Temptation (48 page)

“What do you mean?” Do I dare believe him?

“I told my mother to drop it. She wasn’t happy about it, but I finally stood up to her. And you don’t have to worry about Casey pressing any charges.”

“How do you know she won’t?” I know it was stupid of me to hit her, but I couldn’t stop myself if I’d wanted to.

Malcolm grins and says, “Mother helped get her out of some shoplifting charges about a year ago. I told Casey if she ever bothered you, I’d make sure those charges didn’t stay buried.” He nods and turns away from me.

“Malcolm?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

He walks back to me and says, “It’s you I need to thank. You made me finally see how much my mother controls everything I do, even with me marrying Casey. But not anymore. I’m walking away from it all and I want to be a better person now. I just hate I hurt you and Gabbie in the process. I know I can never make up for what I did, and I’ll regret what I let happen for the rest of my life. I should’ve stood up to my mother a long time ago and all I want now is what’s best for Gabbie. I know I’m not the person she needs in her life and even though Viktor and I have had our differences, I see how much she loves him and he loves her. Tell him I said to take care of her, and you. I don’t know if you two have worked things out, but maybe you can forgive him and give him a second chance.”

I feel relief at what he tells me. I’m glad it’s all over, but there’s still one thing that’s bothering me. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

I sigh, trying not to let the past and all the pain he’s caused come to the surface. “Where did you go when you left?”

He runs a hand through his hair as he says, “I told mother about my gambling problem. She wanted me to get away for a while so we went to Italy for about six months. I know it was stupid and selfish of me to not at least tell you what was happening. I let mother control everything, and when she told me there was no time for goodbyes, I didn’t bother to worry about it.”

I look down at my feet, hating his mother even more. I know it was wrong of him to leave, but it’s also his mother’s fault for him disappearing. “Why didn’t you ever call or try to see Gabbie before?”

“Honestly, I was scared. The entire time we were together, I was freaking out inside. I didn’t know how to deal with it and I didn’t know the first thing about being a dad.” I don’t want to feel bad for him, but I do. He’s the father of my child. Even if he never comes around again, there will always be a soft spot for him because of Gabbie. Because he helped give me the greatest gift imaginable. I really don’t know what else to say to him. I’m grateful he’s letting this custody thing go, and I agree that he’s not the man Gabbie needs in her life. I hate that her and I had to go through so much just to get here, but maybe in a way it was a lesson for all of us.

“Where will you go?” I ask when he turns to leave again.

He shrugs and says, “I’m not sure. I have a few friends up north that I can crash with until I figure it out.” He walks over to me and runs the back of his hand down my face. “I wish things could’ve been different for us. That’s another thing I’ll regret.” He leans down and kisses my forehead and he hugs me tightly. I sigh deeply, feeling a huge weight being lifted off me. I hug him back, and when steps away, I finally feel nothing for him. No anger, confusion, or even sadness. It’s as if he’s just another person, another stranger in the crowd. I watch as he drives away, and right before I walk back in the house, I see Viktor’s car sitting a few yards away from the house.

I stare as his car drives away, but instead of calling him on his phone and beg him to let me explain, I walk inside and shut the door behind me.

Two months later

I stare at the pink lines on the fourth pregnancy test. It’s déjà vu, only this time, I’m almost two years older and I didn’t get knocked up at party. I set the test down by the other three, wondering how in the world did this happen? I know how it happened, but I’m on the shot. I turn to the door as Gabbie bangs on the other side, wanting to see what I’m doing.

“Hold on a minute.” I open the door and she runs in the bathroom.

“Mommy, what you doing?”

“I had to go to the bathroom.” I start to walk out, but Gabbie goes to the sink where my tests are. She stares at them and before I can tell her to leave them alone, she grabs two off the sink and runs out of the bathroom.

“Gabriella, get back here!” She giggles as I chase her down the stairs. She’s waving both tests around her head screaming, “Mommy’s sticks!”

“Gabbie, give them to me now.”

“No, mommy, I play wid dem sticks.”

She hides behind my mom and I close my eyes knowing she’s about to find out I’m pregnant. Again. I have got to be the most fertile woman ever. “Gabbie, please give them to me.”

She giggles and mom bends down and picks her up. “What have you got there?”

Shit. Mom pulls my tests out of Gabbie’s hands and looks right at me. She tosses both tests in the trash and says, “Gabbie, we need to wash your hands. These had pee on them. They’re nasty.”

“Oh no! Gammie, dem nasy!” I can’t help but to laugh. Mom helps Gabbie wash her hands then puts her down. Gabbie runs off saying, “Dem nasy sticks,” over and over. That child of mine is something else.

“Do you have something to tell me?” Mom asks. I look at her and shrug.

“I guess I’m pregnant again.”

“Honey, this is great news!” She hugs me and rubs my back. I don’t know why she’s so happy about it. Viktor hasn’t tried to speak to me since seeing Malcolm and I together on the porch two months ago, so it doesn’t look like he’ll be a part of the baby’s life. He still calls Gabbie every day, but he doesn’t try to talk to me anymore.

