Tainted Grace (11 page)

“Zoe, come in with me?” his voice was laced with a hint of pleading.

I turned, naked, to face him. The light that was streaming through the small bathroom window was now gone, leaving the bathroom bathed in candle light that cast moving patterns across Boggs and the walls. The effect of the light reflecting off of the bathwater was mesmerizing. I slowly stepped toward the bathtub, keeping my gaze focused on Boggs. His eyes were wide, a look of shock forming on his face.

“Boggs?
What’s wrong?” I asked, worry already growing deep within me.

“Zoe…your hip…” his voice trailed off.
His hands were on the sides of the bathtub, as if he were ready to jump out and come to me.

I twisted slightly and looked down at the hip I had injured on the day that the dead had first risen.
It had healed weeks ago, but green streaks remained as a reminder of the cruel fate I was to bear. The green streaks had darkened since I had last looked at it, and were spreading upward toward my belly. They fanned out in an intricate pattern as if reaching toward the baby growing within me. I startled, my breath catching in my chest. I looked up at Boggs, feeling helpless.

“Boggs?
What’s happening to me?”

He was already standing beside the bathtub, dripping water all over the floor.
He knelt before me, inspecting the lines marring my complexion. I was beginning to tremble. The green streaks looked as if they were death itself trying to claim the life of my child.

Boggs placed a warm hand on my cold skin.
His touch instantly helped calm me.

“I’m not sure, Zo.
Does it feel different?”

“Just achy, but it always does after I’ve been near the dead.”

He shifted so that he was on both knees and wrapped himself around me tightly, resting his head low on my belly.

“Zoe, you’re freezing,” he mumbled into my skin.
“We’ll have Gus look you over later, but right now let’s just warm up.” He pulled his head back and looked up at me. “Ok?”

I nodded.
“Ok.”

Boggs stood and held me close.
He kissed my forehead before stepping into the warm water, and then helped me balance while I stepped in after him. The warm water on my feet was so relaxing that I sagged against Boggs. He turned me around so that I was facing away from him and then slowly lowered me into the water. I slumped between his legs and let my body relax one muscle at a time as I settled in against his chest. The warmth, quiet, and comfort brought my thoughts to earlier in the day. Despite the horrors of fighting the horde of living dead and the terror of coming face to face with one of them earlier in the day, I had been left craving more of the peaceful sensation that I had experienced while face to face with evil.

“You falling asleep?” whispered Boggs.

I shook my head back and forth. “No.”

“Your breathing slowed.
You seemed so relaxed.”

I turned around enough to look up into his eyes.

“Boggs, it was amazing.”

“What was, Zo?”

“That Runner. It showed me somehow. Our baby. I can’t describe it very well. It was something I felt, not something I saw. Total peace. Warmth.”

Boggs stroked my hair back from my face.

“You really think it knew about the baby?” he asked.

I nodded.
“I wish I could explain how I know, but it wasn't going to hurt me. Because of the baby.”

Boggs reached his hand around me and placed his hand low on my belly.
He looked deep in thought, his brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed slightly. I reached up and ran a wet hand through his loose curls, causing his face to relax.

“Let’s get cleaned up and get to bed,” I whispered.

The water had cooled and before long our hair was washed, our bodies scrubbed, and our teeth brushed using the old fashioned finger-and-toothpaste method. Wrapped in towels, we left the bathroom and crossed the hallway to our bedroom.

True to their word, Susan and Emilie had made our bed for us.
It was a modest display of mismatched sheets and blankets that had been turned down to the foot of the bed. It looked so inviting. A candle had been lit and set on the table beside the bed, filling the room with a glow that mimicked warmth. In truth the room was ice cold. My damp hair wasn't helping matters. Boggs walked up behind me and gently unwrapped the towel from around my body, leaving me nude. His fingers gently traced the green lines that were spreading upward from my hip. With his other hand he moved my hair away from my neck and kissed me gently there. I could feel his arousal behind me, pressing into me hot and hard.

“Boggs, are you sure?” I whispered, turning to face him.
“Are you sure you want to be this close to me?”

He hushed me by kissing me firmly on the mouth, his tongue parting my lips.
My heartbeat sped up and I surrendered into his arms. I felt him lift me, and I was suddenly on my back on the bed. He climbed on top of me, his face near my own.

