Read The Alchemaster's Apprentice Online
Authors: Walter Moers
The Alchemaster's Apprentice (59 page)
But let us face facts: Gofid Letterkerl is perhaps the supreme exponent of classical Zamonian literature. He attained his greatest popularity hundreds of years ago and his style - I say this with all due respect and circumspection - was considered, even during his lifetime, to be as ponderous as a wardrobe and as much an acquired taste as a trombophone concerto. I myself have always been enraptured by his style because it conveys Orm
6
in its purest form. However, I can well imagine that Letterkerl’s linguistic idiosyncrasies are more likely to drive modern readers, especially those of the younger generation, into the arms of certain authors of light fiction whose names I shall refrain from citing here. (The
Prince Sangfroid
novels are a case in point. Need I say more?)
6
in its purest form. However, I can well imagine that Letterkerl’s linguistic idiosyncrasies are more likely to drive modern readers, especially those of the younger generation, into the arms of certain authors of light fiction whose names I shall refrain from citing here. (The
Prince Sangfroid
novels are a case in point. Need I say more?)
I have, therefore, taken the liberty of transposing
Echo the Crat
into a somewhat more up-to-date New Zamonian idiom so as to reacquaint the public with the novella and, I hope, assure it of renewed popularity.
Echo the Crat
into a somewhat more up-to-date New Zamonian idiom so as to reacquaint the public with the novella and, I hope, assure it of renewed popularity.
I have also ventured to rework the story a trifle and provide it with a new title. I have called it
The Alchemaster’s Apprentice
for commercial reasons, I freely admit, because how many modern readers would buy a book about a harmless little Crat named Echo? The word ‘Alchemaster’, on the other hand, immediately conjures up mysterious happenings and hair-raising alchemistic horrors. And so, if you picked up this book purely because of its title, be honest and admit it. Don’t be ashamed of never having previously read such an Orm-infused story because you found its original title insufficiently sensational.
The Alchemaster’s Apprentice
for commercial reasons, I freely admit, because how many modern readers would buy a book about a harmless little Crat named Echo? The word ‘Alchemaster’, on the other hand, immediately conjures up mysterious happenings and hair-raising alchemistic horrors. And so, if you picked up this book purely because of its title, be honest and admit it. Don’t be ashamed of never having previously read such an Orm-infused story because you found its original title insufficiently sensational.
Furthermore, I have been presumptuous enough to amplify Gofid Letterkerl’s story with a few improvisations of my own, for without them the creative element would be lacking.
I can already hear critics accusing me of robbing the dead - of spiritual theft. Suffice it to say that Letterkerl’s oeuvre is out of copyright, and how can anyone steal something that belongs to all?
So go ahead and sue me!
Optimus Yarnspinner
1
A Zamonian mammal identical to a domestic cat in outward appearance and other characteristics, the only difference being that it can talk and has two livers. [Tr.]
2
A Zamonian cousin of the bat, to which it bears only a distant resemblance. It possesses a mouselike or ratlike head of appalling ugliness and is covered in leathery, almost impenetrable skin instead of fur. Vampire bats and Leathermice are quite similar in their social behaviour and diet, notably in their unpleasant predilection for drinking blood. [Tr.]
3
An exceedingly unpleasant Zamonian arachnid. Its appearance precisely matches its name. [Tr.]
4
See the chapter entitled ‘The Trombophone Concert’ on p. 114 of Optimus Yarnspinner’s
The City of Dreaming Books
. [Tr.]
The City of Dreaming Books
. [Tr.]
5
See p. 354 of Optimus Yarnspinner’s
Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures
. [Tr.]
Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures
. [Tr.]
6
According to Dancelot Wordwright in Optimus Yarnspinner’s
City of Dreaming Books
, p. 20: ‘A kind of mysterious force reputed to flow through many authors at moments of supreme inspiration.’ [Tr.]
City of Dreaming Books
, p. 20: ‘A kind of mysterious force reputed to flow through many authors at moments of supreme inspiration.’ [Tr.]
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