The Alpha's Temporary Mate (Fated Match) (12 page)

Had she ever been in love?

“I don’t know,” she answered before tossing back her shot. “Probably not.”

“Probably?”

She shrugged. “It seems coldhearted to look back over the men of my past and say I never loved any of them. I’ve lived more than a lifetime without forging such a deep connection. Surely there’s something wrong with that picture.”

“For humans, perhaps. For immortals that’s very normal.”

She shook her head. “I want to know what it means to think about one person. To want them, worry for them, trust them. I want to know what’s it’s like to be bound to another person.”

“Because it’s something you’ve never known,” he finished for her.

She smiled, knowing it was probably not a happy expression. “It’s a foundling’s dream, I suppose.”

“To have a family.”

“To belong,” she corrected. “Even if just to one person.” Chloe reached forward to pour his drink. “It’s not something you’ve ever had to deal with.”

He’d been born into a ready-made support system. Even when his parents had been busy she doubted the darling heir to the pack had ever been alone. He’d have had playmates, companions, and friends.

“Wolves are never alone,” she said. “Pack before all, right?”

“True, we’re always with others.” His gaze flicked to hers. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t understand loneliness.”

Her breath froze in her lungs at the stark expression on his face. He might have had the family she’d always dreamed of, but Lisette had injected desolation into his idyllic life all the same. Maybe, even in a small way, he understood some of what she’d been through.

He tossed back his drink. “Your turn.”

“Do you think you’ll find someone?” she asked. “Eventually, I mean? Someone both you and your wolf approve of?”

Silence stretched as she waited for him to answer. Unnerved under his dark gaze, she said, “Three shot forfeit remember.”

“I think my wolf is capable of trusting again,” he replied.

She nodded, reaching for her drink.

“But it’s the man I’m unsure of.”

She paused, glancing back at him.

“That’s a sad statement, Kieran.”

“Lisette was a sad experience, Chloe.”

“You’ve been apart for years, though, right?”

“Over a century.”

“Then don’t you think it’s time to try again? To take a chance, but this time on someone worthwhile?”

“And how do I decide that?” he replied. “Consult an oracle I suppose.”

“Or trust your instinct. Aren’t you wolves supposed to be good at that?”

“In theory.”

“Surely in all that time you’ve met someone that interests you. Beyond the bedroom, I mean.”

“I know what you mean.”

Chloe toyed with her glass before leaning forward. “You found me because your pack was asking you for something they needed. Something you didn’t want to give. Maybe you picked the wrong path. If they needed a mated alpha so badly in order to stabilize the pack, maybe you need it, too. Ever think of that?”

“Every day,” he replied, raising her hand with the glass toward her lips. Dutifully, she downed the drink.

“Which duty do I follow? The one to my pack that would see me mated to the next available female wolf, whether I loved her or not, or to my destined mate who may or may not show up for another couple hundred years.”

“Or tomorrow,” she said. “That’s what we tell our members. Your mate may be centuries away or she may be right next to you. You never know until you try.”

He slid closer to her along the couch. “Right next to me, hmm?”

Chloe swallowed and turned away. “You know what I meant.”

“I do.” His fingers threaded through her hair, caressing the curling tresses.

She glanced back at him. “I’m not interested in being the next Candy.”

“I’m not looking for her replacement.”

“Then what are you looking for?” The words were a whispered breath.

“I think,” he murmured. “I’m looking for you.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Does it matter right now?”

No,
her body cried. She wanted to leap and see where the current took her. Kieran was being more honest with her than he had ever been before. Surely that counted for something.

So what if she regretted her decisions, when whiskey was the deciding factor?

“Now that you’ve found me,” she said, shifting closer, “what do you want to do to me?”

A golden ring appeared around his irises. Awareness threaded through her. She was playing a dangerous game, one she would greatly regret in the morning. Whiskey courage or no, she wanted what she’d been fighting against since he first kissed her.

Chloe cast a leg across Kieran’s lap, moving to sit facing him.

