Tender savage (60 page)

'Torgive me. I know you must think this none of my business, but Erica was married to my brother. You are the one who convinced me to be charitable toward her, and if I am not offended by her conduct, then surely no one else has the right to be."

Lars stared at his companion as she fumbled for her handkerchief before bringing it to her eyes. The fact that

she would disagree with him about Etienne was not nearly so upsetting as her mention of loving a man she seldom saw. Thinking she must be referring to some young man away fighting the war, he slum()ed back in his chair, more hurt than he cared to admit. He liked everything about Sarah, for she had many endearing qualities, but he recalled how reluctant she had been wnen he had first asked her to remain in Washington so they could become better acquainted. He had thought her merely shy, but had she simply been interested in someone else? He thought she had enjoyed his company as much as he had enjoyed hers when she had extended her visit, but apparently his efforts to impress her had failed. He knew his letters had lacked any hint of poetry, but he had written, which had not been easy when he was always so pressed for time, and he had considered her friendly replies assurance enough that their friendship was moving toward something permanent. Apparently he had been mistaken, and her affections lay elsewhere. Now that she had admitted as much, he felt thoroughly betrayed and incredibly foolish. "I don't know what to say," he finally admitted aloud.

"About what?" Amazed that he was so badly disappointed that her opinion differed from his, Sarah thought she would be wise to bid him goodnight before things grew even more strained between them, but she was too curious as to why he seemed to be at a loss for words to do it just yet.

Lars shrugged unhappily. "Well, I simply had no idea there was someone else. You told me you had loved a man who was unaware of your feelings and did not return them, but still, I didn't suspect that you cared for another man now."

"I thought we were talking about Erica and Etienne. Do you want to talk about you and me instead?" Delighted by that prosjject, Sarah couldn't suppress a delighted smile.

Ck>nfused by her sudden change in mood, since it seemed so highly inappropriate, Lars's frown deepened. "You iust said there was someone else: a man you loved and seldom saw. If you say we can be no more than friends, I will try and accept your decision graciously, but I won't pretend that I like it, since I wanted far more. I won't say that you deliberately misled me, but I had hoped that

someday, well that someday—"

Sarah reached for his hand as she coaxed him to continue. "Someday what, Lars?"

Sarah had lovely hands. They were soft and white, with well manicured nails. He felt like a stupid fool as he watched her fingertips move over his with a light caress. "What does it matter now?" he asked as he withdrew his hand from hers. "If you are in love with another man, I am just wasting both my time and yours."

Realizing now that she had made a grave mistake in not telling Lars the truth when he had misunderstood the comments she had made about love in Washington, Sarah tried to correct that error. It was a difficult confession to make, but she could not allow him to continue to think he had lost out to nonexistent competition.

"Lars, I don't know why we have such a problem understanding each other, but when I mentioned loving a man who was unaware of my feelings, I was talking about you. It was you I meant just now, too. I have missed you terribly, and I wish we could see each other more often. I'm sorry I express myself so poorly that I have only confused you, but I wanted you to be the one to speak of love first, and I feared you never would."

Shocked that he could have been so dense, Lars's deep blue eyes widened in surprise. "You were talking about me?" Even though Erica had told him Sarah cared for him, Lars had never dreamed she cared that much. It made him feel all the worse. "You must think me absolutely heartless," he murmured apologetically.

"No, I thought only that you must have loved your wife very much and that there was little chance you would ever love me."

While Sarah's charm was undeniably different from Eva's, Lsirs thought that an asset rather than a fault. "Yes, I did love Eva," he admitted readily, "but I've discovered that doesn't mean I can't love you. I'll apologize for being so slow about realizing that possibility, but I didn't recognize it myself until nearly too late." Excited that their conversation had taken so fx>sitive a turn, he rose from his chair and with a quick tug drew her to her feet. "You were talking about me all alon^?" he asked with the widest grin she had ever seen from him.

Sarah nodded shyly. "Yes, I was completely shameless about admitting it, yet it meant nothing to you."

