The Academy - Forgiveness and Permission (Year One, Book Four) (13 page)

On the second floor landing, I paused outside of Marie’s door, listening. It was tempting to use the special phone app that allowed me to access the house cameras and check on her, but I bit back that temptation. It really was supposed to be only for emergencies and I didn’t want to abuse that. I’d done it enough.

I knocked softly at the door. “Marie?”

No response. I knocked a couple more times and listened. When I didn’t hear anything, I used a push pin stuck into the wall to unlock her door.

Marie’s room was dim, the shades drawn, the curtains closed. Marie was on her side in her bed, facing the wall. It was the stillness that worried me. Maybe she was sick and I didn’t even bother to check on her. For years we fended for ourselves for so much Our parents taught us to take care of ourselves. With the guys, I realized how terrible that was, but I still forgot at times.

“Marie?” I called to her.

“Go away,” she said from under the blanket.

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

I frowned. “If you’re sick, it’s okay to tell me. I could bring a doctor.”

“I’m not sick.”

“How come you haven’t been going to school?”

Marie shoved the blankets off of her and sat up. Her long brown hair fell against the blue T-shirt she wore. She looked a little pale, but otherwise she seemed fine.

Her dark eyes zeroed in on my face. “Will you get out?”

“The principal talked to me today. He’s noticed that you aren’t showing up for class.”

Marie flinched. “What?”

“He’d like to talk to you tomorrow, if you’re going to school. You’re not in trouble. He’s just worried.”

“Does he know?” she asked. She relaxed again, falling on her back and staring up at the ceiling. “Does he know about dad?”

Was that what she was worried about? That other people will know? “No. No one knows at school. Not unless you mention it. I don’t think we should.”

She sighed. “It doesn’t matter.” She rolled over, facing the wall.

“If you don’t go to school soon, the school will have to call Social Services. They’ll send someone, perhaps even the police.”

Marie didn’t answer me.

“Try to show up tomorrow,” I said softly, doing my best to sound concerned. “We’ll be okay, I think, as long as we do what we’re supposed to.”

“Go away.”

I closed her door. Maybe this was what Mr. Blackbourne meant when he said I should just remind her, but let her make her own decision. I made a mental note to myself to try to wake her tomorrow for school, and perhaps talk to her later. I didn’t understand how she could stand still. Was she depressed? I knew she wasn’t happy, she couldn’t be if she’s been hiding like this. I wasn’t sure how to bring her out of it if she was sad.

I floated downstairs while still stuck inside my head, wondering about the best way to help. I’d had Kota and the others to help me. Maybe she needed someone, too. I knew she wasn’t fond of the guys. Maybe Danielle would if she knew?

Maybe that’s what she needed. Maybe she just needed to know that someone else out there still cares for her, too. She didn’t trust me or didn’t want to, for whatever reason. I couldn’t imagine how alone she must be feeling right now.

Downstairs, Luke was sprawled out on the family room floor in front of the television. Nathan was on one end of the couch, fiddling with the remote and surfing channels. Kota was on the other end of the couch, shifting through the mail, opening up bills and organizing.

Luke sat up when I came into the room. “How’d it go?”

“Terrible,” I said. I dropped to my knees, and fell sideways until I was against the carpet, glancing over at them. “I think she’s depressed.”

“Her mother is in the hospital,” Kota said without looking up from a piece of mail. “And her father’s disappeared to live with another family. I can sympathize. She still needs to get up and go to school.”

“I think she needs a friend,” I said.

Kota put the bill down, looking at me on the floor. “Did you ask her to go to school? Did you try to talk to her?”

“Yes, but I don’t think she likes me.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

Luke laughed. “That’s not going to work.”

Kota’s head ducked back. “Why won’t it?”

“She doesn't like us, either,” Nathan said, stopping on a music channel but hitting the volume down so we could talk. He put the remote in his lap. “She probably doesn’t trust us. I mean, she’s right to do that. She doesn’t know us and we’ve been kind of invading her space.”

I sighed, rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling. “I was wondering if we should talk to Danielle.”

“Nope,” Nathan said quickly. “Not happening.”

I turned my head to look at him. “But Marie likes her. Maybe Danielle could motivate her into getting up.”