“Yes,” he purred. “I want you like that.”

“Just this?” She ran her hands slowly down his chest. “Liar.”

The hard planes of his muscles tensed under her fingertips as his hands moved to cup her hips. Heat radiated from his skin, making her want to rip away the fabric and enjoy the body that lay beneath.

Sober, she might have resisted the desire, but right now she couldn’t quite remember why she hadn’t allowed herself to make the most of Kieran’s presence in her life.

Her fingers flew to the buttons of his shirt. Within seconds they were free from their bindings, the material gaping around his golden chest.

“Better,” she purred, pressing her palms to his skin.

He hissed a breath. Had he been waiting for this skin-to-skin contact as much as she had? If so, she could do better than her hands.

Bending, she pressed her lips to his chest. Her tongue lapped out to taste him.

“This is a bad idea,” he said as his fingers delved into her hair.

“Terrible,” she agreed, moving to flick her tongue over one nipple.

Power flooded her when his muscles contracted in pleasure. Usually she was uncertain with a new lover. She wanted to know what they preferred, needed to make sure she colored within the lines. But with Kieran, she did what she wanted. She touched where she craved, and he let her. This strong alpha, who was in charge every moment of his life, sat back and allowed her to play as she would.

Her fingers drifted along the waistband of his slacks. With a teasingly light touch she trailed along his abdominal muscles, her hands moving lower and lower. One hand dipped to cup the rock-hard erection pressing against his pants.

“Clothes are such a hassle,” she whispered against his throat, licking over his thundering pulse.

“Agreed,” he said, his voice hitching when she stroked him.

Chloe lifted her head to see his eyes. Gone was the thin ring around his irises. In its place was the pure, golden gaze of a wolf on the edge.

“Hello there,” she said to the animal staring from Kieran’s eyes.

“I told you both of us liked you,” he said, leaning forward to capture her mouth.

She groaned as she parted her lips for him. He tasted of whiskey and sex as he took charge, plundering the depths of her mouth. She should have known an alpha of his power could only be so good for so long. It wasn’t in his nature to relinquish control to another.

But as he rolled her to the floor, rising over her, she found she had very little problem with letting him dominate her. Not with his heady kisses clouding her mind with pleasure.

He pressed one leg between hers, fitting his body over hers. She clawed at the hanging shirt, pulling it from his body without breaking away from his mouth.

Her hands ran over the naked skin of his back. He was as perfect as she’d expected. Hot, hard, and hers, at least for now.

No wonder his past lovers had been willing to live off the scraps of affection he tossed their way. A woman would go to great lengths to keep a man like this in her bed.

Don’t think about them,
her inner voice whispered.
They aren’t here right now.

Not wanting to wait, her fingers rose to the buttons of her own shirt. Chloe was pretty sure she lost a few of them in her haste to strip, but didn’t care.

Kieran helped her pull the blue material from her body before pushing her down with one hand. He rose over her, staring down with glowing eyes.

“Beautiful,” he said, his voice gruff.

“I get better,” she replied, pulling down the straps of her bra. She wasn’t sure where her inner temptress had been hiding all these years, but she was glad the vixen had finally made an appearance. Keeping her gaze on him, she unhooked the bra and let it fall free. Twining her arms over her head she arched her back, her breasts on full display.

“Are you sure you don’t have some siren blood in your background?”

She laughed, relaxing under him. “Who knows?”

Kieran cupped her breasts, running his thumbs over her sensitive nipples. Need spiraled through her. She’d known how good it would be in his arms and still fought against their attraction. Such a foolish decision.

When he replaced his hands with his mouth she threw back her head, enjoying the sensations of his tongue lapping over her hardened nipple. More, she wanted more. Her remaining clothes constricted her. She wanted them gone, wanted his naked body moving over her, in her. Her patience was coming to an end.

“Let’s move this to the bedroom,” she said.

Kieran stared down at her with glowing golden eyes. “Hell, yes.”

