Tarzan & Janine (10 page)

Janine heard him heave a huge sigh. Easy for him to be relieved, he didn’t have to hold a damned snake.

Chills trickled down her spine. Well, one thing was for certain. She wasn’t worried about her lines anymore.

Chapter Six

With each step toward the lot, Tanner’s confidence rose. They were poised to do another commercial, and Janine was still with him. The sales force had reported increased sales, and his father finally saw him as something more than a total screw up, without Tanner’s having to tell him he’d scored big on the stock market. Life was certainly looking up.

I should do something special for Janine
. She’d been game to come along for another even after their first two outings ended in disaster. The girl had spunk and a sense of humor, something most of the women he’d dated lacked.

Janine struggled to hold up under the heavy weight of the boa constrictor, and her face pinched, her hands shoving away the boa’s mouth.

Tanner cringed and checked his watch, then relaxed. Janine would hold her ground, and he had no doubt she’d come through with a smile. Because that was Janine. He admired her desire to become an actress, and she played every part as seriously as if it were a starring role in a Broadway production.

Tanner wished he could find something he liked doing as passionately as that. Day trading was something he was good at, but not something where he found passion. As for Peschke Motors, only since he’d taken over the marketing had he felt anywhere near fitting in with the family business. Frankly, he hated selling cars, but he loved working with people and finding ways to make them happy. Why did making a profit and satisfying people have to be mutually exclusive?

“Quiet on the set,” the cameraman shouted. When everyone stopped talking, the man glanced at his watch and nodded at Tanner, then said, “Ready? Action!”

“Good evening, Austin. I’m Tanner Peschke, with Peschke Motors. Here at Peschke Motors, we pride ourselves in...”

Tanner’s words flowed smoothly and things were going as planned. He held his breath when he got to Janine’s cue. “...don’t take my word for it, ask Janine.”

The camera swung to take in Janine in her tight and sexy jungle outfit, struggling to retain the smile on her face. The tightness around her lips and the corners of her eyes were the only indication of her strain.

Tanner could tell her act was forced, but maybe the cameras wouldn’t be as discerning.

“That’s right, folks.” Her voice shook, ever so slightly.

Tanner peered closer.

The poor woman was breathing awful fast, like maybe she could use that paper bag again.

“Don’t let the new car dealerships put the
squeeze
—” Janine squeaked and twisted. The snake’s head was dipping into the only crevice it could find, Janine’s cleavage. Balancing the heavy snake on her shoulders, she tugged the head out of her bra, while smiling at the camera. Well, sort of smiling. Perhaps the gesture was more of a grimace, but she continued with her lines, barely missing a beat. “Come to Pesky Motors—”

“Peschke,” Tanner corrected, automatically.

“—where we’ll take the pressure off. You’ll breathe a sigh of relief—”

Janine didn’t look anywhere near breathing a sigh of relief. In fact, Tanner was worried she wasn’t breathing
enough
.

“—at the no-pressure sales staff and quality cars to choose from.” Her words tumbled out, increasing in speed until she practically spit out the lead-in for Tanner. “Won’t you tell them, Tarzan?”

“Tanner,” he corrected, turning back to the camera and plastering a smile on his face. Janine was pale, her skin tinged a bit on the green side. But this was live television. There wasn’t much he could do at this point. They had a set number of minutes they had to fill. The show must go on.

“That’s right. Come on by and let us show you the finest selection in pre-owned vehicles during our ‘Squeeze Out Sale’ tomorrow. Visit me and Janine, and the no-pressure sales staff at Peschke Motors where we’ll save you--”

This was Janine’s cue and Tanner held his breath. And held his breath.

Nothing.

Turning toward Janine, he noticed what everyone else must have noticed at the same moment.

Someone shouted, “Do something, she can’t breathe!”

The boa constrictor had wrapped itself around Janine’s ribcage and neck, and her face had gone from pale to purple. Her eyes bugged out and she clawed at the huge snake squeezing the life out of her.

