Tempest Tossed: A Love Unexpected Novel (17 page)

Chapter 30—Dylan

The first thing I did when I got back on board was visit Lady Delaney. The poor little thing was a pitiful, quivering mass of excitement when she saw it was me who opened her door. She laid a monkey guilt trip on me big time. The tiny hands examined my head and my face as if to say “I haven’t seen you in so long I have to learn you all over again.”

“Poor Lady D. I missed you a lot, too. Are you okay, sweetie? Have they been taking good care of you?” I stroked her softly and cooed baby talk at her.

Rene chuckled from the door. “Lady D. is worthy of an Academy Award if she can convince you she’s been neglected.” At that, the monkey completely abandoned her act with me and ran over to climb on Rene’s shoulder. “Yes, and I was gone all night, too. Are you trying to lay the guilt on me, too, you shameless beast? I know what you want.” Rene reached into her pocket and pulled out the beloved gummi bears that Lady D. lived for.

“I hope you haven’t been overdoing the sweets. She can be very persuasive.”

“I’ve kept in under control, but I can’t vouch for ‘Uncle Stephen’. This monkey has that man wrapped around her little finger. He felt so badly for her when you were delirious that he actually slept in her room one night.”

“Did she react badly to the accident and all?”

“She really did. We were worried about her. She wouldn’t eat anything except a few bites of fruit and a vanilla wafer here and there. We couldn’t get her to eat the monkey chow at all. We were afraid she was going to make herself sick.”

“She doesn’t look any the worse for it.”

“That’s because Stephen and I figured out that it was far more destructive to keep her away from you than to let her see what was going on. She thought you had vanished, I guess.” Rene walked across Lady D.’s spotless room and placed her back on my shoulder. “Once we brought her to sit with you and sort of participate, she got a lot better. I know it isn’t standard operating procedure for a sick room but it seemed right at the time.”

“It was the right thing to do. I would have never forgiven myself if she had . . . well, if I caused her any harm.”

She leaned down to kiss me and as her lips brushed mine, Lady D. began to chatter and bob up and down close to our faces. When we broke apart laughing, the capuchin gave us one of her signature monkey grins and chirped a little monkey chuckle.

“Obviously, you caused her no harm. She’s as devoted to you as ever. I’m going to see about getting the galley back to some semblance of a routine. You two bond for a while.”

It was all too easy to forget that Rene had an actual job to do on El Loco. I was becoming more and more comfortable with her just being to be my companion. I almost resented the fact that her work on the boat was taking her away from me.

Time to think was useful, though. I needed to clear my head and figure out what I was going to say to my father. More importantly, I had to sort through what I was going to tell Rene about my whole screwed up life, my lunatic of a mother, the sister I used to love and my father, the only successful survivor of it all. He was alive and he was rich. Dawn was dead, Mother was as good as dead and I didn’t have much if it wasn’t doled out by Dad. So, of the four of us, I guess I had to consider him the winner.

There didn’t seem to be a lot of choices when it came to telling my story. Any way I tried to paint the picture I came out the poster boy for dysfunctional families. I hoped that Rene had a high tolerance for the bizarre. She was about to hear a story even I found hard to believe. And I had lived it.

I owed her my story. The truth wasn’t too much to ask from someone who . . . what? I had to ask myself. What was it I wanted from Rene? The best I could come up with at the moment was that I wanted her to simply try. Since I had nothing in my experience to compare her to, all I wanted was for her to be able to digest my tale and not run screaming from the room.

Yep, that’s what I wanted. I wanted her to take it in and move beyond it hopefully in a forward direction.  It seemed simple enough. Simple enough to break a sweat on my palms and make my throat go dry. I guessed that’s what happens to a man when he’s got a lot to lose. For the first time in my life, the stakes seemed impossibly high.

