Tending Roses (26 page)

“It’s all right, Grandma,” I said, trying to settle her down before she and Aunt Jeane got entangled again. The truth was that everyone was on edge about Karen’s arrival, including me. I supposed my father’s sudden desire to commune with the farm was his way of escaping the tension.

Aunt Jeane was jittery despite the fact that Karen wasn’t due for hours. She had less than her normal level of patience with Grandma’s complaining, bossing, and worrying. Grandma was doing her part by complaining, bossing, and worrying more than usual, because she wanted things to be perfect for Karen’s arrival. It was like cooking in the center of a mine field. My mind was racing so fast that I kept reading recipe cards and forgetting what I had read before I could put the ingredients together. I gave up and took over washing the stack of bowls and pots that had accumulated in the sink.

Grandma finished torturing the apples and moved to her Hoosier cabinet to work out her frustration on a ball of bread dough. Turning her head to one side, she listened to the radio for weather reports, her hands slowly falling into a sedate rhythm, the pinched, worried expression fading from her face. She stared out the window as if her thoughts were drifting away. Watching her, I wondered how many years of her life she had spent in exactly the same way. It must have felt very right to her, to be standing at that ancient breadboard, waiting for the family to come home.

She drew a breath finally. “Karen and James should make it in before the snow. They can come to church with us and help prepare the meals.”

Aunt Jeane slapped a spatula against the side of the mixing bowl, and it rang through the kitchen like a Chinese gong. “Mother, will you stop going on about snow? It’s clear as a bell outside, and they’ve been saying all day that all the storms are north of here. Karen and James will be ready for some rest when they get here. They will have had a long day of travel. Kate and I can go to the church and help you.”

Grandma raised her chin and turned slowly back to her work. “That weatherman doesn’t know his business. My ankles have been predicting snow for sixty years longer than he’s been on this earth. And I’ve already promised that the lot of us would be helping with the meals at church.”

Aunt Jeane rang the bowl again. “Oh, Mother, for goodness’ sake, I . . .” She fell silent, staring at the hallway door. “Karen! My goodness, where did you come from? We weren’t expecting you for another two hours!” Dropping the spoon, she ran to the door, arms outstretched.

I stood paralyzed for a moment, watching Aunt Jeane hug Karen and James, then watching Grandma hurry over to do the same with tears spilling over her cheeks.

Standing silently by the sink, I watched Grandma take my sister’s face in her hands and step back to look at her. The past six years had changed Karen more than I had expected. Her hair, which had always been highlighted, was dark now, and pulled neatly into a silver clip in the back. Her face had aged, but she was still beautiful, tall and slim, perfectly dressed in black-check slacks and a red jacket. She looked like my mother.

I was not prepared for the resemblance. Watching her stand in the doorway of the old kitchen with my grandmother was like stepping back in time. My stomach constricted and rose into my throat, and my head swirled with a sudden sense of vertigo. Gripping the counter, I closed my eyes and waited for it to pass.

When it did, Grandma was releasing Karen. I came forward quickly, not wanting her to think I was being standoffish. My mind went blank, and I could not remember what I had planned to say to her.

“Welcome home,” I heard myself say. Then I hugged her quickly, not knowing how she felt about me or whether she wanted my affection. “We didn’t think you would be here until this afternoon.”

She cocked her head, as if she were wondering what I meant. “The airline was able to get us on an earlier flight. They’re having a lot of snow north of here, and we didn’t want to get caught in it.” She winked at James. “Sometimes it pays to be married to a pilot.”

James smiled at me, and I shook his hand as I would have any stranger’s. We had met only twice—at their wedding and at Mother’s funeral. He was an athletic-looking man, about forty now, with salt-and-pepper hair that reminded me of my father’s. His manner, too, was dignified and formal like Dad’s. They probably would have liked each other if Karen had ever allowed them to socialize.

“It’s good to see you again, Kate,” he said. “All the Christmas decorations look nice.”

I nodded, glad to have something neutral to talk about. “I have to give Ben most of the credit. He scavenged the lights and the gingerbread man display from the church leftovers. He wanted to make sure Josh had a memorable first Christmas.”

The subject didn’t stay neutral for long. Karen glanced around the kitchen, frowning. “Where’s Dad? Did he decide not to come, after all?” She looked as if she were hoping I would say yes.

