Table for five (37 page)

When had this boy grown so tall? Lily wondered, looking up at him. “Your mother was the best friend I ever had and I loved her with all my heart,” she said. “But I’m not going to make excuses for her. She made mistakes, just like everybody else. And this one was a doozy.”

“Lily, no one says ‘doozy’ anymore.”

She tried to smile. “What I’m trying to say is that being angry with your mother—and your father, for that matter—is a bad idea.”

“I loved them, okay?” he said in a low voice. “That’ll never change.”

Lily’s eyes blurred. “There was so much good in them, in your mother and father. So much love. They adored you from the first breath you took. You’re the best part of both of them, Cam, you know that?”

He shuffled his feet. “Yeah. Whatever.”

“All right. I won’t embarrass you anymore.” She looked at the ridge above the fairway. “I have to go,” she said.

He smiled a little. “I know. We’ll watch the girls.”

Burnished by the colors of the sunset, Sean looked like a figure out of a dream, and for a moment, Lily was afraid to say anything, for fear that she’d wake up and he’d disappear, unremembered. Then he turned to her and she felt silly. Nothing in her life had ever been as real as this moment.

“You’ve been busy,” she said.

He hooked his thumbs into his back pockets. “Yep.”

“You might have told me.” She tried to sound reproachful but couldn’t keep the happiness from her voice.

“I intended to, but there was this small detail about a tournament…”

“Sean.”

He opened his arms and she pressed herself against him, safe and sheltered, her heart so full she couldn’t speak.

“It’s going to be okay, Lily. There’s nothing Duncan wants from this.”

Because he already has what he wants, she thought. A hot sports agent, a dream career. “You gave it to him,” she said, drawing back to study Sean’s face. “You made sure he won today.”

“You,” he said, slowly lowering his mouth to hers, “have quite an imagination.”

It was, she realized, as much of an admission as she’d ever get from him. A moment later it didn’t matter, because his kiss sealed a promise he had made to her long ago.

The evening breeze held the subtle chill of autumn and she pressed even closer, hearing the steady thud of his heartbeat. Tell him, Lily, she urged herself, and it sounded like Crystal’s voice. Tell him now.

She was afraid, but for once she was going to ignore it. She stepped back, keeping hold of his hands. The potential for giddy joy was, she discovered, even greater than fear. Loving Sean had changed the way she looked at the world. Some days she felt like Dorothy in Oz, seeing things in color for the first time, and she was finally ready to tell him. “This isn’t the life I’d planned for myself,” she said. “I’m always a planner. Sometimes I plan right down to the last moment, and being with you, with this family, well, all my careful planning goes out the window.”

“I’ve never planned anything at all, and look. We both wound up in the same place. It’s because we’re supposed to, Lily. Believe it.”

“We might be a disaster together.”

“We probably are. So what? I love you, Lily. I love who I am when I’m with you, and I love that we’re both crazy about the kids.” He bent and gave her another lingering kiss. “In fact, we should make more.”

She gasped. “You’re getting ahead of me.”

“You don’t want more kids?”

Oh, my God, she thought. Oh, my God. “I love you so much, Sean.” The moment she spoke those words, she realized she’d answered his question for both of them. The fear was gone. In its place, like a fire kindled under her heart, was a constant sense of yearning and anticipation for everything life offered. She knew that that might be hurt or happiness, but the difference was that now, she welcomed it all. She wasn’t afraid to go where the heart might lead her.

“It’s about damn time you said so.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” she said. “It didn’t seem…safe.”

At that he laughed quietly and touched her cheek. “Ah, Lily. It never is, but don’t ever let that stop you.”

S
omething was up, Lily was sure of it. The invitation, hand-drawn by Charlie and hand-delivered by Cameron, gave only a hint: “Please have dinner with us at La Dolce Vita, Friday at 8:00. Dress: Semi-formal.” Charlie had spelled everything correctly and illustrated the message with a picture of the four of them lined up by height. On the far side of the page was a portrait of Lily, a flattering one at that; Charlie had made her look a bit like Malibu Barbie wearing glasses.