She grinned, trying to roll up.

“Dammit,” he muttered. “Wait, witchling. We can’t.”

She snorted, sure he was kidding. “Then we can stay right here.” Her hands slid down his chest.

A happy fog filled her mind, getting rid of the nagging voice whispering that this was a mistake. She didn’t care. Right now pleasure pulsed through her body, and she wanted to return the favor.

Her hand moved lower to cup his cock once more.

“Christ,” he swore.

“You’ve had centuries to perfect your seduction,” she whispered in his ear. “But there’s something to be said for raw enthusiasm.”

“Don’t I know it.” A growl rumbled from his chest but she didn’t mind in the least. Other women might find looking up into the eyes of a wolf unnerving, but she liked his inner animal just as much as she liked the man.

“I’m right here,” she purred against his ear. “Asking you to take me.” Her fingers stroked him as she spoke.

“You are making it damn hard to do the right thing.”

“Our opinions of ‘right’ differ.”

He grabbed her hands and pulled them up, trapping them against her chest so she couldn’t touch him. “You’re drunk.”

“So are you.”

A grin flashed across his face. “Maybe. However, I’m sober enough to know you’ll hate me in the morning if this continues.”

“I don’t care about what happens in the morning.”

“But I do, sweetheart.” His forehead dropped against hers. “I’m not taking advantage of this situation.”

She let out a growl of her own. Using a touch of magic, she reversed their position until he lay beneath her. Chloe pressed her hands against his chest as she sat astride him. “I’m not some innocent miss unsure of what she’s getting herself into. I know exactly what I’m asking of you.”

He gripped her upper arms and drew her down toward him. “Can you promise me you won’t regret this tomorrow? Won’t blame me for it?”

She frowned. No, she couldn’t. But what was worse was the knowledge she was half naked in front of him and he was still pushing her away.

Where had she gone wrong? He’d wanted her just a few minutes ago. His tongue on her body hadn’t been an illusion.

Had he decided she didn’t have enough experience for him? God knew he outnumbered her when it came to past lovers. Maybe there was something about her he found wanting.

“You don’t have a noble bone in your body,” she said, dropping her hands from his chest. “Why are you holding me off, when I’m offering exactly what you’ve wanted from me since we met?”

His breath hissed out between clenched teeth. “I want more from you than a drunken tumble.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Kieran Clearwater?”

“I told you,” he said, pulling her close. “I’m not looking for another Candy.”

She looked down at him, seeing the gold bleed from his eyes. Here she was, all hot and bothered, and his lust was cooling.

Shame spiraled through her. She was begging a man who didn’t want her.

Idiot,
she berated herself.
Fool.
They’d shared some alcohol-fueled confessions and she’d made them into more than they were. He’d said himself he hadn’t known what he wanted from her. Well, it seemed pretty clear that he’d figured it out.

Nothing.

Not even her body.

“Bastard,” she hissed, pushing herself off of him.

“Because I’m saving you from a decision you’ll make us both regret?”

She rounded on him. “Don’t ever think you can make decisions for me, wolf. I can take care of myself. Far better than you will ever believe.”

“Chloe, I’m not rejecting you—”

A harsh chuckle escaped her. No, it wasn’t rejection. He was doing this for her own good. Maybe he even believed it. But she knew he was doing it because his interest had cooled and he wanted an exit that wouldn’t hurt their partnership. Couldn’t have her storming out two weeks early, could he?

Holding out her arms, she twirled in a slow circle. “Hope you enjoyed the view,” she said, snapping her fingers. Her shirt flew over her arms and buttoned itself up. “Because you will never see it again.”

She scooped her bra off the floor and strode from the room.

“Chloe,” he called after her.

She didn’t pause as she raced up the stairs. Didn’t hesitate when she threw herself into the shower to wash away every trace of his touch.

And she certainly didn’t think twice about the tears trailing silently down her face.

Chapter Twelve

S
he was right. He was a damned idiot.

