The Alpha's Choice (27 page)

"They never saw a shower before. They liked
it," was all he said in explanation. He looked at River. "You're
next."

"I've seen a shower before," River
snarled.

"Glad to hear it. I wasn't much looking
forward to soaping you down. While you shower, I'll clean up the
mess those two made." It was said with a smile, but it was clear
Rawley wasn't asking. He was telling.

River slammed his fist into the cabinetry
behind him and Kat waited for Charles to explode. He didn't.

"Looks like you've got this handled," he said
to Rawley and then to the women, "Can you handle the others for a
few minutes while I speak to Kat?"

Chapter 26

"You can't want that, Charles."

"It's not a matter of want. What I want has
nothing to do with what is. Those cubs are wild and I don't know if
they can be tamed."

They were walking along the lane, holding
hands, but Kat now realized this wasn't an afternoon stroll for
lovers who would find little alone time over the coming days.
Charles wanted them to be out of range for sensitive wolver
ears.

"They're children, Charles, children."

"They're not. They're wolvers. We don't call
them cubs or pups as terms of affection. We're mixed breeds,
Katarina, and the wolf can be as strong as the human in us. It
takes mental strength and discipline to control that and that
control has to be learned early, so that when the change comes,
they won't succumb to the Call. That's why the packs don't want
someone like Buddy. They're afraid of him answering the Call of the
Wild. Wild wolvers, Kat, have to be eliminated."

"No!" She looked at him in horror, not
believing her ears.

"Yes," he said forcefully. "It's our dirty
little secret. Every time we go over the moon, the temptation is
there not to come back. Running free as a wolf is exciting,
exhilarating. The speed, the feel of your body, every sight and
smell is intoxicating. There are no rules, no boundaries. Some, a
very few, choose to answer that Call. They'll take a trip to
Yellowstone or the northern wilds of Canada and they won't come
back. Sad, but accepted." Charles looked at her sadly.

"Some don't plan it. They're just not strong
enough to withstand it and those are the ones who pose a threat to
the safety of the pack, because they will likely draw the attention
of humans."

"These are children. They can be taught." She
refused to believe otherwise.

"There are instances of human children being
raised wild and no matter how well they're treated, how diligently
they're trained, there are certain things they never learn or
understand. They're probably the closest to what their caveman
ancestors were like. They run on instinct and cunning and their
communication skills are basic. They don't ever fit into society.
They can't.

"Now flip the coin. Think about what a wolver
child raised wild will be. Like humans, it's very rare. Unlike
humans, there's nothing written, only stories passed down. Feral
wolvers are a nightmare come true. They are the stuff of human
legend."

Kat let go of his hand and turned away, so
upset by what he was hinting that for a moment she couldn't speak.
Charles let her go and said nothing more.

"So what are you saying?" she finally asked.
"Do you just take them out behind the barn and shoot them.
Eliminate the problem?"

"No. I'm not saying that. I'm saying you need
to be aware of the problem. River is the most functional, but he's
been raised rogue and he's almost ready to go over the moon. He may
never fit in for other reasons."

"He's a boy, a fifteen year old boy!" she
cried, unable to understand how Charles could pass judgment on so
young a child.

"No," Charles said firmly, "That's a human
misconception. He's a man or on the verge of becoming one and you
need to see him for what he is, not what you want him to be."

"And the others. Are you so ready to write
them off, too?"

"I'm not writing anyone off," he said, losing
patience. "I'm trying to say that I just don't know. There's
something wrong with the girl, Forest. I can feel it, but I don't
know what it is. The two boys are almost feral. The little one, as
far as anyone can tell, has no speech. I've talked to my brother
and he has the same doubts. They're one step away from animals,
Katarina, and I don't know if they can be brought back."

"Well I know," she said. "You'll see. They'll
come around."

It was their first, but not their last
argument over the children.

