The Alexandrian Embassy (7 page)

‘Yes, Divine Gaius,' a small, balding Greek said, making a note on a wax tablet whilst scuttling behind the Emperor as he emerged, on spindly legs, into the atrium. ‘What sort of congress?'

‘I leave that to you, Callistus; whatever seems appropriate with each god. You can imagine that there is a world of difference between congress with Venus and then Neptune.' Caligula stopped, his sallow face lit up with inspiration. ‘Of course! Depict the victory that I'll have over Neptune later in the year after I've subdued the Germanic tribes. I intend to lead my legions into the Northern Sea and thrash him there and then carry on to conquer Britannia.'

‘Very good, Divine Gaius,' Callistus said as if Caligula had just announced that he was to take a longer bath than usual.

‘Ah! The god haters.' Caligula's eyes alighted on the Alexandrian embassy.

Philo immediately prostrated himself; his fellows followed. ‘Hail Gaius Caesar Augustus.'

Caligula frowned and cocked his head as if he feared that he had not heard correctly. ‘You see,' he said, looking at Vespasian and Magnus and gesturing with an outstretched arm at the Jews who were now getting back to their feet. ‘Not one mention of my divinity.'

‘Indeed not, Divine Gaius,' Vespasian replied as Magnus mumbled his discontent at the omission.

‘Indeed not, Vespasian; and Magnus, isn't it? Would you deny that I am a god, Magnus?'

‘How could I, Divine Gaius? You saved my life.'

‘There you have it: I can both give life and take life. Which one shall it be with yours, I wonder?' Caligula walked up to Philo and peered at him as if he were looking at a strange and puzzling phenomenon for the first time. ‘You are god haters inasmuch as you don't think that I'm a god; I, who am already confessed to be a god by every nation but am refused that appellation by you.' He then raised his hands to the heavens. ‘One fucking god! Are you mad?'

The Greek embassy broke into applause at this performance and began showering Caligula with divine honorifics, much to his obvious delight.

As the Emperor bathed in the godly flattery, the evident leader of the Greeks stepped forward and bowed deeply, his expression oozing subservience. ‘Divine master, you will hate with just vehemence these men that you see before you and all their fellow countrymen if you are made aware of their dissatisfaction and disloyalty to yourself.' The Greek's tone was honeyed and his gestures flowery and as he spoke he smirked. ‘When all other men were offering up sacrifices of thanksgiving for your safety, these men alone refused to offer any sacrifice at all. And when I say “these men” I mean also the rest of the Jews.'

‘My Lord Gaius! Princeps!' Philo cried. ‘We are falsely—' Caligula cut him off with a sharp gesture and then pointed to the floor. ‘Callistus, the mosaic is far too pastoral. Have it re-laid with a more martial theme: me vanquishing the Germans would do it. Vespasian, come with me.' He looked back at Philo. ‘Continue your whingeing!' With that he hurried off along an airy corridor with high windows, running off the atrium, with Callistus and Vespasian accompanying him and Magnus in close attendance.

‘We are falsely accused, Princeps,' Philo called out as he and his embassy, now bereft of any semblance of dignity, scurried after their Emperor with the Greek delegation in hot pursuit. ‘We did sacrifice, many times. We didn't even take the flesh home for our tables as is our custom but, rather, committed the victims entire to the flames as burnt offerings.'

Caligula turned into a high-ceilinged room, bare apart from a few faded upholstered couches and a couple of statues, one of Augustus, the other, Agrippa. One look at the second statue caused Caligula to shriek: ‘Get rid of it! And have the place scoured for any more likenesses of that … that …'

‘He doesn't like to be reminded of his grandfather,' Vespasian whispered to Magnus. ‘He came from an unknown family.'

‘And, Callistus, have my statue replace it but make sure that it's bigger than Augustus. The room needs to be lavishly furnished in the …' Caligula stopped mid-sentence and looked back at the
door in which Philo stood with the bobbing heads of Jews and Greeks alike trying to see over his shoulders. ‘How many?'

Philo looked puzzled. ‘How many what, Princeps?'

‘How many times have you sacrificed?'

‘Three, Lord Gaius: once on your accession, once when you recovered from your illness, and a third time, recently, in hope of your victory over the Germans.'

