Tatted Cowboy (9 page)

“Did she just.”  I give her a
so not impressed
look.

Mum nods, unaffected by my clear displeasure.  “Gran seems to think he’s a lovely young man.”

“I bet she does,” I mutter under my breath.

“Promise me something?” Mum asks, her tone taking on a serious note.

“What?”

“Promise me you won’t close yourself off. I know you still punish yourself, sweetheart.  But, don’t punish yourself for the rest of your life.  That’s no way to live.  We only get one life, Laura, and it’s up to us to make the most of it.  Denying ourselves things that make us happy is not a good way to spend our time on earth.”

“I know,” I say quietly.  She’s right, but she’s also wrong.  I admit, I have punished myself and I have blamed myself.  In some ways, I still do.  But, I’m also healing.  Yes, it’s a slow ride.  But, I’m getting there.

“We were so happy when you told us about this house and the salon, darling. 
So
happy.  This is a step in the right direction for you.  Just keep walking this road you’re on, one step at a time.  We’re proud of you. 
So
proud.”  Tears glisten in her eyes as she speaks from her heart.  She stands and then leans down to kiss my cheek.  Then she whispers in my ear, “Don’t deny yourself love.”  She pats my shoulder and she walks inside.

I finish off my beer and the grab the empty pizza boxes.  Dumping them in the bin, I stand in the dark trying not to let my mind wander to the sad place.  The place where all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry for days, consumed with melancholy and thoughts of everything I’ll never have when it comes to my son.

Pushing the thoughts away, I take a deep breath and rejoin my guests. Luke looks up from speaking with my dad as he senses me approach.  Doing a quick look over my face, he frowns and excuses himself to walk over to me.

“You okay?” he asks, leaning down to meet my height.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  It’s all just a bit overwhelming,” I partially lie.

“Well, if you’re scared, I could always stay the night.  I’m good at warding off monsters.”  He smiles and I find myself reciprocating.  His smile is contagious.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“The offer’s there if you need it.”  He places his hand on the small of my back as we walk back to take our seats.  Even the cool chair does nothing to tame the burning feel where he touched me.

God, I’m in trouble.

LAURA

“Hey, Gran,” I call, walking through her front door.  I don’t bother knocking, since I know she will only tell me I don’t have to – I am her granddaughter, after all, and family shouldn’t knock.  It’s something she has always said to me.  The smell of roast meat smacks me in the face as soon as I walk through the door.  My mouth begins to water and I follow the scent right to the kitchen.

Gran is bent over the oven, a fork in her hand, prodding the potatoes to check if they are done.

“Hello, love,” she says, standing.

“Smells delicious,” I tell her, walking over to give her a kiss on the cheek.  “Mmm chicken.” I peek over her shoulder and into the oven, and breathe deep.

“It will be ready soon. I made a bread and butter pudding for dessert, too,” she states proudly.

“Can’t wait.  Do you need any help?”

“No, it’s all sorted.  Actually, can you set the table for me?”

“Of course.  Are you sure you don’t need a taste tester?” I tease.

She shoos me out with a flick of her tea towel, laughing as I scurry away. 

By the time I set the table, there’s a knock on the door.

“Can you get that, love?” Gran calls.

“Sure,” I call back, making my way to the front door.  Through the lace curtain over the glass door, I can see Luke standing there, a bunch of fresh flowers gripped in his hand.

“Hey.” I smile, opening the door.  He looks gorgeous.  He’s wearing a pair of dark denim jeans that look new and a button-up, pale blue, short sleeve shirt.  I can see his tattoos from his wrists to his elbows, snaking up his arms, a vast array of solid black and colours.

“Afternoon, Laura,” he greets, giving me a panty dropping grin.  His eyes travel up and down my body once before coming back to rest on my face.  “You look beautiful,” he compliments.

“Thank you,” I reply, a little shyly.  I’m wearing a simple summer dress; deep blue and turquoise swirls swim over the fabric and a chunky black belt wraps around my waist, just under my breasts.  The ruffles around the hem and the fact that it is slightly shorter in the front and then dips down in the back gives it that something extra.  I had a pair of black wedges on my feet, but I took them off when I first walked into Gran’s, so I’m barefoot now, and the height difference between us is even more apparent.  He towers over me, his frame dwarfing my own, and I can’t help but love it.  I need to get a grip.

“Come in, please,” I rush out, forgetting my manners.