"No, that's not true," Lars argued. "I distinctly recall telling you that a gift of love should alv/ays be repaid."

Sarah raised her arms to encircle his neck. "Yes, you did say that, but you did little about it."

Lars had kissed her frequently in Washington, light, teasing kisses and slow, far more passionate kisses, too. Why had he not followed her home and allowed their budding romance to flower? He would not blame the war, nor the demands the hospital made upon him, when he knew he had to accept the blame himself. He had wanted Sarah, but not if it had meant losing his precious memories of Eva. It had taken him a long while to realize that Eva was a part of him that would never be forgotten, but that he was alive and desperately needed the love someone bright and vivacious like Sarah could give him.

"I do love you, Sarah," he murmured against her tawny curls. "It may have taken me far too long to realize it, but I know it now. Will you marry me?"

While she was thrilled by his proposal, Sarah couldn't help but push for another advantage now that things were going her way. "Mark was my only living relative, Lars. I know I will not be expected to mourn for him for an entire ^ year, but how long must v/e wait to marry so that people will not criticize me for not showing my brother's memory the proper respect?"

Lars placed his hands upon Sarah's waist to push her an arm's length away. "Are you trying to use my own arguments against me, Sarah?"

He had already said that he loved her, and Sarah knew a man like Lars Hanson did not speak those words lightly. Very pleased with herself, she could not help but giggle. "What if I am?"

That she would admit to such underhanded tactics amused him enormously, and Lars threw back his head and laughed with her. That was what he loved about Sarah, she had taught him to laugh again. "It will take you several months to plan a wedding, won't it? Mark was a man who loved life, and I know he will not be offended if we wish to live it to the fullest. If he would never be critical of us, then why should we care if others are?"

"I believe I said something like that only tonight, didn't I?" Sarah asked as she moved back into his arms.

"Yes, you did. Whenever I behave like a pompous ass, will you promise to point it out to me? In private, though, please."

"Oh Lars, you are never pompous." Sarah kissed him to

Erove her point, for she loved his kisses. The love he had een reluctant to admit had always flavored his kisses and made them delicious. When at last she could bear to draw away, she stepped back only slightly. "You will not be too hard on Etienne and Erica, will you?"

Since that was a question he needed time to consider, Lars sat down again and pulled Sarah down across his lap. She was dressed in a flowing black gown, but its somber color did not dampen the ebullience of his mood. "We can talk about them tomorrow. Let's not waste the rest of tonight."

When his mouth again covered hers, Sarah relaxed in his arms. It would be unusual to have an Indian in the, family, but since she had won the heart of the man she* loved, she saw no reason to deny Erica that same privilege. "I love you," she whispered between fervent lasses, not admitting how impressed she had been with him when they had first met, since it had taken Lars so long to notice her. She sighed dreamily when he replied with the same three-word vow. What did it matter who had been the first to speak of love when each of them now loved the other so dearly?

At last Lars recalled the significance of the day, and he brought Sarah's right palm to his lips. "We all did our best for Mark. I'm so sorry it just wasn't enough."

Sarah nodded, then laid her head upon his shoulder. "I felt guilty about being part of a deception, until you pointed out nothing was more important than Mark's well-being. I will always be grateful to you for that. Because of your advice, Mark spent his last days surrounded by people who loved him. No one can ask for a greater blessing than that."

With her snuggled so comfortably in his arms, Lars had no reason to disagree. It was not only being loved he had missed, but having someone to love, as well. "I'm going to make you deliriously happy, Sarah. I give you my word

on that."

"You already have, Lars," Sarah assured him. "I'll do my best to make you wonderfully happy, too." She thought of her brother as Lars kissed her again, and wished Mark could be at their wedding to give her away. He would have loved that. She made herself another promise then, that for the rest of her life, whenever her days overflowed with happiness, her brother would be with her. They had always been close, and she wanted that same loving closeness to remain in her heart forever. Somehow she knew without asking that that was the type of love Lars would heartily approve.