Kieran sat in his chair, staring at the files on his desk that required his attention, and couldn’t summon the will to throw himself into work. Oh, he’d tried. But after catching the last of many calculation errors, he’d admitted defeat.

Work was not going to erase the memory that haunted him.

He pushed out of his chair, pacing the length of his office. Never before had he had a problem separating his personal and professional life. Whatever drama he got into stayed outside the office. This was his haven. A world he could command and order as he pleased.

But Chloe’s face refused to leave him. The look of pain and disappointment in her eyes continued to slice through him half a day later.

“I did the right thing,” he said to himself. The noble thing. She was right that it went against his hedonistic nature, but he hadn’t wanted to break whatever it was growing between them.

Though trying to protect her may have done that anyway.

Claws ached to explode from his fingertips, a sure sign of his rising agitation.

His plan had been sound in theory. Alcohol had loosened both their tongues, allowing them to share revelations they never would have offered otherwise. If it had stopped there, they’d both be calling last night a win.

But when she’d climbed on top of him, all thoughts of talk had flown from his mind. What was it about the witch that made him crave her like a damned drug? It wasn’t his way to get hung up on any woman. He’d lusted after potential lovers before, but he’d never pursued anyone the way he wanted to chase Chloe. Usually he took a what-will-be-will-be approach to his love life. Often the women he wanted had little problem with falling into his bed. The few who’d turned him down had then been dismissed from his mind with very little contemplation.

Maybe it was their prolonged proximity that was tying him in so many knots. Once Chloe was out of his life things would go back to normal.

Except he couldn’t imagine weekends without her curled up on the armchair, tea in one hand and a book in the other. He’d have to go back to solitary meals and a life that revolved around the office—neither of which had ever bothered him before now.

“It’s the mating moon,” he said aloud. His instincts were all over the place.

His thought lacked the conviction it’d once had.

He ran a hand down his face. Chloe didn’t want temporary. She’d told him so last night. He was to thank for her newfound desire to find her mate.

The universe had a twisted sense of humor.

Even if she hadn’t discovered her wish for a permanent companion, he’d known right from the moment he’d met her that she wasn’t the type of girl to settle for a relationship of convenience. No, anything with Chloe would be tangled and complicated.

And no doubt vastly rewarding.

Which left him with a decision. Did he want to repair what he’d broken last night? The hurt, angry Chloe he’d seen might not be a delight to spend time in a cabin with, but she’d also pose no threat to his solitary life. Right now the woman wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.

It’d be the easy way out.

Except the pain in her eyes gnawed at him every time he closed his. She’d taken his concern as rejection, and after the lonely life she’d lived, he could just imagine what that was doing to her.

She’s my employee, my pretend lover. I shouldn’t care
. Hell, Chloe was taking up far more of his time than his real girlfriends ever had.

That truth did nothing to quell his desire to make things right.

He glanced backward at his phone. She was a few button presses away.

“Dammit,” he cursed, stalking to the cordless. Other men might be able to ignore their partner’s pain but he didn’t seem capable of it.

Here’s hoping she didn’t dismiss the call when she saw who was on the other end.

S
ome things magic couldn’t fix. Chloe’s pounding head was one of them. The embarrassment clinging to her like a second skin was another.

Leaning her forehead on the desk, she closed her eyes and wished she were anywhere but work. Drinking on a Sunday night. Recipe for disaster.

Not quite as bad as waking up with a clear memory of exactly what had happened the night before.

She groaned, not exactly sure what was worse—telling her flighty would-be lover she wanted a mate, or the fact that he’d turned her down when she’d offered herself up on a silver platter.

Oh, he might have said perfect words she was desperate to believe, but in the harsh light of day Chloe figured the alcohol was probably affecting him as much as it had her. Even intoxicated, Kieran had managed to stop and push her away. He might have said he needed her as something more than his next superficial girlfriend but when push came to shove, he hadn’t wanted anything from her at all.

And that pain cut through the worst of her embarrassment like a knife.