When Janine dropped to her knees, Tanner dove for her, catching her before she hit the ground.

She clutched his shirt, her eyes wide, frightened.

Tanner tore at the snake, to no avail. He had to do something. But what? How could he get the snake off? This wasn’t in any Boy Scout book he’d ever read. Then he remembered the snake handler’s words before he’d gone to get Janine for the commercial. “If the boa gets too chummy, you know, tight, dangle the chicken in front of him. He loves chicken more than anything.”

“Where’s the chicken?” Tanner yelled. “Get the damned chicken.”

Janine’s eyes closed, her body going slack.

Praying they wouldn’t be too late to revive Janine, Tanner counted the seconds. “Where’s that damn chicken?” he screamed.

“Here it is.” Scott raced to Tanner’s side and shoved a birdcage containing one live chicken at Tanner.

“Don’t give it to me, give it to the snake.” Tanner’s heart thundered ninety-to-nothing. He had to get the snake off of Janine, or there wasn’t a chance in hell of reviving her.

“Huh?”

“Dangle the chicken in front of the snake’s face.” When Scott hesitated, Tanner just about lost it. “Do it, now.”

Lifting the chicken, cage and all, Scott found the snake’s head, pulled the chicken from the cage, and dangled it by the feet in front of the snake.

Tanner clawed at the beast while the chicken flapped and squawked, protesting its indignation at being held upside down. What was a matter of seconds felt like an eternity until the snake finally loosened its grip on Janine and slithered toward the succulent fowl.

“Here snake, let the pretty lady go. This chicken is much more tasty.” Scott backed away, an inch at a time

The boa slowly released Janine, one scale at a time.

As soon as the reptile cleared Janine’s neck and ribcage, Tanner shook her. “Janine?”

No response.

All those years of CPR training in Boy Scouts finally came into use. Pressing his lips to Janine’s, he breathed into her, filling her lungs with life-giving air, forcing them to expand. Tanner took another breath and breathed into her again, then checked for a pulse. It was faint, but there.

“Come on, Janine...breathe,” he urged, taking another breath.

On the third round, Janine roused. Inhaling sharply, her body shook then went still again. Tanner waited for her to breathe on her own. When he didn’t see her chest rise and fall, he leaned forward to breathe air into her again.

Janine wrapped her arms around Tanner’s neck and what was supposed to be resuscitation transformed into a sock-bunching, toe-curling, incredibly passionate lip lock.

Tanner gathered Janine into his arms and deepened the kiss, feeling her body tense in response.

A round of applause rose around them, reminding Tanner they weren’t alone. Apparently, the sound reminded Janine where they were, too.

“Are you alright?” Tanner pressed kisses to the side of her cheek, still holding her in his arms. “That snake didn’t break anything, did it?”

Janine’s body stiffened. Then her hands dropped from around his neck and inserted themselves between him and her, forcing him to lay her back on the ground.

Before he could react, he felt the sharp sting of her hand across his cheek.

“Tarzan, this Jane quits!”

* * *

“Been lookin’ forward to this for an entire week, haven’t you?” Beans twisted the top off a longneck bottle of beer and settled into the armchair next to Joe.

“You betcha.” Joe rubbed his hands together, eager for the show to start. He punched the mute button on the television remote control to silence the voices of the night’s popular sitcom. “Once again, Tanner didn’t give me a clue as to what the commercial would be about. He did promise me that Janine woman would be in it again.”

“That girl sure gives him a run for his money, if you ask me.” Beans kicked up the footrest on the recliner and settled in. “Noticed the picture in the paper last weekend and the other Austin news channels were out in full force last Saturday. Wonder if he’ll get the same response this time.”

“Don’t know. We’ll just have wait and see.” Joe checked his watch then the clock over the mantel of the fireplace. Both timepieces were exactly in sync. Placing an ear next to his wrist, he listened, satisfied at the ticking sound.

