R
ose was in full work gear when the loud purr of an engine signaled someone was heading down their drive. She poked her head out of the barn door then swung back into the shadows.
Zane.
“Oh, for goodness' sake!” she muttered.
When she'd talked to Ashby, she'd just thought he'd invaded her spaceâ¦but in these short few days the man was
everywhere!
He had truly taken over her life and didn't even know it. He was all Max talked about, all the town talked aboutâMr. Good Samaritan in the flesh! But that wasn't the worst part. He was all she thought aboutâand not in a good way. Well, not exactly in a good way. How could she still be so attracted to a man who had treated her so badly? It was upsetting. From the window of the dress store she saw him coming and going up and down Main Street and there was just no denying that she found herself watching for him. It was humiliating.
And then there was Ashby reminding her she needed to get on her knees! Give him another chance.
How could her friends so easily take Zane's side anyway?
She knew what it was. It was the same reason she'd so readily given her trust over to the man in the first place. He looked the part. He was the living, breathing epitome of a heroic Texas Ranger. Those strong, weathered features, those straight, almost black eyebrows over his beautiful eyes. Eyes that were so sharp they seemed to look right through you. Not to mention he was as tall and sturdy-looking as an oak. She rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath, trying to calm the agitation strumming through her. It was all physicalâ¦this attraction. She'd learned what substance she'd believed he had wasn't really there. So how could she still feel drawn to the man? God was punishing her for her weakness. It was the only thing she could figure out. So be it. It bothered her no end that he was the only man she'd ever encountered who affected her so profoundly.
She breathed in slowly and with no other alternative she made her feet move and walk her out of the barn to stand beside Maxâwho was beaming like Las Vegas neon.
“Look, Mom, I invited Dad to help us today. Isn't that great?”
Dad
âwhere had that come from? Max had given over to this so quickly it was heart-wrenching. “Sure,” she managed, stilling her emotions, her gaze drawn to the truck just as Zane stepped to the ground and closed the door. To her dismay, he smiled, and her heart did that aggravating free fall. She scowled at him, racked with frustration at her reaction to him and the fact that he was here in her yard.
In her life.
To see his son.
The little voice of reason reprimanded her and she closed her eyes for a second. He was here for Max. And for Max's sake, she could rein in her emotions and at least try to be civil.
“Mom's got on her tuna-picking clothes,” Max stated as soon as Zane reached them.
True, dressed like she was, she looked like the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but she was at a loss as to why Max would feel he needed to explain her appearance to Zane. She tried not to appear as if it bothered her too much but her brow lifted of its own accord when she looked at him.
He gave her a teasing grin while at the same time taking in her outfit with open confusion. “You think you have
tuna
in your pond?”
Max snorted with laughter. “No, Dad. Tuna is what the prickly pear fruit is called.”
“Seriously?” Zane asked.
“Yeahâweird but true,” Max informed him. “The botanical name means American Indian fig. Orâ” he shrugged “âtuna, as it is most commonly called.”
Zane looked impressed. “You know your stuff.”
Unexpectedly, Rose's heart warmed at the way Zane looked at their son.
Max beamed in her direction. “Mom taught me everything I know. Even how to dress when I pick the tuna.”
She'd almost forgotten how ridiculous she looked with her gear on until Zane let his gaze scan over her.
“So is
this
how you dress?” he asked.
“Yes. It's for protection,” she snapped, tugging at her bandana and all too aware of her goggles.
“Well, I'm relieved.” Zane looked back at Max. “For a minute there, with those goggles on, I figured she
might be going for a swim in the pond looking for those tunas.”
Max hooted. “
Mom
wouldn't swim in the pond for a million bucks! The goggles are to protect her eyes from the prickly pear's stickers. She makes me wear them, tooâif I don't, then I can't be a partner.”
“Is that so?” Zane asked, laughing huskily.
The sound was disconcerting in an all-too-familiar way that sent her pulse skittering.
“Your mom sounds like a smart woman,” Zane said, his eyes warm.
“Well, boys,” Rose said, snapping herself out of her unbelievable lapse in judgment. She gave Zane a chilly glare. “This
smart
woman has work to do.” And she did! “You two have fun, or whatever.” She stepped back and Zane smiled, as if he knew what she was thinking. “Um, I'll be out there,” she said, and tore her eyes away from him.
Shoulders back, she made herself walk calmly across the yard and into the cactus field. Why had he been looking at her like that? Why had she so easily responded to it? It was humiliating. It really was.
Hidden from view by a large cactus, she jerked her goggles over her eyes. She wanted to scream with frustration, but that wouldn't do at all. Instead she went to work.
Max's laughter drifted to her. Despite herself she looked in his direction. Her chest tightened and tears sprang to her eyes, blurring her vision. She didn't know if the tears were because of seeing Max with his dad and enjoying himself or if it was because she was getting a glimpse of how things could have been for them. How she'd first dreamed of life with Zaneâ¦How they could have been as a family.
Or maybe she was crying because looking at Zane just made her
crazy
frustrated, and so angry she wanted to scream!
“Bingo,” she growled, snatching a tuna with the tongs and ripping it from its perch. The overripe fruit immediately rewarded her by splattering deep magenta mush all over her shirt and face!
Â
Max had the job of scorching the thistles off the fruit down to a fine science with the torch and tongs. When he finished he held a smooth tuna up for Zane's inspection.
