The Accidental Time Traveller (9 page)

Agatha might have calmed down but not me. I was a jumping bag of nerves. No way could I handle a whole school day of this. During French I planned our escape. I would say I was going to show Randolph where the toilets were, then zoom, out we’d go, back to the peace and safety of the den.

Agatha, though, was looking rapt. She gazed at the teacher like she was in love with her and I watched her repeat the words:
jaune, blue, noir, rouge
… She must have felt my eyes on her. She turned round and beamed at me.
Verte, blanche, rose
…

“Randolph is giving me far more attention than you are, Saul,” Mrs Veitch said, striding down the aisle and glaring at me. “What is red?”

“Rose?” I said, thinking how the Valentine card I got from Mum said roses are red.

“Wrong,” she said, then swung round and smiled at Randolph. “You tell your cousin, Randolph.”

“
Rouge,
” replied Agatha, so pleased with herself I was scared she was going to jump up and down.

“Bravo,” said Mrs Veitch and strutted off. Her high heels went snap, snap, snap and my fingers on the desk went tap, tap, tap. The teacher stopped before she
reached her desk, swung round, stared at me and said, “Stop that irritating noise.”

I couldn’t very well ask to go to the toilet now. So I sat glumly through French while Agatha hung on the teacher’s every word. I doodled on my jotter. It looked like a pirate jumping into the sea. I looked up when the teacher said, “Who can tell me where they live – in French?” She scanned the sea of faces and just when it looked like no one would, Nessa Nobody put up her hand. You could hear this little gasp of surprise ripple round the classroom. Agnes never ever put up her hand. Mrs Veitch looked as surprised as the rest of us. “Ah, right then.” I could see her brain scrabbling around trying to remember Agnes’s name. “Right,
jeune fille,
” she said (whatever that means), “what is it?”

“
J’habite à Peebles. C’est une petite ville au sud d’Edimbourg,
” Agnes said, sounding really French.
“En Ecosse,”
she added, then blushed and looked down at her desk.

I think Mrs Veitch got a bit more than she bargained for. Robbie started to snigger. Mrs Veitch glared at him. “Bravo,” shouted Agatha, quickly followed by Mrs Veitch. Then we all joined in. “Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!” until poor Agnes got up and ran out of the room. Agatha ran after her. It took Mrs Veitch ages to regain control of the class. I don’t think she even noticed Agatha had gone. She fumbled around on her desk, pulled out the register, and I bet you anything she was looking for Agnes’s name. Then, looking all flustered she whipped out a reading
book, sat on the edge of her desk and read to us. When she paused to blow her nose, I asked if I could go to the toilet.

Course, I didn’t go to the toilet. I dashed out into the playground. I looked on the climbing frame. I looked round by the bike shed. I even went up the hill behind the school. But Agatha and Agnes were nowhere to be seen. Down in the school I heard the bell screech for lunchtime. I could hear the church bells in the town centre strike midday. Suddenly I had a pretty good idea where Agatha and Agnes would be.

And I don’t know why, but I didn’t go after them. Maybe I thought I’d feel left out. Maybe I didn’t want to catch lice. Or maybe I hadn’t hung out with Robbie and Will for a while and I was starting to miss them. I went back into school and found them in the canteen. They waved me over and I slipped onto the bench beside them. Robbie was tucking into Scotch pie and beans. Will had a burger and salad.

“What you having?” Robbie said, shovelling another forkful of beans into his mouth.

“Nothing,” I said. “Not hungry.”

“And what about Harry Potter?” Will said. “Where’s he gone?”

It took me a moment to figure out what he was going on about. “Oh, Randolph?”

They both nodded, and winked, and nudged me in the ribs. “Yeah. Like, your
cousin
?”

“He doesn’t need me all the time,” I said. “He’s doing his own thing.” But of course I couldn’t help wondering what Agatha Black was doing and why she
was suddenly all pally with Agnes. I shrugged and tried to forget about her.

“Anyway, Winter Wonderland was ace,” Robbie said, leaning forward like it was a big secret. “The best ever. Oh man, you should have seen the big wheel. And I went on this ghost train, twice. Talk about scared. And I skated like a speed skater. Didn’t fall once.”