* * *

Eleven wolvers were on the hunt. An unhappy
Rawley and Tanner were left behind to guard the house along with
Buddy who was once again allowed to go over the moon and patrol the
grounds. He'd proven himself capable as Charles had known he
would.

They left a little after ten o'clock and
would not return before midnight. Busy settling the children into
their beds, Kat did not watch them go. Still angry, she didn't want
to watch them go although she'd lifted her lips dutifully when
Charles came to say goodbye.

Kat and Charles had barely spoken to each
other for the rest of the afternoon and evening and Kat felt their
emotional distance more deeply now that there was bodily distance
as well. She felt him moving away from her, putting miles between
them, and it made her miserable.

Now, she realized her mistake. He wasn't
going out for a jog. He was going out to fight. He could be injured
or worse.

"Don't let the sun go down on your anger,"
Grams used to tell her. "Not with those you love. Anger festers and
grows in the dark and that makes it harder to be rid of in the
morning."

Kat had not only let the sun set, she'd
rebuffed his overtures for peace and she was ashamed.

She'd taken what Charles said as a personal
attack on her abilities and each time one of the children acted out
during the afternoon and evening, she was sure he saw it as her
inability to cope.

Now, having had time to sit and think, she
realized that wasn't true. The children didn't defy her personally.
When they cooperated it was because they were doing what they
wanted to do anyway and not because they'd been asked or told to do
it. Otherwise, they defied or ignored everyone and did as they
pleased, although Tilda Martin seemed to have more influence than
anyone else.

"What are you smiling about," Jo asked.

After a near brawl over bedtime, the four
younger children were finally tucked in and River was ensconced in
a chair in the boy's room from which he refused to budge. Jo had
poured two glasses of wine and led Kat out to the patio where she
pulled an outdoor heater close a table and offered Kat a seat.
Until Jo spoke, they'd sat in silence enjoying the peace.

"Tilda," Kat told her. She didn't want to
discuss her other problem just yet. "I was thinking about what you
said about women being alphas. Charles says she would have been the
Alpha if she'd been a man. She has a way with the kids. They listen
to her."

"At least they listen to someone," Jo
laughed.

Her resolution not to discuss the problem
faded as quickly as it was made. "What if they won't listen to us?
What if they won't conform? What if the feral side is too
ingrained?" she whispered. She told Jo what Charles had said. "What
do you think?"

"Shit. Poor Charles is what I think."

It wasn't what Kat expected. "Poor Charles!
More like poor children."

"Yeah, well, it depends on how you look at
it, doesn't it?" Jo said after a sip of wine. She looked out over
the yard and fields to the woods beyond. There was a look of
longing on her face. "If the cubs are too feral to readjust, they'd
be happier living in the wild, don't you think? It's better than
going rogue if you ask me. They'd belong to nature. They'd have a
place in the grand scheme of things, you know? A rogue has no place
at all. They can't get along in the human world and they don't fit
into a pack. If they're Outcasts and have their families with them,
they can form a familial pack, but it's temporary and lonely."

It was a different way of looking at it, but
Kat couldn't get past the thought that these were children. "But
why poor Charles?"

"Because the decision will be his and his
alone. It's the Alpha who offers a young adult a place within the
pack. The safety and wellbeing of the pack comes first and if he
thinks they'll be a threat, he'll refuse them entry and then it
will be up to him to decide their fate. I've never seen it happen,
but I've been told an Alpha can make the beast permanent and after
a while you forget what it was like to walk upright. I wouldn't
want that decision on my plate."

"I hadn't realized," Kat said
thoughtfully.

"Yeah, being the Alpha is a lot more than
being ubermale. Sometimes, when the Alpha of a pack is really
provoked, they'll say something like, 'You breathe by my will
alone.' or "You live by my will alone." That's not an empty threat.
They may appoint councilors or have those they can ask for advice,
but that's a courtesy. They don't have to. By Pack Law, the Alpha
is the ultimate judge, jury and executioner."

