Tainted by Temptation (10 page)

Velvet set out glasses and a bottle of wine. Lucian reached for the wine and put his thumbs on the cork, prying it out. She had to tear her gaze away from his long-fingered hands. She didn’t even have to guess how his hands on her would feel. She knew.

“Can I have some?” said Iris, her eyes on the bottle.

“No, you’re not old enough. You can have water,” answered Lucian without hesitation.

“I’m not a baby,” pouted Iris.

Lucian picked up his daughter’s glass, splashed a thimbleful of wine into the bottom and added water to nearly the rim. The mixture was barely pink.

Iris breathed in deeply and her eyebrows had flattened.

“I’d like water with my wine too, please,” said Velvet, hoping to stave off a disagreeable snit.

Lucian gave in to his daughter far too easily and too often. The girl needed a steady dose of discipline, not the careless disregard that her father used with her. But an outing was not the time to be stern. Velvet held out the platter of sectioned chicken to Iris.

“Can I eat with my fingers?” asked Iris.

“Of course you may,” answered Velvet. “It is a picnic, and Mrs. Bigsby has packed plenty of napkins.”

Iris took a drumstick, while Lucian poured a finger of wine in her glass then raised his eyebrow. Velvet gave a quick nod. She probably should have had him fill it to the rim. Drinking heavily might ease her terror when she had to cross the isthmus again.

A salad and sliced bread rounded out their simple meal. Although she probably shouldn’t risk the sun, Velvet removed her hat to eat. Lucian’s gaze on her hair made her regret calling attention to herself.

She jerked her head in Iris’s direction, and the faintest of smiles crossed his face before he turned toward the girl. “After we eat, would you like to walk down to the shore?” he asked.

Iris nodded happily.

“You might want to look inside Merlin’s cave.” For once he seemed relaxed instead of tense, but he still managed to turn his body so the unscarred side of his face was toward them.

That such a virulent man would be so disconcerted by his scars surprised Velvet. But she didn’t know what it would be like to face a disfigurement in the mirror every day. The only marring she had was a café au lait stain in the shape of a half-moon on her hip. The mark had been with her from birth. The midwife was pleased to find a unique feature, although it hadn’t proved to be the least bit necessary.

“Do you like it here, Papa?”

“The scenery is beautiful.” His eyelids lowered slightly. He glanced Velvet’s way for just a second before returning his attention to his daughter.

Heat washed through Velvet. She tried to distract herself from his presence by looking at the ocean. “Lovely.”

Iris wiped her greasy hand on her skirt. Velvet winced but refrained from offering censure. She pulled one of the spare napkins from the basket and put it on Iris’s lap. “Here, lamb.”

“You would do well to follow Miss Campbell’s example. Her manners are exemplary.” Lucian wiped his mouth with his napkin. “A lady in London must have good manners or no one will invite her anywhere.”

Velvet looked from father to daughter. Was he so eager to be rid of her that he was already planning her debut on the marriage mart?

Iris’s face scrunched and she turned to Velvet. “Is that true?”

“Yes, much is expected of young ladies there.” She tilted her head slightly and risked a glance at Lucian. “Good manners are not the least of it.”

He shrugged and nodded toward Iris. “I’m told you pine for London, Miss Campbell.”

“No,” she blurted before she could think. She didn’t miss the knowing looks, the insults, or any of the things that had come of her life in London. She didn’t like fearing that strangers knew her reputation and made assumptions about what she would do. And not just strangers. She pressed her lips tightly together.

Lucian watched her.

Even he had made assumptions about her willingness to behave as a fallen woman would. She stirred her salad on her plate. He was wrong. Virtue might be a slim comfort, but it was all she had left.

Lucian stretched out his legs and leaned back on his elbows.

His casual pose made her long to stretch out beside him in a carefree manner. But such allowances led to inappropriate behaviors. She should have guarded her boundaries better in her last position. She was not a part of the family, and to forget her place created problems.