“Good for you,” I mumbled.

“Shame you’ve never been,” he said, shlurping back orange juice. Then he fumbled in his rucksack, pulled something out and shoved it behind his back. “Saul, I bought you a present. They’ve got this, like, market there. It’s cool. And I got you this. Ta-da!” Then he made a big show of presenting me with a Rasta hat. He threw it at me like he was throwing a frisbee. I liked the hat. It was cool, all black and orange and red and green, and probably cost loads, but I threw it back in his face.

“Saul Martin,” the dinner lady yelled at me. “That was uncalled for and ungrateful. I’m going to tell Mrs Veitch. You can wipe all the tables for that. Honestly!”

I hung my head.

“That wasn’t nice,” Will said.

“No,” Robbie stuffed the Rasta hat back into his bag, “it wasn’t nice at all.” I didn’t say a word. Robbie wasn’t done, though. “Just cause you got these two babies crying all night long, you don’t need to take it out on us.” He leant in closer. “And like, who is this Randolph anyway? And what was he doing speaking to Nobody Nessa?” But he didn’t wait for an answer. He sniffed, pushed back the bench, got up and marched off. Will followed him.

I never felt so miserable in my life. I wiped the tables and tried to stop the hot tears that welled up behind my eyes. Once the tables were done, I ran to the toilets and splashed cold water on my face. Then for the rest of the afternoon, I didn’t say a word. In art I spent ages designing a Christmas card. I drew a Christmas tree and beside it I drew a monkey in a red jacket. I gave the monkey a pipe to smoke. But I rubbed out the pipe when the art teacher headed in my direction.

“What a cute thing,” the art teacher said. “A monkey in a house.”

And I wished Agatha was there, because she would have loved art. When the art teacher moved on to somebody else, I opened the card and scrawled across the top

To Agatha and Pug, from Saul, Peebles 2o12.

Then I quickly stuffed it into my bag.

At the school gates, Robbie was obviously waiting for an apology. Or a fight. Having Crow after me was bad enough. I didn’t need more enemies. Will was standing next to him. It was Will who spoke first. “Are we still in the gang?” he asked. I looked from Will to Robbie, then back to Will. They were both eyeing me like they didn’t trust me anymore.

“Sure,” I said, “we’re having a break, right?” Then I looked at Robbie. “But I don’t need your charity, ok? The hat was cool. But you don’t need to feel sorry for me.”

“It was just a present,” he said. We stared at each other. He gave me a half smile. I gave him a half smile back.

“Yeah, well.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to go to the den and find Agatha. I wanted to give her the Christmas card. But Will and Robbie were in the gang. It was their den too. And suddenly I was sick of all the lying and pretending. “Wanna come to Pisa?” I asked them.

“Sure,” they both said.

“Wanna wear a cool hat?” said Robbie.

“Sure,” I said, then we all fell about and did a bit of wrestling in the snow, and we laughed and I couldn’t believe that I could feel so good after feeling so bad. Robbie shoved the Rasta hat on my head and we all pelted down the school path, along the cuddy and over the wasteland, yelling and cheering like idiots.

Halfway through the hedge we stopped. The sound of laughter was coming from the garden.

“No way do I want to get lice,” Robbie said. “It’s one thing Randolph being in the gang – for a few days – but Nessa Nobody is definitely not joining. If she does, I’m out.”

“Me too,” Will whispered.

“No fear,” I hissed. “We’re just going to check on Randolph. Give him a ham roll and a can of juice, then we’ll tell Nessa to hop it.”

“Agnes, you mean,” whispered Will.

I led the way. We squirmed through the hedge and burst out into the garden like we were commandos. There was no sign of Agatha and Agnes. But I could hear them.

“Bet they’re hiding from us,” Robbie said, then he bolted away, ran up the garden and into the den. Will and me ran after him, my heart thumping. “They’re not here,” Robbie announced as we stumbled in. He whistled and looked about. “Pisa looks different. Randolph’s done it up nice.” Then he saw all the drawings. They were lined up across the floor like an exhibition. “Cool!” He looked at me. “Runaway Randolph do that?”