‘Greek style, Callistus,' Caligula said, barrelling towards the door and causing Philo and all those jammed within it to retreat in disarray. Callistus, Vespasian and Magnus followed him through, further disordering the two delegations. ‘Grant that all this is true,' Caligula said, waving a pointed finger in the air as he disappeared on down the corridor, ‘and that you did sacrifice, you sacrificed to another god and not to me.'

‘But we sacrificed on your behalf, Princeps,' Philo called from within the throng barging each other to keep pace with the Emperor.

‘What good is that to me?' Caligula stopped suddenly and swung round, causing both delegations, now hopelessly mixed together, to halt as if they had slammed into an invisible wall. ‘You sacrifice to me, not for my sake!' He spun away and the Greek delegation cheered a point well made whilst Philo and the rest of the Jews looked downcast and rubbed their beards.

‘They'd have done better staying home in Alexandria,' Magnus observed as he and Vespasian followed Caligula into the next room.

‘Not enough red,' Caligula said and doubled back causing Magnus and Vespasian to part for him.

Callistus scribbled a note as he chased his master out.

‘Philo was under the misapprehension that the Emperor had the same grasp of justice as a learned Jew would,' Vespasian muttered. ‘I would guess that his reaction to the reality would be …'

‘Outrage?' Magnus suggested. Vespasian tilted his head indicating agreement with Magnus' assessment.

‘Why won't you eat pork?' Caligula asked, much to the vocal amusement of the Greeks.

Philo's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. ‘Er, well, Princeps, different nations have different laws; there are things of which the use is forbidden to both us and our adversaries.'

‘Ha! That's true,' Caligula said, causing the Greek mirth to subside.

Philo pressed his point. ‘There are many people who don't eat lamb, which is the most tender of all meats.'

Caligula laughed. ‘They are quite right for it's not at all nice.'

Philo beamed with relief that he had finally got the Emperor to accept a point.

‘Perhaps you're not so backward,' Caligula mused. ‘What principles of justice do you recognise in your constitution?'

‘So did they find the Scorpion?' Magnus asked as Philo launched into an in-depth analysis of Jewish law, failing dismally to capture the Emperor's attention.

‘They did,' Vespasian replied with a half-smile. ‘Sempronius is currently languishing at the Urban Prefect's pleasure whilst he decides whether to condemn him to the arena as he deserves.'

‘And?'

‘And they took the Scorpion away.'

‘Obviously. But where did they take it?' Magnus asked as they entered a huge hall at the heart of the villa.

‘As it happens, I had them deliver it to my house.'

Magnus looked at Vespasian, astounded.

‘It's too cold in here, Callistus; have all the windows filled with glass pebbles so the light can still get in.' Caligula moved onto the next room as Philo continued his monologue on all aspects of Jewish law, unattended by the imperial ear.

‘How did you manage to do that?' Magnus asked once he had digested the information.

‘In very much the same way as Lentullus hoisted responsibility for Philo's embassy, when the Emperor took an interest in it, onto Corbulo's shoulders and then he onto mine so that any mistake could be construed as my fault, not theirs.'

‘Ah! You told Lentullus that the Emperor was involved.'

‘Yes; I said the Emperor had heard a rumour, as he came up the Appian Way, that something was to be smuggled into the city
using his arrival at the Capena Gate as a diversion and he had asked me to look into it. Lentullus, naturally, couldn't pass on all responsibility to me fast enough.'

‘I'm sure.'

‘So I used the centurion who had let it through the gate to search Sempronius' place, explaining to him that since he knew what it looked like, having been bribed to let it through the gate, it would make it much easier for him to find it again before forgetting he had ever heard of it in the first place.'

‘Very sensible.'

‘What are you saying?' Caligula asked abruptly, bringing Philo's speech to a sudden halt.

‘I was saying, Princeps—'

‘Bring my father's pictures that he brought back from Syria and install them in here,' Caligula said, his attention now on the small, intimate library he had just entered rather than on Philo.

‘Yes, Divine Gaius,'

Callistus said, making another note. Caligula contemplated the ceiling for a few moments before turning to Vespasian. ‘These Jews don't appear to me to be wicked so much as unfortunate or foolish, in not believing that I have been endowed with the nature of God.'

