Ted DiBiase (23 page)

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Authors: Ted DiBiase,Jim J.R. Ross,Terry Funk

BOOK: Ted DiBiase
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ARN ANDERSON:

One of the best ribs Teddy ever pulled on me was the “Ear in the Glass” rib. It was so famous that Bret Hart alluded to it in his 2006 WWE Hall of Fame speech. After a show in Salt Lake City, we had a little party at the bar in the Marriott hotel. I was leaving World Wrestling Federation, so it was sort of a going-away party. We were drinking and having a good time. Teddy was there with Tully Blanchard, Bret Hart, Terry Taylor, and a bunch of the guys. One of Teddy's fraternity buddies from college, Mad Dog, was also there. He was the equipment manager for the West Texas football team. He also had a prosthetic ear. I guess when I left to use the bathroom, Teddy took the guy's ear off and put it in the bottom of my sea-breeze drink. Without me looking, Teddy led a toast wishing me success, calling a salute, and everybody drank. As I drank, something hit the top of my teeth. I looked in the glass and there was a man's ear. I couldn't believe it. I started spewing and puking from the bar all the way to the front door. They all had a good laugh, and I have to admit, it was infamous in the annals of ribs for achieving its desired effect!

I started off 1989 wrestling in the thirty-man
Royal Rumble
held in Houston. At the live Pay-Per-View, I drew number twenty-two. I didn't like the number. Using my status and wealth, I consulted the manager of the Big Boss Man and Akeem, the Slickster. I made him an offer that he couldn't refuse and swapped picks to attain position number thirty. Unfortunately, I was eliminated by Big John Studd. For the next four years, I had a horrible streak of losses at the
Royal Rumble
.

The
Royal Rumble 1990
was held in Orlando. I knew I was going to be part of the event and didn't think that I would wrestle more than five or ten minutes. So I went out with the boys, partying at Church Street Station and other area bars. I definitely had drunk more than I should have. I arrived at the arena and felt very light-headed. I thought to myself, “Thank goodness I'm wrestling in the
Rumble
. There is no way I could wrestle for more than fifteen minutes.” Pat Patterson came up to me and said, “Ted, don't eat too much today. You are going to be in the
Rumble
a long time.” I smiled and thought he was teasing me. Pat quickly added, “No, no, Ted. I am serious. You are going to be in there for nearly an hour.”

PAT PATTERSON:

I created the
Royal Rumble.
Years ago, somewhere in the business somebody came up with the idea of the regular battle royal. I always wanted to come up with an idea for the business. The
Royal Rumble
involved thirty guys, beginning with two men in the ring, and every ninety seconds or two minutes someone else would enter. The guys loved working the event.

At first, Vince didn't fully believe in it. He thought an hour would be too long. The first
Royal Rumble
was held in Hamilton, Ontario, as a special on the USA Network. The results were huge ratings. Television-wise, it was a very successful night. It is now an annual Pay-Per-View event held every January.

Since I purchased the final spot at the previous year's
Royal Rumble
, the creative team decided to have some fun with the Million Dollar Man. With a national audience watching, I was stunned when I drew the first spot in the
Rumble
. The interviewer said, “It looks like the Million Dollar Man's money didn't work for him this year. He is number one!” I went out and wrestled for a record forty-four minutes and forty-seven seconds until I was eliminated by the Ultimate Warrior. After the match, I was completely exhausted.

At first, I had no problem with the Ultimate Warrior. He had a great
body, but his wrestling skills were limited. Vince McMahon wanted to market his look. As a person who grew up in the industry and respected it, I just believed that the Ultimate Warrior didn't appreciate the opportunity. He was even made the champion. I didn't believe that he gave his all to the company.

The Ultimate Warrior wasn't a good technical wrestler and he lacked charisma. There have been many guys in the business who weren't good workers, such as JYD, but he had charisma and, more important, he respected the profession. Vince helped the Warrior get over by putting him in the ring with guys who could make him look good: me, Jake Roberts, and Hulk Hogan. All of his matches with Hogan were a credit to Hogan's wrestling. But the Ultimate Warrior never became a student of the business and never appreciated anybody who tried to help him, including me.

Very rarely did I leave the ring angry. When I wrestled the Warrior one time in Japan, I left the ring mad. Right after he became champion, World Wrestling Federation went on a tour of Japan. Vince put me in a match with the Warrior in the sold-out Egg Dome to make him look good. I had no problem doing that, but I did get upset by the way it turned out.

Having wrestled in Japan, I was familiar with the style. I let the Warrior know that our match should be more serious and less animated than in the States. For the first ten minutes of the match, I made him look like a wrestling god. I bumped all over the ring and absorbed all of his power spots. When my turn came to make a comeback, the referee told me that time had been cut and the match had to end. In front of a capacity crowd, I got squashed by the Warrior. I never asked or found out why, but I was clearly mad.

One example of his self-centeredness was when I was invited to do an autograph session in New York a few years ago. There were other wrestlers that attended, including the Ultimate Warrior. All the wrestlers were together in a room and we signed autographs and sold our gimmicks. A few fans asked about the Warrior and wondered where he was. I didn't pay attention but noticed he wasn't in the room. I was told, “The Warrior said he didn't want to be in the same room with the other wrestlers signing autographs. He wanted his own room, space, and table.” His pompous attitude was typical.

If the Warrior had been more personable, and appreciated what the boys tried to do to help him, I would have had no problem with him. But he
didn't. If it wasn't for everyone else who worked their tails for him, he would have never made it in World Wrestling Federation.

