Tears on a Sunday Afternoon (13 page)

I sat back in my chair. This was going to be a long one.

My grandmother continued, rolling her eyes at me. “Once the older sister saw the dress, she wanted it. The younger sister refused to give the dress to the older sister because, after all, it was her dress. The younger sister was waiting to wear the dress to her high school prom. But the sisters were a year apart and the older sister’s prom came first. Of course, she wore it to the prom. Everyone at the prom saw the dress and the younger sister found out what the older sister had done. When the big sister came home, the younger sister was waiting with a knife. The younger sister took the knife and stabbed the older sister to death. Now the dress that no one wanted went from being a prom dress to a funeral dress. You want to know the moral of the story?”

“Yes, Grandma, I’m waiting,” I said.

“The moral of the story is: don’t take what you don’t want because someone else wants it. You might end up destroying yourself for something you never really wanted in the first place. Leave Julie alone with that man if she is happy with him. You had your chance and you didn’t take it.”

“Grandma…” I started to say something to her.

“Don’t say anything. Your actions will prove your words.” She paused. “I’m tired now, so I’m going to sleep.”

“Goodnight, Grandma,” I said as she kissed me on the forehead.

Grandma was right and I should have listened to her and left Brian and Julie alone, but I couldn’t. Julie had ignited a fire within me; somehow it needed to be extinguished. Only Julie had the capability to put out that fire. We were all trying to obtain the same thing: happiness. Happiness for some of us would be a smooth, downhill road. For others, like myself, there would be many bumps and bruises. I had endured my share of bumps and bruises; now I was ready for my reward. Julie was going to be mine.

I
woke up at 5:00 a.m. with a brilliant plan to get out of my hell. At first, I thought by having millions of dollars, I would be able to fight my father-in-law. I would fight him in court, or on the streets; it didn’t matter. Money could buy justice or muscle. It was the American way. But my thinking was wrong. My father-in-law would have eaten me alive because my money would be new and new money always attracted attention. The way I was about to obtain the money would make attention a noose around my neck. The more attention I received; the tighter the noose. It wouldn’t be long before someone would be dragging my body out of the inlet by Paerdegat Squadron Yacht Club.

I called Malcolm after I dropped Emerald off at school. He seemed elated that I had come to my senses. I asked him to meet me by the running track at Seaview Park within the hour. That would be the first of two meetings. As I drove, I thought about my life and the direction in which it was headed. Was I shaping my destiny or was my destiny shaping me?

I was no longer lost within the comfortable confines of a woman’s vagina. I had ventured out as we all do in our lives. I was learning to survive as I went along, with ordinary people like myself being the teachers. There I was about to pull off one of the biggest heists in New York and planning my departure with blood on my hands. Over the past few weeks I had become much stronger. Whether it was a good or bad thing, only time would tell.

I parked my car on Seaview Avenue and walked into the park with my sweats on. The neighborhood had undergone drastic changes since the early nineties, like most of the neighborhoods in Brooklyn. With the infusion of the West Indian homeowners, the Whites had scattered. People have said that if you wanted to find a misplaced stone on a street, ask a West Indian because they are the nosiest fucking people around. Whenever I would kid around with Rashaun about that, he would always laugh. “We’re good for terrorism,” he would tell me.

As expected, Malcolm was already in the park when I arrived. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself, so he had on blue and white sweats. In the five years I had known Malcolm, this was only the second time I had seen him without a business suit on. I was positive he had his licensed gun on him, even though, according to him, I posed no physical threat.

“I always knew that you were a smart boy,” Malcolm said as I approached.

I walked up to him and looked him directly in the eyes. “You won.”

He stepped back a bit before he spoke. “What do you want?”

I looked away from him. “I’ve thought about it and I’m not the best thing for my son. He’d be much better off if he belonged to you. I have nothing to give him. My lifestyle isn’t conducive to being a father. Women are my comfort and I need a lot of them. One day I’m certain a woman will be the main reason for my demise.” I spoke, not certain that Malcolm even cared about my issues, but I continued anyway. “To pursue my passion, I need money; lots of money. I only ask two things of you.”

“What two things?” he asked.

“I want three million dollars and I want Annette out of the house.”

I watched his reaction.

He looked away from me, toward the soccer field. “I expected the money but Annette’s removal will be difficult.”

I wasn’t taking “no” for an answer. “Make it happen.”

“I’ve never forgiven my daughter for becoming a lesbian; whether it’s nature calling or by her own design. I’m sure she told you about the horrors of growing up, once I found out. I make no apologies for my actions and, if I had to do it again, I’d do the same. My daughter was my lifeline and when it was being taken away from me, I had to fight.” He spoke in a hushed tone, as if afraid that the grass would somehow record his conversation. “Think of Emerald, your only son, coming home with a man.”

“I’d rather not,” I said.

“Then you understand.”

“I’m not here to take your confession,” I said. It was my way of dealing with my son’s future; a future I had no control over. “I don’t care what you have to do, but get her out.”

“My daughter might do that by herself because Annette is totally against her having another child for you.”

I laughed a cold dry laugh. “Malcolm, your daughter’s being fed through a straw by Annette. Your daughter can’t even raise her voice when Annette’s around. And when she finds out that Lauren’s pregnant again, who knows what she might do.”

“I don’t talk to my daughter, but I do understand the effect Annette has on her. I might have to kill her.”

I smiled. Now he was talking my language. A thorn that I thought would always be in my side was being removed. I was certain that I would have killed the bitch myself, but it would be better if Malcolm did it. So many things had changed since I had killed my father. I now felt empowered to do whatever I had to do to take care of my problems. Taking a life no longer meant anything to me.