“He’s here.” I watched for her reaction. “He went out for a walk an hour or so ago.”

She raised a brow incredulously. “
Dad
went out for a walk?”

The need to defend him came over me, I did not know why. “He would have been back if he’d known you would be here so early. He really was anxious to see you.”

She stiffened. “I’m sure he was,” she said sarcastically, then glanced at Aunt Jeane and snapped her lips closed.

I wondered if Aunt Jeane had warned her not to start a war in front of Grandma. Even so, I was surprised by Karen’s restraint. Normally, she said what was on her mind no matter who it would hurt.

“Would you two like some coffee?” Aunt Jeane asked. “How about a sugar cookie? I’ll bet you’re exhausted after the trip.”

Karen gave Aunt Jeane a smile of genuine affection. “Oh, this is nothing for us. James and I both travel so much, we don’t know what to do when we’re home. I just got back from Norfolk. It looks like Lansing Technology is going to sew up a megadeal on the East Coast. My team will be designing the networks, so I’ll be back and forth to Norfolk for six months or more, but there’s a big bonus in it and . . .”

I tuned out Karen’s boasting and hurried to beat Aunt Jeane to the coffeemaker. I wasn’t interested in being stranded at the table during one of Karen’s I’m-an-important-person-and-I-just-got-a-big-raise speeches.

Elbowing Aunt Jeane out of the way, I said, “I’ll get it. Go sit down.”

She gave me a look of disappointment. I wasn’t sure if she was disappointed in me, or in the fact that she would have to sit and listen to Karen. Grandma, meanwhile, was smiling and nodding blankly, as if Karen were speaking in Martian.

Karen was describing the megadeal and I was serving the coffee when my father came in the back door.

He gave Karen a quick look of surprise, then stepped forward and patted her on the shoulder. She did not stand up to greet or hug him. Strangely, I felt sorry for Dad.

“Hello, Karen,” he said. “Did you have a good trip?”

“We did,” she said. “I was just telling Grandma about the network bid my team just finished in Norfolk.” And so she began the story again for Dad’s benefit.

Dad took a seat and seemed genuinely impressed. Watching him from the corner of my eye, I felt a twinge of envy. My life was a waste, but Karen’s was fascinating conversation. His face was alight with interest and something that looked like fatherly pride. He wasn’t advising her to get a better job or calling up his acquaintances to help her get in with a “real employer.”

A faint thud came from the living room, reminding me that Joshua and Dell were there. No one else seemed to notice the noise, so I slipped out the door without saying anything. Safe in the hallway, I paused to take a deep breath, shaking my old insecurities from my mind. Karen and I were not in competition. We were two different people. She had her life. I had mine. She had her kind of success. I had mine.

And God bless us, every one. It
was
the season of goodwill, after all.

Dell was rescuing Joshua from the floor as I walked in. “He bumped his head on the floor,” she said, grimacing as if she were afraid I would be angry with her. “But he rolled over all by himself two times.”

Squatting beside her, I inspected the red spot on Joshua’s head. “Oh, that’s not too bad,” I said, then jiggled Josh and won a smile. “And what do you mean, rolling over when Mommy’s not here to see it?”

Dell giggled, arranging Joshua’s quilt on the floor. “He might do it again.” She rolled Josh onto his back, then teased him with a toy. “Com’ere, Josh, get the toy.”

Joshua wormed to one side, then the other, once, twice, three times, then flopped onto his stomach and braced his arms in front of himself, laughing.

Thunderous applause came from the doorway, and I turned to see Ben and the rest of the family gathered there.

“You’re just in time,” I told Ben. “He has a new trick.” Dell set Josh up again, and like a little performer, he repeated his trick, then squealed with glee, bouncing up and down and waiting for more cheers. Laughing, I sat him up and turned him toward the crowd. Ben, Dad, and Aunt Jeane were beaming. Grandma had tears in her eyes.

It was an accomplishment with which no corporate megadeal could compare.

Karen squeezed past Aunt Jeane and hurried to us with surprising enthusiasm, kneeling on the floor in front of Joshua. “Oh, Kate, he’s beautiful,” she whispered, stretching out a single finger as if she were afraid to touch him. “Hi, pretty boy. I’m Aunt Karen.”

Joshua extended a tiny hand and clung to her outstretched finger. Karen smiled nervously, uncertain of what to do next.

