Targeted (Firebrand Book 1) (27 page)

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Chris said.

Ash raised his coffee cup to his mouth and drained the contents before he stood and tossed the disposable cup into a trash can. He took a deep breath and stuck out his hand to Chris who rose and clasped it.

“Thanks, Chris, for all you’ve done,” he said. “But I need to get back home now. I have a feeling Diaz will be showing up there soon, and I have a family to protect.”

He picked up his duffel bag and his rifle case that lay beside the couch and walked from the room. He wanted to go home, but he dreaded telling Lainey that once again he had failed. He was leaving Mexico, and Eduardo Diaz probably was, too. He had a feeling it probably wouldn’t be long before their paths crossed again. Next time he intended for it turn out differently.

Chapter 15

The first person he saw the next day when he burst through the doors of the Firebrand Administration Building was Casey. She was just coming from the direction of the kitchen when she saw him, and she hurried to meet him. When he reached her, he grabbed her and hugged her in welcome.

“Where is everybody?” he asked.

Casey laughed and arched an eyebrow. “Did you think there’d be a welcoming committee waiting for you?”

He chuckled. “No, but I did expect to see a few live people around here.”

“Reese and Colt have taken Lainey and Max over to the firing range to let them shoot at some targets. After you called and said you were coming home, Max has been driving everybody crazy wanting to know when you would get here. So they decided they’d try to distract them for a while.”

The mention of Lainey and Max made his skin warm, and he smiled. “How are they doing, Casey?”

“Fine. Lainey is recovering from the snake bite, and Max is doing his schoolwork online. It’s been kind quiet around here for the past few days, but I imagine that will change now that you’re back.” She hesitated for a moment. “We’ve been on high alert since we found out Diaz escaped. So far all’s been quiet.”

Ash sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “Let’s hope it stays that way.”

“Uncle Ash!”

Max’s loud cry from the direction of the door startled Ash, and he looked around in time to see Max running toward him. He caught the boy in a crushing hug, closed his eyes, and brushed his lips across the dark hair that was so much like his. As he raised his head, he saw Lainey standing a few feet away, tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

His throat constricted, and his chest tightened at the sight of her. “Hello, Lainey,” he rasped. “I told you I’d come back.”

She didn’t take her eyes off him as she walked forward. “You did.” She stopped beside him and glanced down at Max. “Casey, would you take Max in the kitchen and see if the cookies Pete was baking in honor of Ash’s homecoming are ready?”

Casey nodded. “Sure. Come on, Max.”

Max glanced from Casey to Lainey, and a frown creased his forehead. “I want to talk to Uncle Ash and ask about his secret mission down in Mexico.”

Ash smiled down at him. “If it was secret, I can’t tell you anything about it. Now how about checking on those cookies for me? I need to talk to your mom for a minute.”

“Aw, all right,” Max grumbled.

Ash reached out and tousled his hair. “Don’t worry. We’ll talk later, and I’ll tell you how I chased a guy through the sewers in Mexico.”

Max’s eyes grew wide. “Sewers? Cool! I want to hear all about it.”

Reese and Colt stepped up and both slapped him on the back. “Welcome home,” Reese said. “We’ll give you a Lainey some time, then we’ll talk to you later.”

Ash nodded as his two friends hurried to the stairs and climbed to the second floor of the building. When they were out of earshot, he took Lainey by the hand and propelled her down the hallway to a small conference room at the end. He pushed the door open and pulled her inside. “We’ll have some privacy in here. I wanted to. . .”

The words died in his throat as Lainey lunged at him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled his head down. With a groan he kicked the door closed and devoured her mouth with his. They clung together and kissed as if they were experiencing the last moments of life and wanted to make the most of it.

His lips ground against hers, and she whimpered in his arms. He drew back and stared down at her. “Did I hurt you?” he asked.

“No,” she said and pulled him closer. “I just need you.”

His throat closed up, and he swallowed in an effort to relieve the regret that burned in his soul. “I couldn’t catch Diaz. He got away.”

Lainey looked up at him and smiled. “But you came back. That’s what I prayed for. I was scared for you and worried about your safety, and I probably always will be. But I can live with it if you will always come back to me.”

He swallowed hard before he sat down in one of the chairs at the conference room table and pulled her onto his lap. He hugged her close and stared into her eyes. “I love you, Lainey. I’ve done a lot of thinking since I’ve been gone, and I’ve decided it’s time we put aside our past mistakes and look to the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Diaz, but I know I love you, and I want us to be together. Do you think even in the midst of this uncertainty about Diaz we can work things out between us?”

“I know we can if we really try,” she said.

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and caressed her face. “I’ll never leave you again. I see how my desire to join Firebrand cost me dearly, but it has Reese and Colt, too. We never thought about how it would affect those we love when we began to plan this group.”

Her gaze traveled over his face, and a puzzled look lined her face. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “I was naive enough to think that I could have you and Firebrand, but I couldn’t. Colt thought the same thing, and he tried to make it work. But he ended up losing the only woman he’s ever loved. He doesn’t even know where she is now. And Reese. . .well, he’s a different matter entirely. He’s seen how Colt and I have suffered because we wanted it all, and he’s been determined he’ll never allow himself to hurt a woman like we have.”

“Do you mean Casey?” she asked.

He cast a startled glance at her. “How do you know about Casey?”

“Because you only have to be around them for a few minutes to see how she looks at him and how he tries to ignore her. I think he’s already hurt her by not returning the feelings she has for him.”

He nodded. “I think you’re right.” He reached down and trailed his finger down the side of her face. “So, we’re three guys who set out to save the world and ended up wounding everybody we loved the most.”   