As for my father, I had absolutely nothing to lose. I hoped for nothing and had zero expectations. If I was pleasantly surprised and could make him see the logic and the value in my proposal it would be a gift. I wasn’t too concerned about losing El Loco. My father had proved over and over again that he preferred the status quo to any kind of confrontation. My mother used that to her superb advantage when we were kids. No matter what horror Dad
thought
he saw, it was so much easier to believe the story of a long-suffering wife and two sickly children.

“C’mon, monkey-girl, let’s hobble around the boat for a few.” Lady D. looked at my crutches suspiciously. “They do the job,” I assured her.

Even though I had made up the excuse about not being able to get around the boat as a ruse to avoid my father, I found out quickly that I hadn’t been far from the truth. Stairs were brutal. There are a bunch of steps on a multi-level mega yacht and by the time I made it to the dining room I was exhausted. I lowered myself into my usual spot hoping that Rene would see me and bring something to eat. We had high-tailed it out of the hotel without eating anything and I was starving.

She soon came through the swinging doors with a big smoothie in her hand. “I knew you’d be famished. Here’s your first course. Bananas, Greek yogurt, some organic peanut butter, a couple spoons of coconut oil and an egg white for extra protein.” I raised my eyebrow at the mention of the egg white. Raw eggs make me nervous.

“Don’t be a baby. It was either the egg white or some hideous body builder’s powder made from God-knows-what-all. Wouldn’t you rather have something pronounceable instead of chemicals you’ve never heard of?”

“You have a point. Thank you for being so thoughtful.” She looked at me as if she wanted to see if I was being sincere or sarcastic.

“You’re welcome, Dylan. I really do want you to heal quickly, you know.”

“Only so you can abuse me to the limits of a man’s endurance.”

“You’re absolutely correct. If I want to have my way with you, I need you whole.”

“Nothing’s missing, just damaged.”

“Drink your shake while I get the rest of your breakfast.”

“Aren’t you going to join me? I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I do, but I am
so
far in the weeds right now. I neglected everything and there’s almost nothing to fresh to eat on this boat. I think everyone would really appreciate a decent meal that I didn’t throw together in ten minutes or less. I just have to put a couple of orders in. Actually, first I have to find out where to order from.”

“Okay, you seem very distracted right now and I
would
like your undivided attention.”

“And I want you to have it. Right after lunch.”

I ate my delicious breakfast alone and felt guilty at how much relief I felt at getting a reprieve. I didn’t have to strip my soul to the bone for several more hours. I wanted to tell her but I dreaded the tale. And part of me felt guilty for having doubts about how she would take it all.

I found Stephen in the control room. He was sitting in the Captain’s chair just staring at the dark instrument panel. Although he certainly heard the doors open when I came in, he didn’t turn around.

“Captain?” I ventured.

“Not any more. Daddy dear fired me yesterday.”

“I’m happy to see you had the sense not to take him too seriously.”

“Oh, I take him very seriously. I just don’t know quite what to do next.”

“There’s nothing for you to do. Just sit tight until I’ve had my head to head with him.”

“I take it he found you. Otherwise you’d still be hiding out at Hill’s Hotel.”

“Yep. He knocked on my door a little after seven this morning.”

“Gotta love a guy with that kind of class. I know I always enjoy unannounced visitors at daybreak.”

“He tried to pretend he was ‘concerned’. All he managed to do was sound pissed off.”

“Yes, he was mighty pissed at being kept from your bedside. He pulled the concerned act with me too. I’m sorry, Dylan, but your father is a complete donkey turd.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, too.” I cleared my throat and looked my friend in the eyes. “Stephen, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Boss. Ask me anything.”

“I’m not asking as a boss. I’m asking as a friend. I need an honest bit of advice.”

Stephen laughed. “Me giving you advice? Now that’s rich.”

“Please.”

“I’ll give it my best shot. Promise.” His tone was more serious now. I think he realized that something was weighing heavily on me.

“You know I have some pretty weird stuff in my past.”

“With that sorry excuse you’ve got for a dad? I would guess ‘weird stuff’ is a bit of an understatement.”

“I’ve never told anyone, not even you, what happened to me and my sister when we were growing up.”

