Tangled Vines: An Australian Rural Romance (8 page)

“I’ve no idea why I’m helping you. I should let you wallow in your misery. After all you seem to be pretty good at doing that.”

“Why are you still here?” he asked tiredly. “I thought I told you to leave.”

“You did. But by the time I took the tree down it was late and I didn’t want to try to find a hotel.”

Kyle looked up at her. “Is that right?”

She shifted from one foot to the other, a clear sign she wasn’t being completely truthful with him. He watched silently.

Jordan huffed out a breath and his lips twitched. “Fine. I decided to ignore your edict to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because kicking me out purely because I put a Christmas tree up is stupid.”

Kyle stood, the chair scraping loudly around the room and in his head. He stalked toward where she leaned against the kitchen counter to place an arm on either side of her, effectively trapping her. What he wanted to do was lean in and kiss her. It might have been only a couple of days since he last kissed her, but he hadn’t forgotten her taste. The way she melted in his arms. The way she moaned softly in the back of her throat. He wanted to make her moan again. Only in ecstasy as he brought her to climax after climax. His body hardened.

“Jordan,” he whispered. “What are you doing to me? It makes no sense.”

Instead of fulfilling his desire, he pushed away from the counter, putting more space between them. “I’m going to take a shower.”

He walked away and out of the kitchen. Away from the temptation Jordan presented.

• • •

Jordan gripped the counter behind her to stop from sliding to the floor. Even hung over Kyle still exuded unbelievable sex appeal. She had wanted him to kiss her. Oh, how she’d wanted him to pull her close.

But that would’ve been all types of wrong. He may desire her, but he didn’t
want
her. Not for the long term. Kyle wasn’t the type of man who went into relationships looking for permanence. He fought demons on a daily basis. Demons who leeched the very joy out of his life. Demons he seemed to like having as his partner in life. And although she wanted to help him slay them, she sensed he wouldn’t appreciate her interference. No, kissing Kyle would be bad for her.

When she was certain her legs could hold her, she picked up Kyle’s glass and rinsed it out, leaving it to drain on the sink.

She made her way outside, taking a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of earth. The sun had just risen and bathed the vines in pale yellow light. She smiled to herself at seeing how the vines had taken on a lush, healthy look. Soon they would be full and heavy with bunches of plump grapes.

Once she reached the vineyard, she walked between the rows, her hand touching the leaves as she wandered through. She stopped every now and then to pull an errant weed. Everything looked good with them.

She strolled through another block of vines not as lush as the previous section. She stopped to inspect each bunch for telltale white spots of mildew forming on the delicate skin. Although small, the grapes still looked healthy.

“Why do you love these vines so much?”

Kyle in the vineyard was the last thing she expected. Especially after the bender he had gone on the previous evening. His eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses. She could pretty much guarantee that behind those glasses, his eyes were bloodshot and hurting, being out in the sun.

“What’s not to love about Mother Nature? All the things she does for us, the beautiful things she creates.”

He took a step back, his fists balled tightly, and for a moment she thought he would lash out and swipe at the vines. But he seemed to realize what he was about to do. She watched as his shoulders rose and fell a few times before they visibly relaxed.

“Mother Nature is a cruel bitch. I’m not a fan of hers. Nothing she can do would make me love her.”

Jordan opened her mouth to speak, but Kyle sent her a look that made her snap her mouth shut quickly.

“Don’t. Don’t try to tell me I’m being unreasonable and that I should appreciate all the beautiful things she creates. It’s bullshit. She doesn’t create beautiful things, I know.”

Kyle threaded a hand through his hair, agitation rolling off him. She wanted to reach out and touch him. Let him know he didn’t have to be so agitated. But she stopped herself. Jordan had a feeling that whatever happened next would define them both. Everything he felt for the mythical Mother Nature had molded Kyle into the person standing in front of her.

“What happened, Kyle?”

He laughed harshly. “Oh, sweetheart, you don’t want to know.”

“Try me.”