She’d allowed loneliness and isolation to provide an excuse for forging a friendship. While she hadn’t thought a friendship based on mutual exchange of ideas a problem, it had led her down a path of destruction.

Lucian didn’t have a wife to object. Nor had he left her in any doubt of what the nature of a relationship with him might be, but she couldn’t allow herself to be tempted. Her curiosity about his ventures couldn’t be indulged. Encouraging him to discuss his business with her would be too much like the way she had given her former employer the wrong impression. She was here as a governess. She’d find friendships outside the family or do without.

So when he suggested they go down to the shoreline, she insisted she would stay behind, finish eating, and explore the ruins. Iris’s gay chatter drifted back as the father and daughter moved down the grassy bank, skirting the hulking slabs of granite pushing through the land.

Velvet wiped the plates with a napkin and repacked the basket, taking care to position everything so nothing would spill. While Lucian and Iris threw rocks in the water and attempted to float boats made of leaves, she walked the crumbling stone walls.

While her strength had improved in the days since she arrived, she didn’t want to test it too much and sat down to wait until Lucian and Iris tired of exploring the sandy shoal. For once Iris seemed carefree, skipping and smiling at her father. Lucian stooped to dig a shell out of the sand with the girl.

They finally returned, coming up from the shore. Iris’s cheeks were pink. She chirped like a magpie about the special caves. Her pinafore pockets bulged with treasure.

“We should head back soon or we’ll have to travel after dark.” Lucian scooped up the basket.

“No,” wailed Iris. “I don’t want to go.”

“We can’t stay here forever.” Lucian started up the rise to the top of the promontory.

Velvet stood, pulled up the blanket and began folding it. She bent over and whispered in the girl’s ear. “If you would like your papa to take you anywhere again, you should thank him for the day. If all he remembers is that you didn’t want to go home, he won’t want to take you on other outings.”

Iris’s stared at her, her big blue eyes filling with moisture.

“Go on,” urged Velvet. “And I will do my best to persuade him to take another trip.”

“He only wanted to go because of you.”

Had
he been more interested in spending the day with her? If so, he must be disappointed. But if he wanted her to be his mistress, he couldn’t accomplish that on a picnic with his daughter along. Velvet shook off her thoughts.

“But did he not spend most of the day with you? Did he not enjoy skimming rocks and crawling through caves?” Velvet shuddered. “He would not have enjoyed those things with me, because I wouldn’t have enjoyed them.”

Iris just stared at her.

“I have tried to stay out of the way of you and your papa, so that you may have the time together. He seemed to enjoy the day almost as much as you have. What would you have wanted different?”

Iris’s eyes grew very wide. Her mouth pursed. Then she darted forward and threw her arms around Velvet’s waist.

Startled by the sudden pressure of the girl’s embrace, Velvet slowly wrapped her arms around the girl. It was the first time Iris had initiated a hug. Velvet’s throat felt thick with humbling joy. She was getting through to her.

“I’ve had so much fun,” Iris said into her waist. “Most of the time everyone forgets about me.”

A bittersweet ache settled into Velvet’s chest. “I think you have had about as much fun as can be had in one day. Now run on and thank your papa for bringing you here, and it wouldn’t hurt to tell him how much you enjoyed this trip.”

Iris nodded and ran after Lucian.

The day had been good for all of them. Too often both she and Iris grew frustrated in the schoolroom. Even the austereness in Lucian’s face seemed to have eased. She set out after the pair.

Steeling for crossing the steep narrow passage to the mainland, Velvet sucked in a deep breath. She followed them up the rise, all the while telling herself she could do it. With luck they would not turn around and see her terror.

After the rise in the land, the narrow path yawned before her. Iris ran without a care to catch up to her father.

Velvet’s heart squeezed as a thousand images of the girl falling ran through her head. Her carefully controlled emotions erupted. “Iris, be careful!”