“No use wishin’ your life away, Joe.” Beans tipped his head in Joe’s direction. “Relax, the boy’ll do fine.”

“I know that. I’m just anxious to see what new scheme he’s concocted.”

“How’s the sales figures for the week?”

“Still too soon to tell. Have a lot of deals in the works, so it looks promisin’.” Joe shot Beans a self-satisfied smile. “I’ll sure enjoy that beer you’re gonna buy me.”

“The three months ain’t up, yet. That boy of yours can still manage to lose the farm. I wouldn’t be countin’ your pull tabs—”

“Shhhh!” Joe pressed the mute button, then the volume, catching the tail of the announcement, “...brought to you by Peschke Motors.”

Tanner stood in front of the cameras, looking calm and happy. “Good evening, Austin. I’m Tanner Peschke, with Peschke Motors. Here at Peschke Motors we pride ourselves in...”

“Sure looks like his mother, doesn’t he?” Beans remarked.

“Yup.” Joe could see so much of Sarah in young Tanner. That girl had been the love of his life. At times, he missed her so bad it hurt. That’s why, no matter how inept Tanner was at the car business, Joe couldn’t turn him out. Tanner was just like his mother. They were both kind-hearted and attracted people by their warmth and sunny dispositions.

“What’s that fool woman holdin’?” Beans interrupted Joe’s reverie.

Peering closer, Joe’s eyes widened. “Looks like a snake.”

“What’s that snake doin’?”

“I don’t know, but that Janine is looking a little on the blue side.”

Beans jumped from his chair. “Good God, she’s goin’ down.”

Joe rose, his gaze glued to the television. “Geez, Tanner, do somethin’.”He watched in morbid fascination as Tanner leaped into action, clawing at the snake wrapped around the girl squeezing her to death.

“Why’s he yelling for a chicken?” Beans asked.

“I don’t know, but Scott’s got one.”

Beans scratched his head. “Now what do you suppose they’re gonna do? Hit the snake with it?”

“No, look, they’re danglin’ it like a carrot.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the chick than the chicken.”

“I only hope that snake prefers chicken,” Joe said. When the snake let go of Janine and slithered toward the chicken, Joe let out the breath he’d been holding. “Holy cow, that was close.”

Beans shook his head. “Hey, she’s still lyin’ there. Think she’s dead?”

“Don’t know, but Tanner’s had enough CPR training, he oughta be able to help.” Joe was glad to see all those years his wife had taken their son to Boy Scouts hadn’t been a waste of time.

When Janine’s arms wrapped around Tanner’s neck, Beans chuckled. “Now, who’s resuscitatin’ who? Shouldn’t they be comin’ up for air soon? You’d think the girl would want some room to breathe.”

“I don’t think she wants to. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, she kinda likes my son.” Joe straightened, his chest puffing out, straining the buttons on his shirt.

The kiss ended and the next thing Joe knew, Tanner was rubbing his cheek, a confused expression on his face.

Beans slapped his leg. “I’ll be damned. If my eyes are seein’ right, that girl just slapped your son.”

“You’re seein’ right. What do you suppose it means?”

“A kiss and a slap, it could only mean one thing.” Beans glanced his way.

Joe raised his hand to his cheek, his gaze sweeping back to another place, another time. “Sarah slapped me after I stole our first kiss.” Joe whooped. “Those two kids are in love.”

A smile spread across Joe’s face and another graced Beans’s. The two men executed a loud high-five and adjourned to the kitchen for a cold beer to celebrate.

Chapter Seven

The phone hadn’t stopped ringing since Janine returned to her apartment, and her answering machine had maxed out at twenty messages.

Tanner had insisted on a quick trip to the emergency room where the doctor pronounced her fit as a fiddle and congratulated her on her performance on The Tarzan and Janine Show.

What was wrong with the people of Austin? Couldn’t they see the commercials for what they were? Each airing had been an unqualified disaster.