Nathan scooted closer to the edge of the couch, putting his elbows on his knees to lean forward as he gazed down at me on the floor. “Peanut, you’re talking about letting a fox into the hen house. I’m guessing Danielle doesn’t know what happened here, or she’d be here already trying to take advantage of the situation.”

“But Marie thinks she’s all alone right now.”

Nathan’s lips parted to say something but he stopped, frowning. “I don’t know what to do,” he said. He turned to Kota. “There’s got to be a better way.”

I let out a large sigh, stretching on the carpet. “I don’t suppose the Academy has friends for her.”

Nathan and Luke laughed. Kota’s lips broke into a sympathetic smile. He pushed aside the bills onto the couch cushion, and slid down onto the floor on his knees. He knee-walked over until he sprawled out on his side next to me, his head propped up in his hand. “Sang?”

“Yes, Kota.”

“Would you feel better if you knew Marie wasn’t as depressed as you thought?”

I propped myself up on my elbows. “She seemed depressed.”

“Since your parents left, she’s been staying up all night on the computer downstairs and watching movies she bought off of cable.”

My mouth popped open. “What?”

“Check the internet history.”

I rarely touched the computer downstairs. It belonged to our father, and he’d told us since we were young not to touch it because it had important work files. I’d grown accustomed to thinking of it as his work computer. My eyes widened and I tilted my head. “Do I want to see what she’s been up to?”

“Probably not.”

I blushed. “You knew?”

“I didn’t know she was staying home,” he said. “But I’ve borrowed the computer a couple of times and noticed video games and music downloaded and I knew it wasn’t you.”

I wondered if I should have felt weird about Kota going on my dad’s computer. I think the only reason it felt like that was because to me it still seemed like the forbidden zone. It was too hard to get used to. My dad was gone to another life. Nothing here was his.

“I sometimes see her in the hallways at school,” Nathan said, sitting back on the sofa. “I thought she was avoiding me this week. I didn’t realize she wasn’t there.”

Luke scooted closer on the floor. “She knows she’s been noticed, now. So it’s up to her to get up and go.”

Nathan nodded. “At least we won’t have to tell Danielle.”

“That might still be a problem,” Luke said. “Marie could still tell her.”

“We’ll worry about it when we get there,” Kota said.

Luke fell back onto the carpet again, gazing up at the ceiling. “Well, we’ve got other things to do. Like grocery shopping.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“You’re out of food, cupcake,” he said. “I think there’s a moldy loaf of bread left.”

At the mention of food, my stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. “I forgot to call my dad,” I said.

“Call him now,” Kota said.

I grumbled a little, getting up. “I don’t wanna,” I said, trying to be funny.

“Call,” Kota said.

“I am,” I said, stumbling toward the kitchen. “I just want to complain about it.”

I heard the guys chuckling. I found the phone number on the counter. I started to pull out my cell phone but stopped. I wondered if he would answer if he didn’t recognize the phone number. Did I want him to know this number?

I picked up the house phone, hitting the button and waited for a dial tone.

And waited.

I blinked, hung up, check the phone line. The phone was plugged in. I wriggled the wires and tried it again.

Dead line.

“Kota?” I called.

Kota carried the stack of bills from the living room. “Sang?”

I held the phone out to him. “The landline is down.”

His eyebrows shot up. He crossed the room, taking the phone from me. He listened to it, and then did the same song and dance I did checking the line. “Is there another phone?”

“Just the one in my mom’s room.”

He took the cordless with him, following the hallway to my parents’ bedroom. I trailed behind him, and hovered in the doorway. The air was still. I didn’t like the feeling of the bedroom.

Kota found the corded phone on the nightstand. He picked up the receiver, holding it to his ear. He shook his head and then bent over to unplug the phone from the wall.

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“We’ll check the outside line,” he said. He nudged me back through the hallway and guided the way back to the family room.

Luke sat up from the carpet. “What’s going on?”

“The land line is down,” Kota said, heading toward the back door.

Nathan and Luke jumped up, following. I smothered a sigh. Academy training.

Outside, Kota circled the house until he found the phone box. There was a pad lock on the outside. “Luke?” he said.

