The Academy - Forgiveness and Permission (Year One, Book Four) (32 page)

I stepped back, my hand dropping from my mouth to the base of my throat. My tongue stilled behind my lips. Did I mess up? Why was he angry with me over something I had no control over?

His eyes widened in surprise when I backed away from him. “Sang, I’m sorry,” he said in a softer tone.

“I didn’t know,” I said, my lips trembling.

Nathan sighed, frowning. He took a step closer to me, his arms out and open but stopped, inviting me in but hesitating as if worried I wouldn’t want it. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Come here.”

I bit my lip, keeping my hand at the base of my throat. I stepped closer. When I was within arm’s reach, he encircled me, drawing me into his body in a tight hug. Instinctively, my arms wrapped around his neck. Feeling his warm hug, I let out a shuddering sigh, relaxing.

Nathan pressed his cheek against the top of my head. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I know nothing happened. You’re not that type.”

“What type?” I asked, still confused.

Nathan uttered a couple of syllables but whatever word he meant to say ended with a grunt. He pulled back enough to where he could look down at me, his blue eyes locking with mine. “Sang, I know we’re kind of different. I trust Kota and the others with you. I trust our family.”

I scrunched my eyebrows at him. “Derrick wouldn’t hurt me,” I said.

“I know,” Nathan said. “He’s not us, though.” He twisted his lips, looking pained again. His big hands rubbed at my back. “I’m just a little jealous. I don’t like the idea of him sleeping in the bed you and I sleep in together. I had this image of you being there with him and I just ... I can’t think like that. I don’t like it.”

“We didn’t do anything,” I said, surprised by his frankness and wanting to ease his worries. “I swear, I thought it was Gabriel or Luke or one of the others when I walked in ...”

He half smiled. “I know. It’s not what you did. It’s what he did. And it wasn’t his fault, either. I shouldn’t really feel this way. I can’t help it. I don’t know, maybe it was arriving and seeing you both hanging out and being so casual about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“I thought you ... you said you didn’t get jealous.” It sounded so wrong. I felt it sounded like I just said he shouldn’t get jealous at all, as if another guy could come around and he shouldn’t think twice about it. It wasn’t what I meant. I didn’t understand.

He brought a hand around to rub a palm against my cheek. “I said we shouldn’t feel jealous over things we don’t need. Or worry over things that wouldn’t change.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Like Kota’s mom. She wasn’t going anywhere and as long as I stayed a good person and a close friend, she still cared about me and she still cared for Kota.”

The puzzle pieces clicked. “You think Derrick could make me stop caring about you?”

“He isn’t us, Peanut. If you ever dated him, or say Rocky or someone else, they’d want you for themselves. I know we’re different, but ... I mean ... we’re something now, aren’t we?”

I knew my cheeks must have been a mass of redness. “Us?” I asked, without really understanding what he was trying to ask me.

This set the corners of his mouth rising. “Yeah. Us. We’re an
us
, aren’t we?”

I wasn’t sure again what he meant. Did he mean I was with them? As in part of the family? “If you want me.”

His eyes softened. He picked up my hand, drawing it to his mouth, and kissed the knuckle. “I want you, Peanut. I knew it when I met you. You’re different. You belong with us ... with me.”

His inflection made it clear. Kota was okay. Silas and the others were okay. Derrick wasn’t. There was a line, and it began and ended with the Academy, with this small circle of friends that I had started to depend on. It wasn’t normal, like Derrick said. What I needed to figure out was, was this what I wanted? Would I ever understand it and would I ever fit in?

––––––––

M
onday morning, I was dragging through a quiz in geometry when the overhead intercom buzzed. “Could you please send Sang Sorenson to the main office?”

I stiffened at my desk. Since it wasn’t specific, I wasn’t sure if it was Hendricks or McCoy calling after me.

I glanced at North, who sat up and turned, his intense dark eyes gazing back at me, telling me he’ll go with me. I dropped a casual hand on his shoulder as I passed his desk and shot him a look I hoped he understood. I’d make sure Mr. Blackbourne was watching. I’d be okay.

I wished I believed it.