“He’s really adorable,” she said, but the expression on her face wasn’t one of admiration. It was a strange look I couldn’t quite read.

Joshua squealed and gurgled, then grasped Karen’s hand with his other fist, trying to scoot toward her.

“You’re cute,” she said, smiling at him. “You look like your dad.”

“Want to hold him?” I asked, because Joshua was trying his best to get to her. “I think he likes you.”

Karen shook her head, gently pulling her hand away and standing up. “I’d better not.” She straightened her jacket. “Silk suit.”

“Oh,” I muttered, picking Joshua up, trying not to look insulted and telling myself I was stupid for feeling that way. It was a mother thing, I supposed.

In the doorway, Grandma clapped her hands together. “Well, we’d best get a-going here and get Karen and James’s things brought in. As soon as these pies are done, we must be off for church to help package up the meals. Karen, you might want to change out of that fancy suit.” She turned and started down the hall, still talking. “It’s bound to be a mess at the church once everyone arrives with their food.”

Karen looked at me and then at Aunt Jeane. “What is she talking about?” she whispered.

Aunt Jeane sighed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, Karen, don’t worry about it. You and James bring in your bags and relax. I told her Kate and I would take her and the pies to the church and help package the meals. She wasn’t supposed to bother you about it.”

Karen and James exchanged quick glances of relief. Karen winced apologetically at Aunt Jeane. “I just don’t think we’re up for an activity right now, and . . . I really need to check my . . . voice-mail messages.”

Aunt Jeane wrapped an arm around Karen’s shoulders and guided her toward the door. “That’s fine. You two enjoy the afternoon and rest.”

Ben cleared his throat, rubbing his hands in front of himself. “Well, Uncle Robert, Josh, and I have a date with a football game. We’ve done our duty. We’ve been baking turkeys at the church since six o’clock this morning.” He stopped beside me and took Josh, who was reaching toward him and babbling happily. Making monkey faces and goo-goo sounds at Josh, he proceeded past me into the living room and sank onto the couch with Uncle Robert following happily in his wake. My father joined them, and everyone else turned to disperse.

Dell got up and stood between me and Aunt Jeane, looking confused as to what to do; then she scurried past me toward the kitchen. Ben turned on the TV and Karen started toward the door with James in tow.

“Now, hold it!” I heard myself say, sounding venomous. Joshua jerked in Ben’s arms, looking at me wide-eyed with his mouth open.

Everyone else turned and did the same, as if they couldn’t imagine what I would say.

“I can’t believe you people, especially you, Ben.” My mouth rushed ahead of my brain, and I heard my words echo down the hall. Taking a deep breath, I added more calmly, “You know how much Grandma is counting on all of us being there this afternoon.”

My father stiffened and cleared his throat. “Calm down, Kate. You’re getting worked up about something pretty unimportant here.”

Ben nodded in agreement, looking vindicated. “It’s not that big of a deal, Kate. The turkeys are already cooked and sliced. I’ve done my civic duty. Josh and I were going to do some guy stuff here.” Josh looked at his father and squealed, bouncing up and down as if in agreement.

“I’m sure Grandma has church members lined up to help,” Karen chimed in.

Aunt Jeane nodded and started to say something, but I beat her to it.

“It
is
a big deal!” I heard my voice echo down the hall again, even as I wondered why I was getting into a red-faced fit. The fact was that the Christmas meals would get made with or without my family. “It’s a great big door-die deal, and if everyone doesn’t go, she’ll be upset all day, and we’ll hear about it for—”

“Kaaaaaa-teeee?” Grandma’s voice drifted from the kitchen like the shriek of a crow. I realized she’d probably heard me yelling. “Stop that kibitzing and come help me with these pies. It isn’t good to complain about doing the Lord’s work. I don’t hear anyone else in there complaining.”

Mouth hanging open, I coughed indignantly, looking toward the door.

Ben cleared his throat to hide a chuckle, and Karen rubbed her lips to conceal a smile. Even my father raised his newspaper to hide his face. Finally Aunt Jeane burst out laughing, and everyone in the room joined in. Before I knew it, I was laughing with them, and Joshua was bouncing and squealing in Ben’s arms. It felt good, all of it. At least until the general hollered from the kitchen again and spurred the troops into action.