Taste the Heat (18 page)

“I outweigh you by a hundred pounds,” he told her, sitting on his heels. “It’s almost
impossible for you to escape. But I couldn’t do much in that position, either. To
assault you, I’d need to back up a bit. I’m not going to do that, though, until I
feel a shift in power.” As Jason spoke, her eyes lowered to his mouth. Biting off
a growl of frustration, he asked sharply, “So what’s gonna make me loosen my grip,
Angelle?”

Annoyance tightened her mouth. But when her gaze lifted, he could tell he’d gotten
through to her. Her eyes narrowed in thought. “When you think I’ve given up?”

“You got it.” At her pleased smile, he went on. “A predator waits until he feels you’ve
given up the fight. That moment you realize he’s in control and you stop defending
yourself. You go limp, and he gains complete control. Does that make sense?”

She nodded, and Jason could feel the shift in the air. She was in student mode now,
and he did a mental fist pump.

“If you’re in a position you can’t get out of, it’s your job to convince the attacker
that he’s accomplished his mission,” he said. “That the fight has left you. That it’s
okay for him to relax his grip and move on from subduing you to the actual assault.
Most victims, when they truly believe all hope is lost, stop fighting, hoping it’ll
just end soon. You’re going to pretend you’ve reached that point.”

“How?”

“You tell him that you give up,” Jason answered. “Say you’ll do whatever he wants.
You
pretend
to give him the power he craves by asking him not to hurt you, and you stop struggling.
That’s key, because if your actions don’t match your words, he won’t believe it.”

Angelle’s head tilted. Her gaze sharpened and her mouth scrunched. Avid curiosity
replaced every trace of breathless coquettishness when she asked, “So I don’t even
try to hit him?”

“Oh hell yeah. You’re gonna do some damage, you’re just gonna wait until he believes
you’ve given up, however long that takes. Once you feel the grip on your hips lessen,
you shrimp out. You shove your foot against his hip and push away, increasing the
distance, as you kick him in the face, hit, slap, do whatever you have to do to get
free and get the hell out of there.”

A spark lit her green eyes and he knew she was imagining herself doing just that.
With a sense of pride welling in his chest, Jason let his words sink in for another
moment, then he said, “Now I’m gonna lean down again, trying to pin you. I want you
to do everything I said. Pretend this is a real life situation. Kick my ass,” he added
with a grin. “Are you ready?”

A fierce look of determination crossed her face. “Yes, sir.”

Immediately, Jason clamped his hands around her shoulders. Below him, Angelle thrashed.
She shoved and grunted, trying to free herself even though they both knew it was futile.
Then, as discussed, her struggle started tapering off. She went limp in his arms.
As the attacker, Jason looked into her eyes, sizing her up to see if the power shift
was real.

In character, Angelle’s eyes softened as she placed her hands on his shoulders. “Please,
I’ll do whatever you want. Just—”

“Oh my God!”

At the sound of Colby’s voice, the lesson was forgotten. Jason pushed back on his
heels, hungry to see her face. He’d been thinking about her all day. His hands had
twitched, wanting to touch her. And here she was.

Damn, she looked good.

“Baby, what are you—”

“Don’t you
dare
baby me,” she spat, freezing inside the door. She thrust her fingers through her
hair, and Jason stiffened. Her hands were shaking.

Jumping up, his feet ate the distance between them as his arms reached out to hold
her. When she flinched from his touch, a cold prickle of apprehension wrapped around
his neck. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I said, don’t
baby
me.” Eyes wide, she looked at him as if she’d never seen him before. “You’re just
like all the rest of them, aren’t you?”

He didn’t understand. “What?” Her eyes flicked to the mat behind him, and a fist of
fear sank in his gut. The confidence he’d held all week drained away.

“Colby, Angelle’s one of my
students
,” he explained, knowing even as he did that it made no difference. From the look
in her eyes, it was clear she’d already made up her mind.

Her eyebrows lifted. “Angelle?” Nodding as if something suddenly made sense, she asked,
“The girl you and Cane were talking about at the restaurant. The one who inspired
that weird look between you?”

That
look
had been because Cane was interested in his recruit and Jason hadn’t wanted to bring
her up around Colby. In hindsight, maybe that had been a mistake. But before he could
even begin to explain that, she said incredulously, “So my brother knows about you
two?”

