Tempting BAD: VIP Spin Off (46 page)

“I’m a monster, too.” I held her there, not moving and just breathing her in.

Her fear.

Her sadness.

Her despair.

Her tears.

I wanted it all.

She sobbed and it choked her breathing, which I held onto so desperately; so brutally. When I realized what I was doing, what I had done, it was too late. I immediately let her go and her body fell forward, sucking in the air that I was taking away.

“Fuck,” I stepped back, raising my hands in the air. “Fuck… I’m so sorry,” I frantically pleaded, tears falling down my face that I hadn’t felt before.

Was I crying that entire time?

She was hunched over, placing all her weight on her knees. Breathing in fresh air. She looked up at me with her Bambi eyes that I loved so much.

“It’s okay,” she gasped, standing up and reaching her arms toward me. “It’s okay, Devon, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry you went through that,” she sobbed, walking toward me, as I stepped back away from her.

I couldn’t take it; I didn’t want her sympathy, or her concern. I had hurt her.

I was my father.

“Don’t touch me, Brooke,” I cautioned, moving her hands away from me.

“Devon, please… please… I’m so sorry… just let me…” she pleaded in a voice of pure desperation and sorrow.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Brooke, I’m warning you.”

She didn’t let up trying to touch my face, my arms, and my chest. Her hands burned, it was as if she was touching me with fire. It hurt everywhere she placed them, everywhere she touched me, leaving behind deeper scars than the ones my father had left.

“I’m so sorry, Devon, so sorry,” she mourned, pulling me into a hug.

It was too much.

It was too real.

It overwhelmed me and consumed me.

It hurt me and it killed me.

I reacted.

I punched the wall behind her, breaking right through the drywall. She screamed and shuddered, when I looked at her face…

I didn’t see Brooke, I didn’t see Bambi, and I didn’t see a VIP.

I saw my mother.

I backed away from her immediately and left her there. I ran toward the door and out of her life.

Terrified of what else…

I was capable of.

I don’t know how long I stood there in shock over what had just happened. I fell to the ground at one point, crying and bawling for everything.

There was no start or beginning to where my tears flowed; they were endless. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think.

All of it.

We were two broken people that had found their way to one another.

God was cruel.

I was shaking so badly, I hurt everywhere. My hand securely wrapped around my throat. It burned and it was sore, but in a fucked up way, it was comforting; because I could still feel his presence. I laid my hand on top of me like a blanket keeping me warm. The chest pains took over and I laid myself onto the floor.

Mourning the loss of my life.

My heart.

My future.

My love.

It had run out my door, taking everything I wanted and knew I couldn’t have with him.

I fell asleep in a fit of despair and loneliness. When I woke up, I was laying in my bed. I had no idea how I even ended up there. My heart soared, thinking that it was Devon who placed me in there. I ran out of my bedroom like a bat out of hell, making my way into the kitchen.

There was a note on the island. I clutched onto it.

Madam knows best. Always. Get some rest; you’re going to need it. Your new phone will be delivered late this morning. You look like shit….

Fix that.

Madam

I sat on the couch with the note still in my hand. I looked around my condo. The drywall had been fixed, and there was no longer a gaping hole in the wall.

My place felt empty without Devon. My sanctuary was no longer mine…

It felt like a home.

With Devon.

I sat at the front door with a half a bottle of whiskey clutched in my grasp. The door opened and I swiftly fell back onto the ground.

“Hey, Mom,” I greeted, half-laughing.

“Jesus Christ, Devon, what are you doing? Have you been drinking?” she asked, lifting me up off the floor.

I pulled away from her. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. What the hell is going on?” she asked, following me into the living room.

I glared at the room where I killed him; standing in the same spot I watched him take his last breath.

“Why?” I said out loud, not taking my eyes off the spot where his lifeless body laid.

“Devon—”

“Why, Mom? You owe me that. I need to know why.”

“Why what, Devon?”

I sat down on the couch, still gawking and picturing his lifeless body before me. “You know.”

“No, honey, I don’t. You see there are too many questions and answers that run through my mind. Every day.”

“Why didn’t you ever leave him?”

She sighed and rounded the corner, crouching herself in front of me. “Devon, look at me,” she ordered.

My neutral, dead stare turned to hers.

“Oh my God, what happened?”

I shrugged. “I lost control. I hurt her. Like I hurt him. Like he hurt you.”

