Temptation: 3 (Timeless Series) (27 page)

One glimpse of the love and concern in his eyes and her tears flowed freely down her face.

When he tried to tug her back into his arms, she pulled away and started pacing, not quite sure how to broach the subject. Oh dear Lord, how had she squandered his love for pleasure? How was she going to tear her own heart out, hurting him at the same time? He certainly didn’t deserve her infidelity and she didn’t deserve his love.

“Pen?”

Her gaze flew to his at the desperation she heard in the one word.

Holding her stare, he waited patiently for her to explain. Finally, she closed her eyes and whispered in a tormented voice, “I can’t marry you.”

“Yes, you can. You still love me, don’t you?”

“I’ll always love you. You know that. You’re my best friend, but you don’t understand,” she said.

“What’s to understand? Markham will back you. You have no reason to fear reprisals from the earl. He can’t touch you, especially if I can get you with child before we return to England.”

More silence followed because Penny couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Closing her eyes again, she blurted out, “It’s not the earl.”

“Then what? I see nothing standing in the way of our union.”

“Please, Geoff, I can’t marry you because I’ve lain with another,” Penny admitted, unable to hold the information inside any longer.

“What?” he asked, clearly not grasping her meaning. When the moment of realization hit, he only stared at her with eyes wide as saucers.

Watching his features change, Penny’s tears increased.
“I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe that.”

“Do you love him?” Geoff finally asked. “Are you going to marry him?”

Penny heard the pain in his voice and hated herself for her infidelity all the more. “It wouldn’t be wise for me to love him, since he doesn’t love me. And as for marriage to him, well, I’d rather die than marry someone who doesn’t love me.”

“I see,” Geoff said softly. He remained silent, lost in thought. “If that’s the case,” he added in a shaky voice, “then I see no reason why we can’t be married as planned.”

“No. We can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“You think I care?” he shouted, not bothering to hide his anguish. “I lost you
once, I’ll not let you go again.”

His manner turned more passionate, making Penny
realize how much she wanted to give in to his request. Instead, she countered, “What if I carry his child?”

“I don’t care,” he stated heatedly. “I simply don’t care. You’re all I care about.”

“You’d raise another man’s child? And you’d continue loving me even though I don’t deserve your love?”

“Yes,” he said so adamantly that Penny wished she could believe him.

More moisture blurred her eyes. “I can’t let you do that.” She wiped the tears away.

Geoff turned away from her and paced back and forth. After minutes of pacing and thinking, he stopped and faced her again. “Who is he?”

“No one you know.”

“Then what will you do if you are with child? Your child will need a father.”

“I’ll think of something, but I won’t allow you to sacrifice your life for me.” Penny shook her head, unwilling to let him even think of giving up so much for her stupidity.

“Pen, how would it be sacrificing my life when you are my life? It’s better than being totally without you.”

“You deserve someone who loves you enough to be faithful.” When his head moved from side to side with a ready denial on his lips, she put a hand over his mouth. “You know I speak the truth. Eventually the fact that I was unfaithful will change your love.”

“You’re being stubborn. But I’m just as stubborn as you and I’ll not give you up.”

Arguing at this point was futile. And she couldn’t stay here seeing the unhappiness she’d wrought any longer. She turned and rushed to her horse. Untying it, she quickly mounted. “Marrying me won’t change what I did. I don’t think I could endure your scorn,” she added as she glanced back, her soft voice carrying on the breeze. She then kicked the horse’s flank to get him moving.

“Wait! Pen! Please don’t go. We can work this out. Please,” he yelled as she rode away. She pretended not to hear him, urging her horse faster as his voice penetrated her being. “I don’t care. I’d take you any way I can get you, even if I’m second in your affections.”

~~

Dinner that night was a subdued affair, mainly because most at the table seemed preoccupied. Parker didn’t say much. Penny felt his gaze the entire meal, except when every now and then he’d look at Geoff, drawing her attention. Then he’d meet her stare, and he didn’t bother to hide his confused expression. To make matters worse, Elizabeth’s amused gaze landed frequently on both of them before moving to Catherine, who was also acting strangely. Only Lucas and the duke seemed oblivious to all the drama, too caught up in a discussion over business for most of the meal.

Once the ordeal of eating had ended, Penny stood. “If you’ll excuse me.” She flashed a semblance of a smile and swiftly left the table.

The next morning Penny dressed for gardening and rushed outside, looking for solitude. When she spied Parker’s mother on her knees faithfully pulling weeds, a surge of relief went through her. Weeding with Elizabeth was even better than solitude. Reaching for her gloves, hat, and a mat to kneel on, she hurried up to the woman. She placed the mat on the ground and plopped down next to her.