He steps through the door as I move off to the side, pressing my back against the cool glass.  His body brushes mine as he slowly,
slowly,
manoeuvres past me.  He stops and I look up to meet his eyes, my breath catching in my throat as he reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair from my face.  “Beautiful,” he whispers.  He walks through the house and into the kitchen, while I stand there, trying to gather my wits.

“This is for you,” he rumbles, pressing a single flower against my chest.  My hand comes up to grasp the stem, my fingers brushing over his, giving me a zap of electricity at the contact.

“Isn’t Luke a gentleman, love?” Gran says, as she fills a vase with water and arranges the bunch of flowers Luke brought with him.

“Uh-huh,” I nod, lost for words.  “Thank you,” I whisper, clutching my rose.

“Welcome.”

Lunch actually goes really well.  I finally seem to be able to relax a little more and Luke seems to really appreciate me joining in the conversation.  He barely takes his eyes off me, which, on one hand makes me feel a little self-conscious.  But, on the other hand, it is like my body craves it; longs for his gaze.

After we have finished lunch, Gran serves bread and butter pudding – which, thankfully, she left the sultanas out of. I hate those pesky things.  Then, we move out onto the back patio to enjoy the sun.  Luke follows Gran out, carrying the drinks, while I do a quick tidy up from lunch so Gran won’t have to do it later.  I quickly rinse the dishes and place everything in the dishwasher before turning it on to cycle. I know she will have a fuss if she catches me doing it, so I hurry.  Then, I join them outside.  When I walk out, Gran is sitting across the table from Luke, who is stretched out, legs crossed at the ankles, enjoying the sun that’s beating down on him.  He looks like a vision … a golden, delicious vision, good enough to lick.

Gran is talking his ear off, but Luke is listening intently – either that, or he is a good actor.

“… and Gladys is just as bad as Josie. They sit up the front on their high horses, turning their noses up at everyone else. They drive me wild.”

“Not much you can do, Marj.  Just keep trying to win the prizes, piss her off even more,” Luke is advising her as I take my seat.

I bug my eyes out at him.  “Don’t encourage her!”  Gran is clearly having a bitch about the ladies at Bingo.

“Babe.” He shakes his head, a small grin tugging on his plump lips.  “Josie’s a bitch.  Whole town knows it.”

I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t.  That’s it.
That’s
his explanation.

“And?” I prompt.

He shakes his head, still smiling, letting me know there is no
and.

“Ugh!” I throw my hands up and drop them down in my lap.  “You two are as bad as each other.  Gran,” I say, turning to face her.  “Ignorance is bliss.  If you ignore your haters, they’ll go away. Didn’t Great Gran ever tell you that growing up?”

She thinks for a moment.  “Nope.” She shakes her head once.  “My parents used to tell me that a quick fist to the nose will shut anyone up.”

“Oh my god!” I can’t help it, I burst out laughing.

Luke’s deep, rich laughter has me quieting to turn and watch him.  His body is shaking in the chair, his white teeth on display.  Deep crinkles spread out from his eyes, which are dancing with delight.  I tear my eyes away to look at Gran, who’s wearing her smug grin proudly.  She’s looking between the two of us, clearly enjoying the humour she’s responsible for.

“Oh, Gran!  What am I going to do with you?”

“Don’t be worried about me, love.  Be worried for Josie.”

I look back to Luke and start laughing again. 
Look out, Josie. 

LAURA

I stand in the centre of the room and look around, pride swelling in my chest.  Everything is exactly the way I want it … except for that picture.  I walk over to the large canvas print of a rose in mid-bloom and straighten it.  There. Perfect. 

My salon is perfect.  It’s better than anything I could have imagined and for the first time in a long time, I feel proud of myself.

This last week, since Mum and Dad left, Gran and I have been in promotion overdrive.  We had fliers printed up and we put them in every mailbox, on every notice board and anywhere and everywhere else we could.  I also contacted the local radio station and had them put an advertisement over the air for me.  And, I took out a quarter page ad in the
Darwin Daily
.

The grand opening of Inner Beauty is seven days away and I can barely contain my excitement. 

My shelves have been stocked with all the products I need and I’ve got some customers lined up.  Admittedly, said customers are Ava, Edie, Jules and Ava’s mother, Elizabeth Crawley.  But, customers are customers, and in a small town, word of mouth is golden.  Hopefully they’ll enjoy the service I give them and then spread their delight far and wide!

As I’m looking around, basking in my glory, I catch sight of the time.
Shit.
I grab my handbag and walk out the door, making sure it locks behind me.

