THE ALL-PRO (39 page)

Ionath recovered from last week’s upset with a 28-17 road win at Hittoni (0-4). Krakens running back Ju Tweedy rushed for 135 yards on 20 carries, while quarterback Quentin Barnes scored all four Ionath touchdowns — two in the air and two on the ground. The win puts Ionath in a tie for second with the Isis Ice Storm, who won a tough 23-17 back-and-forth game against Coranadillana.

Is it too soon to start thinking about relegation candidates? Not if you play for Hittoni or Lu, both of which are winless at the bottom of the Planet Division. In the Solar, the winless Earthlings have company with D’Kow and Sala, both of which are 1-3.

Deaths

No deaths reported this week.

Offensive Player of the Week

Yall Criminals quarterback
Rick Renaud
, who went 24-of-30 for 342 yards and four passing touchdowns, as well as running in one touchdown on a 5-yard scamper.

Defensive Player of the Week

Orbiting Death linebacker
Yalla the Biter
, who had seven solo tackles and two sacks in a losing effort against the To Pirates.

PLANET DIVISION

4-0 To Pirates

4-0 Wabash Wolfpack

3-1 Ionath Krakens

3-1 Isis Ice Storm

2-1 Themala Dreadnaughts (bye)

2-2 OS1 Orbiting Death

2-2 Yall Criminals

1-3 Alimum Armada

1-3 Coranadillana Cloud Killers

0-4 Hittoni Hullwalkers

0-4 Lu Juggernauts

SOLAR DIVISION

4-0 Neptune Scarlet Fliers

3-1 Bartel Water Bugs

3-1 Jupiter Jacks

2-2 Jang Atom Smashers

2-2 New Rodina Astronauts

2-2 Shorah Warlords

2-2 Vik Vanguard

1-2 Bord Brigands (bye)

1-3 D’Kow War Dogs

1-3 Sala Intrigue

0-4 Texas Earthlings

Excerpt from
Earth: Birthplace of Sentients
written by Zippy the Voracious
From
Chapter Three, Oceans Alive, Oceans Dead

The first intelligence augmentation of cetaceans resulted in one of history’s most storied scientific failures. In 2098, the work of Brock Bietz produced four long-beaked common dolphins (
Delphinus capensis
) that showed strong indications of sentience. What began as a possible landmark achievement ended in tragedy, however, when the four dolphins began attacking Human researchers in an apparent attempt to escape the research facility and enter the open ocean. A short-but-brutal battle ensued. Three of the four dolphins died, as did nine Humans, Bietz included. A lone survivor filled the facility’s water with poison, killing the only remaining dolphin.

The dolphins’ sentience was never proven. Blame for the disaster fell on Bietz and his shoddy research procedures. The field of cetacean sentience augmentation lay mostly fallow for fifty years, until Bietz’s son, Albert, picked up where his father had left off.

Dr. Al Bietz developed several advances that built on his father’s genetic work. One of his key strategies was in speech, modifying the dolphins’ sound-producing ability as well as creating translation hardware and software that allowed Human-compatible speech.

Albert’s twenty-year program came to fruition in 2167, when he declared that his project had achieved true dolphin sentience. Albert called the species
Delphinus albietz
. He named his three test subjects Huey, Dewey and Louie. In dramatic form, he held a global, interactive telecast, inviting reporters to interview the three male
albietzes
. In that interview, it became quickly apparent to any but the most dedicated denialists that Huey, the “spokesman,” was no computer graphic, no puppet, but rather an intelligent, clever, self-aware being (Huey also repeatedly declared a fondness for salmon over halibut and showed a proclivity for telling mildly humorous jokes about bird droppings).

The world celebrated the first known non-Human sentient species (hundreds of years later, it would be discovered that Dolphins were actually the
second
non-Human sentient species, behind the Prawatt). The three dolphins became worldwide media celebrities. Within weeks, however, the dolphins demanded to be released into the wild. They claimed that they had the same rights as any other sentient Earthling and that to keep them confined to Bietz’s research facilities was akin to imprisonment without cause.

Bietz strenuously objected, saying that Huey, Dewey and Louie were his property, not world citizens. He claimed more study and testing were required. Louie’s eloquent “Freedom Swim” speech dramatically rallied world opinion toward the plight of the three captive Dolphins. Just four months after Huey’s press conference, authorities ordered the dolphins’ release.

Upon release, the dolphins headed out into the Atlantic Ocean. Dewey swam back only long enough to utter the famous words, “So long and thanks for all the fish,” and then the three weren’t heard from for another two years. As people of all kinds waited for some word on what had become of the world’s most popular citizens, reports began to surface of small “talking dolphins” in all of the planet’s oceans, seas and even the Great Lakes. Huey, Dewey and Louie were breeding — the small juvenile dolphins were their children.

Scientists began to project the breeding rate needed for three males to produce hundreds of offspring. Then came a steady stream of reports that long-nosed dolphin adult males, juvenile males and juvenile female dolphins were turning up dead — beaten, covered in dolphin bite marks, killed by physical trauma or drowning. The world’s elation at a new sentient race began to fade in light of overwhelming evidence that Huey, Dewey and Louie were murdering any juvenile dolphins they had not sired, any non-sentient adult male Dolphins and also mating with every fertile female dolphin they could find.

