Tattoo (2 page)

THREE

I hadn't been on many first dates, so I hadn't had a lot of practice. First dates meant relationships, which meant getting attached. It was something I was not in the habit of doing. But I was excited, and damn was I nervous. I picked this little romantic Italian restaurant for dinner at 8:15. It was a run down hole in the wall that severed the best Italian food I'd ever had. I realized I had no idea what kinds of movies she liked. Comedy, romantic, horror? Instead of screwing the whole thing up, I thought it was a better plan to let her pick. I wanted it all to be perfect.

Not only did I not tell any of my friends where I was headed instead of going to the party, I hadn't even told them I wasn't going. I kept telling myself it was just in case the date sucked, I'd have a backup plan. Maybe she'd be dull, or annoying, or self-involved and I'd want to dump her off early, fake a stomach-ache or something and then laugh later on at the party about why I never do dates. But that was a very big load of crap. Truth was, I  didn't tell them because I didn't really care about them.

That was the sad truth, I realized, as Blake kept texting me to bring some beer, and I kept pretending I didn't hear the buzzing of my phone. I just didn't care about what they were doing or what they needed. I had started to wonder if our friendships were all fake. They seemed to be based on parties, who was an athlete, who was dating who, who was popular this week. I wasn't sure if that was the case or if it was just another Senioritis symptom, but if it was true then why should they care what I was really doing for the night? I knew I didn't care what they were doing.  I turned off my phone.

A roller coaster was riding through my stomach between nervous and excited and I showed up at her house at 7:30. I decided to circle the block. I thought at least it would let my nerves settle a bit. Instead it amped everything up more. It was like being the opening pitcher for an away game; you're ready to play but you have to wait until the other team is done pitching first. What an anxious wait that is. I usually end up jumping around the dugout just because I can't sit still.

After circling about ten times, it was finally 7:55, a respectable time to knock on the door. Her father answered. He was an angry looking man who I was surprised didn't answer with a loaded shotgun in his hand.

"Hello Mr. Cole, I'm Eric." I stuck out my hand to shake his. I double checked, there was no gun.

"Hello," he replied. Not even a glint of a smile from him as he shook my hand and stared me cold in the eyes.

"Oh would you stop it," a warm voice floated out of the door behind him. "I'm Lauren's mom, come on in, it's freezing outside!" Her mom popped out into the door way.

"Thank you ma'am." I said, and followed her in.

"Oh my, no need for "ma'am" around here! Lauren's told us so much about you. You play baseball?"

Before I could answer, her dad interrupted.

"Where are you taking her?"

"Oh for goodness sakes, would you relax Phil?" Her mom gave him a playful swat.

He just kept staring at me. I could see my charm was going to be completely lost on him, so I went for the straight arrow approach. That was something I hadn't been in a very long time.

"There's this little Italian place in town that has the best pasta, so I made a reservation there.  And then I thought she should pick the movie. I want it to be something she likes." I probably sounded like a cheesy ass, but it was all the truth.

"Oh aren't you so sweet!"

At least her mom was excited, her dad just kind of gave me a grunt and a nod. I had won over her mom, but I didn't know if he'd ever like me. It was either a problem I'd never had before, or just a problem I hadn't really cared about before, but I was in uncharted territory. 

Her mom continued to ask me a ton of questions. She was bubbly, friendly and sweet, but her dad stood arms crossed against his chest sizing me up. When Lauren finally came down the stairs, it was my turn to stare. She was wearing black leggings that hugged her like a second skin and this red dress that made her hair darken an entire shade, to make it midnight black. She looked unbelievable. 

"Sorry it took so long. Dad made me change."

"That's ok. You were worth the wait," I said, in raw honesty. 

"Oh you're just so sweet. Have a great time!" her mom said, and to my surprise gave us both a hug.

"Have her back by 11:00," her dad said.

"Dad, that's not even enough time to see a movie."

"Fine, 12:00. I'll be waiting."

