Taming Damian (4 page)

I continued this for the first half of our trip, fucking her like she was some object I didn’t care about. I knew she felt that something was off about my behavior, but she didn’t say a word. I had a feeling she secretly enjoyed the dangerous, aggressive side to me.

When we arrived in Rome on the fourth day of our trip, I was worn down and the pain in my chest did not seem to have lessened. Instead, it seemed to have gotten worse. The more pain I felt, the more pain I wanted to inflict on Alexis.

But then something happened.

We were strolling up the Aventine hill, one of Rome’s famous seven hills. There was a spot on the hill where a plain-looking green metal door stood. And on this old metal door, there was an unassuming keyhole. I hadn’t even noticed the keyhole until our tour guide pointed it out and told us to look through it. I looked first and what I saw took my breath away. Through this seemingly normal keyhole was a spectacular view of Rome with the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican perfectly framed in the center. What was awe-inspiring about this sight was that this secret keyhole captured three countries in one glance: Italy, the territory of Malta, and the Vatican City State.

When the tour guide explained this fact to us, Alexis squealed in delight and looked through the keyhole. I watched as she gasped in awe at what lay before her inside that keyhole, and something about her reaction brought a smile to my face. It was probably my first genuine smile since I had seen that text.

As we walked away from that keyhole, she grabbed my hand and smiled at me with that warm, heart-stopping smile of hers that always made my stomach flip. I realized then that she had smiled at me numerous times during the trip before that point, but this was the first time I’d allowed myself to notice. It was the first time it had hit me like a ton of bricks and caused my hatred for her to immediately waver and crumble. In this smile, I saw the sheer happiness on her face and knew that I was the one who’d caused her to look so radiant. I wasn’t sure what it had been about that smile—about this woman—but at that moment, I knew she was my ultimate weakness. When I was around her, I found it hard to think rationally. I found it hard to stay mad at her.

“No!” I yelled aloud as hot water continued to beat down on my face.
All you really want with her is to fuck her, taste her, and make her scream your name
, I convinced myself.
Fuck, I need to get over her
!

I let out a huge sigh as I pounded my fist against the shower tiles.
Treat her like an expensive fuck!
I needed to get my fill of her and quit her cold turkey. She was my kryptonite and I had to think of her like any other drug. They were addicting, fun and irresistible, but soon the high was over. The greater the high, the greater the fall.

And with Alexis, she was my highest high and, therefore, my lowest low. She had destroyed me, and what made it worse was she hadn’t even confessed yet. I had waited for it all week, but nothing. That drove me crazy. I wanted to exact revenge on her, yet another part of me wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I wasn’t sure why, but the thought that she was even remotely similar to my mother killed me. It was more than I could bear and more than I was able to accept.

So this week, I had told myself to take a step back—have my fun with her and wait until she told me everything. Maybe there was an explanation I didn’t see. Maybe she was the beautiful person I had pictured her to be. Maybe she was still my Alex.

I rubbed my face with my hands and removed some excess water that was running down my face. It wasn’t until then that I realized that my fingers were starting to prune.

How long have I been in here?
I must have been in the shower for a good ten minutes without even realizing.
But where’s Alexis?

“Hey, babe? You okay?”

No response.

I got out of the shower but left it running. I didn’t want to not trust her, but that text from Chris had shaken me to the core. It had changed what I had thought I’d had with Alexis. Now, when I looked at her, all I saw was betrayal, which made me question her every move.

As I quietly walked toward the doorway of the bathroom to see what was holding her up, I heard her talking to someone and realized she was on the phone. My body automatically tensed.

“Sure, I can stop in next week at that time. Will the tests be ready then?”

I held my breath as I took in her words.
Who is she talking to? She’s talking about the tests.

“Okay, thanks. Please tell Dr. Kramer that I’m really anxious to know the results as soon as possible.”

Fuck, she is pregnant!