Charlie’s cursive writing was clear and bold, a contrast to the shaky, searching way she’d written in third grade. Her fourth-grade teacher reported that Charlie was working at grade level in most subjects. Occasionally, the little girl would seem to go away for a while, lost in sadness, but she always came back. Grief would forever be a part of Charlie’s life, a facet of who she was, but she was no longer so haunted by pain that she couldn’t grow and thrive. Her natural exuberance had returned over the summer, and Lily felt privileged to have been a witness to the process.

Cameron rejoined the golf team and had already won the
first tournament of the year. On the weekends, he caddied for his uncle, and Lily adored seeing them together, united in purpose, Sean treating Cameron as an equal and as the expert he was. Despite the fact that Sean had traded a major title for Ashley’s security, he was rising through the ranks. He would never be the champion his brother had been, Lily knew. The difference was, now he no longer wanted Derek’s career. He wanted his own.

Lily tucked the invitation into the frame of her vanity mirror and checked her hair and makeup—again. She felt a sense of gravitas about this evening. It was not just dinner. La Dolce Vita was a luxurious riverfront restaurant with a famous chef from Sorrento. With its formal gardens and air of luxury, it was the sort of place people went to celebrate their milestones—birthdays and anniversaries, bar mitzvahs and…engagements? After the tournament, after the things they’d said to one another, it was the next step. It had to be. Yet they’d gone their separate ways that night because Lily refused to stay over with him, not wanting to confuse the children. Then school started in a whirlwind of activity, and there never seemed to be enough time to explore what had begun between them that night.

The doorbell rang, startling her into smearing her lipstick. She quickly repaired the damage. Then, her nerves wound taut, she hurried to get the door. They all trooped in, filling her tiny house with their presence, and she gaped openmouthed at Sean. A tux. He was wearing a tux. Her knees went weak. Did he have any idea of how he devastated her? And the children looked glorious, Charlie with braids pinned on her head like a halo, Ashley all in pink and Cameron in a dinner jacket that made him look grown up and stunningly handsome. They stood waiting, polished and bright as new pennies, smiling at her.

“Wow,” Sean said, his gaze coasting over her from head to toe, then back up again. “Look at you.”

“I’m looking at everyone else.”

“Let’s just go. What’re we waiting around for?” Charlie was bouncing up and down with excitement until Cameron put his hand on her shoulder.

“Take it easy, moron,” he said. “It’s just dinner.”

“Is not. Uncle Sean’s going to ask Lily—”

“Lily, up,” Ashley said, tugging at her dress. “Please.”

Lily didn’t take her eyes off Sean as she picked up the baby. Ask Lily what? she wondered, aiming a look at him, but he was acting casual, whistling between his teeth. Oh please, she thought.
Please.

“Pretty,” said Ashley, plucking at the beads on Lily’s dress. She’d bought it new for tonight, though the black patent leather shoes and onyx-beaded bag had once belonged to Crystal. She opened the evening bag to put in her keys and noticed a slip of paper curled against the satiny lining. Unable to resist, she took out the note. It was a fortune from a fortune cookie that read, “The tide carries away and brings in. Lucky numbers 44, 25, 61, 78, 99, 17.” She wondered why Crystal had saved it. An image of her formed in Lily’s mind. I miss you so much, she thought. I always will.

Discreetly, she put the fortune back into the bag. Then she shared a look with Sean and wondered if she looked as apprehensive and helpless with love as she felt.

“Hang in there, Miss Robinson,” he said, lightly teasing. “This won’t hurt a bit.”

“Please can we go now?” Charlie asked in an agonized voice.

“I’ll drive,” Cameron said.

During the short drive to the restaurant, Charlie and Ashley chattered away. Lily kept trying to catch Sean’s eye yet he gave her nothing but a secretive, flirty smile. She contented
herself with watching the scenery out the window. The colors of autumn were creeping into the landscape—turning leaves, fields of yellow-eyed daisies along the water and mountains as crisp and white as sails against the topaz sky.