The world seemed to tilt and rock madly.

Lucian turned and looked back. Iris blithely continued across.

Velvet took a step forward. The ocean churned on either side of the plummet. Her stomach somersaulted. She tried to tell herself it wasn’t a long fall, but her feet refused to take another step. How could she cross when she felt woozy?

She pressed her hand to her mouth, trying to hold back her horror. Twisting away, she looked toward the solid land, trying to regain her composure. She could cross the narrow strip. She had to. If she just kept her eyes on the ground in front of her feet. She’d crossed earlier. She could do it again.

Hands closed on her shoulders. “Velvet, are you all right?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What is wrong? You’re trembling.”

“I’m sorry. I just . . .”

Lucian’s hands left her shoulders, and then his coat was around her, enveloping her in his scent.

“Iris said you’re afraid of the ocean.”

“No.” She was afraid of falling, smashing apart on rocks. Velvet turned toward him.

His concerned dark eyes searched hers. “Are you feeling ill? You look pale.”

“I was just a little dizzy. I’m sure I’ll be fine now.” She stared into his eyes. Anything was better than looking at the long drop.

“I’ll carry you across.”

“No, that would be improper.”

“You can limp and feign a twisted ankle.” His mouth twisted to the side. “Or whatever you feel is necessary to preserve your reputation.”

“I don’t lie.” Oh damn, but she should have.

“Everyone lies, especially those of your sex.” He wrapped one arm around her back.

His cynicism cut through her irrational terror.

“Hang on,” he commanded as he bent and placed his arm across the back of her legs and lifted her.

“I can walk,” she protested.

Lucian grunted as he took a sliding step.

Oh God, they would both fall now. Her heart beat so fast she thought it might burst. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to pretend she wasn’t such a weakling.

“I have you,” he huffed out.

His steady stride reverberated through her body, and she just tried to breathe and not strangle him.

His breathing grew ragged as he climbed the slope. Once they reached the flat ground, he set her down. “Can you walk from here?”

Velvet tried to step away from him. Her cheeks burned. Her heart was still tripping. “Yes, yes of course.”

Iris ran along the lane with her hoop and stick. The coachman and groom were putting the horses in their traces.

She pushed a shaking hand to her forehead. The menservants were probably pretending to not notice that their master had just carried the governess across from the peninsula.

“Come along.” Lucian kept his arm around her back and guided her.

He was strong and protective, and she just wanted to lean into him and absorb his calm. She supposed she should explain. “I’m so sorry. It’s just that I’m—”

“I know,” he cut her off. “John, would you fetch the blanket from the other side. Miss Campbell is not feeling well.”

He knew she was terrified of falling? Of course her fear had been obvious. She felt like such a ninny. How could she have allowed her panic to get the better of her? He probably thought her ridiculous—or worse, pretending an ailment to get him to carry her.

Allowing him to hold her and carry her was the worst thing she could have done. Because now she just wanted to give in and remain in his arms. More than his arms around her and the warmth of his strong body tempted her. His kindness and concern, even his daylong attendance on his daughter, made her see him differently.

He was a good man, a kind man, not just a man preying on a penniless governess in his employ. He was a better man than the undersecretary, who hadn’t allowed her the right of a choice. The distance she’d kept between them all day was for naught. If he kissed her, she would fall into his bed. She could resist the pull today or tomorrow, but not for the weeks or months ahead.

L
ucian handed Velvet into the carriage. She’d nearly confessed her condition within earshot of the groom and coachman. Starting the servants gossiping about her pregnancy before she was showing would only make life miserable for her.

“I am sorry for being so silly,” she said. “I thought I would fall.”

“If I had known you were feeling so poorly, I would have delayed the outing.” But he was almost glad of her dizzy spell. Carrying Velvet with her head tucked into his shoulder had made him want to cherish her and shelter her from harm.