Matings, it seemed, that were often forced.

Some of the sentient juveniles were captured for study, but both animal and Human rights groups instantly objected. The juveniles had done nothing wrong, activists said; therefore could not be held captive without charges. World courts struggled with jurisdiction and precedent. Some of the juveniles were held, some were released, but even that quickly became a moot point as scientists estimated the new population of
albietz
at 1,500 to 2,000 animals, both male and female, that were already in the wild and rapidly reaching breeding age.

In short, the fox was out of the hen house.

Over the next few years, the sentient Dolphin population expanded exponentially. Scientists began to detect simultaneous, heavy declines in the populations of other large oceanic mammals, including whales, seals, porpoises, walruses and orcas. Twenty years after the release of Huey, Dewey and Louie, those declining species were nowhere to be found outside of captivity.

As the world tried to come to grips with this unexpected extinction event, the original sentient dolphins made contact for the first time in over a decade. With the world media in attendance off the shores of Hawaii, Louie gave a prepared speech.

“We have the right to protect our territory,” began the Dolphin’s now-famous statement. “Humans created us, which means that eventually other Humans will want to replicate the process with other aquatic mammals. This would create competition and put our species at risk. We cannot allow that to happen. Therefore, we have preemptively eliminated the greatest potential threats to our kind. The oceans and seas belong to us and us alone.”

In retrospect, it seems almost impossible that the entire Human scientific community didn’t see this as a potential outcome. The now-extinct
Delphinus capensis
was known to attack and kill large sharks — including the Great White — not for food, but to remove them as a possible threat to the
capensis
pod. Historians also point to ample evidence, evidence available at the time of Bietz’s work, that conclusively proved
capensis
killed porpoises and other dolphin species for no discernible reason — a behavior labeled “killing for fun.”

As the dominant species in all of the Earth’s large bodies of water, the Dolphins settled into their new existence. They worked with Humans in many capacities, including military, fishing, oceanic agriculture, underwater construction and exploration. The Dolphin dominance of the world’s oceans lasted almost two centuries, up until the introduction of
Homo aqus
.

There is no small irony to the development of
Homo aqus
and the resulting inter-species violence that occurred between that strain of Humanity and sentient Dolphins. Humans created Dolphins, which quickly became the dominant oceanic species by wiping out any potential challenger. When Humanity modified itself into an ocean-going variant, Dolphins initially reacted with the same level of violence, attacking and even killing aquatic-modified Humans.

World governments reacted harshly, demanding that Dolphins accept another sentient species in their space the same way Humans had accepted Dolphins.

The situation revealed the first major political divisions among the Dolphin species. Roughly half of them accepted
Homo aqus
as sentient equals. The other half wanted
Homo aqus
wiped out. Military intervention eventually settled the issue by creating armed, floating settlements for
Homo aqus
.

This forced integration eventually produced unexpected benefits. While deep racism still exists today, the majority of Dolphins became acclimated to living and working with another water-based sentient species. When Earth ships landed on Whitok in 2401, they contained three species of sentient ambassadors — Human, Aqus and Dolphin. The Dolphin ambassador Ingela Tarlinton is credited as being the leading force in developing the 2406 agreement between the worlds, the first interplanetary treaty in the galaxy’s history.

• • •

GREDOK HAD BOUGHT
some new art. Or at least he’d rotated in some things from his storage — Quentin imagined the crime lord’s collection was quite extensive. One of the sculptures drew more lights than the others, lit up as if it were as important as a Galaxy Bowl trophy. A stone woman, some kind of robe around her waist but naked otherwise. Quentin didn’t see what was so important about it — the arms had fallen off at some point, the left one at the shoulder, the right one just above the elbow. He had no idea how poor-quality construction constituted “art,” but then again, he didn’t really care about such a silly hobby.

“New sculpture?” asked Danny the Dolphin. “Venus di Milo, Gredok? Good to see you’re flush with cash, buddy, considering you’re going to have to spend some of it on my client.”

“It was a gift,” Gredok said. “Let’s call it a tribute from a member of my organization that has far more
respect
for what I can do than your client does.”

Danny’s blow hole hissed out an annoyed sigh. “Didn’t we already talk about threats? Come on, guy, I’m a busy sentient. Let’s not cover the same worthless ground twice.”

Quentin saw Gredok’s fur ripple a bit. Up on his pedestal chair, Gredok still looked intimidating, only not quite as much when Danny’s words made him look all fluffy. The Dolphin had a way of pushing Gredok’s buttons.

“I tire of your jibes,” Gredok said. “I have made a counteroffer and I am waiting to hear your response.”

Danny’s blow hole hissed again. “A counter-offer? Is that what you call it, buddy? Seven-point-two megacredits a year? You want to pay him that paltry sum for ten seasons? Lock him up until he’s old and decrepit? Gredok, that’s so far below our offer, it’s almost like you’re stalling for time, guy. You know we’re not going to accept that.”

“Then what is your counter-counter offer?”

Danny’s body rose up, supported by the flexible, silver legs. “We will accept nineteen million a year for five years.”

Gredok stood up in his chair, so suddenly agitated he almost fell off his pedestal. “That is only five percent below your last offer! I
doubled
my initial tender!”