“I’ve sorta wanted to ask but . . . well, you know.”

“I wouldn’t have told you. No offense, but it wasn’t something you needed to know.” I took a deep breath. “But now, there’s someone who probably does need to know.”

“Rene.”

“Yeah. I just think that it’s important for her to get the whole picture. I mean, if we’re really going to . . . if we’re going to have something real.”

“And that’s what you want with her? Something real?”

“I think it’s already real, at least for me. And, yeah, that’s what I want. It’s something I’ve never even considered before.”

“Well, congratulations my man. In the years we’ve known one another this is a first. Dylan Cruz in
love.
”

“C’mon, man. I didn’t say that. Give me a break.”

“Okay, okay. So, I get it. She’s important to you and you want to tell her your twisted tale of a broken childhood so she’ll what? Understand you better? Feel sorry for you?”

“Good God, no! The last thing I want from her is pity.”

“Cut to the chase, dude. What’s the issue here?”

“I’m just wondering if I’ll scare her away. I don’t think I could ever be really close with a woman unless she knew all about me, warts and all. Because, even though I
am
past it, there are still times when it affects me. You’ve seen it. You’ve seen when the monster shows his teeth.”

“Yep, you have an ugly side.”

“But you didn’t press me about it.”

“Because I’m your buddy, not your lover. Big difference. You got something to say, you’ll say it. You don’t want to, that’s all cool. Stating the obvious, women are different.”

“If you were a chick, could a guy chase you off with tales of a bizarre past?”

“Don’t ask me to think like a girl, Dylan. Impossible. I do know that when a girl is into you and gets a whiff of some ‘complexity’ some ‘deep emotional’ thing, she’ll chase it like a ‘cuda after a sardine.”

“She’s been pretty good about not pressuring me so far.”

“She hasn’t had much of a chance, considering. And let me tell you something else. If you’d seen you for the past week or so, you’d have some questions, too. Man, you said and did some bizarre things. You thought Rene was your nurse. You fought everything she and I tried to do to help you like we were trying to kill you. You acted like a ten-year-old. Matter-of-fact, you can put me on that list of people who need to hear the story.”

“So I should tell her.”

“You ain’t got a choice.”

“If she bolts?”

“Do you trust her?”

“As much as I’ve ever trusted anyone. But truthfully, that’s not saying a lot.”

“Then give her the chance. Go for it. Otherwise you’re likely to spend the rest of your life wondering.”

“I’m already wondering about the rest of my life.” I looked at Stephen and had a sudden flash of how much the guy meant to me. “You’re a good friend, man. I appreciate the ear.”

“Dylan? Can I give you the best piece of advice I know of?”

“Sure.”

“You’ve heard before in one form or another. Just this: yesterday is gone and nothing will change it or bring it back. Tomorrow may never come. That big blue fish lady that sliced your leg open should drive that point right home. Today is the only reality. Today. Don’t waste today.”

Tempest Tossed

(A Love Unexpected Novel)

Part 2 of 2

By Alissa Adams

Chapter 1—Rene

I fumbled my way through a bewildering abundance of choices for food suppliers serving London. In the end I just chose the one whose website seemed the most user-friendly. I was kind of flying blind. I didn’t have a clue as to how long we were going to stay or where we were going next. Because I knew it was the detestable Jackson Cruz who paid the bills, I didn’t care if I over-ordered or paid more than I should for the products.

Angelo could handle the deliveries when they arrived. The next order of business was to feed the crew a decent lunch. I was exhausted emotionally and physically so I took the easy way out and ordered in. It was a nice, expensive lunch for the boys.

It was good to be able to shower in my own bathroom. I’m squeamish about hotel bathrooms, even seemingly clean ones. I’ve seen those articles that ‘expose the truth’ about housekeeping shortcuts. 