“Zoe,” he whispered, his voice deep.
“I never want to not be close to you. Ever. You’re my life, my love.”

His words were so tender they brought tears to my eyes, which I fought back.

“Zo, look at me.”

I did as instructed, locking eyes with him.
His face was well sculpted, his jaw strong, his eyes piercingly blue. The candle light made his complexion appear soft and unflawed. I reached a hand up and felt his exaggerated five o’clock shadow. He closed his eyes and turned his face into my palm, as if trying to breathe me in. I saw a single tear fall from his left eye.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled his face down to mine, kissing him deeply.

“I’m so sorry this is all happening,” I said.

“I’m just glad we have each other, Zoe,” he moaned.

In the next moment he rolled over and pulled me on top of him. As if the most natural thing in the world, his erection found its way deep inside of me. My lover thrust his pelvis up to meet me as I ground myself down against him. I found his hands and held them for balance while I arched my back. I looked down and saw that my nipples were erect both from the joy of our union, and also from the cold in the room. The sight of my own arousal drove me wild and I felt my body betray me with a ripple of pleasure that came far too soon. Feeling spent and on the fine edge of exhaustion, I slumped down onto Boggs while he still needed to find his own release. I found myself abruptly tossed onto my back again, and suddenly being made love to with enthusiasm of which I was unaccustomed to. I sensed that he was making love to me as if it may be the last time we’d ever be together. Boggs was loud as he thrust into me with desperation, his moans reaching a crescendo as he found his own indescribable joy. He rolled onto his side, and covered us both with the blankets that were at the end of the bed. Both gasping for breath, we lay side by side holding each other as we drifted off to sleep.

Our night back at the cabin had led to new snow.
We had taken a vote on staying or trying to leave in the Suburban, which would have meant leaving the step van behind. In the end all but Susan and Nathan had voted to stay until the weather cleared. Life continued without upset as days turned to nights and repeated over and over as we all did our best to not get in each other’s hair. Our plans to have two people awake at all times had faded as the threat of danger seemed to wane. Abbey and Kelsey had taken over the single bed in Susan’s room and she and Nathan had decided to make a love nest in the attic space using two bean bags that Nathan had brought from the other house for Abbey. At this point the attic was just barely colder than the rest of the cabin. Nights were long and we spent most of the time playing cards and talking, and getting to know each other better. Abbey was slowly coming out of her shell. She had a charming sense of humor with a magical laugh. I found myself drawn to the little girl. I also noticed that Emilie often had a pained look on her face when around Abbey, likely because she reminded her of her own younger brother.

Our food supplies were depleting and we were all starting to worry.
We had begun hunting again, but game was scarce. A squirrel or rabbit was a special treat and vegetables and fruit were now nonexistent. Fish from the lake was our main source of protein and even those were dwindling. For this time of year, snowfall was much less than we’d have expected here in the mountains. It should have been feet deep by now, not merely inches. Some of us were starting to wonder if the unusual weather and the rising of the dead might be connected somehow. Gus was still our resident time-keeper and said it was near the middle of December. Emilie and I had started working on plans to celebrate Christmas but never settled on any solid ideas. We had fun dreaming, though. A huge turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. Pecan pie. My appetite had started to return with a vengeance, and not being able to do anything about it was torture. I had taken notice that all of us were looking leaner.

By now Gus had examined me.
He said there was little he could do without an ultrasound machine, and even then he’d be at a loss as to how to operate one. He said the green streaks on my hip may be darkening and spreading outward in response to pregnancy hormones. He was worried about my weight loss. He and Emilie did their best to reassure me that everything was likely fine, and that we just had to trust nature. I wasn't so sure, since nature was doing a terrible job of things lately.

We had been back at the cabin for close to two weeks.
Nights had grown longer than days and sleeping late was always tempting. I’m not sure what caused me to climb out of bed so early in the morning. By the time my feet hit the cold floor in our bedroom, I knew something was wrong. The air was heavy. It was only seconds before I began choking on the smoke that was collecting at the peak of our sloped ceiling. We were in the habit of leaving the doors to our rooms open at night in case we needed the others in an emergency. It seemed safest, and had become comfortable.

“Boggs!” I choked out as loudly as I could manage.
“Boggs!”

The urgency in my voice immediately woke him.
He sat bolt upright.