I’m supposed to be meeting Ava for drinks and dinner at the pub in ten minutes.  Since I’ve been so busy getting the salon sorted, we haven’t really had a lot of time to catch up properly.  We’ve kept in contact by texting daily, but nothing beats a good girls’ night.

***

Ten minutes later, I walk through the doors of The Cow and Calf.  My phone pings in my hand, so as I’m walking down the hall to the bar area, I read the text from Ava. 

Running a bit late. Be there in 10 x

I reply,
ok
, and hit send just as I enter the bar, and because I’m not watching where I’m going, I almost run into someone.

Since my eyes are downcast, the first thing I notice is the perfectly frayed hem of his jeans resting on the heels of his well-worn cowboy boots.

My mouth waters.  What is it about that look that makes it so sexy?

I lift my gaze higher, over his calves and up to find two thick, solid, muscular thighs.

I swallow hard.

Of their own accord, as if they can’t help themselves, my eyes lift again.

My gaze immediately goes to the imprint of his wallet in his back pocket. 
So hot.
  Then, I notice how his jeans are riding low on his hips and how they fit perfectly snug across his deliciously proportioned arse.  They’re not too loose and not too tight.  Just right. 
So
right.

He turns and my eyes come up quickly, catching his face.  My breath lodges in my throat and I feel my lips part.

A cocky grin pulls at his lips.  Full, luscious, kissable lips I want to lick.  Instead, I trace my tongue over my own.

His eyes drop and he follows the movement before meeting my gaze again.  Then, he speaks.  And that deep, raspy voice I can’t stop thinking about fills my ears again and I want to sigh.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?”

I roll my eyes.  “Is that the best you’ve got?”

He opens his mouth to say something else, but instead, a burst of rich, smooth laughter escapes.

My hand flies to my hip and I cock it out, raising an eyebrow questioningly at him.  He sees right through my stern act and continues laughing.  I know I’m flirting, but I can’t seem to help it.

“You’re too cute,” he smirks.

“I wasn’t trying to be cute.”

“I don’t think you could help it if you tried,” he throws back, his features turning soft.

“I’ll have to try harder then.”
God, I’m such a flirt.

“Try as hard as you want, sweetheart,” he says through a chuckle.  Reaching out, he tucks a stray piece of my hair behind my ears and I have to try hard to resist the urge to lean into his touch.  I succeed … barely.

Since Luke started coming around to Gran’s on Sundays for dinner, I’ve gotten to know him much better and I’m a lot more comfortable around him.  Granted, my body still buzzes when he’s near and I spend most of my time in his company trying to avoid undressing him with my eyes, but things are going well.  He’s good to talk to and he listens intently when I speak about my hopes and dreams for the salon.  In fact, he listens intently to everything I have to say.  And, he encourages me to go after what I want.

He’s a good friend, even if I wish he were more than a friend.

“Well, uh, I better go,” I say, looking around for Ava.  “I’m meeting someone.”

“Who?” he fires out, his face turning hard.

“Ava,” I reply, a frown knitting my brows.

“Good.” His body visibly relaxes and I feel more confused than ever. 
The man is strange!

An arm goes around my shoulder and Ava’s voice meets my ears.  “Hey, Laur.  Sorry I’m running late.  Hey, Luke.”

“Ava.  How’s it goin’?”

I turn to meet her, my arm going around her, as she replies, “Good thanks”, to Luke. 

“No worries,” I say.  “I haven’t been waiting long.  It’s so good to see you,” I say, excitement in my voice.

“You, too!  Let’s go get our drink on.”

I glance to Luke, who’s watching me attentively, as Ava leads me away.

We reach the bar and slide onto a vacant stool each.  Sienna sees us and comes right over to serve us.

“Hello!” I smile.

“Hey, Laura. How are you?  Sorry I haven’t been able to do lunch this week, I’ve been busy learning the ropes.  Next week?”

“Absolutely.  Actually, my grand opening of the salon is on the twelfth.  I’d love you to come down if you’re not working.”

“I’ll be there for sure if I’m not working.  Are you celebrating that night? We should have drinks.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a great plan.  Oh my gosh! Excuse my bad manners.  Sienna, do you know Ava?”

“No.” She shakes her head and looks to Ava with a smile.  “Hi, I’m Sienna, Doreen’s niece.”

“Oh! You’re Edie’s replacement.  I’m so glad. Dory couldn’t run this place all by herself. She was driving herself into the ground.”