Nathan had been sitting behind me. He was up now, alert and eager to disbelieve my quiet pleas to go alone, but one look from North settled it. If he didn’t get to go, Nathan wasn’t going either.

I walked through the empty corridors. Echoes floated to me from teachers talking in their classrooms. As I gazed into the different classes in session, I wondered what it was like for any of the other girls who didn’t get called down to the office nearly every day, or have to worry about playing a puppet for the principal. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be invisible, where no one cared and no one talked to me. I was happy to have the guys, and I’d do anything to keep them with me, but it didn’t make being a watch dog for Hendricks any less nerve wrenching.

Facing the front office, I slipped the phone into my hands.

I hoped that would be good enough.

The front office had only a couple other students sitting inside. Before I had a chance to close the door behind me, the secretary’s head snapped up. “Miss Sorenson, you can go on to Mr. Hendricks’s office. He’ll be with you in a minute.”

It rattled me that she knew my name. I guess I’d been in the office enough that I was becoming familiar. I sucked down some air for courage and carried my things with me down the dim hallway toward the Principal’s office.

The office door was open, but no one was inside. I dropped my bag on the floor, sitting down in the orange chair.

I started to daze off, wondering where Mr. Hendricks was and why he called me down when he wasn’t here. I straightened, aware that I was alone in the office. It wasn’t the time to stare off and wait.

I glanced at the desk casually, listening for any sign of someone approaching. There was a small notepad on the desk.

I leaned forward. From the light above, I could see the shadows of indentions, where Mr. Hendricks had written something on the paper. I wasn’t sure what it was, but the way it was tilted to particular paperwork underneath made it look like he was keeping notes as he was reading.

I listened carefully again. No noise except for deep down the hallway in the main office. No one coming.

I popped up, finding the edge of the top piece of notepad paper, ripping it from the binding. I swiped out a tiny bit of paper that tried to remain attached, so Mr. Hendricks wouldn’t notice I had taken the paper.

I caught a glance at the paperwork underneath. There were figures in columns, and something about insurance for football team members at the top, along with the football team roster, including Silas and North.

There was a list of people on a simple sticky note on his desk. Some names were crossed out, mine was near the top, not crossed out yet.

Marie’s name was listed, as well as Jade, Rocky, Jay, and Ms. Johnson, the English teacher, Mr. Morris, the history teacher, and a couple other faculty members as well. There was also the football coach and names of people I didn’t recognize.

A list of names, including me. Allies? Not entirely. I was on the list. Definitely persons of interest.

I didn’t know for sure, but I had a hunch a couple of them might have been partners. Maybe one of them had been following Kota. Or at least knew who was.

It was also possible one of them knew why Mr. Hendricks felt the need to kick out the Academy boys. What could Mr. Hendricks be up to?

I tried to simply memorize the list of names in my head over and over, but there were too many.

I checked the hallway quickly, pulled my phone out. I used the camera option and snapped a picture. I snapped a second just in case. I also took a picture of the football insurance paperwork underneath. While I didn’t have the handwritten notes, just the indentions on the notepaper, I thought someone could trace over it with a pencil and read whatever it was.

If it was interesting enough to Mr. Hendricks to write it down, Mr. Blackbourne probably wanted to know about it.

Footsteps in the hallway made me jump and fumble. I nearly dropped my phone. I planted my phone back into the confines of my bra and retreated to my orange chair. I slipped the notepad paper into my book bag pocket.

Mr. Hendricks appeared in the doorway. He moved out of the way, holding the door handle, and held it open. He partially turned to me. “One second, Miss Sorenson.” He looked on down the hallway, waiting.

I watched him, confused.

Mr. McCoy sauntered in. Mr. Hendricks closed the door after him. The Principal and the Vice Principal.

What was I supposed to do now? I tried not to look as terrified as I felt. I knew Mr. Blackbourne was watching and listening. I tried to trust in that. If Mr. Blackbourne wanted me to leave now, he’d make sure I knew. I wasn’t alone with Mr. McCoy, so I wasn’t sure if leaving was appropriate now.

Mr. McCoy remained by the door. He crossed his arms in front of his suit jacket, standing like a guard.

