Tackled by Love (13 page)

“Then what else does she want?”

“Alimony.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “You’re kidding me? After she went through all your money, she wants more of it?”

“That’s exactly what I thought too. I told her she got her alimony when she spent close to two million dollars on handbags and spas.” Autumn was taking a sip of wine the waitress had brought over and starts coughing when I tell her how much Valerie blew through.

After a sip of water and a couple pats to her chest, she gains her composure. “Two million dollars?!” she hisses in a loud whisper, leaning forward.

“I wish I could tell you I was lying, but that’s the sad truth.” I pick up my glass and take a gulp of my wine to wash the bitter taste those words leave in my mouth. How could I have been so stupid to not notice she was spending everything? Oh, because I thought my accountant was looking out for me. Fucking incompetent asshole.

“She’s a terrible person. I guess much hasn’t changed since high school.” I’m about to ask her what she means, when the waitress comes over to take our orders. This lady has the worst timing. I order the chicken fettuccini alfredo with a salad and Autumn gets a Caesar salad with grilled chicken.

Once the waitress leaves, I ask, “What did you mean?”

She tilts her head to the side. “Mean by what?”

“When you said Val hasn’t changed much since high school.”

Biting her lip again, she says, “She just wasn’t very nice to me, that’s all.”

I can tell she’s holding back and I want so badly for her to let me in. There’s always a guarded look in her eyes and I hate that it’s there with me. I want her to feel comfortable and carefree when we’re together.

“Why won’t you talk to me? I can see a sadness in your eyes when you think I’m not paying attention. It might make you feel better to talk to someone about it. Talking to you has helped me a little.”

“I just don’t want you to feel sorry for me, and I don’t need your pity either.”

“I promise. No pity. Scout’s honor.” I hold up three fingers in a scout’s salute.

With narrowed eyes, she asks, “Were you ever a boy scout?”

“No, but that’s just details.” I wave her off and she giggles a little. That sound is sweet music to my ears and causes me to smile in response.

“Okay,” she takes a deep breath, “I don’t know if you remember, but I was picked on in high school. A lot. The cheer squad and their team captain—
Valerie
-- were usually the ring leaders in all of it.”

We’ve all been teased a little in school, but by the way she refuses to meet my eyes and how she’s fumbling with her napkin, I can tell it goes beyond the occasional teasing. I think back to those days and try to remember anything about her, but I keep coming up short. I must have been in my own little bubble where my whole world revolved around football and getting a scholarship.

“I’m so sorry, but I don’t remember anything like that. Not sayin’ it didn’t happen or anything, I just can’t think of anything bad that stands out from those years.”

She lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Nothing that stands out,” she says to herself with a little shake of her head. “Well, plenty of it stands out to me. I was bullied relentlessly all through high school for my weight. Called horrible names and had even nastier pranks pulled on me. I was so lonely and couldn’t wait until I graduated. I hated every single person at that school. I hated the people who did it to me and the people who stood by silently and let it happen. I hated the teachers for never intervening and always looking the other way, and I hated myself for letting it get to me. All of it pushed me to want to lose weight, but for the wrong reasons. I wasn’t doing it because of my health, I was doing it to please the assholes of our town. That led me to developing an eating disorder where I was so obsessed with my weight that I jumped on the scale at least five times a day. The panic would set in if the number fluctuated even half a pound. I’d work out longer, eat close to nothing, and think about it 24/7. So then I was on the exact opposite side of the spectrum. It was just a terrible time in my life.”

I don’t know what to say. I’m so glad she’s opening up to me and exposing a vulnerable side that she clearly never talks about, but at the same time, it makes my heart ache. Knowing that she went through so much pain, hearing it in her words, makes me feel like a dick for never stepping in. If I hadn’t been so oblivious to everything around me, maybe I could have made a difference.

“You said Valerie and the rest of her team were the ring leaders. How did you know she was involved?” Not that I don’t believe her, I just can’t believe she would know and I wouldn’t. I spent every free second I had with her. Granted, that wasn’t a lot of time between school, practice, and studying, but any time I could find was spent with Val. I just thought she gossiped about people here and there. How could I not know she was bullying people to this extent?

She looks at me with cold eyes and pursed lips like I just pissed her off by asking. “Because most times she liked to brag about it afterwards,” she snaps back. “Telling me how she designed the ‘PORKY XING’ signs that hung in the cafeteria and how time consuming it was to find the perfect picture of me for them. Or how she was able to get into my locker to put the bucket of slop in there. Or how she got someone to dump honey in my hair so that it would attract bees and make me run. She said it might actually help me not be a fat ass anymore. She took great satisfaction and pride in my misery.” Her voice has trailed off to a whisper by the time she’s finished talking, and I’m seething. Who is that fucking mean? Autumn is such a kind person, how could anyone want to intentionally hurt her?

“That fucking hypocrite. All those times she put on that damn smile at those events when she was capable of things like that?” My fists are clenched under the table and it’s taking everything in me not to drive my ass back to my old house, kick her out of it, and tell her that she’s not getting shit from me. Fuck her.

“Calm down, Landon. It was a long time ago. And this is why I didn’t want to tell you because now you feel sorry for me. Stop it.” She’s speaking in a firm tone now. My eyes lock with hers and I see a change. There’s still the hint of sadness lurking in those big greens, but there’s also an inner strength. That must be what got her through those years. “What were you talking about just a second ago? You started mumbling something about smiles and events.”

Taking a few deep breaths, I hold the last one and let it out slowly before answering. “I was really involved in anti-bullying campaigns across the country. I used to volunteer during the off season and mentor kids on how to deal with bullies and ways to channel their energy. I spoke at dozens of schools discouraging that kind of behavior and Valerie was by my side the whole time. She seemed just as passionate about it as me. She’d comfort kids who told stories of being picked on and would jump at the chance to come to all the functions I went to in support of it. And to think she was one of those heartless people I was advocating against.” I shake my head as the initial anger dies down and is replaced with disbelief.