Lilith had been prone to nausea and dizzy spells in the early months of her pregnancies. After she passed the midpoint, she settled into a glowing period of good health. Velvet must not be very far along yet.

“No, I would have insisted.” Her face earnest, she leaned toward him and put her fingers on his sleeve. “You don’t know how much your attention to Iris means to her.”

The day spent with Iris had gone well enough. He’d even enjoyed it once she settled into just enjoying the adventure. She had been full of curiosity and laughter, and not grasping for his notice every second. But his motives were less chivalrous. Even now Velvet’s light touched burned through his sleeve, and he’d wanted her notice.

But more than that, he’d enjoyed talking to her. Her mind was quick. Hell, he’d enjoyed looking up from the shoreline, and just knowing she was close had him feeling lighter, less burdened. He’d wanted to seduce her, but found himself just enjoying her company. He didn’t want to like her. He’d seen her press her hand to her belly. The worst thing he could do was fall for another woman like Lilith, who was carrying another man’s baby.

Velvet bit her lip as she removed her hand and settled on the seat. “I fear she desperately needs your affection right now.”

Lucian narrowed his eyes. “Do not be fooled by her deceitful tactics. She would cajole and whine until she gets what she wants.”

Velvet’s eyes narrowed. “She has to do little of that to convince you to buy her things, but—”

“I have no patience for the gamesmanship.” He knew he gave in too easily, but like her mother, Iris could make life miserable if she fell into a pet. Restraining his irritation, he turned away. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he called, “Iris, come now or we shall have to leave you here.”

“If I may be so bold, more gifts are not what she needs,” said Velvet. “She—”

“You may not. I appreciate that her manners and conduct have improved, but I do not welcome your assessment of my behavior.”

“I see.” Velvet dipped her head. “Forgive me for overstepping my role.”

Lucian sighed. She didn’t understand, and he had probably destroyed any trust he’d gained. Rubbing his forehead, he leaned his head into the carriage. “I have no reason to deny her gifts, but I cannot spend all hours of the day with her. I have affairs to see to.”

“She thinks her mother wants her to die to be with her.” Velvet plucked a piece of grass from her skirt. “I was not sure I should tell you.”

Lucian’s throat tightened. “It is another of her wiles.”

Velvet shook her head. “I do not think so. I am not so easily persuaded by her fractious behavior. This was different.”

He was sure Iris didn’t remember her mother in any real way. Lilith had pushed her daughter away at every opportunity. He’d spent more time with her today than Lilith probably spent with Iris in the last year of her life. But perhaps she had some memories. “Her mother doesn’t want her . . . with her.”

“Yes, I told her no mother wants her child to die young.” Velvet leaned toward him, her hand outstretched. “Her mother would want her to live a long and happy life, marry, have children, grandchildren.”

Any mother but Lilith would want that for her child. Lilith hadn’t liked it when people noticed Iris instead of her. The door handle cut into his hand. Velvet had all the mothering instincts his wife had lacked. She couldn’t possibly understand. A dull ache crept into his chest.

“Velvet . . .” He hesitated. What could he tell her about Lilith? She hadn’t possessed a single giving bone in her body. She’d soaked up affection until everyone around her was drained dry. Iris was so like her in many ways.

Skinny arms banded around his waist, “Papa, I love you.”

His throat tightening, he swiveled, pulling out of the child’s embrace. Or was she different? Lilith only declared her love when she wanted something. God help him, but he always tensed waiting for the demand that followed the words.

“I have had the best day ever,” gushed Iris.

“Here, up in the carriage.” Lucian lifted her inside.

Iris giggled and settled in beside her governess. “Did Papa call you Velvet? Is that your name? What kind of a name is Velvet?”

Lucian nodded to the coachman then swung into the carriage. Velvet’s green eyes turned distant. Why
did
she have a whore’s name?

“It’s the only thing my mother said of me,” Velvet said softly. “I guess my father decided she’d meant it to be my name.”

