That Which Destroys Me (11 page)

“Have you thought about… Have you wanted to cut, Stell?”

I answer as honestly as I can, “If I have I quickly reminded myself that I’m not a coward. And THAT is the easy way out. I’m just fine on the path I’m on right now.”

“I love you, you’re like a sister me. I just don’t want you in hell all alone.” She looks at my pleadingly, and I can’t help the sinister laugh that escapes my chest.

“Sweetie, you couldn’t handle my hell. You just stay where you are, stay honest and pure, stay beautiful and untainted. Smile for the photogs and do your damn thing girl. Because
THAT
makes me happy. Too see you happy, makes me happy, Eve. Understand?”

She nods before hugging my neck. “Here, your bed is drenched in sweat again. I’ll throw these in the wash and be back to help you make your bed up.”

“Okay. Hey, I didn’t wake anyone else up did I?” I ask.

“No, Bo is still passed out from drinking too much during the Jets pre-season game. Trina’s still in her room asleep.”

“Whew, okay good. Thanks sissy.”

After she helps me get my bed made I lie awake looking at my ceiling until the sun rises the next morning. My thoughts are all over the place. Wesley, I don’t know what the hell is going on between me and him.

It’s hard as hell for me to deny him anything he wants. And, Jesus Christmas I love to make him proud, or happy. Shit I get butterflies just from making him smile! The ‘good job.’ Or ‘damn you’re a quick learner.’’s I get from him make me smile like a damn love struck fool.

From the moment his hand circled my elbow at Chained and he lead me to his car I’d let any and all reservations I previously had where Wesley Jacobs was concerned just float away. Well, except for when he sat back like the devil and refused to give my body what it was dying for. But even then I was far too intrigued by him to not play the devil’s advocate.

If I may… Without sounding to cliché, just fucking listen to me. Woman to woman. Friend to friend. I’ve never allowed myself to even be interested enough in a man to do more than kiss me. I am a twenty-six year old, red blooded American woman who LOVES reading smut, reading how the characters feel, not just emotionally but physically. And when I had to walk away from Wes’s penthouse that night, it fucking hit me like a mack truck! Goddammit I am starved… For him, for his touch, his words, his smile.

Now, with that little epiphany comes the question. Am I ready as well as strong enough to try to do what Wesley wants me to?

Umm… Fuck yes.

And before you ask if I’ll be able to make it through, even if it does end badly and I’m left heart broken, your answer lies within the following statement: Bitch have you not been reading? This, Wesley fucking Jacobs is an ice cream sundae compared to savage and violent hell I’ve lived in, been forced to endure, and made it out of alive.

“Oh my fuck, seriously? Jiminy Crickets it’s a damn date, bitches. Not my wedding day!” I am literally being tagged teamed with makeup, high heels, and perfume by Trina and Eve.

“Stell, please at least try the eyelashes. I will glue those bitches on so tight it will take a month for them to come off!” Eve’s coming at me again with glue and lashes.

“Hell no!” I shoo her away and look up at Trina through the mirror, she’s holding up a black sleeveless dress and a nude satin number with a plunging neckline. “Ahh… Nude?” I ask with a shrug.

“God-fucking-damn straight nude! Eve! Shit! Stop!” Trina yanks the glue and lash compact from her hands and tosses them in the trash.

Trina hands Eve our two glasses of wine. “Here, go fill those fuckers up.” She kisses the air before telling Eve, “You know I love you! Right?”

“You only love me when I’m being your wine bitch.” Eve mutters on her way towards the kitchen.

“Stell! Okay, so where are you at with this guy? I mean I know about your date last night. Or dinner, what the fuck ever. But… Here’s my question.” She holds up a pair of black fuck me stilettos in one hand and a pair of brown wedges in her other. “Shoes? Your answer will answer mine.”

“Going with the black ones, sister.”

Trina squeals and jumps up and down like a damn fan-girl screaming, “Hell YES! That’s my girl!”

After I’m dressed in the nude dress with its pencil skirt hitting just below my knees, as well as the plunging neck line—That required double sided tape. I stand in my six-inch black peep-toe stilettos holding my clutch on the curb at 7:40 waiting for Wesley to show up.

A shiny black sports car I’ve never seen before pulls up to the curb outside my place and before I notice it’s him he’s out of the car opening the passenger door for me.

“Fucking hell, Ms. Reese. How in God’s name do you expect me to make it through dinner without slamming you up against the nearest stable surface with
THAT
dress on?” He growls through his gritted teeth.

“You’ll make it, well… Maybe you will.” I grin before slipping into the low seat and sighing in anticipation.

I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I don’t know how to flirt, or be funny without it sounding completely ridiculous and forced.

I don’t know what this night holds in store for me, nor do I know what Wesley has planned.

But what I do know… Is that I’m ready.