Luke pulled out what looked like a wallet from his back pocket. Inside was a collection of tiny tools. He plucked a couple out and within a minute, he had the pad lock open.

“Are we supposed to be doing this?” I asked.

“It’s fine,” Kota said. “We’re just checking to see if it’s the wiring inside the house or if the lines are down.” There was a phone jack amid the other wiring inside, and he plugged the corded phone. He picked up the receiver and frowned. “Dead.”

“Want me to run to my house and check the line?” Nathan asked.

Kota shook his head, passing the corded phone to me. Luke locked the box back.

Kota pulled his cell phone out and pressed a button. “Mom? Yeah, sorry, no just checking in.” He sighed, rolling his eyes. “I’m at Sang’s house. I might be staying a little late. I know I don’t have to call.” He rolled his eyes again, longer this time. “We’re already going out Friday. Yeah ... Okay, I have to go.” He stabbed his thumb at the phone. “Our lines are fine.”

Nathan turned to me. “You’ll have to get your dad to call.”

The others followed me inside. I found the index card again with the number and dialed into my cell phone.

There were five rings and then the mechanical voice announcing no one was home. “I’m getting the answering machine.”

“Leave a message,” Kota said, picking through the mail again. He pulled out an envelope and shoved his finger into the top, ripping it open. He unfolded the letter and opened it. “Uh oh,” he said, blinking at the page.

“Uh oh what?” Nathan asked, balling up his fists and shoving them at his thighs. “What’s uh oh?”

“This is a final bill,” Kota said. He turned to me. “He’s shut off the phone.”

“Why would he do that?” I asked. “Don’t we need the phone? He’d said he would take care of it as long as we stayed.”

Kota held up the page. “He had it turned off. I don’t see another phone bill so he’s not replacing it.”

A finger drifted to my lower lip. I felt embarrassed even though I didn’t know why. It just felt like a mistake. “Maybe he forgot to replace it.”

Nathan frowned, shaking his head. “He’s forgotten a lot, then,” he said. “Like food. I can’t imagine what he expected you and Marie to live on. He hasn’t been back to help with groceries or anything else.”

Kota sighed, rubbing a palm across his forehead. “Okay, you three run to the store. I’m going to stay here and call some of these companies. I’d like to know ahead of time before they shut off the water.”

Luke fished keys out of his pocket, picking out one of the car keys. “We need a list?”

“Just grab enough until we can make a proper trip this weekend,” Kota said. “I don’t want Sang out late.”

I lingered, unsure with what to do. They were helping, yes, but in the moment I felt helpless. It made me realize how dependent I’d been on others in the house, and now I found out they weren’t reliable. I felt since I was almost left in charge, that I should have known about this and have handled it myself.

Instead I was completely lost as to what I was supposed to do. If the boys hadn’t been here, would I ever have been able to take care of myself and my sister? We would have starved at the rate I was going. I wondered if that’s part of why my sister didn’t respond well to me. I couldn’t even help her get food when she asked. I couldn’t have done something as simple as called our father to figure out how to get more food.

Nathan caught my expression. He found my hand at my mouth and gathered it, squeezing my fingers. “Stop it,” he said.

“I don’t know how to access the accounts,” I said. “I can’t pay...”

Nathan rolled his eyes. “We’ve got this,” he said.

“Yeah, Sang,” Luke said. “I think we can afford a box of Lucky Charms and a tub of ice cream.”

“Try not to buy just junk food,” Kota said, stabbing a number to the phone company into his cell phone.

––––––––

T
hirty minutes later, I was at the store with Nathan and Luke. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been inside a grocery store. I remembered my mother taking me before she was ill. Maybe once when my father took my sister and I along when my mother was in the hospital and we were still too young to leave at home alone.

When the glass doors breezed open and the rush of cold air met my face, I felt my body wanting to tremble. It wasn’t so much that we were there, it was why. It was about as bad as when Gabriel wanted to take me clothes shopping. My mouth glued shut and I waited for the boys to figure out what to do.

It only took a second for them to take over. Nathan grabbed a cart while Luke walked ahead of us. Luke stopped in front of the bakery display case, staring in at the cakes and the desserts. “Let’s get a cheesecake,” Luke said. He turned to me. “You like cheesecake, right?”