I hadn’t checked in with Hannah for almost two days. Things had just moved too fast. She was still sound asleep in her Ft. Lauderdale bed, so I tapped out an email. I really did miss my roomie. The crew members were a really nice, easy going bunch and Stephen had been as supportive a friend as I could ask for during the ordeal following Dylan’s accident. Other than the attempt to belatedly open my eyes to the emotional risk I was taking by getting involved with a man like ‘the Boss’ he’d been cool. Once he’d figured out that the territory of me had been thoroughly sprayed by his tom cat boss, he backed off the flirtation, too. I didn’t need it. I had my hands full.

But there’s nothing like your best friend. Just nothing. I was sure that Hannah and I would be friends forever. Someday we’d be in rocking chairs on some old porch somewhere reminiscing about our days in South Florida.

Hannah is everything I’m not and it makes us a perfect complement to each other. I guess the thing I love most about her is her ability to put things in perspective. It isn’t that she’s indifferent, but rather that she doesn’t take life as seriously as I do. We’re almost the same age, but she seems so much more grown up than I feel. I guess I relied on her a lot the many times I felt my life was spinning out of my control.

Now I felt that way again and I wanted more than chats and emails. I wanted to sit down with her on our well-worn couch, kill a bottle of wine and see her pretty face listening to me in the way only she can. Hannah was the sister I never had and I just adored the hell out of her. I could picture the curls around her face bouncing up and down when she talked. Hannah was the kind of girl who spoke with her entire body. Everyone loved listening to her.

Thinking about sisters made me remember I wanted to look up Dawn Cruz again. Dylan had mentioned that she was ‘gone’ several times but he’d never actually said she was dead. I assumed she was, but I didn’t recall seeing anything to that effect on line. But I hadn’t done a very thorough search, either.

I typed her name in the search box. Basically the same information as before. She was born two years before I was. That’s all. No photos, no school mentions, no death record. It was as if she was born and simply didn’t do anything at all after that. Surely if she had died there would be some record. Unless she died overseas. Or she died and the death was covered up—not reported. My imagination was getting the best of me.

Lunch came and went. It was finally time to sit down with my mystery man and hear the story that was going to make everything make sense. Or not.

I tapped on Dylan’s door and he called me in. Lady D. was curled against him, her sleepy half-lidded acknowledgement of me told me she’d been napping hard.

Dylan was laying on his bed with his bad leg elevated on a couple of the copious pillows that seemed to be everywhere on the boat. He was shirtless and I wanted to lay my head on his broad chest and listen to his heartbeat. I wanted to tell him everything would be okay no matter what. Unfortunately, that would be a lie. I didn’t know if it was going to be okay. I didn’t know if
I
was going to be okay.

“So, I finally found a use for all these pillows. Until now, all they were good for was throwing off the bed and taking up space in the corner.”

“How’re you feeling?”

“Better than expected. Even though this bucket may be gone tomorrow, it’s the only home I have. Just being here and being on the water makes me feel stronger.”

I walked over and looked out one of the stateroom windows. Even though it was a sunny day, the water was brown and dingy. “Water in name only. It’s a sad sight out there.”

“Not the Bahamas or the Canaries, that’s for sure.” He gestured toward an armchair in the corner. “Slide that chair over here and have a seat. I’d much rather have you beside me in the bed, but that would lead to more than talking.”

Oh, God, yes it would, Dylan. Let’s skip the dangerous storytelling and talk with our bodies.
I pulled the chair close to the side of the bed and sat. And waited.

Finally, he took a deep breath and began.

“Have you ever heard of something called ‘Münchausen syndrome by proxy’?” I shook my head. “The more official name for it is ‘factitious disorder by proxy’.”

“Sorry, never heard of either.”

“It’s a rare mental illness that results in a parent or caregiver making up illnesses for a child. It occurs almost exclusively in females—mothers mostly—and it’s a kind of child abuse that’s notoriously hard to detect. My mother, the beautiful and irreparably mad Francesca Cruz, had a mean case of it. My sister Dawn and I were her victims.”

“Oh, Dylan, no.” I reached for his hand but he moved it away.