I’ve been fighting to stay alive, remain sane and in control for as long as I can remember. And tonight, whatever lies ahead. I refuse to fight it. As I stare outside the window, a quote I read at some point in my childhood that has always stayed with me, strikes me with a new meaning…

Chapter 13

And So the Lion Fell For The Lamb

She said I’ll make it. I almost lost my shit with that spoken absurdity! If she had any… ANY goddamn idea how close I came to abducting her sexy ass last night, ‘You’ll make it,’ would not be her choice of words.

NO! No. Do not ask me if I returned like a stalker last night and watched her building. And no. Don’t ask if I checked and in return found her building’s door, locks and security being so inadequate, I actually *coughs* pushed the process of acquiring said real estate.

Hey. Don’t judge me.

I stop the Lotus in the valet line, pull the emergency break up, and step from my car, tossing the keys to the valet guy before I rush over to open Stella’s door.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here…You like Italian food?” She laughs while looping her arm in my crooked elbow.

“Yes, I guess you can say that.” I chuckle leading her through the stained glass doors to Antonino’s Italiano Cuisine.

Stella and I are sat in a secluded area I reserved for us last Monday. I immediately spew our order in Italian to the waiter to get it over with and supply us with some privacy for the inquisition I have planned for Ms. Reese.

“What in God’s name did you just order?” Her giggle sounds like music to my ears - which is quite odd because I hate it when women giggle. I’ve always found it irritating and childish. That’s not the case with Stella, though.

I lean towards her until my mouth is next to her ear, “I promise you’ll enjoy it, my Stella.” I whisper before sucking her earlobe into my mouth and grazing it with my teeth, causing her to shudder.

“I thought about a lot of things last night after I dropped you off.  Mostly thoughts based on you. More specifically: where, when, and how I will acquire you. Do you understand?”

After she ducks her head I watch a faint blush creep up from the low neckline of her dress and over the top swells of her breasts. HARD. My cock is hard enough to drive nails because of that blush.

“I thought a lot about you as well, Wesley. More than I am willing to confess. However, I can say that I’m certain whatever is happening between us, I like and I’m ready to see where it’s going.” I witness her determination as she gathers and pulls it up around her like a cloak. “To answer your question, yes, Wesley, I understand.”

Good girl.

Have I mentioned I find it downright appalling and annoying as fuck when my questions are not directly answered? If not, then you’ve been duly noted.

“I want you to stay the night with me, Stella. I want to begin this…” I motion between us before settling my hand on her bare thigh just below her skirt, “…Us, tonight. I will push so hard that you are going to want to both run to me and away from me. I’m going to twist your emotions and mind into nothing more than a cluster-fuck. If you are able to withstand my diabolical methods, if you remain a good girl and please me without pissing me off too many times, then after I fuck your mind, I’m going to fuck you—past the brink of insanity, exactly where you’ve left me waiting since I first laid eyes on you. Understood?”

She nods emphatically, “Yes. I do, I understand.”

My hand tightens on her thigh. As my other arm slides around her waist and pulls her to me, my mouth slants over hers.

Our tongues war between our teeth biting and licking one another’s mouths. I swallow her moans and mewls. When her hand moves over my raging hard on and squeezes, I feel pre-cum leak from the tip of my cock and it causes me to jerk back, looking from her swollen, pouty red lips to her ever changing hazel eyes.

My thumb pad swipes the corner of her mouth and with my other hand, I remove hers from my cock before I tsk her, “No. That is not acceptable, Ms. Reese. You. Do. Not. Touch. Only when I tell you, are you allowed to touch. Understood?”

“Yes.” Her tongue sweeps over her lips before she looks anxiously down at her clenched hands in her lap.

“Good.” My fingertips pull her chin up until our eyes meet. “Good girl. I’ll show more tolerance towards your little missteps than usual. That’s how important it is for me to own you.” I smile and lean into her lips for a quick kiss before the waiter is at our table with wine and appetizers.

“Wow.” Stella’s eyes light up at the appetizers I ordered. “This looks…Wow. I forgot to eat today, I was so excited. This looks delicious, Wes.” When she smiles at me like she is right now - like a kid on Christmas morning ready to open their first gift … over forty measly bucks worth of appetizers -  crazy shit starts happening. For one, I’m proud. My chest splits with pride knowing I made her smile that way. Then I feel an overwhelming need to protect, keep her safe and hidden from anyone or anything.

I just stare at her gobbling up calamari, fried ravioli, and stuffed mushrooms and somewhere in my awe, I fall a little more for Stella Reese.

I fall more than I’ve ever fallen in my entire life… I fall more than I ever intended on falling.

After dinner, we drive to my penthouse. We walk into my foyer and I notice Stella kick off her shoes. Around a chuckle I tell her, “Stella, leave your heels on.” Her eyes fly to mine, blinking at me for a moment before slipping her little feet back into her high heels.

“Okay.” She says quietly.

“I think we should start by you removing everything except the heels, Ms. Reese.” She balks at me and I shake my head before walking into the living room and taking a seat on my high, winged back leather chair. I lean back in the chair to rest my left foot over my right knee and steeple my fingers before narrowing my eyes on her still unmoving at the edge of the foyer.