“Yeah, she was. Stubborn woman,” Sienna agrees.

“What do you think about drinks after my opening?  Are you free?” I ask Ava.

“Wouldn’t miss it. I’ll ask Edie and Jules, too, if you like?”

“I would love that.”  I smile.

“Awesome. Now, what can I get you girls to drink?”

“I’ll start with a white wine, please,” I answer.

“Just a beer, thanks Sienna.  It was nice to meet you.”

“You, too.  Coming right up.”

She walks away to fetch our drinks and Ava turns to face me.  “She seems lovely.”

I nod.  “She does. I met her here a few weeks ago, and we connected right away.  She seems like our kind of people.”

Soon, Sienna returns with our drinks and we spend the next few hours drinking, chatting and eating our way through a plate of bar snacks.

***

“So, what’s really been happening with you?  There’s sadness in your eyes I can’t get past, Laura,” Ava says softly.

I take a deep breath and stare at the wooden bar counter, taking a minute to gather my thoughts.

I think it is about time I let Ava in, but not here. Not in a room full of people.

Finally, I look up at her concerned eyes and ask, “Want to get some takeaways and go to my place?”

“Sure,” she says, looking over my face, her tone concerned.

We buy a six-pack of vodka pre-mix drinks and say goodnight to Sienna before making the short walk to my house.

“Take a seat and I’ll put these in the fridge.”

“Cool.  This is a beautiful house, Laur!”

“Yeah, I’m really happy here,” I call, my head stuck in the fridge as I look for the block of Camembert cheese I know I bought last week.

I find the cheese and slice it up onto a plate with some crackers and semi-dried tomato pieces.  I add some grapes and then take the plate of nibbles and a drink each for us out to the lounge area where Ava is sitting, her legs curled under her.

“Hungry?”

“Actually, I am,” she says through a laugh.  She loads her cracker with tomato and cheese before popping it into her mouth, while I nibble nervously on a grape.

“So, um, have you heard anything about me?” I ask, wanting to know if she knows anything at all about what’s happened in the past few years.

“No, not really.  I thought I heard a few years ago that you were married, but I can’t be certain.  Though, the amount of sexual energy between you and Luke, I’m assuming you’re either not married anymore, or I’m imagining that you ever were.” She laughs again.

“Firstly, there’s no sexual energy between me and Luke—”

“Uh, you’re kidding me right now, right?  Don’t tell me you’re another Jules and can’t see what’s happening when it’s seriously about to bite you in the arse?”

“What?” I burst out laughing, and just like that my earlier apprehension suddenly vanishes.

“Oh, yeah. You have no idea.  But, that’s a story for another day.”  She loads another cracker, but pauses before putting it in her mouth.  “Seriously, though, Luke’s a great guy, Laur.  He’d be good for you.”  She eats her cracker and I reach for my drink, sucking half of it back before sitting back down and opening my heart, baring my soul.

“I was married,” I begin, my voice quiet.  “I also have a son…” Tears burn my eyes and I squeeze them shut tightly.  “Had.” My voice cracks with emotion.  I clear my throat and continue.  “I had a son.  His name is Gus.”

Ava’s warm hand settles on my forearm, soothing me.

“He passed away in a drowning accident.  He was only two years old.  My husband, Frank, blamed me and our marriage fell apart.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so, so sorry.”  Ava’s voice is thick with emotion and I look over at her through my blurry eyes to see her wiping her cheeks.  “I don’t know what else to say, except I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.  I’m slowly learning to live my new normal.”

“I bet your son is gorgeous.”

“He is …
was
…”

“Laura, he
is
.  He lives on in you, babe.  It’s okay to speak in present tense about him, because as long as you’re alive, then he’s still part of you.”

“Thank you,” I choke out.

“Don’t thank me. I wish I was there for you. I wish I’d known.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t want anyone in Pine Creek to know.  It’s why I moved back here. I was sick of the
poor girl
looks I was getting in Mount Isa.  I had to get away and start fresh.”

“Let’s get drunk,” she mutters.

“Sounds good,” I mutter back.  Lifting my bottle, I clink it with hers and put it to my lips, tipping back and swallowing as the cool lemon and vodka flavoured drink fills my mouth.

Standing, I walk over and hit play on my iPod.  The sound of Dierks Bentley fills the room as we chill.  Occasionally we talk, but mostly we just relax in comfortable silence, drinking ourselves drunk.