He laughed, but the sound was far from amused. Just this morning he and Colby had
made love. Twice. Then he’d given her the day without distraction so she could think.
Every time he’d wanted to call, he had restrained himself. He had been so damn sure
that after their night together, she’d realize that she was falling in love with him,
too. That he’d call her during his shift tomorrow or pick her up on Monday and she’d
be ready to start the rest of their lives.

But his plan had failed. Nothing he’d done the past few weeks had made a bit of difference.
The fact that this situation could be completely innocent wasn’t even a blip on her
radar. She was too busy acting as though she’d walked in on them fucking on the floor.

“Yeah, Cane knows Angelle,” he said. “He knows that she works at the station. That
she’s a
student
here. He is too, if you remember. He’s even here now, somewhere. If that had been
your brother on the ground, would you be freaking out?”

Colby glared, and Jason knew that wasn’t fair. She’d been upfront about her hang-ups.
And truth be told, if the situation were reversed, he wouldn’t be thrilled either.
But she was refusing to listen to reason.

A soft cough and movement had him turning back to Angelle. Honestly, he’d almost forgotten
she was still there. She looked between them as she pushed to her feet, her face taut
with guilt. “I-I’m so sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t mean to cause you any problems.
I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?” Colby asked. “That he had a girlfriend? He wouldn’t tell you that
now, would he? But don’t worry, honey. He doesn’t have one anymore.”

The words were sharp, but her voice broke at the end, giving her away.

Fear glistened her eyes, and a tremble shook her voice. Colby was hurting. It had
to mean she cared. Yet she was standing there, throwing away everything they’d built
over a damn misunderstanding.

Jason knew if they had any chance of making this work, he had to put his own anger
aside. Flexing his hands, he strove for calm as he said, “Colby, this isn’t what you
think. What you’re imagining didn’t happen. I’m not your dad. I’m not your ex. I’m
an instructor in a class that just ended, and one of my students asked for help. We
were going over a skill that I’d love to show
you
. That’s all that’s happening here.”

The battle was evident in her expressive eyes. A part of her wanted to believe in
him, wanted to believe in them. But when Angelle brushed past on her way to the door,
the softness that he saw last night—the look in her eyes that he’d believed was love—faded.
And the side that had decided years ago that all men were dogs won out.

Hesitating with her hand on her duffel bag, Angelle sent him an apologetic smile.
It would be easy to be mad at her. He
wanted
to blame her. But he couldn’t. The girl had a harmless crush. He should’ve set her
straight as soon as her feelings were obvious, but he’d ignorantly thought it’d only
make things more awkward. He’d always known she was never an honest threat to their
relationship. But not confronting the issue led to this disaster.

Turned out it was Jason’s fault after all.

Gripping the strap of her bag, Angelle spoke quietly. “He’s telling you the truth.”
Colby bristled, and Angelle turned to look her in the eyes. “Woman to woman, I did
go after him. I didn’t know he was seeing someone—but I never asked. Jason never did
anything inappropriate. He was only ever professional and kind.”

Colby didn’t reply. He hadn’t expected her to. But he was grateful Angelle had tried.

“Jason is an amazing man,” she continued. “I can’t be the only one who sees that.
Don’t be a stubborn ass.” With a final glance back at Jason, she left.

The room fell into silence.

“Colby, I…” He squeezed his temples with both hands, searching for the words to fix
this.

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete ass.” Colby sighed, her entire body
seeming to deflate before him. “Stubborn maybe,” she muttered with a long exhale.
“But I’m not an idiot. I heard what you said. I heard
her.
And I admit it’s possible that I misread…whatever that was.”

For the first time since she’d walked into the gym, Jason felt hope. But then her
glassy eyes lifted. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’m broken.”

Swift steps bought back the distance she’d put between them. Yanking Colby into his
arms, heart pounding, he shook his head. “No, baby. You’re not broken. You’ve been
hurt; I get that. But if we’re ever gonna work, you need to trust me. You believed
the worst tonight because that’s what you expected to see. But Colby, I promise you,
I’m not that guy. I’m not going to hurt you.”

A fat tear rolled down her smooth cheek. Another followed. As he swept them with his
fingertips, her lips lifted into a small, trembling smile. But he felt her slipping
away.

“No.”
Wrapping his arms tighter, he crushed her against him, his voice quaking with emotion.
“Don’t give up on us, Colby. Couples fight. We can come back from this.”