Jo shook herself as if trying to shake off
her thoughts. "I wouldn't worry about it yet. He's not going to
send a kid off to the wild. There are some that would, but not
Charles. He's not that cruel. So," she smiled her reassurance.
"There's plenty of time before he has to make that kind of
decision."

"He says River is almost ready to go over the
moon," Kat whispered understanding now why Charles was so
worried.

"Shit."

"My thought exactly. I don't know what to
make of him. He comes across as a belligerent asshole who doesn't
give a shit about anything, but there's something about that that
doesn't sit right."

Kat poured herself a little more wine and
offered the bottle to Jo. She should be tucked up in bed since she
suspected the children would be up early, but she knew she wouldn't
sleep. She was too worried about the children's fate and Charles.
Oh god, how she wished him to come home.

"Tilda thinks he's so thin because he's
starving, but that doesn't make sense. The others aren't plump, but
they don't look unfed. Except for Forest. She's way too thin and
she eats like a bird, but she eats."

In the kitchen, Kat had noticed River
repeatedly wiping the saliva from the corner of his mouth. She
thought it might be a sign of his nervousness since he seemed to
show no others. Tilda's observation made her think of it
differently.

"Have you noticed how he doesn't eat until
the others have been fed?" she asked Jo. "It didn't matter how much
food was out there. I thought his refusal was just being obnoxious.
What if he's starving because he lets them eat their fill
first?"

"Rawley said River has scars. Bad ones. He
didn't look too closely because he didn't want to aggravate River
who, Rawley says, enjoyed the shower though he wasn't about to
admit it. Rawley also said there weren't any outward signs of
physical abuse on the younger boys." Jo shrugged. "I didn't see any
on Meadow and believe me, after the number of times she wet herself
today, I am intimately acquainted with that child's body."

"Oh jeez, Jo. I'm sorry I left that to you.
There was just so much else going on."

"Hey, no problem, though you might think
about a box of those diaper thingys. You know, the ones that look
like underpants? There's a one gallon bladder in a half pint kid.
She does know how to use the toilet, just not very well."

"It's fear and I'm pretty sure it's only of
Charles. Forest is afraid of all the men. She hangs her head when
any of them are in the room. She shrinks down and lets her hair
fall over face like if she can't see them, they can't see her I
don't know if it's shyness or fear."

There was so much to teach them, so much they
needed to know. The three Rs were no longer a priority, though
she'd present them as if they were. Social skills had to take
precedence. The children's lives depended on it.

After talking with Jo, Kat better understood
Charles' responsibility and concern about the possibilities, but
that didn't mean she found the alternatives acceptable. In spite of
the altered circumstances of her living here and being with
Charles, she'd been hired to do a job and she would see that it was
done. She had people who were willing to help and she wasn't too
proud to ask.

"How long will you be here?" she asked her
friend and she smiled as it dawned on her that this was another
first. She had friends. In all her life, she'd had few
acquaintances and never a friend unless she counted Grams.

Even Brandon had not been a friend. They
talked about his studies, his days in the hospital training, his
interests, his needs. They didn't share. She honestly hoped that it
was different between him and his new wife. In spite of what
happened between them, she wished him happiness in his new life. If
it hadn't been for Brandon's betrayal, she'd have never ended up
here where she was a part of something magical, where it felt good
to say she had friends.

"… moving part of the operation down here.
Eventually he'd like to bring most of it here and leave a satellite
office in the city. Like most of us, I can do my job from anywhere
and with any luck, the real estate business is going to be booming
around here. Maybe I'll leave Wolf's Head Enterprises."

"What?" In the midst of her reverie, Kat only
half listened to the answer to her own question. "I'm sorry. My
mind wandered off track for a moment."

Jo laughed. "It's not like you don't have a
few things on your mind. I said I've been thinking about leaving
Wolf's Head Enterprises and going off on my own."

"No! You can't! Not when I just found
you."