“Good morning,” Penny said. “I didn’t expect you to be here, given last night was so late.”

Elizabeth rocked back on her heels, eyeing Penny thoughtfully. “No rest for the weary,” she said pleasantly.

Nodding, Penny returned her smile, then began to pull weeds, using the time to let her mind wander.

The two weeded quietly for a long while before Elizabeth’s voice broke into Penny’s thoughts. “Geoff seems like a nice young man.”

“He is.”

“When are you to be married?” she asked quietly.

Penny sighed, brushing a stray hair off her face with the back of her gloved hand. Her eyes took in a perfect red rose, where her focus remained. Finally she shook her head. “I’m not sure we are going to be married.”

“Oh?”

The simple one-word question, spoken so softly, held sympathy and was Penny’s undoing. Tears seeped from her eyes. “I’m not sure of anything anymore,” she whispered, her voice full of anguish.

“Shush, don’t cry.” Elizabeth stretched an arm around her shoulder, squeezing gently. “Tell me what’s wrong.” When Penny didn’t offer any words, she prodded, “In the short time you’ve been here, I’ve come to think of you as a daughter. You’ve added much to our household. I’d like to help, if I can.”

“I’m more confused than anything.” The two had grown close these past months. Penny had recognized in Elizabeth the same consistency and strength of her own dead mother. She could almost believe her parents in heaven had guided her to this house, a haven of warmth and love, something sorely lacking in Penny’s last year. Oh, how she missed both her parents’ guidance now.

“Do you love him?” Elizabeth asked, scrutinizing Penny’s face.

“Of course. How could I not? He loves me and he’d never hurt me,” she said, meeting Elizabeth’s sympathetic eyes once she could talk again. “When we decided to marry, I wanted marriage to him more than anything.” Her gaze went back to the rose. “But now I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, child, yes you do,” Elizabeth said earnestly, taking Penny into her comforting arms. She smiled warmly and added convincingly, “You have to follow your heart.”

“How do I determine what my heart wants?” Elizabeth’s warmth felt so good—
a port in a ravaging storm—the storm raging inside of her.

“Now there’s a good question. That’s never easy. In fact, figuring out what we want in this life and then grasping on to it can sometimes be the hardest thing we mortals ever do.”

Finally Penny could smile. When she leaned back, Elizabeth brushed her tears away. “It’s been my experience to understand events happen for a reason. Problems always have a way of working out as long as you follow your heart and are honest with yourself.”

Penny sighed and nodded. What did she want? She did love Geoff. Maybe he could forgive her and she could still be happy with him.

“Good day, everyone,” Penny said cheerfully to the group in the dining room later that day. Ignoring Parker, who she could see out of the corner of her eye watching every move she made, she breezed toward the table.

Elizabeth’s words still played in her mind. Maybe things could work out with Geoff. Her spirits rose, giving her newfound hope. Maybe she could get him to stick to their original plans of going to San Francisco. She rather liked the idea of having that adventure before making the trip back to England. She still had several months until her twenty-fifth birthday, but she certainly didn’t want to stay here any longer. There were just too many memories. Too many reminders of what would never be.

Geoff stood at her approach. “Good day, Pen. I missed you at breakfast.” He bestowed a quick peck on her cheek after holding out her chair. “I hope you’re not avoiding me,” he added a little lower so that only she could hear.

“Of course not, Geoff.” Smiling warmly, she sat down. “I slept late and then I helped Mrs. Davis in the garden.”

“Yes, the dear has been helping me get the beds ready for winter,” Elizabeth chimed in. She sighed heavily and her voice turned wistful. “I’ll miss all the beautiful flowers when the first frost hits. That we haven’t had one yet is definitely a blessing.”

“I hope this beautiful whether holds enough for the ball tomorrow night,” Catherine said.

“Surely the weather won’t affect the ball, will it?” asked Markham. Then he added jovially, “If we waited for perfect weather in England, there’d be no fancy balls.”

“Of course we have the ballroom, but I was hoping to use the patio and gardens like we’ve done in the past.” Catherine’s expression turned dreamy. “I love dancing under the stars.”

“Ah, a romantic,” Markham said, amusement showing in his voice. His smile softened his harsh features, making him appear boyish and approachable, not at all like the formidable picture he presented earlier.
“How nice.”

“Not our Catherine,” Lucas chortled. “There isn’t a romantic bone in her body.”

“That’s not true. Dancing under the stars is romantic and I do love it,” Catherine said, jutting out her chin.

“Now, now, Lucas.
Quit teasing her. You both could learn lessons about romance,” Elizabeth said, not bothering to hide her exasperation. “And wipe that smirk off your face, Parker. You’re no better than your siblings. All of you are disappointing in the romance department.”