He took a step closer to her, blocking out the sunlight, casting her in shadow. She couldn’t prevent the shiver as it coursed through her. “You look around at the vines, Jordan, and you see growth, life, opportunity. You think Mother Nature is being nice to you. Rewarding you for caring for her little plants. My father cared for her plants and he didn’t get rewarded with anything nice. I did nothing to her either and she took everything,
everything
that meant so much to me. I was left alone because she was in a shitty mood one day and decided to cast her wrath upon hundreds and thousands of innocent people.”

Jordan didn’t know what to say next. She should leave it alone, not delve into the personal hell that lived inside Kyle. But she couldn’t stop herself. She had to know everything.

“Let’s go inside,” she suggested as she took hold of Kyle’s hand and turned toward the house. Kyle had other ideas though, and he tugged on her hand, bringing her flush up against his hard body.

“I don’t want to go inside. I want to forget. I want to forget about everything that happened to me.”

Damn, if only he’d take off those sunglasses so she could see what his eyes were telling her. Instead she placed her hand on his cheek. “But you can’t, can you? You can’t forget. It lives with you on a daily basis. Burying it isn’t going to make it any better. Perhaps you need to face whatever it is that’s eating you alive.”

“And you think talking is going to help me deal with it.”

“It’s a start. Tell me, Kyle. Tell me everything. I want to know. I want to help you.” Jordan laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him, trying to comfort him. He remained stiff in her embrace.

Jordan pulled away from him and rose up on her tiptoe. She brushed her lips against his cheek. “Please, Kyle. Let me help you.”

A shudder ripped through him and his arms closed around her, pulling her tightly against him. His cheek rested in the crook of her neck.

They stood for endless moments in the middle of the vines in the early morning sunlight.

His chest heaved up and down beneath her hands, and in that moment she knew Kyle had let go. Let his emotions out. As her neck began to grow damp she squeezed her arms tighter around him. She didn’t murmur words like
there there,
or
it’s going to be okay
. She waited it out. Waited until Kyle had spent all his emotions, because she knew what came next. He would want to run in the opposite direction. A man as powerful and successful as Kyle Davis didn’t cry in a woman’s arms. Didn’t show his vulnerable side.

“It was Boxing Day, December 2004, when I woke up to Mother Nature’s hell.” He spoke quietly in her neck.

Jordan wracked her brain trying to remember back that far. She would’ve been sixteen at the time, right in the middle of her rebellious time. Her father would’ve been settling in to watch the Boxing Day Cricket Test. What else had happened that day?

Oh my God, the tsunami that caused havoc all over Asia. Kyle was there? He had survived? But he said he lost everything; what had he lost? Or, more importantly, who had he lost?

So many questions she wanted to ask but out in the hot summer sun wasn’t the place to do it.

“Let’s go inside,” she whispered.

Without waiting for a response she pulled away from Kyle, trailing her hand down his arm until her hand connected with his. She laced her fingers through his and with a slight tug headed back to the house.

They made the short trip in silence. Jordan left Kyle to his thoughts. She had to make sure she approached the situation with sensitivity. Had he lost a girlfriend? Or maybe even a fiancée? Now she understood why he didn’t want to be around anyone at this time of year. How hard must it be to spend time with people who were ridiculously happy and excited while you suffered a major loss the day after Christmas.

Once inside she relinquished her hold on his hand and went to the fridge. After the night he had, he probably didn’t need any more alcohol so she pulled out some orange juice and poured him a glass. She grabbed a bottle of water for herself.

Jordan turned, drinks in hand, and found the room empty.

“Shit,” she muttered as she put the drinks down.

Would he have gone into the living room? Or maybe his office? If he’d wanted to hide from her, his office would be the most logical place to disappear into. It was what he usually did. Not once had she disturbed him there.

Today she didn’t care about leaving him alone to work. Today she would be pounding on that door, demanding he let her in. Consequences be damned.

Resolve pulsing through her, she headed down the hallway to Kyle’s office. When she reached the open doorway she had her answer—he wasn’t there. Turning, she went to the living and found that empty as well.

“What the hell?” she groaned. “Normally playing hide and seek isn’t my game of choice. But if that’s what it’s going to be, that’s what it’s going to be.”