At the restaurant, a valet dressed like a gondolier took care of the car. “We’re early,” Lily said, checking her watch.

“Yep,” Charlie agreed, grabbing her sweater. “We wanted to go have a look at the gardens. Uncle Sean planned it this way.” Nearly bursting with excitement, she led the way beneath a laurel arch to the formal gardens. A plaque claimed that this was a replica of the Villa d’Este gardens in Italy. Lily was enchanted by the perfectly clipped box hedges, the symmetrical pebbled pathways and romantic arbors. Late-blooming verbena scented the air, and on the river below, barges and pleasure boats slipped past, gilded by the colors of sunset.

“Ducks,” said Ashley, gesturing at the water’s edge. “Want ducks.”

Cameron took the baby from his uncle. “I’ll take her to see the ducks. Let’s go, Charlie.”

“Put your sweater on,” Sean said to her, and bent to help her button it. A glossy red, white and green folder slipped from his jacket pocket and hit the brick-paved walkway. Charlie stooped to pick it up.

“What’s that?” Lily asked.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Charlie said, bouncing again. “It’s—”

“Tickets to Italy,” Lily whispered, recognizing the Alitalia logo. She stared at Sean in wonder. “These are tickets to Italy,” she said again. She counted them, five in all, and saw that the departure date was in late October, less than a month away.

He gave away nothing, though he blushed.
Blushed.
That was a first, for sure.

“What’s going on?” Lily asked. She felt unsteady, her high
heels wobbling on the pathway. Sean held out his hand and drew her over to a curved stone bench. Holding the baby and catching Charlie by the wrist, Cameron took the girls closer toward the river, though Charlie kept looking at them over her shoulder.

Lily was having trouble breathing.

“Have a seat.” Sean took the folder of tickets from her and set it aside.

“What’s this about Italy?” she said.

“How does Christmas in Amalfi sound to you?” he asked, smiling down at her. “There’s a tournament in Brescia. Red made all the arrangements, including the villa in Amalfi through to the New Year. The school agreed to let the kids do contract studies with you supervising. And Edna is behind your sabbatical a hundred percent. I checked.”

She could barely process the information. She wasn’t used to people making arrangements for her, including her in their plans. “We can’t just take off for Italy—”

“True. I need to ask you something first.”

This is it, thought Lily. Please let this be it.

She saw him sink down on one knee, and her heart took wing. She sensed the children watching them, and it seemed right, somehow, that they would bear witness to this. Lily felt a wave of gratitude for Crystal. It wasn’t just for the memories or even the years of friendship; her legacy to Lily was something far more precious and unexpected. Family didn’t have to be made of flesh and blood. This was the family she and Sean had created. They’d done everything backward, starting with the kids and then finding their way to each other. It wasn’t perfect, but they had done their best. I’ll take good care of them, Lily vowed to her friend. I’ll give every inch of my heart and never hold back. I swear I will.

“Lily, I love you,” Sean said. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

Her voice was gone. She knew if she forced herself to say something now, she’d lose it, ruining the moment by weeping with joy.

When she didn’t respond, he took her hand. She felt the cool smoothness of the ring he slipped on her finger, but she didn’t dare glance down at it. She didn’t want to look away from him for fear of breaking the spell.

“I’m the one saying the words,” he went on, “but it’s not just me that’s asking. It’s us. Me and the kids. We love you, Lily. We want to spend the rest of our lives with you.”

Her chest squeezed with emotion as she stood, pulling him up with her. “
Yes
seems like such a small, inadequate word,” she said.

“It’s all I need to hear from you.” He bent and kissed her, lingering just a little, then stepping back.

She saw him give the thumbs-up sign to the kids. She laughed aloud, feeling lighter than air as they headed toward the dining room. In the foyer, two doormen held open the doors. With endearing awkwardness, Sean put his hand on the small of her back and escorted her into the dim restaurant.

“Is it just the two of you?” the hostess asked.

“No.” Sean turned and motioned for the children to join them. “We need a table for five.”