As she turned she controlled her breathing. She would not be impressed. She would not be impressed. She would notâ¦
Wow.
Every time she looked at him his eyes pierced herâso dark and intense. And right now they were sparkling with mischief. The shadows and dips of his cheekbones seemed more acute today and he certainly rocked the swarthy tall, dark and handsome cliché. In a collared black shirt that showed off his broad chest and snug jeans that hugged his legs he looked dangerous and sinful and so out of her league. Not that she had a league or even wanted to be in one. But, it was safe to say, if she did, he would be stratospherically out of it.
âGood evening, Mr Finelli. Yes, I'm here. My assistant insisted and it looks like the whole hospital is here too, so that's good, I'll get the humiliation over and done with in one clean swoop. I'm just showing my face, having a quick drink and thenâ¦' She lifted her overloaded workbag, the zipper almost splitting with the contents. âWork.'
âAh, yes. It never stops.' Shoving a hand in his
pocket, he pulled out a wad of notes and gave them to the barman. âI'll get these.'
Becca grinned her starstruck thanks and went to join the group in the far corner.
Double great
.
Thanks a bunch. Leave me here
w
ith him, why don't you? Traitor.
Ivy picked up her glass and nodded to him. âThanks. I owe you one.' Then she took a step towards her crowd.
âNot so fast.'
âSorry?' Ignoring the flustered feeling in her chest, she turned back to him, wondering what the Italian for cold shoulder was. Because that was what she intended on giving him.
Freddo shouldero, matey
. âI'm on my way over to Beccaâ¦'
But he didn't take the hint. Instead, he smiled. For a fleeting moment it was almost genuine. âHow are you feeling, Ivy? No ill effects? No more fainting episodes?'
âI'm fine, thanks. Absolutely hunky dory. I'll see youâ¦Thursday? For my workshop?'
Round two
.
âAgain with this.' His voice was grim, but his smile was infectious as he took her arm and gently steered her away from the busy bar to a quieter corner. And, to her chagrin, she went with him. Was it her imagination or could she feel everyone's eyes on her back? âWe're away from work now on neutral ground, and it's the weekend.
People just want to relax and have a good evening, me included. How about we drop our guard a little?'
This could be interesting. âThis is where you lull me into a false sense of security then you pounce, right?'
He shrugged. âI don't need to do that. We could just have a conversation and see where we get to?'
Nancy squeezed past them to get to the bathrooms. âHey, Ivy. How are you feeling? Okay? Is Matteo giving you some tips?' She winked. âHe's very good.'
Ivy looked at the curve of his mouth and imagined a million things he'd be good at. Then ignored the flare of heat circling in her gut. âI'll bet he is.'
âWith fainting cures, that isâ¦'
âObviously.'
As Nancy disappeared into the bathroom Ivy put her bag on the floor, took a long drink and felt the warmth of the wine suffuse her throat. âShe's a stirrer.'
âShe's a joker, but she has a good point.' Matteo's smile hadn't dropped. âHow on earth are we going to get you ready to face the scalpel again next week?'
Aha. Plan A. âI'll be fine. I was going to start by watching a few videos online. Type “kidney
transplant” into a search engine and there are hundreds of operations right there to pick from. You get a bird's-eye view, too, and commentary. It's almost as if you're actually there in the room, without all the smells or noises orâ¦'
Without you
, she thought, all large and looming and stealing her breath. So it would be videos all the way until she was inured to the gore, with the sound turned to mute and a decent bottle of wine for Dutch courage. Anything not to lose face again next week.
âAh, yes. The joys of the web. Amazing what you can find.' His smile glittered teasingly.
She ignored that, too, knowing damned well he was referring to his glorious backside. Which she did not want to see. Or think about. At all. âLike I told you, some people do actually put useful things up there. It can be very educational.'
âAnd you are not at work now, so you don't need to give me the chat.' He emphasised
chat
with a sarcastic twitch of his fingers. âEnjoy whatever you find on the internetâ¦but make sure you take your hands away from your face first. And that you're sittingâ¦no, lying down. You'll have less far to fall.'