‘Indeed, Divine Gaius,' Vespasian replied, the solemnity of his voice matching his expression.

‘Princeps, may we now put our case?' Philo asked.

‘Case? What do you think you've been doing for the last half an hour? You've put your case to me and I've decided that you are misguided in your attitude to my divinity and not malicious and therefore can be allowed to live. You may go.' He turned on his heel and headed off with Callistus padding behind him leaving Philo straining, with every fibre of his being, to swallow his view on how he had just been treated until Caligula was out of earshot.

‘Gentlemen,' Vespasian said, amusement on his face, ‘it's time to go home now. We'll take you to Ostia tomorrow to find passage back.'

‘It's an outrage!' Philo finally burst out.

‘If you mean your still being alive, Philo, then you may find some that would agree with you. However, if I were you I would
get on a ship back to Alexandria and thank your god that you caught the Emperor in a merciful mood.'

‘But we were here to complain about our ill-treatment.'

‘No, Philo; you were here to defend your ill-treatment of the Emperor and in his magnanimity he forgave you.' He steered Philo around; the rest of the Jewish embassy followed to the jeers of the victorious Greeks.

‘About that Scorpion,' Magnus said as they retraced their steps.

‘Yes?'

‘Would you happen to know exactly where it is in your house?'

‘No,' Vespasian said unhelpfully.

‘Oh.'

‘But I can tell you that at the fourth hour of the night it will be on a wagon in the yard behind my house, totally unattended.'

‘Now that is a very foolish place to leave it.'

‘Not if you want it to be stolen and never to hear of it again. I'm sure the Urban Prefect will rest much easier if he knows the whole thing has disappeared and is completely out of his hands.'

‘And I'm not someone to disturb such a great man's rest, if you take my meaning?'

‘I do, Magnus; so when you've done whatever you plan with that Scorpion, destroy it and we'll consider ourselves equal for the favour that you did me in keeping Philo out of trouble until the Emperor could decide his fate.'

‘Now tie that off with a good tight knot, Sextus, and then secure it with a nail that doesn't go all the way through.'

‘A good tight knot and nail it, right you are, Magnus.'

As Sextus carried out his instructions Magnus looked with admiration at the Scorpion, now reassembled in the moonlight on the roof opposite the West Viminal's headquarters.

‘She's a beauty, ain't she, Magnus?' Marius said, stroking his hand along the groove in which the two-foot-long bolt would rest.

‘She is indeed, brother,' Magnus readily agreed, examining the wound torsion springs, made of animal sinew, in which the bow
arms were set. ‘There should be ample power in these for our purposes. Are you ready, Tigran?'

The easterner grinned and slipped off his tunic leaving only his trousers and a small sack hanging from his belt. ‘The less weight the better, I would say, Magnus.'

‘You're the lightest we've got and you'll be fine, brother; the pace with which this thing will thump into that wood over there will make it impossible to dislodge the bolt. I've seen these things pass through two barbarians in a row before getting stuck in a third. Very pleasing to the eye it was too.' He tested the stability of the weapon standing on four splayed legs as if perched atop a pyramid. ‘Perfect. All right, Cassandros, wind her up.'

The Greek attached the engine's claw to the bowstring and then wound a pair of winches at the rear of the weapon to ratchet it back tight against the counter tension of the torsion springs.

‘Sextus, the bolt,' Magnus said as the weapon reached maximum draw.

‘Right you are, brother.' Sextus picked up the two-foot wooden bolt, as thick as his thumb, with a vicious-looking iron head and three leather flights at the other end. Tied to it, with a good tight knot, was a hemp rope; a nail was driven into the bolt just behind the knot.

‘The sharp end goes at the front,' Magnus said helpfully when Sextus appeared confused. ‘And make sure that the nail is upright.'

The bolt in place, Magnus looked along its length, sighting it up towards its target. He made a couple of adjustments to the weapon and then, when satisfied, hit the release mechanism.

With a crack that echoed off the surrounding buildings, the two bow arms, set in straining sinew, blurred forward and whacked into the restraining uprights, sending the bolt fizzing through the night, pulling the fast-uncoiling rope behind it. An instant later a resounding hollow thump announced its piercing of the wooden structure on the opposite roof, closely followed by the vibrating thrumming of the missile juddering, lodged firm in its target.