“I believe you can do it much easier than I. I don’t think Emerald would be happy with his father in jail.”

“You’ve pushed me ahead of schedule,” Malcolm said. “But I’ve seen my daughter with cuts and bruises and I know they didn’t come from you. I agree with you. That isn’t a good environment for Emerald.”

“Have Dora call your daughter tomorrow and, in seven days, I want my money. I’ll give you two weeks to take care of Annette. I’ll bring the papers giving you legal guardianship and the right to change Emerald’s last name. In return I want you to bring me the three million.”

“It seems like you’ve really thought this thing through,” Malcolm said. “What happens if I don’t bring the money?”

I confronted him with my eyes. “Then one day you’ll have to hire detectives to find Emerald.”

“You realize what will happen when I find you.”

“
If
you find me. I read recently that they found a child who went missing twenty-five years ago. Are you willing to take that chance? If you are, then we have nothing more to discuss.” I turned to walk away.

“Okay, you have a deal.”

I swung back around to see him extending his hand to me. “Three million dollars.”

“Yes.”

Malcolm grasped my hand tightly to see if I would flinch. The time for flinching was over. He held my hand for about a minute, extracting the life blood from it. When he finally let go, I slipped my hand into my pocket; my face expressionless. As I turned to walk away, I knew that the next time Malcolm and I met on those grounds, one of us would not be walking away.

I drove over to Julie’s house under the pretense that we would be discussing the robbery. In actuality, I wanted to talk about us. She had told me that Brian wasn’t coming over so we could talk. I didn’t want to talk; I wanted to take her in my arms and make earth-shattering love with her.

She opened the door wearing fitted jeans and a tight, red shirt with the word “Blackfunk” screen printed in black on the front. “What’s up?” she asked, leaving the door open for me to come in.

“I need directions.” I walked in and closed the door.

“Where you going?”

Damn, this will make me sound like a child.
“To your heart.”

“Donald, don’t start this.” She sounded like I had drained the very life out of her.

I went up behind her. “Don’t start what?”

I could hear her heavy breathing as her body fought the temptation to turn around.

“I knew that you would start this. Donald, you don’t want me. I’ve known you for all these years and you’ve never approached me. Now that I’m in a relationship with your friend, you’re bringing this on me.” She sat down on the couch.

I remained standing. “Julie, I’ll walk away right now if you tell me that you want us to just be friends. I don’t know when it happened but, somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you. I touched you and my blood ran ten miles a minute. Can you honestly tell me that our relationship hasn’t changed?”

Julie remained silent for what seemed like an eternity. “Donald, you’re so damn selfish. How long have I waited to hear you say those words to me? I’ve seen you through both the sunshine and the rain. I’ve held my feelings for you under my skin for so long; just waiting. It pained me when you walked down the aisle in this loveless marriage. If you had looked, you would’ve seen the tears in my eyes, but you were too wrapped up in the glitter.”

I was astounded. I knew that Julie liked me but I didn’t know the extent of her feelings. Now it was my turn to feel ashamed and stupid. “Julie, I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t know, because you could only see Donald.” Julie was crying.

I sat down on the couch and gently eased her into my arms. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Julie got up from my chest and turned around to look me directly in the eyes. “You’ve dated so many beautiful women—doctors, lawyers and models. Donald, how could I compete with those women?”

I kissed her softly on the cheek. “Julie, you don’t have to compete with those women. They meant absolutely nothing to me. I’ve always cared for you but I’ve always run away from you. You know the life I live. I didn’t want you to be destroyed with me. I loved you so much that I didn’t want you to get hurt. You have so much to give a man.”

Julie rose from the chair and walked away to lean on her bedroom door. “Brian is a good guy.”

I remained seated. “I agree; Brian is a good guy.”

“I have no doubt that he’ll stay with me and be faithful. Brian isn’t trying to fuck the world like you.” Her voice was stern and penetrating. “To follow my heart and be with you would only lead to failure.”

“Do you not want to follow your heart?”

I got up from the couch and walked to her. She took a few steps back into the bedroom. I had seen Julie’s bedroom a thousand times but that day it felt like I was seeing it for the first time.

“Donald, there’s a big difference between following your heart into eternity, as opposed to following your heart into destruction.” She sat down on the bed.

“Julie, I came here to get the directions to your heart. Today, you tell me that I’m already there. You know that I would be lying if I told you that the road I have chosen will be an easy one. Actually, I know it’s going to be an extremely difficult one. I’ll have to do things that might break me or push me forward. I offer no guarantees and that’s the God’s honest truth. But today, I’ll also tell you another God’s honest truth. I love you. In a few days, all hell will break loose and my life will either come to an end or I’ll move on with the journey.”

I sat down next to her on the bed and took her face in my hands. I pulled her toward me and bent her head ever so slightly as I laid a kiss on her forehead. “It’s your decision.”

“Donald.” She slipped her hand in mine as I got up to leave.

“All I’m asking is that you think about it.” I bent to kiss her hand ever so gently. “Tomorrow, I have a terrible job to do.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I began to make my way toward the door. “Maybe one day.”

Julie followed me. “Be careful.”

“I will.”

As I walked away from the doorway, I turned around to look at her once more. I saw a reflection of myself in her eyes, the reflection of a troubled soul moving toward salvation or an end. It seemed like I had been going back on my word lately and tomorrow wouldn’t be any different. Tomorrow, I was going to fuck my wife, something I said I would never do.