“Emilie! Gus! Fire!”
I screamed. “Susan! Oh my God! Kelsey!” I shouted. I flew the rest of the way out of bed, nearly tripping on the blankets.

“Zoe!” shouted Boggs as he tumbled out of bed.
“Stay near me!”

“Emilie!” I heard Gus yell from across the hall.

The next moments were filled with chaos and confusion as we all began to gather in the smoke-filled hallway. The smell of soot was becoming sickening. I could feel heat coming from the floor below our feet.

“It’s downstairs,” said Boggs between coughing fits.

Emilie was grabbing onto Boggs, who clung to me. Susan and Nathan were scrambling down from the attic space, skipping many of the rungs on the ladder.

“We have to get out, now,” said Gus in his usual tone of authority.
“It’s no good trying to go down the stairs. Get into Susan’s bedroom, quick!”

Voices became mixed in a panic as we all fumbled through the heavy smoke toward Susan’s old room.
It became so incredibly difficult to breathe.

“On the ground!” said Boggs.
“The air will be clearer on the ground!”

I felt my best friend and lover pull on my arm until I was on my knees.
“Zoe, go with Susan and Emilie. I’ll be right behind you,” he said to me. “Stay low!”

I heard glass breaking from downstairs.
It sounded as if the fire was alive and ravenous. The smell of burning fabric and plastic stung my nose and my lungs now felt as if they too were burning.

“Boggs, we need to get the guns,” choked out Gus.
“Nathan! Get the girls to the window!”

One of the girls pulled me forward.
I wasn’t sure which one. Our crawl to Susan’s old room was a flurry of confusion in the dark. I reached back several times hoping to feel Boggs or Gus, but didn’t. The sound of metal bending under the pressure of the heat downstairs deafened me for a moment.

“We have to get out,” cried Susan.
“We have to get out!”

“The window,” said Emilie, choking on the toxic smoke, barely able to speak.

I bumped my head on the edge of a doorway.

“Abbey!” I tried to yell the girl’s name, but coughed it out instead.
“Ab…Abbey!”

“I’m here!
I’m here!” I heard the terrified child’s cry. “Oh God I’m here!” I could tell she was crying.

I had no idea where the window was.
I wasn’t even confident that we were in Susan’s room. My orientation was thoroughly mixed up from the smoky haze. I began to panic as my thoughts shifted from Boggs being missing from my side to the baby growing inside of me. My instinct to escape and survive went into overdrive and I somehow crawled to a wall, hoping it would be the one that housed the window. I started to stand to feel for the glass with my hands when I heard someone shout “Where’s Zoe?” My arm was grabbed and I was pulled sideways forcefully, causing me to stumble. More than anything, I needed to breathe. The next moments were a blur. I was hoisted to the window and arms were there to pull me through. The cold air that hit my face was biting and refreshing. I fought to catch my breath, but smoke continued to twist its way deep into my lungs. I could see orange flames lapping at the far end of the roof, almost like the Devil’s fingers caressing a prized pet. The heat was searing against my face, mixing with the cold winter air in a sensation that was confusing. The fire growled deeply with anger as if taunting us.

“Get them down, Boggs!” shouted Gus loudly.
“Hurry!”

I watched as Gus swung Emile down from the rooftop where we huddled.
I assumed Boggs was below to catch her. I knew this corner of the cabin was closest to the ground, and was glad that Gus had the good sense to direct us here.

“Zoe!” yelled Gus.
“Come on Zoe, you’re next!” He grabbed me around the waist and swung me over. I fell into Boggs’ waiting arms and without warning was on my feet and being pulled away from the burning cabin.

I could hear Kelsey screaming from somewhere above.
“Abbey! Abbey!”

I turned to look back.
“Gus!” I yelled back. “Gus!”

“I’m here,” he yelled between hacking fits.

“Gus you have to get the girls!”

“Nathan!” screamed Gus in desperation.

The flames were spreading and quickly approaching where the rest of our group was still stuck inside the house. The black smoke billowing out of the window was growing so thick that it was hard to see what was going on.

Before I knew it, Boggs had let go of me and was running back toward the side of the house.

“Boggs!” I screamed.

“Stay back, Zoe!”

Someone was dropped from the roof, into Boggs’ waiting arms. Abbey. My burning lungs were starting to hurt even worse. I found myself unable to speak. I watched in horror as Gus held Kelsey by her arms and lowered her down. Gus followed her, lowering himself as far as he could before dropping to the ground.