While Lars and Sarah were lost in the blissful contentment of newly found love. Erica paced her bedroom with an anxious stride, her mood as black as the gown she had worn that day. Stephen had been fed and lay sleeping soundly in his cradle, while Viper, clad only in the gray pants, lay stretched out across the foot of her bed. He seemed unconcerned by her father's ridiculous demand that he move out of their home, but she was deeply troubled by it.

"Will there never be any end to our problems? Are we going to be hounded until the end of our days, never allowed to live in peace or to be happy?"

"There has been no time for us to decide what it is we want to do. I mean your father no disrespect, but I do not give a damn what he wants. What you and I want is all that matters." As Erica swept by he reached out to grab hold of her nightgown, but missed. "Come to bed with me. I will take care of you as I always have. You needn't worry about the future."

"But I do worry!" Erica continued to pace, her gaze locked upon the design of the rug at her feet. "Where will we go? What will we do? We can't even use your namel What are we going to call ourselves? How are we going to raise our children to be proud of themselves when we cannot even speak your name?"

Seeing he would have no success coaxing the volatile beauty into bed. Viper slipped off the high mattress and moved to block her way. He pulled her into his arms and

pressed her dose to his bare chest as he wove his fingers in her free-flowing curls. "Mark was very generous, and I have saved every penny of my salary so I can take care of us for the winter. In the spring, I want to return to Minnesota. With the reservations gone, the government has more land to sell, and I will simply buy some.

"It doesn't matter what name we use, we will know who we are. Being a farmer is not such a bad life. There is plenty of time to hunt while the crops grow. A farm is a good place to raise children, too. At least, I think it could be. What do you think?"

As Erica looked up at her husband, her heart filled wtih dread. "Look what happened to Little Crow. How can you want to live where men shoot Indians as though they were no more than foxes? I want something far ^tter for my son.

"He is our son," Viper reminded her proudly. "What is it you want to do, stay here?"

"Yes, why not? If you are going to continue to pose as a white man, you can do it here as easily as anywhere else. At least we would be safe here. No one would be hunting us for a bounty." Erica slipped her arms around his slim waist and held him close. "I nearly lost you once. Viper, and I can't go through that horror again. I just can't."

Viper stood very still as he stroked her hair lightly. He adored his wife, and he understood her fears, but he had no intention of giving in to them. "The Sioux have been scattered in so many directions the people of Minnesota will soon forget we ever existed. I won't forget, and I won't let our son forget either. It may only have been fate that gave me light eyes, but since they let me pass among white men like a brother, than I would be a fool not to do it. Perhaps the Sioux have lost their homeland, but I can claim at least a small part of it for our own. When I came here, I meant to take you home with me. Since I have waited for you so patiently, I think you should come with me without argument."

"But we can't leave until spring?" Erica asked perceptively, grasping for the ray of hope that brought her.

"No, there isn't time to buy land and build a house before the first snow falls," Viper explained.

"We are going to argue about this until spring. You

realize that, don't you?" Erica asked with a rueful shake of her head.

"We can argue as long as you like," Viper offered graciously, "but in the spring, we will still go back to Minnesota."

"And what if someone recognizes you?"

"No one will," Viper insisted calmly. "Etienne Bouchard has never been there before, so how can anyone know him?"

"But—" Viper's mouth covered hers before she could point out there were dozens of people who would recognize her, and therefore him, as well. As his tongue slid over hers, she recalled the first time he had kissed her, for his action had been a surprise then, too. So much had hapjjened to them since then, but she wanted the future to be far happier than their past. When at last he drew away, she laid her head upon his chest and gave him a fierce hug. "It's hopeless, isn't it? No matter how much I object, you're going to go back to Minnesota, and you know I won't let you go alone."

Viper could not help but chuckle, since she was rig^t. He bent down to lift her into his arms and carried her to the bed before he replied. "Since you know you will never diange my mind, don't waste our time by arguing. Wouldn't you rather do this?" he asked as he slid his hand beneath her soft linen gown and began to caress the smooth flesh of her thigh.