I fell in love with Lauren Cole while she had a little drip of spaghetti sauce left on her chin. There we were, in this little dive of a restaurant where the smell of garlic could have peeled the wallpaper off, and in some spots it might have done just that. She looked up at me from her plate, slurping up a noodle, laughing at a joke I don't even remember. Her eyes danced with the candlelight and I saw a little spot of sauce had fallen to her chin. I brushed it away with my fingertips. The touch sent sparks coursing through my entire body. I fell in love.

Instead of seeing a movie, she wanted to take a walk around town, a little night time tour, so I obliged. It started to snow as we held hands and I took her for a walk along the cobbled streets. I showed her the little shops in our old town. Everything excited her, she wanted to see it all. We talked, one conversation gliding right into the next. It was so easy, so comfortable, I knew I could spend my whole life that way. Outside of the little movie theater where we were supposed to be, she stopped suddenly and  swung me around. Snow flakes stuck to our eye lashes and her nose was bright red from the cold. She kissed me, so lightly I wasn't sure it had happened, until she did it again. 

It was that feeling of taking your first sip of hot chocolate. It was warm, and she tasted sweet, and she made me sigh with complete contentment when we parted. I'd never done that before, and I wanted to do it again, and again. 

FOUR

It is safe to say that if Lauren didn't fall in love with me at the exact moment I fell in love with her, it was very shortly after. It was the kind of relationship that made it hard to breath or think unless she was with me. But then again when she was with me all I could feel was the heat of her skin, and smell her shampoo. My lips never seemed to get enough of her sweet taste and my hands learned every inch of her until I couldn't breathe or think. Basically, falling in love made me a moron. But I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world. 

A few people were pissed that I skipped the party. But Lauren fit so seamlessly into my group of friends that those who were pissed, quickly let it go. The very first party we went to, about two weeks after we started dating, she was quickly surrounded by the girls. While I hung out with the guys, I stole glances her way from across the room. She would have found her way up the popularity chain even if it hadn't been for me, but I couldn't have been happier that she did it with her hand in mine. 

I set my beer down on the flip cup table and strode over to her. I circled my arms around her waist and kissed her on her beautiful smiling lips.

"If you wanted my attention you could have just asked," she teased.

"I was going for the abrupt approach."

"I think it worked," she answered as she looked behind my shoulder at the girls she had just been talking to. They were smiling and giggling just like little girls do.

"I just needed to tell you something real quick and then you can go back to your fun," I teased her.

She put her arms around my neck, wrapping me in her warmth, making me even more sure of what I was going to do next. I closed my eyes and dove right in.

"I love you," I told her. 

I held my breath as I waited a beat. I didn't know what she'd say. I knew two weeks was crazy to think you loved someone, but then again I had known during our first date. I had held it in for those two weeks and watching her at the party, laughing and tossing her hair, I knew I couldn't have held it in a minute longer. I hoped it hadn't been a mistake, but as the moment grew longer, dread hit my stomach.

I opened my eyes to see her smiling. 

"I love you too," she answered, and kissed me sweetly.

I realized I didn't know that last time I'd said those words to anyone, but I liked the way they felt.

There were some people that were less than thrilled with my relationship. I called them "The Other Girls." The girls that used to flutter around me trying to be the sexiest of the bunch. I almost always took the bait, not much else to do once your drunk and high. But with Lauren around, those girls, no matter how high their skirts, our how low their shirts, never even got a second look from me. I had turned into a one woman man.

And Lauren, she was amazing. Incredibly smart, funny, and fascinating. She was headed on a fast track for success and I wanted to be next to her the whole trip. She was so damn beautiful in ways that I couldn't have even imagined. Her smile radiated the kindness from her heart. You could feel her warmth and happiness just from a smile across the room. I'd never want to do anything to ever cause that smile to fade or one tear to fall from her beautiful eyes. 

While loving her might have made me a less than intelligent being sometimes, she made me a better person. I stopped needing to drink to push away my boredom and my angst, because I didn't feel those things anymore. Getting high used to get me to relax, float away on my puff of smoke, but I didn't need it. We'd go to parties, and I'm not going to say I never cracked open another can of beer, but I just didn't need it like I used to. Finally, my reality had become somewhere I wanted to live. 