They sat there in silence for a moment, and then she released his hand, slipped her arm around his neck, and pulled him close. “Now it’s time to heal, Ash. I want to do that with you.”

His skin warmed at her touch, and he pressed his lips against hers. When he released her, he swallowed and felt the sting of tears. “I want that, too, and I promise I’ll never leave you again. So many times I’ve wished I could go back and undo the decisions I made years ago, but I can’t. I’m so sorry for how I hurt you, Lainey. I want to believe that if I’d known you were pregnant I wouldn’t have left you, but I don’t know if that’s true or not. At the time I was too caught up in what I wanted. Can you forgive me for being so selfish?”

“I’ve already forgiven you, and I hope you’ll forgive me, too. You had a right to know, and I should have told you, but I was afraid if you stayed because of the baby that you’d come to hate me for taking away the one thing you wanted to do. I felt so alone after you left, and then Edward and Richard came to my rescue. I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

The mention of his brother evoked sad memories for him. Richard had been the one person Ash had loved in his life until he met Lainey. Then he’d come to hate him for thinking he deliberately stole Lainey from him. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, but he couldn’t deny it any longer. When he’d come home, he’d missed Richard’s presence in the house. How he wished he could go back and enjoy a few more years with the brother he’d followed around when he was a child and respected when they grew up. But that would never be.

He inhaled a deep breath. “For years I was so angry at Richard for marrying you, but I should have been thanking him for taking over the responsibility that I’d abandoned.”

His fingers tightened on hers, and she smiled at him. “Richard loved me, but I always knew part of his decision to marry me and give Max the DeHan name was because he loved you. He always did, Ash.”

He cleared his throat. “He said in the letter he left me that he did it as much for me as for you. I didn’t believe him then, but I’m beginning to see the truth now. He gave Max a chance to be a DeHan and have the life he deserves.”

She nodded. “Yes, he did.”

Ash closed his eyes for a moment and and rested his cheek against hers. “Lainey,” he whispered, “I haven’t asked you anything about my father since I’ve been home. Tell me what he was like after I left. I want to know if he ever spoke of me, and I want to know how he felt about Max.”

She settled back against him and began to speak with the clear, lyrical tone he remembered from the first day they met. “Your father adored Max. In fact he doted on him. He took great pleasure in the fact that Max had his features just like you have. He told me once that you might not have been able to accept his love, but he wanted Max to know how much he loved him.”

His heart pricked at her words. “So you think my father loved me?”

“I know he did. He told me so. He never gave up hope that you would come home.” She hesitated and took a deep breath. “I was with him when he died. He’d been unconscious, but he suddenly opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling and called out for you. He said ‘Ash, Ash, where are you,’ and then he quietly slipped away. You were the one on his mind at the very end.”

The dam that had held back his emotions for years burst within him, and he groaned as all the hurt and anger of years past poured out of him. Warm tears ran down his cheeks, and he tightened his arms around Lainey.

In the quiet of the room with Lainey in his arms he mourned for all the wasted years. His father and Richard were gone, but he had Lainey and Max. He couldn’t go back and undo all the hurt he’d caused, but he could make sure the future was different for his family. He would do everything in his power to keep them safe, even if it meant giving his own life to make that happen.

<><><>

Ash paced back and forth in front of the bench in the meditation garden at the Firebrand Center. His hands trembled, and he stuck them in his pockets to steady them. He’d never been so nervous in his life. He was about to embark on the toughest mission he’d ever attempted, and he had no idea how it would turn out.

In the week since returning from Mexico he had spent every spare minute with Lainey and Max. Ash had no idea where Reese had located a baseball, two gloves, and a bat, but he had, and Ash had spent hours teaching Max how to catch and bat. Already he could see that Max had inherited his athletic skills and his love for the game. At night they’d played their guitars and sang together while Lainey watched and smiled.

Ash had never been so happy in his life, and he didn’t want it to end. He had wanted Max to get to know him better before he and Lainey had the talk with him that would change forever who he thought he was. Whether or not his son would accept him as his father had kept him awake for the past few nights, and he couldn’t shake the fear that what he was about to tell Max would sever the bond they’d formed.

Would Max hate him for not being there all these years? Could he understand how much Ash wanted to be there from now on? Those were the questions about to be answered.

Footsteps on the path startled him, and he glanced around to see Lainey and Max coming toward him. He looked at her, and she smiled in encouragement. He was going to need all her strength to get through the next few minutes.

When Max saw him, he pulled free of Lainey’s hand and ran to him. “Mom said you wanted to talk to us out here in the garden.”

Ash nodded and reached down and ruffled Max’s hair. “Yeah. There are some things your mom and I need to say to you, and I thought this garden would be a peaceful place for us to talk.”

Max glanced from him to Lainey. “Okay. Am I in trouble for something?”

Lainey laughed and put her arms around his shoulders. “No, darling. You’re not in trouble. This is a conversation we need to have about Ash and me as well as you.”

A look of panic crossed Max’s face. “You and Uncle Ash haven’t had another argument, have you? You’re not going to make him go away, are you?”

She laughed and Ash put his hands on Max’s shoulders. “No, it’s nothing like that. Let’s sit down, and I’ll explain it to you.”

Casting a wary look at Lainey, Max eased down on the bench with Ash and his mother on either side. Lainey and Ash stared over Max’s head at each other for a moment before she spoke. “Ash isn’t going away again, Max. He’s going to stay here in St. Claire with us.”

Max’s eyes grew wide. “With us? You mean at our house?”

“Well, that depends on you, Max,” Ash said. “That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

Max frowned. “I don’t understand.”