“Hm-mm,” I mumbled.

Will was by his side and the two of them were having a right good stare. “Funny things to draw though,” Will said. “I mean, whoever heard of anybody drawing a door handle? Or a light bulb? Or a lamp-post?”

“Yeah,” Robbie laughed, “or a bit of popcorn? Definitely odd.”

“Check out this one,” Will said, “it’s the doors at the Eastgate! And what’s all this stuff?”

I stared at the pile of things in the corner that Will was pointing at. Agatha had been busy. There was a heap of earth on the floor, and water in Robbie’s blue bowl. Beside the bowl there was a pile of small stones and a few shards of broken glass. Seems going home was always on her mind.

“Junk,” I replied, waving my hand dismissively. Just at that moment another burst of laughter rang out from down the garden somewhere. “Anyway,” I headed for the door, “I’m off to find them.”

The laughter was coming from the other end of the garden. Me, Will and Robbie never went there. It was too overgrown and dangerous. But that’s obviously where Agatha and her new pal were. I ran through the snow and stopped closer to the laughter. “Randolph!” I shouted.

Will and Robbie were a few steps behind. “Randolph!” we all shouted. “Where are you?”

Silence. I glanced round at my gang and shrugged.

“Tell him to quit mucking about,” Robbie hissed.

“Randolph!” I shouted again, “Quit mucking about. Come on, where are you hiding?”

I heard rustling above me in a large tree. At the same time, a shower of snow floated down. I looked up. Something was moving. I couldn’t believe it. I heard giggling from way above me. They were in that high tree!

Either Agatha or Agnes did a really good impression of an owl. “Randolph and Agnes are up there!” Will said, well impressed, and he hooted back.

The branches rustled and another dusting of snow fell down on us. They were like two monkeys. Then I recognised a black lace-up boot hovering in the air, and I saw it find a branch. “Stand back,” Agatha called. Robbie whistled. Will gasped. The branch creaked, and she jumped down. She landed in the snow, rolled over, then sat up and beamed at us. Agnes did the same. Me and my gang just stared with our jaws hanging open as Agatha and Agnes, sitting on the ground, brushed the snow off their knees and laughed.

“Wow!” gasped Will, “that was so cool. Like, how did you manage to get up there? It’s, like,
seriously
high!”

The girls laughed again, then Agatha pointed to Agnes and said, “She showed me how.”

“What a… great place… to play,” Agnes said, all breathless. “It’s like a secret.” She swept her eyes over the garden, and the den. “I didn’t know.”

“But now you do,” said Agatha, clapping her hands.

“Yeah, but,” said Robbie, all snappy, suddenly acting like he was the gang leader and not me, “this place is our secret. It’s for
our
gang.” He glared at Agnes.

“Yeah,” said Will, pushing his shoulders back. “He’s right.”

“Yeah,” I said, “and I’m the gang leader.” I looked at the uncool girl sitting in the snow, not looking a bit uncool. Her hair was off her face for once. Her eyes shone and she didn’t appear to have an incurable disease. She looked at me and I got the feeling she knew I was stumped for words. She jumped to her feet, brushed the snow off her school trousers and shook her hair down in front of her face.

“No problem,” she said, “I’m leaving,” and she rushed past us and disappeared through the hole in the hedge.

“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this place,” Robbie shouted after her, but I doubt she heard.

Agatha scrambled to her feet. Her face was glowing pink. “Lo! What glorious amusement!” she cried.

Robbie and Will looked at me, then at Agatha, then back at me.

“That’s great, Randolph,” I said. “So, anyway,
Randolph,
” I made a big deal out of the name, “we just came to check you were ok.”

Agatha clapped her hands together, beamed a huge smile at us and said, “Majestic!”

It was getting dark. What with all the business of the girls in the tree, we hadn’t really noticed the light going. Mrs Veitch had been going on at school about how this week would end with the winter solstice, the shortest, darkest day of the year. Today’s short afternoon was definitely over. The colour had drained away from the garden and we were like shadows standing in the snow. Even the moon was out.