We’re both silent for a few moments, letting it all sink in. At least that’s what it is for me. She’s had years to let it soak in for her. The waitress stops by and gives us our food. It all looks really good, but I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.

Finally, Autumn breaks the silence. “I guess I’m just surprised that no one ever asked me why I had gained the weight. It’s not like I wanted to look like that, you know?” As much as I hate that we’re talking about something that obviously still torments her, I’m happy as shit that she’s letting me in, confiding in me.

I nod. “What happened?”

“My mom died when I was 12-years-old.” She’s pushing her food around her plate with her fork, not eating any of it. Looks like I’m not the only one who lost my appetite.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea. If you don’t mind me asking, how’d she die?” Giving up on trying to eat, I gently push my plate to the side and lean my elbows on the table to give her my full attention.

“A brain aneurism. We had no clue that she had it, so it was really sudden and unexpected. My mom was my dad’s whole life. His world revolved around her and there wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for her. They had such a strong, powerful love, like the ones in the movies. When she died, a big part of him did too. You could see the light in his eyes just vanish. He was moving and talking, but he was really just going through the motions of life since he was so lost without her. While he occupied space in a numb, zombie-like way, I was left to grieve for my mother alone. I had no one comforting me or telling me it would be okay. My dad completely checked out on me. For a while I was pretty angry with him. I wanted to scream at him and tell him that I was still alive and that I needed him. But looking back, I understand now that he didn’t know how to cope any more than I did. He coped by checking out on everyone, and I coped by turning to food. I started eating my emotions, and soon enough, I was overweight. By the time my dad finally came around and started acting like a normal human being again, the damage was done. I’d already developed a relationship with food and used it as a crutch for everything.”

“You said earlier that you had an eating disorder. How’d you get healthy again?” She’s sniffling, trying to hold back the tears. I grab her hand and hold it tight, trying to comfort and give her strength.

“I started fainting from lack of food after a little while. My hair was falling out, my mood swings were out of control, and my hormones were all over the place. My dad noticed a difference and sat me down. I realized that I was still hurting myself, but in a different way. Once again, I was letting my classmates win and tear me down. I took a vow then that I wouldn’t let their ugliness sneak its way into my life ever again. I got healthy, lost weight the right way, and have managed to keep it off.”

“I’m glad you’re not hurting yourself anymore. None of those assholes are worth your time and you shouldn’t give any of them a second thought. You’re too good for them. If they couldn’t see you for the beautiful person you were then, then fuck them.”

She gives me a small smile and it doesn’t escape me that I was one of those people that didn’t notice her back then. For a brief moment, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had noticed her, if I had stopped the bullying. Would we have been friends? Would her life have been better? Would I have fallen for her and married her instead of Val? So many what-ifs and none of them mean shit.

“So tell me about her,” I say, trying to change the subject a little. I release her hand and lean back in my chair with my wine in hand.

“Who?” Her face pulls into a slight frown that’s full of confusion.

“Your mom. I want to hear about her. What was she like?” I take a drink of wine and wait for her to start.

A slow smile creeps across her beautiful porcelain skin and her face lights up. “My mom was amazing. The most caring, understanding, and loving person I’d ever known. She was so strong and wise and could cook a mean lasagna. She’d always wait in the kitchen for me after school and…”

And that’s how we spend the rest of the evening. She told me story after story about her mom and I gladly listened. It’s the most I’ve seen her smile, which makes me want to do it more. With each story she tells and giggle she lets escape, I can tell that I’m slowly falling for this girl.

Piece by piece.

As we drive back to my place, I can’t wipe the smile off of my face. I’m lost in my own thoughts from this night when Landon’s voice startles me. “Whatcha smiling about over there, sweetheart?”

“Nothing, I just had a good night, that’s all.” I give a little shrug, not wanting to give away how much I really like him, in case he doesn’t feel the same way.

“I had a really good night too. In fact, this is probably the most fun I’ve ever had on a date.” He picks my hand up off my lap and kisses it. My stomach drops and fills with butterflies as my pulse races and my skin warms.

I bite my lip trying to hide my smile. “Uh huh, I’m sure you say that to all the girls,” I tease.

“Nope, just you.” The car is stopped at a red light and he’s staring deep into my eyes. With it being so dark outside, I can’t see the different flecks of green and brown in his eyes, but the heat pouring out of them is hard to miss. The intensity has me clenching my thighs together and breathing heavy. Slowly, he leans in and brushes his lips against mine, sending a spark straight through me. The slightest hint of wine lingers on his lips, but he’s what intoxicates me. His hand goes around the back of my neck and into my hair, pulling me closer. He parts my lips with his tongue and I happily allow him access. I run my hand up his firm chest and am half tempted to climb into his lap, when I hear a horn honking. We pull away and notice that the light has turned green and we’re holding up traffic. Landon puts the car in gear and drives, while I calm down and take a deep breath. Straightening out my clothes, I run my hand over my lips to fix any smudges, and my hair to smooth down any strays.

In a quiet, husky tone, Landon says, “I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t help myself. I want to devour every inch of your skin every second I’m with you, and I think about all the places I want to feel you when I’m not.” And if I didn’t need new panties before, I definitely do now. I’ve never had a guy turn me on like this with simple words. His eyes remain on the road, but each syllable has left a hot trail straight to my most intimate parts. Because my brain has completely fizzled out, I’m left speechless. “Did I scare you?” He glances over at me with a sexy grin on his face.