âHa-ha. You really are enjoying this.'
âWhat's not to like?' he said, in a voice filled with smugness, like the cat that had got the grappa-laced cream. âBut I'm glad you want to
come back and see the wager through. You have strength. You have this hard outer shell, but underneath there is a softer side to you. A side you don't always want other people to see.'
That touched a raw nerve. She was only protecting herself, something she'd learnt to do because of experiences with men like him. She'd already lost enough to a selfish, inadequate man who'd wanted to play God, so she intended to keep herself whole and had no desire to fall prey to any guy's wishes. Plus, she'd seen her mother curl up in a ball and weep over someone who she'd given a part of herself to. Watched her crumble until she'd thought she couldn't live without him, couldn't put one step in front of another. Couldn't function. Ivy had no intention of crumbling. âDon't we all keep a side of us private? I imagine there's more to you than what you show, too, Matteo. It's just how we project ourselves to the world, that's all. We don't have to show all our sides to everyone.'
He looked at her for a moment, his eyebrows raised, then shook his head, clearly perplexed. âI am me. This is it.'
âSure it is.' All annoying and smug and profound Italian with raw sex appeal and, she decided, probably not a lot of substance.
He shrugged as if he was reading her mind and he didn't give a jot what she thought. He
probably didn't. âOkay, whatever you think. You have your mind made up, I don't intend wasting my time trying to convince you otherwise. But, seriously, take a few small steps. Watch a video or two and concentrate on your body's response. Make sure you even out your breathing. Make sure it's deep and slow and regular, not jumpy, like it is right now.'
Ivy took a long slow breath in, felt a thump of palpitation in her chest as she willed her heart to slow. âMy breathing is fine.'
âReally? Could have fooled me. Because right now I'd say you were about to hyperventilate.' He reached a hand to her earlobe and checked out her silver hoop earring, ran a finger across the sensitive part of her neck. âSee. When I do thatâ¦up it goes. You need to be aware of that.'
Hello, I am very aware. Too aware.
Her heart jittered, her hand started to shake again as she rubbed the spot he'd touched. âI'll bear that in mind.' And, for the record, if she was to have a
thing
with anyone, it wouldn't be with a sexed-up macho surgeon. She would choose someone interested in the kind of things she liked, art, literature, someone with class and sophistication.
Not just a nice ass. And nice hands. And a devastating smile.
The smile spoke. âAnd relax. Know your body well enough that you can identify signs of tension
and consciously relax. Or, another method if you start to feel light-headed, tense your arms and legs and get the blood flowing well. Wiggle your toes to make sure your venous return is sufficient.'
âYup. Thanks.'
âAnd why not just start with watching someone take blood firstâ¦move on up to renal transplants in a day or so? You don't want to run before you walk. Yes?'
âNo. Yes. Whatever. Thanks for the pep talk.' She tried, but failed, to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. âYou trained in psychology as well as medicine?'
âNo.' His eyebrows rose. âBut I had to get back into that theatre on day two somehow.'
âOh. You were serious earlier about being sick in the OR? I thought you were just saying that to make me feel better.' Something really had rattled the great Dr Delicious once upon a time? âAnd even after that you went on and trained to be a surgeon? Why? Why didn't you go into something less gory if it made you throw up?'
âBecause that wasn't my dream. My dream was to be a renal surgeon. I don't like to do second best.'
She didn't doubt that or that he'd fight tooth and nail for what he wanted. He was the kind of guy who always got what he wanted and was
used to snapping out ordersâand having them followed. âWhy renal surgery? Why not orthopaedics or plastics, or something else?'
He took a drink from his beer bottle and for a moment looked pensive. âMy sister needed a kidney when she was eleven. She got one, in the end, although it took some time. And I could see the immediate change in her. I got my little sister back, with no pain and a future and so much energy. It was like a miracle. They saved her life. It seemed such a fabulous thing to do that I set my heart on it.'