“No, don’t touch me right now. I’ll never get this out if I feel the heat of you against me. Even your hand makes me want to throw a blanket over this story and . . . “

I put my hands in my lap. “Go on. I think you need to get this out.”

“I do. I’ve never told anyone except the shrinks what happened to me. Never. I don’t think even my father knows the whole horrible tale. When you grow up like I did the last thing you want is more pity. And I don’t want that from you, either. I’m begging you. No matter how sorry you feel for me—don’t. I’ll wind up hating you for it.”

“Okay. I can’t promise I won’t feel it, but I’ll try my best not to show it.” I already felt horrified imagining the rest of the story.

“When I was very little, I couldn’t put a name to what was happening to me. And when you’re just a tiny kid, you don’t know any different. I didn’t know all kids don’t go to the doctor all the time. I didn’t question when my mother told me I was sick. It’s hard to explain, but when you’re four or five years old, if your mom tells you something, you believe her, right?”

“Sure. A mother is a little kid’s world.”

“I was three when Dawn was born. I hate to admit it, but it was a relief that she was just as sick as I was. It made me feel more normal. We’d both get all kinds of illnesses. Mostly stomach related. Looking back, I realize that our mother habitually poisoned us.”

“No! How could anyone poison their own children?” I felt my stomach lurch at the thought of someone so cruel. A mother. It was almost too hard to listen to.

“She was insane, Rene. Insanity can do just about anything.” He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples. “It got to the point where we had ‘round the clock nursing care. I guess that started around the time I should have gone to school. But, of course, I couldn’t go to school because I was too sick. The doctors couldn’t come up with a diagnosis. We had every test in the book.”

“There were some awful nurses,” Dylan went on slowly. “I think my mother specifically recruited the sadistic ones. Except for Nurse Kelly.”

I smiled. “The one you kept calling me while you were so ill.”

“She was literally an angel. I think I was around nine when she started working for us. I believe she knew there was something terribly wrong from the beginning. She tried so hard to make our days just a little bit closer to normal. She was always sneaking us outside when my mother went out. Mother did not like us to play outside.”

“Couldn’t she report the abuse? Couldn’t she do something? Didn’t you tell her what was going on?” I found it hard to believe that any professional could fail to act in a circumstance like that.

“I came very close to telling her that I thought our mother was nutso. But, you have no idea how real it was. Plus, monster though she was, she was my mother. She lavished attention on us when we were ill. The sicker we were, the more she ‘loved’ us. Can you understand how a kid would have a problem accusing his mom of such atrocious abuse?”

“Yes, I suppose I can sort of imagine it. But it isn’t easy. My parents were demanding but I never doubted their love for me.”

“Anyway, mother fired Nurse Kelly when I was eleven. My heart broke into a million pieces.” He stopped then and turned his face away. I knew he was trying to hold it together. It was all I could do not to wrap him in a comforting embrace. “I loved Kelly more than anyone I ever knew because it was a real love. It was a healthy little guy crush on a beautiful, tender woman who cared about him. Just like thousands of pre-pubescent boys every day. I fantasized about her, imagining that she would carry me away, kissing me with her sweet mouth and letting me play in her soft hair. It was the color of maple syrup, just like yours.” He stopped for a moment and I stayed silent letting him bring Kelly to life in his mind.

“She never got to say good-bye. One day she was just gone. I knew why, but of course the words were never spoken. Mother fired her because we loved Kelly and Kelly loved us. There was no room for healthy love in my mother’s world. Two years later, my mom and Dawn disappeared and I started the long and excruciating process of trying to become a normal person.”

“What do you mean they disappeared?”

“Well, no one told me at the time but I learned later that my mother was committed to an institution for the criminally insane. I never found out what happened to Dawn. I’ve always assumed that our mother killed her only daughter.”

“You can’t just kill a child without some record of it . . . some trial or something!”

“You can if you have Jackson Cruz’s money and power. He could make you, me and the El Loco disappear tomorrow. Trust me. I know. My father is just as much of a monster as his wife was. He’s just more subtle.”