Her eyes closed as she lowered her head to his chest, shaking it as if to say,
I don’t think we can.

Desperation clawed his insides, tightening his chest. He refused to lose her now.
Grasping her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he lifted it and pressed his forehead
against hers, praying she’d open her beautiful eyes. When she didn’t, Jason went for
broke. “Colby, I love you.”

A sob shook her slender body. A matching one built in his throat. She had to feel
the same. They could fix this. It wasn’t over.

Colby flattened her lips into a hard line and finally opened her eyes…and Jason saw
his dreams for the future shatter.

Cupping his face in her hand she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Chapter Sixteen

“That’s amazing, sweetheart.” Jason wedged the cell phone between his ear and shoulder,
a smile forming at Emma’s excited chatter. His head pounded from lack of sleep. He
was restless after hours on shift with no calls, and his chest ached—though that had
nothing to do with his job. But he had his daughter. She would always have him. Their
family unit was back to two, and perhaps that was as it should be.

“Yep, I totally kicked his butt,” she declared. “After the first hour, the fish just
stopped biting for him. Pops said it’s because I’m so sweet.”

Jason suspected it was more like a combination of the old man’s soft spot for his
granddaughter and good old-fashioned trickery. But as Emma giggled in his ear, the
sound like a balm to his dropkicked heart, he was grateful whatever the reason.

“Well, you be sure to stick it to him good for me.” He plopped his feet on his desk,
picking up the picture of them in Biloxi last summer. “Do you know that in all the
trips he’s dragged me on, I’ve never caught more than him?”

She
whooped
and began taunting both men gleefully. In the background, he heard his mom scream
at her favorite soap opera. Everything sounded so…normal. Eyeing the clock, Jason
counted the hours until he could go home.

Rubbing a circle over the pain in his chest he said, “How about a celebratory fish
fry tomorrow when I get home?”

“Mmm, sounds yummy. Can Colby come, too?”

The sound of her name in his daughter’s sweet voice nearly killed him. How in the
hell did he answer that? He couldn’t destroy Emma’s hopes over the damn phone. He
couldn’t even imagine doing it in person. His greatest fear had come true, and there
was no one to blame for the fallout but him.

Ever since Colby had walked back into his life, he’d encouraged Emma’s matchmaking
schemes. Maybe not overtly, but in small ways he’d allowed it to continue. He’d pushed
Colby to join their camping trip when she hesitated. He’d let Emma invite her to the
Recognition Assembly. And at the restaurant the other day, he’d practically worn a
neon sign in front of God and everyone declaring his growing feelings.

Even though Jason had been wrong, even though Colby didn’t love him, he knew she cared
about his daughter. She wouldn’t shut Emma out. But after proclaiming his love like
a jackass, Jason wasn’t sure
he
could handle being around Colby again.

“I don’t know, Em,” he told her, his voice tight. Clearing his throat, he went for
a diversion. “But you can invite Molly and Ava over. Now that summer break has started,
it won’t be a school night. Y’all can have a sleepover.”

It was a cheap trick. A pathetic attempt at distraction—but it worked like a charm.
For the next few minutes, Emma went into passionate detail, describing all the movies
they’d watch and the snacks he’d have to buy. Following the maze of words and topics
kept Jason’s mind occupied, and he decided right then and there that this would be
the best damn sleepover in the history of sleepovers. After everything she’d been
through in her young life, his daughter deserved it.

“Oh, and we’ll need doughnuts,” Emma said. “Dad, what do you think—”

A loud bell pierced the air. A red light flashed over his head. Jason shot to his
feet.

Emma’s sharp intake of breath hit his ear as a booming voice called for three engines,
a ladder, and the medic. “Respond to a structure fire at Twenty-six Boudreaux Park
west of Lafayette. Zone Five.”

“Daddy?!?”

Fear coated Emma’s voice. It was the same sound he awoke to whenever she’d had one
of her nightmares. They weren’t as frequent anymore, but dreams of losing him like
she’d lost her mother still tortured her some nights. In their small town, the department
rarely responded to more than nine hundred calls in a year. But every fire Jason went
into spurred another dream for Emma.

Tucking the cell phone by his ear, he ran toward his gear. “Everything’s gonna be
fine, Bug. I have to go now, but I love you. So much.”

Her loud sniff carried over the sound of his boots smacking the ground. “I love you,
too, Daddy. Please,
please
be safe.”