“Right then,” Will piped up, looking scared and glancing over his shoulder. “I have to go.”

And it wasn’t only because it was getting dark. I could see how uneasy they felt around Agatha. This Randolph disguise wasn’t working. Agatha had completely forgotten how to speak, and she didn’t really look like a boy at all. I decided to tell Will and Robbie everything. I was sick of lying. It was like I didn’t even know what was true or not anymore. I just needed to spill the beans, then we’d be a gang like we used to be, with no secrets, and maybe they could help me get Agatha back where she belonged.

“Yeah, I have to go too,” Robbie said. He grabbed me by the arm. “You coming, Saul?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I’ve just got some stuff for Randolph.
Some food and that. I’ll put it in the den. Then I’ll catch you up.” And they left, like they were in a massive hurry.

I went into the den and Agatha followed me. “Agnes is a girl to befriend, Saul,” she said. “She isna like a demure lady. Not a whit. She is a marvel.” She set about rubbing stones together. I watched sparks fly off them. They caught a twisted piece of gardening magazine and a tiny flame burned. “We have much in common. Like me, alas, her dear mother is in heaven.” Agatha got down on her hands and knees and gently blew the flame. The flame grew and lit a twig. She sat back on her heels and looked up at me. “And like me, her hapless father does his best but struggles to put a loaf of bread upon the table. Did you note how threadbare her garments are?”

“Oh,” was about all I could say. I was just getting used to the uncool girl having a name. “Poor Agnes.” At that moment my phone beeped. “Text,” I explained to Agatha, whipping out my phone. She peered over my shoulder, curious. I didn’t recognise the number. And when I flicked open the text message I felt sick.

“What is it, Saul?” she asked, pressing her nose two inches away from the screen. “You have gone pale.”

“Nothing,” I said, snapping it shut. I felt my pulse race. I shoved the phone in my pocket, the text message blazing in my brain.

I’M AFTER YOU. CROW

My mind raced. How did he get my number? I felt
well spooked at the idea of getting home alone in the dark. Mind-reader Agatha must have picked it up.

“Give no care to the horrid Dicks of this world,” she said. “You are good and brave.” Then she squeezed her hand over my arm. I shrugged her off and busied myself rummaging in my bag, trying to forget Crow and the text message.

I didn’t have much to leave for her. I was sure I’d lost weight since meeting Agatha: I was giving her half my food. There were a couple of ham sandwiches and two packets of crisps, then I handed her the Christmas card. “It’s for you and Pug,” I said, a bit embarrassed after seeing what a good drawer she was.

“Mercy!” She held the picture close to the light of the fire and studied it. “I shall treasure this picture always,” she said, then peered more closely. “It is a strange matter indeed to have a tree in a house.”

“My teacher said the same about the monkey.”

Agatha laughed and kissed the monkey on the card. From the distance I heard Robbie and Will shout, “Come on, Saul!” I felt relieved that they were nearby.

“Go!” she said, “pray, hasten to your friends. I am perfectly well.”

“Tomorrow,” I said, backing out of the den, “we could do something fun. Like, sledging or something? You know, going down a hill on the snow.”

Agatha smiled at me. “I know of sledging,” she said. “Now go!” Then she ran to the door of the den to wave to me. “Saul,” she called just before I darted into the hole in the hedge. I turned back and looked at her. “Worry not,” she said, smiling.

I grinned at her and disappeared into the hedge. Halfway through, I stopped and turned my phone off, promising myself not to turn it back on. I felt better then. I took a couple of deep breaths and reminded myself that I was the gang leader. And that I had been chosen to help Agatha Black and that was enough to worry about. And that I was going to write a history essay. Then, feeling much better, I ran like mad to catch up with Will and Robbie.

I reached them in the narrow lane that wound down to the launderette. It was a gloomy afternoon. That kind of winter afternoon gloom where all you want to do is get home. We started to run and nobody said anything. Near the bottom of the lane we passed a window where coloured Christmas-tree lights suddenly flickered on and in an instant everything looked cheery. We slowed down. “Well,” Robbie said, “like, what was
that
about?”