The
Royal Rumble 1992
in Albany, New York, was one of my easiest paydays ever, but the end result made all the fans in attendance and watching on Pay-Per-View very happy. Based on my history in the
Rumble
, the creative team decided to do something different with my character. The British Bulldog drew the first spot and I got the second. Before the commentators could even share our stats with the viewers, I was eliminated in slightly more than one minute. The loss would soon spearhead me into tag team wrestling.

Since I couldn't win or buy the World Wrestling Federation title, the storyline then had me purchasing my own championship title. I unveiled the Million Dollar Belt in 1989. It was designed and made by Terry Betteridge of Betteridge Jewelers in Greenwich, Connecticut. He is a world-renowned gemologist. The fans were told that it was made of real gold and laced with

hundreds of real diamonds in the shape of three large dollar signs. It wasn't. The belt was gold-plated and all of the stones were cubic zirconia. But on the back of the belt, there were three tiny authentic diamonds. I asked Vince, “Why are those three diamonds back there?”

“They are real diamonds.”

“Why are they back there? Nobody is ever going to see them.”

“Well, Ted, we just want to keep you honest. When anybody asks you if the diamonds in the belt are real and you say yes, well, you aren't lying.”

According to the documents that I carried for the belt whenever I went through customs, its estimated value was about forty thousand dollars. In all of my years that I carried the belt, I was never asked to show papers. Though I have a replica of the belt, the actual one is locked in a safe. It should be noted that the belt was never an official title and thus wasn't ever sanctioned by World Wrestling Federation.

TERRY TAYLOR:

In an effort to be part of World Wrestling Federation, I used to call Pat Patterson every Friday at noon for nine months straight. I had a new son and I needed to work. I also really wanted to be in World Wrestling Federation. When Teddy got hired as the Million Dollar Man, I called him and asked if he could help me out. I told Teddy I had been trying to get in for some nine months. Sometimes Pat would answer, but most of the time I got an answering machine. Teddy understood and said he would go to bat for me and talk to Pat. And he did.

Soon thereafter, I called Pat one Friday at noon for like the fortieth time. This time Pat answered and said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you are just looking for an opportunity.”

“You don't even know who this is.”

“Yes, I do. You have been calling here every Friday at noon for almost a year. If you promise to never call again, I'll give you a chance to come to TV on Monday.” Thanks, Teddy!

I also want to say that I am lucky Teddy was around because
he has the largest head in the business. I can't believe the size of that melon. If it wasn't for him, I probably would have that honor. Thanks again, Teddy!

There is an old saying in wrestling, “There are big stars and there are good hands. And the good hands never make any money, because they are making the big stars into big stars.” I think Teddy is one of the first guys to ever be a good hand that became a big star. Because he could get a great match out of anybody—he was big, athletic, and could talk as good as anybody on the microphone. Teddy meant a whole lot to the business and gave a whole lot back. Not many people can say that.

In mid-1989, I started an angle with Jake Roberts. It initially started when Jake and Andre got into a program. Andre had interfered in one of Jake's matches. As Andre was beating Jake down, Jake sought help from his snake, Damien. Jake let his snake out of the bag and Andre hightailed it out of the ring. It was obvious that Andre was scared of snakes. I voiced my opinion about Jake and the next thing I knew, Jake started using Damien to scare Virgil and me. After a match at a television taping of
Superstars of Wrestling
Jake pinned Virgil. When his back was turned, I jumped him from behind and administered a series of piledrivers. I had broken his neck, putting him out of commission for a few months. He actually had already needed surgery on his neck, so the angle gave him an opportunity to take some time off.

We re-ignited our program in March of 1990. Jake returned to wreak havoc on me and Virgil. He even stole my Million Dollar Belt. We finally ended the program at
WrestleMania VI
. The event was held in Toronto, Canada. A new attendance record was set when 67,678 people packed in the SkyDome. After roughly twelve minutes, I defeated Jake by a countout to regain the Million Dollar Belt.

My contest at
WrestleMania VI
was probably one of my most enjoyable matches, simply because it was a really good match and it was very easy to work with Jake. We didn't have to talk that much in the ring or plan things in advance. It just came together. Jake had great ring psychology. In my estimation,
if Jake would have kept himself clean, I believe that he would right now be in Stamford working for Vince McMahon on the creative team.

In the summer of 1990, I started a program with the “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Back then, he was dressed in yellow polka dots and called the Common Man. Vince completely changed him from the character that made him a Superstar in the NWA. They put him in this awkward outfit and assigned him a heavyset African-American manager, Sapphire. I think the change was a test by Vince to see if Dusty could be a team player. Dusty was great to work with in the ring and we had some very good matches together.

Anyway, we feuded for about six months, which started with me buying Sapphire's services at
SummerSlam
and ended when Virgil and I beat Dusty and his son Dustin. I pinned Dusty with a roll-up. After the match, I demanded that Virgil wrap the Million Dollar Belt around my waist. Virgil picked it up, but instead of putting it around my waist, he hit me with the belt right upside my head. Immediately, I started an angle with Virgil and he instantly became a babyface.

TERRY FUNK:

The Dusty Rhodes–Ted DiBiase feud didn't work out because Vince gave Dusty a horseshit, polka-dot gimmick that nobody could get over with.

Virgil wasn't the best worker in the business. When we started our program, I had to be at my best. For us to have a match at
WrestleMania VII
in 1991 and work at the highest level was truly a testament to Virgil's desire to listen and let me lead. He was very coachable and ended up wrestling a lot of good matches. The match's success had a lot to do with the presence of Roddy Piper. In the end, even though my new valet, Sensational Sherri, was in my corner, I lost to Virgil. I was counted out after attacking Roddy Piper outside the ring. The story line crowned Virgil as the new Million Dollar Champion.

VIRGIL:

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