I could hear Susan behind me crying, near hysteria.
“Where’s Nate? Oh God where’s Nate?”

Boggs and Gus were running toward us, Boggs cradling Abbey in his arms and Gus pulling Kelsey by her arm.

“NATE!” screamed Kelsey, trying to twist her body back to face the cabin.

“Run!” screamed Gus.
“The propane tank might go!”

And run I did.
As fast as my stinging lungs and bare feet would allow. Boggs was pulling me by my right hand. I looked back and saw that Gus was carrying Kelsey right behind us. Susan and Emilie were collapsed on the ground near the tree line, Emilie holding Susan back. Susan was crying, creating streaks of tears and soot on her face.

“We need to get farther away!
Fast!” Gus shouted. “Go!”

“We have to get Nate,” cried Susan.

“I’m here,” choked Nathan as he ran up behind us.

Susan stood and embraced him. “Oh thank God Almighty.”

The step van was too close to the inferno for us to even attempt to get to it. The flames were consuming the exterior walls of our cabin and I could see the windshield of the van had shattered from the heat. Its tires were melted.

We ran into the trees, but could still feel the heat from the fire chasing us.
Without warning the cabin exploded behind us. While it didn’t knock us over, I could feel my legs give out, causing me to stumble. Boggs held me upright. We all turned and watched as the small cabin that had become our home continued to go up in flames. Breathing became easier as clean air flushed our lungs. The smell of charred wood and soot clung to us. My eyes burned. My nose burned. My lungs burned. My heart was broken.

“What now?” I whispered.

No one seemed anxious to answer.

“I need to think,” said Gus.
He had his hands laced together at the back of his head, his eyes wide and a sheen of sweat coating his face. “Zoe, are we alone?” I knew he wanted to know if I sensed any of the living dead nearby.

I nodded.
“All clear.” I began coughing again. “As far as I can tell.”

“Gus, we need to move,” said Boggs.

“Let’s load into the Suburban,” said Nate, still coughing.

I felt Boggs wrap an arm around me.
It was then that we saw headlights coming down the drive. A large camouflaged military truck came to a stop well away from the burning cabin. Thick black smoke was rising to meet the clouds above and morning light was starting to fill the sky.

Gus stepped in front of all of us and held his arms out to his sides, signaling for us to stay behind him.

Three men exited the vehicle and surveyed the fire. They seemed unaware of us.

Boggs said to me very clearly, “stay here.”
He chambered a round in his Kahr and tucked the pistol into the back waistband of his jeans, then stepped out of the tree line. The other girls and I stayed concealed amongst the trees as Boggs, Gus, and Nathan all stepped forward, their arms raised. I assumed it was to show that they were human. The men in the driveway took notice of them and raised their rifles.

“Stop!” yelled one of them.

Gus and Boggs both put their arms out, Gus holding his shotgun off to one side. The strangers proceeded forward slowly. Nathan hung behind a few paces, his left arm stretched behind him as if saying “stay hidden” to us.

“Stop there!” said the smallest of the three men.
He spoke in a slight accent. I thought it might be Russian but wasn’t sure. “Proceed no farther.”

“Who are you?” called Gus.

“Friends,” answered the man. “We were out scouting and saw the flames from the highway.”

Having had enough tension, I stepped from the tree line despite Nathan’s warning gesture and Emilie’s efforts to hold me back.

Em and Susan joined me, although I could tell it was against their better judgment. Emilie held my arm at the elbow. Her grip told me she was frightened. I could sense Kelsey and Abbey standing just behind us. I felt an urge to protect the young girl.

The shock of our home burning was beginning to set in.
I wanted to scream, cry, or somehow throw a fit. With strangers there holding rifles, I felt compelled to not do much of anything though. No one spoke for a moment, and my ears were filled with the sound of the fire continuing to rumble. I watched helplessly as it destroyed the remainders of the home and life we had built.

At last one of the men facing us spoke again.
“We can take you with us.” He was slight in stature, clean-cut, and well dressed in black slacks and a black knit turtleneck.

“To where?” asked Gus.
I could tell by his posture and his voice that he was leery.

“We’re running a colony not too far from here,” answered the man.
“We saw some of the dead nearby, so I’d strongly suggest you take us up on the offer.”