It was a blessing he’d stopped when he had, she told herself. He’d kept them both from making a mistake. Better he realized she wasn’t what he wanted before she’d ended up crossing a line she couldn’t come back from.

It didn’t matter that he didn’t want her as much as she wanted him. She’d always known they wanted two different things out of this partnership. Better to get this job done and get away from him as fast as possible. Then she could focus on finding her mate, which obviously wasn’t the delicious alpha. Her mate wouldn’t push her away. Not ever.

Her mate wouldn’t find her lacking.

The phone rang, cutting through her morose thoughts and making her wince at the shrill sound. Pushing herself up with a groan she grabbed the receiver.

“Fated Match, pairing mates together since 1704.”

“Chloe.”

Her body went from sluggish to alert with that one word, spoken in a voice she recognized all too well.

“Kieran,” she said. Her instincts demanded she slam the receiver down, but logic stopped her. She could play this cool. Be an adult. So he’d turned her down. She could rise above and be mature. Couldn’t she?

“You were gone when I woke today.”

“Early shift,” she replied, not wanting to admit she’d set her alarm so she could avoid bumping into him in the kitchen. Last week she’d enjoyed the domesticity of getting ready for work together, watching Kieran making them breakfast while she’d prepared the tea and coffee. Today, though, she’d wanted a chance to lick her wounds before she saw him.

“We need to talk.”

That was the last thing she wanted to do. No doubt he’d be kind, explaining exactly why this was a bad idea for their charade. She’d nod along, all the while knowing if she’d been Candy or any one of his other nameless lovers he would have taken her every which way, until neither one of them had the strength to move.

“We can do that at home,” she said. “I’ll be back by seven or so.”

“And leave you spinning worst-case scenarios in your head all day? I’m not a dumb man.”

She sighed, leaning back in her chair. He wouldn’t let this go. Fine. She could handle it. “What do you want to talk about? I’m busy.”

The one lone file on her desk mocked her. Vivian had taken one look at her sorry, hungover self and banished her to her office with barely anything to work on.

“Last night…”

“I told you alcohol was a bad idea.”

He snorted. “It was a brilliant idea. You never would have told me the things you did last night. Not without dating for far longer than we have been.”

“And you wouldn’t have mentioned Lisette,” she snapped. “It’s not as if you’re any more open about your thoughts than I am.”

“I don’t regret our confidences.”

No, just stripping her body bare. “Then why are you calling?”

“I want to apologize for what came after.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. Even though she’d seen it coming, it still hurt that he regretted the fiery embrace that was imprinted on her brain. He’d told her that he’d been looking for her and then pushed her away, all in the space of minutes.

“Apology accepted.” Her tone was harsh even to her own ears. She wanted this conversation over.

“You’re getting things twisted again, aren’t you?” He sounded amused. The bastard. “Sweetheart, I’m only apologizing for pushing you away. I didn’t want to take advantage of a situation you’d regret this morning.”

“Convenient excuse,” she said. “Just call things as they are. We were on track for what I thought would be some pretty epic sex and you lost interest.”

His snort of derision mocked her. “Is that why I’ve been hard as iron all day?”

“Your own fault.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “I let things get out of hand. Whiskey or not, I should have stopped everything the moment you climbed on top of me.”

Her cheeks heated at the reminder that it’d been her actions that started them on the path to the awkward conversation they were now engaged in.

“If we’d had sex last night, how would you have felt today?”

She wanted to say she’d have been perfectly fine, but the words died on her tongue. In truth, she would have berated herself for her poor decision. She would have cursed the alcohol she’d drunk, and probably cursed the wolf in her bed for taking advantage.

“You would have regretted it, Chloe. We both know that.”

“And you cared about that so much you restrained yourself?” she asked, her words dry.

“Yes, that is exactly what happened.”

She blinked. “You don’t walk away from things you want, and you’ve been trying to get me into bed since I first moved in.”