“Search me,” I said.

“Kind of impressive though,” Will said, “for a girl. I mean, who would have thought Nobody Nessa could climb a tree?”

We elbowed each other as we slithered down the twisty lane. “I’ve been thinking, Saul,” Robbie said, “you should tell the police. I mean, that’s been four days now. He can’t stay in the den forever.”

“Robbie’s right,” Will said. “And now Agnes knows, and she’ll tell her weirdo dad, and he’ll tell the police about him, and you’ll be for it.”

I stopped, took a deep breath and said, “Randolph is a girl.”

“What?” they said at the same time, swinging round to look at me.

I glanced over my shoulder. We had the lane to ourselves. It was now or never. “I’m not mad, ok? I know this sounds off the wall, but she almost got knocked over. She grabbed hold of me so now I’m bound to her. It’s me that has to get her back. Her dad is a failure in everything. He really needs to succeed. Make the big time. So he does a bit of time travel. But, like, obviously, he’s not very good at it. I mean, he got her lost. In the future, I mean. And she can’t get back and I’ve got to help her.”

“Back where?” they both asked.

“1812.”

We were under a streetlight. Robbie and Will’s faces were lit up ghostly orange. They looked at me like I was a raving lunatic.

“Is this for real?” Will said.

I nodded fiercely. “You saw her hair on the floor. It was me. I cut it off. I made her into a boy. I thought it would make things easier.”

Will nodded. “I wondered what that was about.”

“Yeah, and those are my old clothes she’s got on. Her own clothes were really old fashioned.”

“Funny,” Will went on, “I wondered about that, too.”

I was ready to hug Will when Robbie cut in. “Saul. My mum says it’s hard work when you’ve got one baby. When you’ve got two at once it can drive you bananas.” He gave me his pity look. “I bet you don’t eat enough. I bet you don’t sleep enough. I bet you don’t get any peace. And I bet you don’t get any attention.”

“What are you saying, Robbie?” I glared at him. “You think I’m making this up? I’m not. It’s true, I swear it. There’s nothing wrong with me. Nothing! And we made a pact. Down by the yew tree. We swore on it, remember?”

Robbie gave a snort, shook his head and marched off. Will looked like he didn’t know what to do. “Come on, Will,” Robbie shouted. Will turned on his heels and scurried off.

I tore after them and grabbed at them both. “I’m not making this up. I know it’s hard to believe.” I was practically shouting. “Her name’s Agatha Black. That’s her initials in the tree and she’s for real.”

Robbie pushed my arm away. “If you don’t tell your parents about Randolph tomorrow, I’m going to tell mine. Ok?”

“I’m the gang leader,” I shouted at them both. “And I don’t tell lies.”

They both looked at me. “Liar,” Robbie said, and they walked away.

“But this is true,” I yelled and ran after them.

“Prove it,” Robbie yelled back.

“Alright, I will.” My heart was racing. I felt cornered. By this time we were out on the street and a few folk turned and stared at us. “But don’t tell your parents,” I begged. “Give me a bit more time, ok? Please. We swore on it. We’re a gang.”

I must have seemed really desperate. They gave me the weirdest look. I think they were a bit scared of me. “Maybe it
is
true?” Will said, glancing at Robbie. “I mean, it might be? Like, my gran saw a ghost once. Weird stuff can happen.”

Robbie looked at me, all confused like he didn’t know what was going on. “Ok. Three days, you sort it out, Saul, or we tell.”

“Yeah,” Will piped up, “cause it could be for real. I mean, I saw that red hair on the floor.”

I could feel this smile of relief spreading across my face. I gave them both friendly punches on their arms then counted the dates. “December 21st, and the last day of school before the holidays,” I said. “Ok, trust me on this one.” And I twirled my Rasta hat in the air. “You’re looking at an apprentice time traveller,” I joked, catching the hat and sounding way more confident than I felt.

In the distance people were singing Christmas carols, “…Field and fountain, moor and mountain, following yonder star…” And it was starting to snow again. Then I ran off, joining in with the carol singers, singing to myself, “Oh, star of wonder, star of light…”