She anxiously shook her head. “No… Devon. You couldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Tell that to the grave where we buried his body.”

She placed her hand over her mouth, shocked. “Listen. To. Me,” she demanded, leaning over and pulling me onto the ground with her. I went effortlessly.

“Devon, you saved us. You saved our lives. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me; I did. Every time I stayed. Every time I made an excuse for him. Every bruise and scar you have on your body, is because of me. Yes, he inflicted it, but I didn’t walk away, Devon. I didn’t take care of you like I should have, and I will forever have to pay for that. You didn’t do anything. Do you understand me?”

“That’s not how I remember it,” I interjected, taking a swig from the bottle. She pulled it from my grasp, and the liquor fell down my mouth.

“He was different that night. I know it like I know my name. He was going to kill us, Devon, after he finished with me; he was going directly to you and then your sisters. You saved us; do you hear me? Please tell me you understand.”

“Then why did we have to cover it up, Mom? Why did we have to pretend like someone broke in? Hmmm? Makes no sense when you put it that way, does it?” I stated, cocking my head to the side.

“Devon, do you for one second think that his partner would have helped us, if he thought you would get away with it? No. He knew. The second I called him he knew. He rushed over here and he helped us. You know what he said to me? He said he was sorry, honey. He apologized to me over and over again, because he knew… but didn’t do anything about it. That’s why he helped us.” She grabbed the sides of my face.

“I’m so sorry, honey, I love you so much, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough for you. You didn’t get to have a life because of me. I ruined it for you. But you saved us. You remember that… you saved all of our lives. God knows that. I know that. Your sisters know that.” She kissed all over my face.

“I love you so much. I will never forgive myself for what I put you through; it’s my punishment. I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. You didn’t do anything, but protect us. Exactly how you always have.”

I nodded, sniffling. My body fell forward and I hugged around her waist, clutching onto her, trying to find my bearings.

I sobbed.

“Shhh… it’s okay, baby,” she murmured, rubbing at my back. “It’s okay. You’re not anything like him. You’re my good boy and even better man. I’m so proud of you, Devon, so proud.”

I bawled for hours, and she held onto me so tightly.

And for once I didn’t feel like the man I was always supposed to become.

I felt like the boy that I was never allowed to be…

A few weeks later I groggily answered my phone, “Hello?” I glanced at the time—four thirty in the morning.

“Brooke Stevens?” the man on the phone inquired.

“Yeah… who is this?” I replied, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

“There’s been an accident.”

I sat straight up in my bed. “What?” I yelled out. “What do you mean?”

“Lilith Stone… you’re her contact in case of emergency.”

“Lilith?” I asked confused. “Madam?”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes… I know Lilith. What’s going on?”

“We can’t state any information over the phone, ma’am. She’s been taken to Jackson Memorial.”

“Oh my God! Is she okay? Is she going to be okay?”

“I can’t disclose any of that information. The nurses will inform you once you’ve arrived.”

“Okay, I’m on my way, thank you.”

I barely had time to throw something on before I made my way into the hospital, running up to the nurse’s desk.

“Lilith Stone, she’s been brought in here. Is she okay? What’s going on?”

“Ma’am, please calm down.”

I eagerly nodded, trying to catch my breathing.

“Are you her next of kin?”

“No, I’m her emergency contact person.”

“Can I see a form of I.D?”

I reached into my clutch and pulled out my license, handing it over to her. She took a copy of it and handed it back to me.

“Miss Stevens, she’s in ICU, she’s stabilized. That’s all we know right now.”

“Oh my God.”

“We’re doing everything we can. She’s in good hands.”

“Can I see her?”

She nodded. They took me to a private room, and she was on all these ventilators. I barely recognized her face; it was so badly beaten.

I stayed with her the entire night, holding her hand, and not being able to leave her side. It took two days for her to fully wake up, and then four more days for her to talk. I had been bringing her flowers for the last two days.

She smiled at me as I placed new flowers on her window.

“Are you ready, darling?” she asked.

I nodded. “I still don’t understand why you think I need help running VIP. I can do this on my own, Madam.”

Since the minute she woke up she had been telling me that I needed to call Ysabelle. She had to come home to help me run VIP while she recovered. The doctors said it would take months for her to recover, and she would be transferred to a rehabilitation center; much to her disapproval.