very uneasy. I checked my phone screen, but it did display Pete's name and number.So I had not called a wrong number.

“Look, Pete is expecting my call,” I told her without answering her question. “Is he there, please?”

There was a silent moment. This person was digesting the information.

“My husband is in the shower,” she announced after a pause. Then she gave a throaty laugh. “We've just had the most satisfying all-night romp after years separated.” WHAAT??? “Pete has really missed me and my body! How he worships my body! Just, wow…”she laughed again as I listened in astonishment. “He's refreshing himself in the shower after hours of our mind-blowing sex.”

I took the receiver away from my ear, staring at it in disbelief. Did she really say what I thought she said? I saw that my hand was shaking.

“Pete needs me and he's
so
madly in love with me,” she continued.“And the sex is so combustive—we've really missed each other!We're so glad we are together again. This time for always.” (NO!!! It couldn't be!!!) “And I've missed him so. I'm wearing his shirt now,‘cause I miss his scent so much. Mmm, he smells yummy…”

Singed, I switched the phone off and dropped it like hot coals.

Heart hammering I ran to the backyard and scooped up Bronson.Man, how heavy he was! He was no Dimity. I put him down and stepped onto the lawn, staggered by the massive impact of the conversation. Hurt. Confused. Worried. ANGRY!!!

I looked around me. Paused at the sight of my herb beds. And the newly-planted roses.

Shivering in fear, I touched the jade ring. It felt cool and soothing around my finger. Gosh, was I promised to a married man? And who was I to compete with a woman he had once married and slept with?And still legally married to, at that.

“Pete loves me,” I stared at my ring. “He can't be so cruel.”

I took a deep breath. More deep breaths. Somebody, help me…

The home phone rang. I let it ring out. But it rang again. Sooner or later I would have to face the music. Since the suspense was killing me, with leaden steps and frayed nerves I approached the house. I picked up the receiver with a visibly shaking hand. Heart thudding.Dreading the hard truth.

“Honey?”

I couldn't say anything.

“Sydney, darling?” Pete asked in a concerned voice. “Are you there? Are you okay?”

Tears were running down my cheeks.

“Is it over, Pete?” My voice was so low and lame. “Are we over?”

“Pardon? What are you talking about?'

I did not answer.

“Love, are you crying? What's wrong? Please, tell me.” He sounded very worried. “I was in the shower. I heard my cell ring. But when I called you back your cell was turned off. And now you're crying. Honey… what's happened?”

Very kind tone. Genuine concern. Was he pretending? But my Pete had always been very honest. He did not have a single mean bone in his body. Perhaps this was stupid, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked, “What's your landline number there? I'll call you back.”