Again with the surprise. The man could do serious and personal. This was the side of him she'd thought he hid. But he'd been rightâhe was up-front and honest. In an irritatingly candid way. Maybe she just hadn't asked him the right questions.
And maybe she'd be better joining Becca right now. But hell if her feet didn't root themselves to the spot. âKnowing how much demand there is for kidneys, I'd say she was very lucky. You have just the one sister?'
âNo. Two sisters and three brothers. Yes, I know. It's a huge family by most standards. Even by Italian standards.'
âWow. That must have been busy. Are they all like you? Your poor mother.'
âIt was challenging, I think. In lots of ways it
was hard for her.' His face almost dipped into serious, then he broke out into a smile. âI am the oldest. I know what you're thinking, yes, they hated me. I'm bossy and organised and like being in charge. There isn't any insult you could call me that I haven't already been called.'
âI don't know, I'm sure I could think of a few.'
âDon't think too hard.' He took another drink. âAnd you?'
âMe? No. Not many people have insulted me.' Actually, that was a lie, but it had been the pitying looks that had cut the deepest. No amount of physiotherapy and practice could cut the limp out completely. And with that thought the pain came shooting back up her leg, tripping across the scars. She instinctively shifted her weight, wishing she could change out of her work shoes into something more comfortable.
Matteo looked at her as if waiting for her to explain her sudden reverie. âIvy?'
âWhat?'
âI meant family,' he explained. âYou have brothers and sisters?'
âI'm an only child. I did have a stepbrother once, for a few years, and then there was a divorceâmake that the second out of threeâand they moved away.' She tilted her head a little to one side and found a smile to try to tell him she was fine with it. Still, it had been nice being part
of something bigger. More than nice. And the fallout when Sam had left had been huge in so many ways, losing her stepbrother, Taylor, just one of them.
He's not your real brother, so stop whingeing
.
Imagine how I feel without my husband. How will I cope without him? How will I survive?
âLargely it's been just me and my mum.' And a string of unsuccessful relationships.
âThe doctor. And you didn't want to follow in her footsteps?' He grinned. âAh, no, of course, the fainting thing.'
âThat and the fact that I hated hospitals for a long, long time.' And now she'd said too much. Looking for an out, she turned to look over at a commotion on the stage. âWhat's happening over there?'
Again he looked at her with a quizzical expression. âWhy did you hate hospitals?'
âLook, I really should go.'
âI'm sorry, I asked you something you didn't want to answer.' His voice softened a little and she was startled and humbled by his honest, straightforward approach. Yes, he had asked. And, no, she didn't want to talk about it and see his pity and later his revulsion. But he continued chatting, undeterred, âIt's charity karaoke. The bar manager lets us have fifty percent of the proceeds if we get the crowd started. Every penny counts. We're fundraising for a new dialysis
machine. We're always fundraising for a new dialysis machine. We will never have enough. We can only do so much to make our own miracles.' He picked up her bag and started to walk towards the stage. âCome watch?'
âErâ¦will I have to sing?'
âIf you want to help us raise money. And you said you did.'
Despite the endless irritation he instilled in her, the thought of spending more time with Matteo really appealed. Really, truly, and she knew it was nothing to do with helping him raise money. Panic took over from the pain in her foot. She could not want to spend more time with Matteo.
She shook her head. âThis wasn't what I had in mind. There's lots of other, bigger ways we can help. Besides, I've already made a fool of myself once today, thank you very much. Singing is definitely not going to help my cause of winning over the hearts and minds of the staff.' She checked her watch. âI'm going home.'
âMatteo! Matteo!' A guy called over. âCome on, mate, stop chatting up the ladies and get that famous peach of a backside over here. We're starting.'
Matteo grimaced and raised a finger. âGive me a minute, Steve.' Then he turned to her and she could have sworn his eyes flicked towards her feet and then back to her face. âI'm never going
to live that picture down. Now, how are you getting home? I'll walk you to the door and get you a cab. Or walk you to the car park.'
âIt's fine. My bus stop's just over the road. I can walk across the pub on my own, and, believe me, it'll be a damned sight easier than walking in.'