He watched her face. Her soft smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Didn’t he ask her?” asked Iris.

The carriage lurched forward. Velvet’s hand shot out to keep Iris on her seat.

Velvet’s brow wrinkled. “She didn’t survive long after my birth.”

“You grew up without a mother too?” Iris looked up at Velvet, her eyes wide.

“Yes.” Velvet’s lips tightened.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Lucian held back from leaning toward her. His desire to offer comfort was almost foreign to him. Yet, his spine knotted. He’d thought of her pregnancy as protection for him. After all, if she was already with child, he didn’t have to worry about impregnating her with a flawed seed. But he’d never considered the dangers of childbirth. A cold hand gripped his nape.

Her head turned in his direction, and for a second their eyes met and a connection sparked between them.

“It is hard to miss what you’ve never known.” Velvet spoke in a quiet voice while she tightened her ribbons under her chin.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” asked Iris.

He turned to look out the window at the passing countryside. If his children had lived, Iris would have had two brothers and a sister.

“I did,” said Velvet. “I had a brother.”

Releasing his fisted hand, Lucian let out the pensive breath he held and turned back to catch Velvet’s gaze.

She dipped her head but not before he caught the mist in her green eyes.

“What happened to him?”

“Iris, you are being impertinent.” Lucian watched Velvet.

She held up a hand. “It is all right. He died when we were twelve.”

“A twin?” he asked. Dismay carved out a hole in his gut. Twins were doubly dangerous to a mother. Did twins run in her family?

“Papa, you are being pertinent,” objected Iris.

“Yes, a twin. I was the elder by about two hours.” Velvet looked down at Iris. “And you mean impertinent, and it is doubly bad manners to correct your father.”

“Even if he is
im
pertinent?”

“Especially then,” Velvet responded in her melodic voice. “Children should not correct their elders.”

“If we are making you uncomfortable, you will say so,” he said. But he wanted to know everything about her. What her childhood had been like, what had led her to being a governess and then a mistress to her employer?

He started to ask a question, but the carriage swayed and Iris and Velvet leaned in tandem. With Iris present he could not probe too deeply into Velvet’s life.

“Where did you grow up?” asked Iris.

“In Dorset, in a village called Brixvale. My father was the vicar of the church there.” Her voice curled under his skin, pleasant and warm like a puff of apple wood smoke as she described the orchard and rolling hills near her childhood home.

He tried not to appear engrossed, but he was. How had a vicar’s daughter managed to fall so far from grace?

“What made you become a governess?” he asked.

“When my father died, I could not stay in the vicarage. The new vicar and his wife were coming. I was fortunate in that Lady Durnham offered me a temporary position as governess to her niece.”

“Her niece?” echoed Lucian. “I thought you taught her two sons.”

“Yes, Master James and Master Steven.” Her voice quivered on the name Steven. She rushed her words as she explained she’d supervised the niece for a few months before the young woman’s marriage and had also taught the boys.

“It was decided I had a better command of Latin and mathematics than their tutor, so I was kept on to instruct the boys.”

“You were fond of Master Steven?” he asked.

“I was . . .” Velvet twisted her hands together. “Of course, I’m f-fond of him. I’m fond of all my former . . . pupils.”

Her uncertainty betrayed her. A white-hot pain knifed through him. Was she as “fond” of the undersecretary? He leaned back against the squabs and crossed his arms. His hands fisted.

He shouldn’t care anyway. Staring out the window, he saw nothing of the passing scenery. What he needed was a wife, not a mistress.

He certainly didn’t need to repeat the mistakes he had made with Lilith. He needed a moral woman, not a discarded temptress in the family way. On his next trip to London he would let it be known he was ready to remarry. With his fortune, finding a good decent woman shouldn’t be impossible.

But damn it all to hell. All he’d thought about during the day was the sun glinting off Velvet’s hair. He wanted to let it down and thread his fingers through the copper strands. He wanted to twine it around them as they lay naked in his bed, but she continued to use Iris as a buffer between them.