Mr. Hendricks crossed the room, heading to his desk. “Sorry about that,” he said in an almost friendly way. “We’ve got a little thief breaking into the upstairs lockers. We’ve had students coming in all day complaining about missing money and cell phones. The little minions haven't figured out the purpose of bank accounts and a wallet.”

Mr. McCoy gave a laugh at this.

“I understand,” I said. I didn’t, really. Why bother with someone like me when they had someone stealing from students? Sacrificing student safety and wellbeing for petty revenge seemed so irresponsible.

“Well,” Mr. Hendricks said. “Let me hear about what lies Mr. Blackbourne fed you this week if you’d like to get it out of the way.”

I had nothing prepared. “I’m sorry, he hasn’t told me anything specific.”

“So he knows you’re feeding me information?”

He already assumed, but he had the wrong idea. “He knows we talk.”

Mr. Hendricks seemed to perk up at this. “And you’ve been getting closer to him? Have you found out where he lives?”

“I only meet him for class. I’ve not been invited to his house yet.”

“Miss Sorenson,” he said. He blew out a sigh. “If I give you a job, I expect you to do it.”

I wasn’t sure what to offer him. I knew nothing to tell him. I knew certain things, but nothing that would bring him any closer to getting the guys kicked out like he wanted.

They were thieves once.

My lips clamped shut. I wouldn’t relay this information. But I had to give him something, didn’t I?

And maybe it could be something where I’d get more information, too.

“They do realize they’re being followed,” I said. “I thought it might have been...” I scanned my brain for the list he’d had on his desk. “Well, maybe Ms. Johnson ...”

Mr. McCoy chuffed. I slid a glance at Mr. McCoy, catching him rolling his eyes. Not Ms. Johnson.

“And then I heard a rumor about a student named Rocky...”

Mr. Hendricks coughed. He shifted and leaned forward against his desk. “I’m not interested in your guessing game as to who you think is following the people you are supposed to be watching.”

“But if I’m able to guess the right one, they’re smart enough to figure it out. I know I’m not an expert, but if I can pick up a tail, they’ll know soon enough. Your guy is inexperienced, he’s following too close.”

“Whoever is watching the boys isn’t important to you,” Mr. Hendricks said. “So they are laying low right now because they think we’re watching?”

I contemplated this carefully before responding. “Personally? I think they know Kota’s being watched. I mean I’ve been hanging out with him, and he’s pretty boring. Nathan, too.”

“No kidding,” Mr. McCoy said.

I smothered a shiver through my spine. McCoy admitted it. He’d been involved in watching Kota.

Which meant he was on my street.

Which meant he might have been paying attention to my house.

Mr. Hendricks cleared his throat. “So, you’re saying Kota’s probably not the one to watch?”

“I think it’s a wasted effort. If you expect they’ll do something, and they know you’re watching, they’ll stop.”

The principal’s expression changed. It was slight, but the top right corner of his mouth lifted.

This was expected. Planned.

They wanted Kota to stop. Perhaps Nathan, too. They were happy about people being obvious watching us. But why?

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?” Mr. Hendricks asked.

Surprised by the discovery of his plan, I didn’t want to divulge anything else. “Not that I can think of.”

Mr. Hendricks was about to open his mouth again when the phone on his desk started ringing. He sighed, picked it up. “Yes? What? Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a second.” He sighed, dropping the phone. “We’ve got another break-in upstairs.”

Mr. McCoy rolled his eyes again. “Give me a break. The little niglets are just stealing from each other.”

I tried to hide my surprise at the use of the racial slur.

“The price of being a warden in high school hell.” Mr. Hendricks dropped his palms on the desk, using it to rise. He nodded to me. “You can see yourself out, can’t you?”

I nodded, staring off at the wall, trying not to reveal my own thoughts.

Mr. Hendricks wedged himself around his desk, strolling to the door. Mr. McCoy followed.

I breathed out a sigh. Mission over.

I was collecting my bag when I heard more footsteps in the hallway. I waited just inside the door and out of sight, not wanting to run into another administrator.

Mr. McCoy materialized in the doorway.

I backed up a step, surprised that he returned. My tongue caught in my throat.