“I told you things were different with you. I meant it. When you finally yield to me, witchling, you’re not going to have anything you can blame for your decision other than lust.”

A flare of hope sparked to life within her. He sounded sincere. If he was telling the truth, then he cared about her. Far more than she’d suspected. Cared enough to protect her from herself, even when it went against his desires.

He’d put her needs first.

“Do you believe me?”

She chewed her lip. “I want to.”

A chuckle sounded through the phone. “Chloe Donovan, I swear to you on my pack that I want you with a goddamn need I haven’t felt in decades. If I had my way, we’d be having this conversation at home right now, and once you believed I only stopped because of the alcohol in your system, I’d carry you to bed. Hell, we probably wouldn’t make it that far. Not that I’m opposed to bending you over the table and introducing you to such pleasure you wouldn’t remember your own name, let alone your reservations.”

Heat flooded her cheeks. “I believe you,” she hissed. “Stop that.”

“Good. Then believe this, I’m done trying to separate business and pleasure. You can try to resist, my witch, but I’m going to do my very best to seduce you.”

Her mouth went dry. “I was clear about what I wanted, Kieran. That hasn’t changed just because I’m in possession of all my faculties now. I don’t do temporary.”

“I know. Hurry home tonight, Chloe. I’ve been dreaming of kissing you again.”

The line went dead.

She stared at the phone in her hand. What did he mean, he knew? Knew she wanted a mate and was happy to ignore that fact, or knew and still wanted to pursue her?

“Damn the man,” she breathed, returning the phone to its cradle.

Kieran on his best behavior had been hard to resist. How was she supposed to survive the next two weeks with the wolf turning every ounce of charm and determination he had on her?

“I’m in trouble,” she said, dropping her forehead back to her desk. Last night might have gotten her the secrets she wanted, but it also gave her a taste of what she was missing.

A taste that just made her crave more.

H
e heard the door close as he pulled the meatloaf from the oven. Chloe was right on time. As he portioned out dinner on to two plates he listened for her movements. Usually she kicked off her heels and made a beeline for food. Tonight, she lingered in the hallway.

A grin curved his lips as he walked the plates over to the island. Looks like she wasn’t as sure of her self-control as she wanted him to believe.

Even after their phone call he’d been haunted with memories of her half naked and spread out beneath him. He deserved a bloody medal for having the self-control to turn her down. Not that she’d thanked him for it.

Just as she wouldn’t thank him for seducing her if he didn’t want to keep her.

He went to fish out some utensils from the drawer as he thought about that quandary. Chloe wanted something real, something long term if not forever. And he…

Lisette had broken something in him. He wasn’t sure he could handle the kind of relationship Chloe would need to thrive. Wasn’t sure he wanted to find out if the man he’d been with Lisette was still buried somewhere inside him.

But Chloe was worth the effort to find out, wasn’t she?

His wolf let out a happy whine of approval within him.

“I know you like her,” he whispered to himself. The damn beast had been overjoyed last night. Kieran couldn’t remember a time when the two halves of him had been so in sync, so focused on the pleasure of one woman. His wolf wanted to keep her. It was the man holding them back.

“Smells great.”

He turned to see Chloe slip into the room, her back pressed against the doorjamb.

As always, she looked good enough to eat. Her dark suit complemented her curves, even as it gave her an air of professionalism. How did her male clients manage to sign up for Fated Match without trying to catch her eye?

“Long day?” he asked, crossing his arms.

She shrugged. “Vivian had me on grunt work.”

He eyed his partner, noting how she hugged the doorway. Did she think he’d pounce if she got too close? A wolfish smile tugged at his lips. Probably. He wasn’t even sure she was wrong. Still, Chloe would bolt if he moved too fast, and though he’d always run from commitment, he didn’t want to chase her away.

A mess of contradictions aren’t you, Clearwater?

“Hope you like meatloaf.”

“Yeah.” She stepped forward, moving toward her usual chair.

As she did, Kieran grabbed the teapot off the counter and headed toward the mug beside her.