“At least I’ve tried,” Parker said. Though he kept his expression serious, his eyes danced with good humor.

“Asking the wrong person doesn’t count. Lady Margaret was wrong for you and you know it,” Elizabeth chided, her annoyance growing. “What I want to know is what you’ve done since.”

Parker’s gaze touched Penny’s briefly, and his smile was quick.
“Like I said, Mother. I’ve tried.”

Casting her glance lower, Penny felt heat rush up her face. When she noticed his hand resting on a goblet, fingering the stem, the warmth deepened. She looked back up to see if he’d caught it.

Parker’s grin spread. “It just didn’t work out,” he said, shaking his head. “And since we’re so disappointing in our romantic pursuits, I think you should concentrate on those grandchildren only Sarah and Rebecca can give,” he teased.

“Humph,” Elizabeth said, dismissing her errant children with the wave of her hand and picking up a fork.

“I’m sorry,” Penny murmured, turning to Geoff and quelling the flood of sensations seeping through her system that only now were subsiding. “I didn’t catch that. I was daydreaming.”

“How about a ride later?”
Geoff leaned closer. “We need to talk. We left things unfinished yesterday.”

“I’d like that.” Penny offered a soft smile, happy to have something else to think of besides the man sitting across from her who seemed too impossible to ignore. Time with Geoff was just what she needed to put her plans into motion. “A talk would be nice,” she answered honestly, her eyes searching Geoff’s. Noticing her handsome best friend’s earnest expression, she exhaled a deep sigh. Her smile deepened. All was not lost. He certainly seemed to accept her perfidy. Maybe he really could forgive her.

~~

Penny and Geoff rode off on horseback, acting much as they used to when younger.

“I bet you can’t beat me to that fence post,” Geoff challenged, goading her into a race.

Penny took off, letting the wind blow through her hair. She felt freer and happier than she had in a long time.

As they neared the post, Geoff shouted, “Stop. I concede defeat.” Laughing, he galloped closer once she’d slowed. “You always could outride me, Pen.”

Once he caught up, they ambled, neither speaking.

“Why can’t it be like it used to be?” he asked moments later, interrupting their companionable silence. “We had so much fun back then.”

Her eyes focused on the surrounding scenery. “That’s true. We did.” Fall hadn’t made much of a presence yet and the trees still appeared
more green than yellow or red. Keeping her gaze on the horizon, she added, “I guess we’ve grown up. Things have happened in the past year that have changed who we were.”

“Did you lie when you said you still love me?” he asked, halting his mount, his intent gaze traveling across her face.

His whispered plea gripped her soul. She reined her horse to a stop and answered honestly. “No. How can I not love you after all we’ve shared? But you have to admit, your love has always been stronger.”

“I don’t believe that.” Shaking his head, he urged his horse forward. Penny did the same. “I don’t know what happened with the earl. Nor do I know how you came to lie with another man. I really don’t want to know or think about either. It eats at me. I blame myself. I can’t change the outcome and I should’ve done more to prevent both. But I refuse to believe you’ve changed so much. What I see before me when I look at you is the same engaging minx I used to follow all over the wilds of Northumberland before I went to Eton.”

“No, I’m not,” she said. “I’ll never be that girl again.”

“Maybe.
But know this. I’d still follow you anywhere.” Judging by his fervent expression, he meant it. “You need me, Pen. I’ll take care of you.”

All of a sudden, her doubts prevailed. “I don’t know, Geoff.” Her trepidation grew. “I’m confused.”

“How can you be confused?”

“Because I don’t know what to do right now.”

“It’s very simple. You marry me. After you reach your majority, we’ll go back to England and you can take your rightful place as your parents’ heiress. The earl won’t be able to do a thing about it, especially if you’ve conceived. If not, it’s easily remedied.”

“I thought I could marry you, but now I don’t think it’s what I want.” She pulled on the reins and dismounted. Looking around, it dawned on Penny that she’d led Geoff to the same spot where she and Parker had made love weeks earlier. She shook away the memory when Geoff stormed up to her.

He put his hands on her shoulders. “It’s a perfect solution. But we don’t have a lot of time. The earl could find you and then where will you be?”

His words brought to mind that first time Parker told her she should marry him. They were so similar. Was marriage to Geoff what she really wanted or just a solution to her problem? Glancing at him now as he paced and rubbed his neck in obvious dismay, she came to a sudden realization. She had changed. His love didn’t seem to be enough anymore. Instead of voicing her thoughts, she said, “I’m not in England and I’m not afraid of him any longer. He can’t force me to marry him. Not here. I’ll figure out a way.”

“I don’t understand why you won’t marry me,” he said, halting in front of her, his expression becoming sullen. His gaze went out toward the water before returning to hers. “No one will love you more than me.”