“Always,” he promised.

In a matter of minutes, Jason was dressed and racing down Main Street. Pushing past
the guilt of Emma’s fear and the pain of Colby’s rejection, he began preparing for
the task ahead. Fires were messy. Every one he’d encountered was unique and unpredictable.
But this was what he’d trained for.
This
was something he could handle. And he was ready.

…

“Colby?” Cane widened the door as he stepped back, motioning for her to come inside.
Staring first at her wardrobe and then at the key in her hand, he raised an eyebrow
and said, “I thought you were sick.”

In a manner of speaking.

Colby doubted her big brother considered heartache a legitimate illness. Especially
not self-inflicted heartache. But after tossing and turning all night and then berating
herself for being a spineless coward all afternoon, she was fairly sure she was normal
sick, too.

Padding inside the home of her childhood, she breathed in the familiar scent of lemon.
“I just needed to be here.”

Cane gave her a searching look and nodded.

She had been in a daze since dawn. After waking up alone, which was completely her
own fault, she’d walked down the hallway with swollen eyes. She’d ruined her eggs
and burned her toast.
What the hell kind of chef burns toast?
Her glass of fresh squeezed orange juice held no taste. Even her morning shot of
caffeine did nothing to clear the static in her head. When her sad yet determined-to-recover
sister got a good look at her, she’d sent Colby straight to bed, on strict orders
to take the day off. Considering what she’d done to her breakfast, it was probably
for the best.

But Colby never went back to sleep. She’d lain in bed, watching crap daytime television.
She’d bawled at every Hallmark commercial. Chucked her pillow at the romantic love
scenes. And after
Ellen
, she’d finally dragged her sorry ass out of bed. The adorably perky host had reunited
a guest with her first love, and Colby couldn’t take anymore. With the walls of Sherry’s
house closing in, she escaped to her car, still dressed in her faded cat pajamas.
Then she headed here, to the house that had created the starry-eyed girl she used
to be.

The girl she wished she still was.

Now, Colby’s slippered feet carried her forward. Cane fell in step behind her, his
heavy footfalls echoing on the hardwood. Butterflies swarmed her stomach and tears
pricked her eyes when she reached her final destination. “It looks exactly the same.”

The butcher-block island. Dark oak cabinets. And umpteen magnets on the fridge. Cast
iron pots dangled from the ceiling, and the aged
get it while it’s hot
sign hung over the sink.

They’d gathered here after their father’s funeral, but even then, Colby hadn’t lingered.
In the years since she’d left, the handful of holidays she’d actually come home for,
she’d made it a point to never stay in this room longer than was absolutely necessary.

Cane chuckled. “Did you expect me to knock it down the minute y’all signed it over
to me? Dad would haunt my ass from the grave.”

Skimming her hand along the granite countertop, Colby shrugged. “I don’t know what
I expected,” she admitted, somehow feeling more lost than when she’d walked in. “For
some reason I just felt like I had to be here.” She glanced around, failing to see
any mystical signs from her mom, and sighed. “Sounds pretty stupid now that I say
it aloud.”

Frustrated and exhausted, she leaned her back against the cabinets and stared at the
mottled tile beneath her feet. Ever since she’d come home, her life had been a constant
roller coaster. And she was ready to get off.

Every street corner held a memory. Restaurants in two different states depended on
her. Her head chef Matt had earned his promotion twice over since she’d left Vegas,
but it was still on her shoulders—along with her family’s legacy. The man she’d fantasized
about her entire life, the man she’d fallen head over heels in love with, had actually
told her he loved her. And in response, she’d
apologized
.

Broken didn’t even cover what she was.

“You okay, sis?”

Colby replied with a thin-lipped smile, blinking back tears that insisted on forming,
and Cane gave her foot a pointed kick. “You sure about that?”

Remembering her appearance—cat pajamas, ratty slippers, messy ponytail, no makeup—she
laughed, only it came out more like a garbled sob. “Not so much.”

Before her next breath, her brother had her wrapped in his big, bulky arms. Burying
her head in the rock wall of his chest, she let the tears flow.

He kissed the top of her head. “You know that whatever it is, you can talk to me,
right?” She nodded but kept her face tucked against him. “I might not have breasts
like Sherry, but I
do
have two functioning ears. And thanks to a houseful of women, I even know to shut
up and not try and fix it.”