“Mom,” I pull away from her. “How’s this a good thing? I swear it’s like the time with Malcolm all over again. Just different circumstances.’’

“Ava, how can you say that? Viktor’s going to be thrilled!”

“He hasn’t even tried to talk to me in two months. How can you say he’ll be happy about this?” I want him to be thrilled about the baby, I really do, and I just have to be realistic about it.

“Well, you haven’t exactly tried talking to him either.”

“Mom, please. I don’t want to get into it.”

“You have to tell him, Ava.” I sigh, knowing she’s right. He would eventually find out, no doubt from Gabbie’s big mouth.

“I’m just going to make an appointment and go from there. I can’t worry about Viktor right now.” Mom doesn’t seem to hear me. She’s already planning the damn baby shower. I just hope it’s not another girl. I don’t know if I could handle all that pink again. I nod and slowly walk away as she keeps talking about it. I pull out my phone and I call my doctor, making an appointment for a few days from now.

I hang up and sigh, wondering what the hell am I going to do with two kids?

I wait for Dr. Brightstone to come back with the results of my pregnancy test. I know it’ll be positive. I never miss a period and with the morning sickness, I just knew even before I took four tests. I see her walk back into my room, smiling at me.

“Positive right?”

“It sure is. Congratulations, Ava.”

She starts to go over the routine things like taking my prenatal vitamins again, upcoming appointments, and she tells me we’re going to an exam to check to see how far along I am. I nod and listen to her talk. I’ve been here before, I know all this already, but I think she’s just being thorough with her job. I don’t really mind. It’s helping to keep my nerves and thoughts of Viktor away.

“Ready to see your baby?” I nod and I lay back on the table, as she squirts the cold blue gel on my belly.

“Just relax for me, okay. I’ll make it quick,” she says to me as she taps on the sonogram machine and turns it to me. “There he or she is. Baby looks great and I’d say you’re around ten to twelve weeks along.” She saves the shot and prints me a picture to take home. I’m glad when she gives me a napkin to wipe the gel off and I slowly sit up. I hold the grainy picture in my hands and I start to tear up. I can’t help but to wish Viktor was here with me.

“Ava, are you alright?”

I wipe the tear that escapes and look up at her. “Yeah, I’m fine. A bit emotional, but that’s expected right?” I laugh thinking I’m always emotional.

“Yes, you know how it goes. Hormones and all that.” I nod and she asks, “Do you have any questions for me?”

“I do have one. I was on the shot, and I’m just curious to how I was able to get pregnant.”

“Well, as you know, the Depo shot isn’t one hundred percent, just like with all birth control. Sometimes when it’s getting close to the time for another round, the shot will wear off faster than it’s supposed to. It doesn’t happen very often, but that’s why we always encourage using protection a month before you’re supposed to come back in.”

“That’s what I don’t understand. Viktor and I were always care …” I stop myself. I close my eyes, remembering the one and only time Viktor hadn’t used a condom. I glance up to Dr. Brightstone, and say, “There was one time we didn’t use protection.”

“One time is all it takes I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, seems that way.”

“Is there anything else you want to ask me?” When I tell her no, she tells me I can get dressed. I quickly put my clothes back on, and I realize I need to stop by my house and grab some more things. I haven’t been back since the night Viktor confessed to using me. I don’t want to go back there, but I’m running out of things to wear. I look down at my T-shirt, thinking I’ve worn this one so many times, it’s losing it’s color.

I leave the doctor’s office and I call mom. “How’d it go?”

“It went fine, mom. Thank you for watching Gabbie for me. There’s no way she would’ve let me get checked out.” Mom laughs and agrees with me. “I’m just going to go grab a few things from the house and I’ll be on my way back.”

“Okay honey. Take your time and be careful.”

“I will, mom. Bye.” I hang up the phone and I turn up the radio as I make the hour drive back to my old home.

I sit in the SUV longer than I should. All I can do is stare at my house that I once loved coming to. So many memories were made in there, and I have to shake my head to make the memories stop. I slowly get out, thankful I don’t see Viktor’s car here. I really don’t know where he is or what he’s been up to. But at the same time, maybe it’s best to just go our separate ways. So much had happened in one night and even though Malcolm isn’t in the picture anymore, I still don’t know if I can forgive Viktor for using me like he did.

I walk up the steps as I pull out my house key. I linger for a moment before I open the door and walk inside. I set the keys down on the small table by the door and I can’t believe how everything looks the same. It’s as if Gabbie and I never left. If anything, it looks like someone has recently cleaned. Gabbie’s toys are neatly placed in her toy box in the corner in the living room. There’s no dishes in the sink, and the floor is shining as if it was just waxed. I wonder if Viktor has been staying here, but I quickly shove that thought away. I push back my shoulders, ignoring all the memories trying to come forth, and I head to my bedroom.