When they arrived home after dark, Iris’s slack weight pressed against Velvet’s side as the carriage rumbled along the rutted drive.

“She’s asleep, isn’t she?” Lucian’s voice cut through the darkness.

Awareness of how close he was sent a shock through her. “Yes.”

He’d silently stared out the window most of the trip. At times he seemed broody and lost in his musings, but she didn’t dare offer a penny for his thoughts. She didn’t have a penny, for one thing, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know his thoughts.

The carriage rattled to a halt, and the coachman opened the door. The small circle of the coach light illuminated the base of the stairs.

“Iris, sweetheart, wake up.” Velvet jiggled the girl’s shoulder.

“Don’t. I’ll carry her in.” Lucian leaned forward and put a hand on Velvet’s arm.

Her heart skittered.

Rolling Iris toward him, he lifted her limp body and held her against his shoulder. Velvet tried to ignore the brush of his hands as he gathered up his daughter. But tingles rippled away from places of contact. Without raising her eyelids, Iris curled into him.

His tenderness with his daughter made Velvet forgive his indulgences. Would that her father had ever thought she deserved anything she asked for. But she stuffed down the uncharitable thought. Her father had done the best he could for her, and there was a time when he had been indulgent. When he withdrew his affection, she knew she deserved his cool disdain for leading her brother to his death.

Lucian climbed out of the carriage and waited while she descended. The chill night air cut through her.

She followed him and the groom holding the lantern up the broad stone staircase and into the dark entry hall.

As if he didn’t need a light, Lucian headed up the stairs to the nursery floor. Carrying Iris didn’t slow his ascent. Velvet more carefully picked her way through the dark house.

When she entered Iris’s room, the soft glow of the fire illuminated Iris’s golden hair and Lucian’s dark head as he bent over and unbuttoned his daughter’s shoes. Her pelisse was draped over the chair where her clothes often landed. Velvet picked it up and hung it in the wardrobe. She gathered the nightgown laid out on the foot of the bed.

The shoes softly thumped on the floor. Lucian urged Iris under the covers.

“If you hold her up, I can put on her nightgown,” whispered Velvet.

Lucian stood and gently tugged the nightgown from her fingers. With his hand on Velvet’s shoulder, he guided her out of the room. He gently clicked the door shut behind him.

“It won’t hurt her to sleep in her clothes for one night.” His voice was a low burr near her ear.

He slid his hands across her shoulders and removed her cloak. The skim of his touch down her arms left behind trails of heat. Her heart hammered.

Only the moon coming in the uncovered windows lit the dark schoolroom. The black hole of her bedroom door gaped in front of her. He nudged her toward it.

She froze.

He bumped her from behind, and the shock of feeling the full length of his hard body against hers made a shudder ripple through her.

He cupped her shoulders as if to steady her. “Blast, it is dark. Why isn’t your fire lit?”

Because she was only the governess, not the pampered and indulged daughter of the house. “No point in burning a fire when I’m not here.”

His hands ran up and down her arms, warming her. “Yes, but you are cold. I’ll light it.” But he made no move away from her.

She wanted to lean back into him and soak up his warmth. The rhythm of his breathing changed, and his fingers tightened on her shoulders. Her skirts shifted as he moved infinitesimally closer. Her heart thudded in her throat.

His fingers slid along her shoulders, then up her neck. Finding the ribbons of her hat, he gently tugged them free.

First her cloak and then her hat. He was undressing her. Still, she did nothing. She didn’t turn to face him. She stood wooden and mute.

He pressed his lips against her bared neck. His mouth was warm and tempting. Liquid fire raced through her body. She could turn into his arms and let this inferno of want and need consume her.

Her knees buckled. A sound too like a moan passed through her lips.

He pressed closer, supporting her. Her shoulder blades brushed his chest, sending sparks along her skin.