We were crazy about each other, in every way possible. Including the physical. God, she was hotter than I could have ever dreamed.  When we'd kiss, she'd tease my tongue, a little dance entwined with hers. It was enough to make me hard just to think about. But we didn't have sex, not right away. We'd get heated and she turned me on to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I'd start to unbutton her pants and slip my fingers to where she was already waiting for me. It drove me wild that I knew she wanted me just as much. But she'd pull away and give me this heartbreaking smile and one last feather light kiss. 

"Not yet," she'd tell me. 

There was something in her eyes that told me she wasn't ready, something was beneath her surface.  It wasn't an easy thing to turn it off, when she so intensely turned me on. But I didn't want to push her on whatever was holding her back.  And I knew she would be incredibly worth the wait. Then, there finally came the night that I didn't need to wait anymore.

Our first month and a half flew past us. We spent every moment falling in love. But February hit us hard, winter had hit us even harder. It had been ice cold and snowy for what seemed like a life time. As much fun as it was to stay warm inside with a movie or hang out with everyone at a house party, cabin fever was making us restless. So when the snow settled for a night in the beginning of February we decided to hit an underage night at a club near the college. Underage or not didn't matter much; cause I was one of the lucky ones with a fake ID, but it was a damn good excuse to get out.

Once we got inside, the music was blasting. It was warm and packed dirty club wall to dirty club wall with people. I used my ID to get us some drinks and we sat in a booth watching people drink and stumble. She looked so amused watching the fun, so beautiful with her hair falling in curls down her back. I slammed back my drink and grabbed her hand. She must have caught the look in my eye because she slammed hers and we slid out of the booth. I took her to the dance floor where the bass pumped from everywhere.

I grabbed her and pulled her close, as close as I could make her. She slid her legs, tightly held by her dark jeans, around mine and started grinding up against me. I dipped and spun her, kissed her neck and buried my face in her tangle of curls. The cold melted around us and we began to sweat. Our eyes stayed locked on each others every moment they could. We both knew what we wanted, and we knew we couldn't wait another moment. We kissed and grabbed for each other from the dance floor to the door, to the parking lot, and finally my truck.

I wanted her more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life. I thought about driving off the road onto some little patch of field and having her right there in the front seat every time she kissed my neck. But for the first time I wanted so much more. It was often to my advantage that my parents were at business meetings or on business trips more often than not. That was one of those nights.

I took her hand and pulled her upstairs to my bedroom. We didn't say a word. I don't know who was more nervous, her or me, but I know my heart was pounding through my chest. I shut the door behind us and began to kiss her softly. A completely different feel from what we'd been doing in the club. The lust was still there, no doubt, but I wanted her to feel how much I loved her.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Absolutely," She answered.

I unzipped her jeans and let them fall to her feet. She took off my shirt and ran her hands down my back. I shivered with the feel as she touched every muscle and her fingers traced over my abs. I led her down to the bed. I took in every inch of her laying with only the moonlight streaming from the window to cover her body. I forgot how to breath. But she reminded me how when she pulled me on top of her and kissed the life back into me. 

I ran my fingers along every inch of her body making trails for my lips to follow.  Her skin burned me, leaving marks everywhere I touched. She was breathing heavy and quick, sucking in sharply every time I'd hit her favorite spots. I memorized those spots so that I could make her breathe that way every time. My fingers traced between her legs, my eyes watching her. She closed her eyes and began to moan quietly. She was driving me crazy with anticipation, and I must have been driving her just as crazy. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled my hands away from her.  Instead she pulled me inside of her. She let her breath escape from relief.  I took in every bit of air I could, surprised that anything could feel that perfect. 

When we were finished, we laid in the bed, panting heavily in a satisfied tangle of legs and arms. Her head lay on my chest while exhaustion caught up with us. Her breathing slowed and she fell asleep as I watched; her protector, her lover.

There are defining moments in everyone's life; moments that change it forever. Sometimes you recognize them, sometimes you don't. Meeting Lauren was one of those moments. And I knew being with her there would somehow be one too. I just never imagined how.