Talking like someone actually listened to her. She laughed at herself, taking a few moments to think, to eliminate where Kyle could be. Maybe he’d gone to the bathroom? Maybe he hadn’t been running away from her at all.

She scoffed out loud. Of course he was running away. Who wouldn’t? She would too after displaying the type of emotion he’d shown her in the vineyard. The only other place Jordan could think of where Kyle would go was his bedroom. She hadn’t entered the room, only poked her head in when she’d been deciding which room to sleep in. It hadn’t felt right to sleep in Kyle’s room. Thank goodness she hadn’t.

It took her only a few seconds before she stood in front of Kyle’s shut bedroom door. She placed her ear against the wood, straining to hear any sound at all coming from the interior of the room.

Jordan knocked on the door, turning the door handle at the same time. There Kyle sat on his bed, holding a frame in his hand.

“Hey,” she spoke quietly, wanting to let him know he wasn’t alone.

With slow, measured steps she walked to the bed and sat down next to him. She knew she was taking a lot of liberties, acting without Kyle’s consent. She also knew if she didn’t, he would shut down. Close the door on the emotions he’d let out.

She glanced at the frame in his hand. She couldn’t clearly see the photo it contained.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” he said as he made a move to put it back on his bedside table. She reached out and stilled his hand.

“Show me, please.”

“Why?” He turned to face her, his eyes bleak, lacking any sort of emotion. They were still bloodshot, a combination from his previous evening’s alcoholic bender and from the tears he’d shed. “Why should I show you? You don’t mean anything to me.”

She flinched at his harsh words. Someone else may have run from him then. Jordan knew the words were spoken out of anger.

“You’re right.” She shrugged. “You don’t owe me anything and you don’t mean anything to me either. So why don’t I buy you a bottle of bourbon or maybe whiskey, or is vodka your choice of poison? Then you can drink it down and make everything go away.”

“Sounds like a great idea. There’s a bottle of bourbon in the bar. That should suit me quite nicely, thank you.”

“It won’t work, Kyle.”

“What won’t work?”

“Drinking until you pass out. It didn’t help you last night, did it? When you sober up, it’s all still here. Every horrid detail of what happened is still here.”

“Don’t give me some half-assed psycho-babble. You’re no shrink. Go tend to your vines. You can talk to them to your heart’s content. Maybe they’ll appreciate your amateur shrink efforts.” He stood and put the picture back on the table. “I don’t want or need it.”

He walked out of the room.

Anger steamed up inside of her. If he wanted to fight and yell at her, he could. She could fight and yell back with the best of them. Jordan got up, grabbed the photo, and went searching once again for Kyle.

She found him in the living room sitting on the couch about to pour a drink. Jordan raced over and grabbed the bottle out of his hand.

“Shit, Jordan, just leave me alone.”

Placing the photo on the coffee table, she swiped the screw top for the bourbon and put it back on. The temptation to take it to the kitchen and empty it down the sink was strong.

“Sorry, buddy, I’m not going anywhere.”

“What the fuck did I do to deserve a nosy winemaker living in my house when all I want is to be alone?”

“Dumbass luck I guess.”

“Why is this so important to you, Jordan?”

Jordan went back to where Kyle was sitting on the couch. “Because,” she pointed to the picture, “they would hate to see you drinking yourself into the ground.”

“How would you know? You don’t even know them. They’re probably glad I’m doing this shit. It’s what I deserve.”

“Why? What did you do to them?”

“I left them when I shouldn’t have,” he whispered. “It’s my fault they’re dead.”

Every instinct in her screamed to comfort him, only she knew comfort was the last thing he needed or wanted.

“Because you survived? That’s not your fault. I’m sure you did everything you could to save them. I’m sure they don’t blame you.”

He laughed. “Really, what sort of shit is that, Jordan?
I’m sure they don’t blame you
. You know
nothing.
”

She’d tried so hard not to get angry, afraid that if she showed any sign of a temper he would shut down. She couldn’t let his mocking pass though.

“Then bloody tell me, Kyle.
Tell me
what happened that day. Tell me why you blame yourself.”