At this point, I’d had enough of her lying and was about to storm into the room and confront her. But just then, her phone rang and I heard her quickly pick it up.

“Hey,” she whispered into her phone. I could hear an edge of panic in her voice.

I wondered who had just called and why she was whispering.

My question was immediately answered and the answer knocked the wind out of me.

“Chris, I really can’t talk right now. I emailed you and told you that I’m out of town this week. You shouldn’t have called.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Yes, I’m going to know the test results next week.”

There was another moment of silence.

“Chris, I already told you. I don’t know what I’m going to do if the results all come out positive.”

Pause.

“Yes, of course I’m going to keep the baby if it comes to that! How can you even ask that?”

I could hear my heart pound violently against my chest of her words. My hand held the doorframe for support as I tried to digest what this all meant.

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re there for me. But hey, I have to go.”

I could tell that Chris was still talking on the other end.

“I just can’t. I’ll call you in a few days, okay?”

As I listened to Alexis’s words from the other side of the open bathroom door, my chest tightened at the thought that I’d lost her to another man.

Was she ever mine to begin with?
When that question popped into my head, I realized that I couldn’t take this any longer.

“Hey, what happened to you?” I popped my head into the room, knowing I’d surprise her.

Let’s see how you get out of this lie.

Alexis looked up at me with wide eyes and a stunned expression on her face. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She quickly recovered and a rehearsed smile spread across her face.

“Hey, sorry. I was just on the phone with—”

“—work?” I finished her sentence, knowing very well she’d lie about this too.

Her face turned bright pink as she looked down at her phone. “Yeah.” Her voice was soft, and I could tell she was trying to decide on something.

Is this when she’s going to tell me?

She cleared her throat and looked up at me, a sinful smile spreading across her face. “I’m ready for that shower now,” she purred.

Bitch. She’s just like my mother.

“Are you sure there’s nothing you need to take care of with whoever you were talking to? You look upset. It must be something urgent at work if they’re going to call you when they know you’re in Italy on vacation.”

“Uh, yeah, the issue’s been resolved. Um, they just needed me to confirm something real quick,” she stammered out.

She threw the phone aside and walked toward me with a smile on her face. It was not the same warm smile that caused my stomach to flip. This one was fake seductive smile. She should know that I could tell the difference. After all, I was Damian Castillo—I’d perfect that signature smile.

She wrapped her arms around my wet, naked body, pressing her body against my half-erect cock. “Didn’t you promise me that you’d angry fuck me?”

“You have no idea what you’re asking for,” I warned. Anger fumed inside me as the number of times I’d caught her lying to me was piling up.

Before I could call her out on her bullshit, she pulled me back into the bathroom. “Come on, big daddy. I’ve been a bad girl. I need a good spanking.”

And as I watched her breasts bounced as she ran into the shower, my anger turned into lust as my cock hardened to its peak.

Fuck it. I’ll wait until we get back to SF to confront her. For now, I’m going to fuck her and get my fill of her before she’s just another fucking number in my black book.

***

“I can’t believe this will be the last sunset we get to see in Italy,” Alexis sighed as she sank deeper into my arms.

“Yeah. I’ll miss this place.”

We were sitting outside next to the vineyard with our glasses of wine as we watched the sun begin to set over the terra cotta tile roofs of the neighboring villa in the distant horizon. The air was sweet and comforting—a result of the warm Tuscany sun and the rich aroma of wild jasmines around us.

I looked down at her and drank in her natural beauty. I wondered what she was thinking at this very moment.
Is she thinking of him?
A sharp stab of pain pierced through my chest at the thought.

She turned around to look at me. “Damian, you’ve been distant.” Her voice was low and sad.

“Have I?” I frowned and tried to look confused by her comment. Of course I’d been distant, but I couldn’t admit that to her. I still wanted to give her the chance to confess.

Concern painted her face as she held my hand up to her cheek. “I miss the gentle way you touch me sometimes.”