Penny sighed and placed a hand on his face, lovingly tracing his firm jaw. Always her golden champion. Oh, how she wished she loved him as she did Parker. And because she didn’t, she had to let him go. “I know. You deserve someone who loves you just as much.”

“So you’re saying you love this other man? The man you’ve lain with?” he asked, taking her gloved hand and kissing her wrist. “Tell me that and I’ll leave it alone.”

“I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m confused and because I’m confused, I’m not marrying anyone,” Penny replied, pulling her hand out of his. She turned and walked to the rock, her gaze resting on the water. Holding it there, she said, “In fact, I’m leaving here. I’m going to California as we originally planned. I’d hoped you’d accompany me.”

“So you will marry me?” Hope swelled in his tone.

“No. You misunderstand. We’d travel together, but I won’t marry you. I’m going whether you accompany me or not.”

“You want me to accompany you without being married?” Geoff asked, clearly incensed at the thought. “I can’t do that.”

“Come now, Geoff. Surely you can’t be afraid for my virtue. I have none,” she teased, amusement sliding over her expression.

Her teasing only made him angrier, which came out in his voice. “You’re being unreasonable, expecting me to bend propriety. It simply isn’t done.”

“Now you sound like Markham. I didn’t think you’d changed, but I just realized you have. You never used to be so bound by convention.”

“Why? Because I want marriage to the woman I’ve loved most of my life? You’re just as bound. You’ll never change the fact that you’re an English heiress. You should stop all this talk about such nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense. The Davises have taught me much. I like it here in America. I think you will too. You’re the younger son. You can make your fortune here.”

“Penny, you’re not thinking. What will you do for money to live on?”

She hadn’t thought about that. “I still have the money you gave me.” And she still had her mother’s jewelry to sell.

“That won’t last long.”

“After my birthday, I’ll fight the earl for my money.” Once she attained the age stipulated in her parents’ will, she could find a barrister who’d take her case. Of course, it wasn’t lost on her that her case would be strengthened if she had a husband.

Geoff swore under his breath, kicking the ground in obvious frustration. “You’re an Englishwoman.
An English heiress. You can’t hide from who you are.”

“I know that part of me will never change, but I don’t think I can go back to being Lady Penelope Lytton. I like Penny Layton too much. I think she’s been with me always, hiding underneath.” She grabbed his hands and squeezed, trying to make him understand. “Come with me. It will be an adventure. Think of the fun we can have.”

“No. I’ll not do it, and neither will you. Do you hear me? I’ll give you time to come to your senses and realize that I’m your best solution. I love you, and I expect you to marry me. After your birthday, we’ll be going back to England, where you can take your rightful place in society.”

Penny kept her eyes on his stubborn expression, which said he’d never back down. “It seems we’re at an impasse.” Sighing, she shook her head. “I’m not marrying you, nor am I returning to England to live.”

“You will marry me and once you’re my wife, you’ll have no choice but to obey me. You have several months to get used to the idea,” he said before turning and stalking to his horse.

Penny watched in stunned silence as he mounted. She never thought to see Geoff acting so much like Markham.

Her spine stiffened when he glanced at her without bothering to conceal his irritation. “It’s time to go back.”

Keeping her chin up, Penny walked resolutely to her horse and mounted. “I’m not changing my mind, Geoff.”

“Nor am I, my lady,” he replied, clicking the reins to get his horse moving.

~~

Standing in front of the mirrored glass in Catherine’s room, helping her dress as well as receiving help, Penny tried to muster up some of the same excitement Catherine couldn’t hide. She simply wasn’t in the mood to pretend happiness when she had nothing to be happy about.

The day had been impossible. It had been hard enough to keep from thinking of Parker, but every time she looked up and caught Geoff’s resolute gaze, her task of remaining sane became more arduous. Geoff had then dogged her heels and wouldn’t let her be. Somehow she had to make him understand. She meant what she said. It annoyed her that he didn’t listen to her. He acted like every other man she knew, thinking she should obey him and that he could fix what was broken rather than accept what was.

At least no one else had paid her any attention, as all had been wrapped up in the ball, which would take place in less than an hour.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts.

Laughing, Catherine rushed to open it. “Parker?” she said, drawing Penny’s attention. “What are you doing here?”

“Bending the rules.”
His nod indicated the room. “Is everyone decent?”

At Catherine’s grin and yes, he strode over the threshold, and spotting Penny staring, his grin spread. “Ah, there you are and looking much like the angel I know you to be.”

He was dressed in formal evening attire. His debonair looks could grace any ballroom in England. She spun around and glanced at her reflection in the cheval glass in an attempt to dismiss him from her mind, not wanting to find him attractive any longer.