Colby laughed through her blubbering. Wiping her eyes, she raised her head and said,
“Yeah, I know.”

He smiled. When she didn’t follow that with a baring of her soul, he ran his hands
up and down her arms. “You’ll be okay here for a minute? I want to get you something.”

“Sure,” she said, catching the time on the microwave. “But don’t you have to get back
to the restaurant?” It was just after four-thirty, and Cane never showed up after
five on a Saturday.

“The world won’t end if I’m late once,” he told her, already backing away. “There’s
something I need to give you. Don’t go anywhere, all right?”

She nodded, her nose scrunched as he jogged from the room.
Something he needs to give me.
She didn’t have the faintest idea what it could be, but if it was money, she was
going to deck him.

To keep herself from another ugly cry, Colby decided to spend the minutes digging
through the drawers. Cane hadn’t changed a thing since inheriting the house. The junk
drawer still held a slew of crap best dumped in the trash, and the kitchen utensils
remained mismatched and haphazard. For some reason, the familiarity made her smile.
She lifted her head, chest feeling lighter than it had all day, and found herself
staring at an apron hanging on the side of the fridge.

A
checkered
apron.

Her
apron.

“Got it.”

Her brother’s voice at her ear caused Colby’s heart to spasm. Spinning around, she
slapped his bulging bicep. “You nearly gave me a heart attack, you freak.”

“Not my fault you zoned out,” he said with a grin. “I’d be shirking my sibling duty
if I didn’t take advantage.”

“And we wouldn’t want that,” she replied, shifting her head to the left to steal another
look at her apron.

Following her gaze, Cane lifted his chin. “You know that’s been there since you left
for New York.”

Now that she was busted, Colby turned around to get a good look, wondering why she
hadn’t noticed it before. But then, she knew why. It was on the side of the fridge
near Dad’s special alcove, the spot he kept all his prized recipes and spices. During
those few short visits home, if she did venture into the kitchen, she avoided
that
corner like it held the plague. “Oh.”

“You know, Colby, I’m not blind,” he said, shocking her attention back to him. Cane
exhaled and ran his hand over his face. “I knew about the tension between you and
Dad. And I have a pretty good idea why, too.”

He slid a hunter green envelope from his pocket and held it out to her.

Colby’s hand flinched at her side, but other than that, she was frozen. “Dad’s stationery.”

“I found this in Dad’s desk a couple days ago.” Her eyes flicked to his, and Cane
shook his head. He retracted the eerie note from beyond and flipped it over, pointing
to the front cover where her name was written in her father’s tight scrawl. Shivers
skated down her spine. “No, I didn’t read it. I got my own letter.”

“Did you read yours?”

He shook his head again. “But I can guess what’s in it.”

I bet you can’t.

Cane held the envelope out again, and this time she took it. The tips of her fingers
tingled as they touched the stiff paper. Shifting his feet, there was an apology in
her brother’s voice as he said, “We should have talked about this years ago.”

Colby’s hand tightened around the missive as fear, anger, and even hope mingled in
her chest. Did he know about their father’s secret—her secret? “Talked about what?”

Cane folded his arms and leaned his hips back against the butcher-block island. With
a shake of his head he said, “At first, I really did think that school in New York
and the job in Vegas were good things. You wanting to get out of Dad’s shadow. Make
a name for yourself. And damn girl, did you ever.” The smile he gave her was full
of pride, then, it turned to something else. “But after a few years of excuses and
you never coming home, and a few more where you did and it was uncomfortable as hell,
I realized you
knew.
”

At that one word, and the emphasis he placed on it, Colby’s knees gave out.

“Oh, God.” She fell back against the counter, covering her mouth with a shaky hand.
“You knew, too.”

“Walked in at the end of a phone call where he was apparently ending it,” Cane replied.
“Of course, Dad denied it. But I knew what I’d heard and by that point, I’d already
heard the rumors. The woman left town not too long after that, and he came to me full
of apologies.” Cane laughed once, and harsh. “I wanted nothing to do with it. I was
furious. Beyond furious—I was
pissed.
”

Colby nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. Except, Cane had been spared the visual.

“But after a while,” Cane continued, “I don’t know, he was still my dad. Mom was happier
than I’d seen her in years. I never heard another rumor. It’s not like I ever forgot
what he did—I’ll never forget that.” He shrugged his large shoulders. “But I guess
I forgave him for being flawed.”