“Cool, huh?” He beamed. “Now it's edible. Do you know that there were times when this was about the only thing the Indians had to eat during this season? The fields of cacti stretched for miles and all sorts of different tribes would set up camp near them.”
“I didn't realize it was that much of a food source.”
“It's some good stuff. Helps with burns, too.”
“I'm impressed, son.”
“Thanks,
Dad,
” Max said, flashing a Cantrell smile before turning serious. “I'm going to make a success of this. Me and
Mom.
”
Zane nodded, not sure how to take Max's clear flag that there was a solidarity that he shared with his mom that he could never share with him. It wasn't a good feeling, even though he was still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that this was his son. He'd come to Mule Hollow to try to see if there could be any hope of a life with Rose and now Max was in the picture, too. All these years she'd kept him away from this amazing kid. A kid who, if Zane understood right, had just let it be known that to have a real, lasting relationship with him would require Zane to get along
with Rose. A tall order after what she'd doneâthe fact that he'd just carried on an almost flirtatious conversation with her was startling.
“So, you and my mom must have really liked each other?”
Zane wasn't sure where the conversation was heading and tried to hide some of his surprise. But even with the goggles Max wore, his piercing scrutiny dug deep.
Zane glanced toward Rose, half hidden from view as she plucked the fruit from the cactus. His gut tightened. Despite the distance he saw anger in the force with which she was working. After all the deceit, he didn't know what he was feeling for her, but he knew the only answer he could give Max was an honest one.
“Yes, I liked your mother very much. I thought she was the bravest, most honorable young woman I'd ever met.”
Thought.
Max laid his torch down, tugged his goggles up to rest on his forehead. “You aren't going to hold this against her, are you?”
Fatherly pride swelled through Zane. Max was a young man who seemed to meet challenge head-on. And, as torn as he was with what was going on inside of him where Rose was concerned, Zane knew this trait came from the way she'd raised Max.
“She only did what she thought was right,” Max continued. “She said you left the day after someone tried to kill her. Why'd you do that? You ran out on her when she needed you most.”
Zane fought the urge to loosen his collarâa collar that was already unbuttoned. The kid had guts. “You're right. I messed up. I never planned on what
happened between us. I'm not proud of what I did.” The fact that his first serious conversation with his son was
this
topic was punishment in and of itself for past sins. How did he talk about this?
“Look, I'm still a kid to most people. But most folks don't realize everything me and Mom have been through. My mom has always been up front with me early on about how important it is to wait for the right person,
marry
her and experience things the way God intended it to be.”
Zane was successfully chastised. But Max wasn't through with him.
“And,” he continued, “now that I know the truth about myself, I get it more than ever why Mom was so straight with me. She didn't want me messing up like she did. She doesn't want me messing up some girl's life and leaving her like you left Mom.”
Shame settled in the pit of Zane's gut. He'd felt it and guilt over the years about letting his relationship with Rose get personal. But never had he felt it so acutely. The fact that he hadn't known she was expecting his child didn't matter. The fact was as her protector and as the man who'd cared for her, he'd let her down in every sense of the word, so he kept silent now. His son deserved to have his say.
“You ran out on her. That was pretty heartless. You're a Texas Ranger. You're supposed to be a
real
man. And my mom taught me that a real man stands up for his responsibility.”
Talk about laying it out there! Zane felt like he was the kid and Max the father. “I left because I put your mom at risk. I blamed myself for almost losing her. I was distracted by my feelings for her when the shooter came after her. I should have seen him, sensed him
long before I did. I left because I didn't want to take the chance that it would happen again.”
His gut twisted even now, thinking back to the moment he'd realized Rose had gone outside the safe house. The fact that she'd disobeyed his direct order was not consolation to him. If he'd kept his distance like he'd been trained to do, Rose wouldn't have considered going against him. No one ever had before. But he'd let her see a personal side of him, and because of that she'd felt too comfortable and not taken him seriously. The result had been costly. “My job was to keep her safeâno matter what it cost me personally. That meant no matter what I felt for her, if I didn't feel like I was doing my job, then I had to give it up. And that's what I did. Can you, as a man, understand where I'm coming from?” He rubbed his hip as a dull ache radiated through it.
The ache and the remembrance of Rose's brush with death had him thinking about his recent assignmentâ¦the one that had brought him on this journey at last. He'd almost lost that witness, too. Almost given his life to protect a small-time thug who'd gone state's evidence against a money-laundering ring. Zane's keen sense of awareness had been what saved the man's life. Zane had already sprang into action before the car busted through the barriers blocking the street. That hadn't been the case with Rose's ambush. That she'd survived the shooting had purely been an act of God and nothing that had to do with him protecting her. He'd not been able to forgive himself for thatâif she'd been killedâ¦he couldn't even think about that possibility.
“Sometimes a man has to make sacrifices in order to pay for his mistakes.”
Time stretched between them while Max considered his words. “Yes, sir,” he said at last. “I think I get it. But you could have told her goodbye. She might not be so mad at you if you'd told her goodbye. And⦔ He took a long breath. “And she might have gotten in touch with you later and told you about me.”
There was only so much about his relationship with Rose that Zane cared to talk to Max about. Some was too deep and just too personal. A nod would have to suffice. He couldn't tell Max that he'd been afraid of waiting until morning. That if he'd tried to tell her goodbye he might not have been strong enough to walk away. It was his sworn duty to keep her safe, not to take advantage of her fragile emotional state. Which was what he'd done.