“Me too.” They were the only words I could muster as a mix of conflicting emotions swirl inside.

“I love you, Damian.” Her voice was pleading, and that scared me. “I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I want you to know how much I love you.”

I held my breath at her words for fear that I would lose my cool if I said anything. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I wasn’t about to say “I love you” back—not if she was really pregnant with another man’s child. I felt like a fool for even having said it once to her.

So I chose to stay silent.

But her words seem to hang in the air as she looked up at me expectantly.

I pulled her into my arms and smiled down at her before kissing her gently on the forehead. “The sun is about to disappear into the horizon. You don’t want to miss this.” I turned her around to face the departing sun. As much as I thought I wanted to see her in pain, the sadness that filled her eyes was too much for me to bear. Against my better judgment, I squeezed her tightly against my body as we watched the sky dim into darkness as the sun left us.

As we took in our surroundings in silence, I sighed at how simple this moment was yet how happy it made me. Tuscany was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever been and a place like nowhere else I’d ever been. The area was ripe with vineyards as far as the eyes could see. You could feel the beauty and history as they were soaked into every corner of this rolling countryside. If there was a Heaven, this was probably what it’d look like. And here I was, enjoying this unbelievable place with Alexis, and as much as I wanted to hate her, something felt right with her here beside me.

“I wish we could stay here forever.” Her voice was distant as she looked at the warm crimson horizon. “I wish it could just be the two of us forever like this in this magical place, away from our normal lives.” She looked over at me. I saw the twinkle in her eyes dim with specks of sadness.

This week went by so quickly. I had told myself that when this week was over, when we were back in SF, I’d know exactly what to do. I would probably confront her and leave her. But now that we were approaching that point in time, I felt like I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. I was no longer so sure of things. As the gentle breeze blew past us and I inhaled the light coconut scent of her hair, I realized that I wished for the same thing she had moments ago—that we could stay here forever. Just the two of us in our own little Heaven.

“Me too,” I finally said. “Me too.” I felt a potent wave of loss wash over me, as if something inside me knew I was about to lose something I couldn’t yet articulate or comprehend.

I closed my eyes and held Alexis tighter around me as I tried to savor this perfect moment with her.

CHAPTER FOUR

Alexis

“Alexis Blythe?”

I looked up nervously from my chair in the waiting room and saw a nurse with a kind round face look up from her clipboard.

“That’s me,” I answered timidly. I got up from my seat and walked toward her.

“Hi. Right this way. You’ll be in the room three doors down on the right. Dr. Stevens will be in to see you shortly.”

“Thank you.” I rubbed my hands together nervously as I went into the room. My body was tense with anxiety and fear as I sat down and waited for my doctor. I had been feeling sick to my stomach all day and prayed that the news was going to be good.

“Good afternoon, Alexis,” came a male voice from the doorway.

I looked up and saw Dr. Stevens enter the room with his chart.

“Hi, Dr. Stevens. How are you?”

“Doing pretty well. How are you feeling?” He put on his thin oval reading glasses and flipped through the chart in front of him.

“To be honest, pretty nervous.” I took a deep breath and searched his face for clues of what kind of news he was going to tell me.

“That’s understandable. Well, we got all the tests results back.”

“Okay.” I felt my hands tighten into fists as my nails dig into my clammy palms.

“Alexis, the pregnancy test came out positive. You’re going to have a baby.” He looked at me tentatively, waiting for me to respond to the news. I knew what he was thinking. From my chart, he knew that I wasn’t married. He was probably curious if this was good or bad news.

I felt my heart racing inside my chest and was unable to speak. I drew in a deep, ragged breath to calm myself down. A million thoughts whirled inside my head, yet I couldn’t seem to focus on a single one.

“You’re two months pregnant, and at this point, you still have some time to decide what you want to do about this pregnancy…” Dr. Stevens’s voice trailed off as he watched my reaction.