Authors: Amy Gutman
think she went with him. I’ve tried to call her a bunch of times, 34
but she doesn’t answer her phone. She’s probably screening her S 35
calls. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
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Callie wasn’t sure what to say. “Maybe it will all work out,” she 2
said, not feeling terribly hopeful. If Posy had really left him at the 3
dance — well, it didn’t sound promising. But this just wasn’t her 4
problem.
It really wasn’t her problem.
5
A cluster of students walked into the lounge, all of them 6
squealing with laughter. One of the women had a glossy braid 7
that almost reached her waist. Callie balled up her crackers wrap-8
per and tossed it into the trash.
9
“Give Posy another call,” she said. “It could be a misunder-10
standing.”
11
As she turned to leave, she tried to avoid the pain on Nathan’s 12
face.
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Saturday, May 13
R ING BELL FOR FIREARM PERMITS
1
ALL OTHERS SEE DESK OFFICER AT WINDOW
2
BEHIND YOU
3
The bell was on the counter beneath the sign. Callie tapped it 4
with her palm. A short, bright ring, and then a female voice. “Be 5
right there. Just a sec.”
6
Nervously, Callie glanced around once more at the small po-7
lice department lobby. While she knew Rick was visiting his par-8
ents again, she half expected to see him.
9
“What can I do for you?” The woman behind the window had 10
short brown hair and a soap model’s flawless skin. Callie was re-11
lieved to find that she didn’t look familiar.
12
“I’m here for a license to carry,” said Callie.
13
“You’ve filled out the application?”
14
“Yes.” Callie pulled it out. She handed it over along with the 15
safety certificate from her Smith & Wesson class.
16
The clerk opened a door and gestured Callie back. “That’ll be 17
thirty-five dollars.”
18
After taking Callie’s money, she turned back to the forms.
19
Covertly, Callie watched, trying to read her expression. There 20
were several places on the four-page application where she hadn’t 21
been sure what to write.
22
Are you or have you ever been under treatment for or confinement
23
for drug addiction or habitual drunkenness?
24
She’d never been to rehab — though perhaps she should have 25
gone — so she figured the answer was no. AA wasn’t a treatment S 26
program, more a form of self-help.
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Have you ever used or been known by another name?
2
If yes, provide name and explain.
3
Her first thought had been to stop right there, to forget all 4
about the license. In bold-faced letters, the application warned 5
against providing false information, listing penalties ranging 6
from a five-hundred-dollar fine to a two-year prison sentence.
7
Maybe the warning was exaggerated, but she didn’t feel like test-8
ing it. The only other option was to put down her maiden name.
9
Laura Seton
10
Laura Caroline Seton
11
Laura C. Seton
12
She’d written down the various versions, trying to see them 13
with fresh eyes. Even if the name seemed vaguely familiar, would 14
it prompt more than a fleeting thought? There were millions of 15
people in the world. Many had the same names. In the end, she’d 16
settled on the full name: Laura Caroline Seton. It was both the 17
most accurate and, she thought, the least likely to be recognized.
18
The clerk looked up at her.
19
“Where it says reason for request, you put down personal pro-20
tection.”
21
“Yes.”
22
“You’ll need to speak with Lieutenant Lambert.”
23
“Is . . . is that standard? Talking to him, I mean?”
24
“If you want a gun for personal protection. Not if it’s for target 25
practice.”
26
Damn.
27
Briefly, Callie considered changing the reason she’d put down.
28
But to do so now, she decided, would be a transparent ploy. Bet-29
ter to stick with what she’d written, as if she had nothing to hide.
30
At least this Lambert wasn’t someone she knew, someone Rick 31
talked about.
32
She was photographed and fingerprinted. One by one, Callie 33
watched as the lacy black prints appeared, the second time in the 34
past two weeks she’d been through this process. In Maine, they’d 35 S
needed her prints for elimination purposes, to compare with any-36 R
thing they managed to lift from the note or the watch.
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They started with the right hand, moved to the left, then did a 1
second set. Finally, the clerk took a single print of Callie’s right 2
index finger.
3
“This one will be for your license,” she said.
4
“Why? Why just that one?”
5
“For most people it’s the trigger finger.”
6
“Oh,” Callie said.
7
In less than twenty minutes, it was over.
8
Callie was on her way out the door when a question crossed 9
her mind. “The application says it could take more than a 10
month — to get a license, I mean. Is there any way to speed that 11
up? Any way to expedite?”
12
“You’d need to ask Lieutenant Lambert about that too. I really 13
couldn’t say.”
14
Lambert. Callie had forgotten that part.
15
“Actually, I think he may be in. Want me to see if he’s free?”
16
The young woman picked up the phone and talked briefly to 17
someone. When she hung up, she looked at Callie. “He can see 18
you now. I’ll take you back.”
19
“Lieutenant Mark Lambert. Nice to meet you, Ms. Thayer.”
20
He was Asian, something she hadn’t expected, not given the 21
name. Tall and slender with high cheekbones, he had short jet-22
black hair. Instead of a uniform, he wore a crewneck sweater and 23
neatly pressed khakis.
24
There was a table with two chairs in the small white room. He 25
gestured for her to sit. Taking a seat across from her, he briefly 26
studied her face.
27
“So, Ms. Thayer, you want a gun for self-protection. Can you 28
tell me a little about that?”
29
His eyes, almost black, fixed on her face. She had a brief unset-30
tling feeling that he could read her mind.
31
“There’s not really much to tell.” Callie laughed self-consciously.
32
“I’m a single mother with a ten-year-old daughter. It just seemed 33
like a good idea. My father had a gun while we were growing up, 34
and it always made me feel safer.” This last part was a total fabri-S 35
cation, but who was going to check?
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“I see,” Lambert said. His tone didn’t change. “Are you con-2
cerned about something in particular?”
3
“No,” Callie said, perhaps a bit too quickly. “No, it’s nothing 4
like that.”
5
“Where do you live, Ms. Thayer?”
6
“On Abingdon Circle,” Callie said. “Walking distance from 7
downtown.”
8
“That’s right near the college?”
9
“Yes.”
10
“Almost no crime in that area. Just a break-in now and then 11
when folks go out of town and forget to stop the mail. Last one 12
must have been a couple years back.”
13
“The Reillys,” said Callie. “Two Christmases ago.”
14
“That sounds about right.”
15
A knot was building in Callie’s chest. She hadn’t expected to 16
be grilled.
17
“It’s not like I plan to
use
the gun. I just want to have it.”
18
“I’m sure you know about the dangers of having a gun in the 19
house. As careful as you are, there’s always a chance that your 20
daughter or a friend could get hold of it.”
21
“So . . . I don’t understand,” said Callie. “Do I have to con-22
vince you of something? I’ve taken the required safety course.
23
I’ve never been convicted of a crime. I’ve never done any of 24
those things on the list that keep you from getting a license.”
25
For a long moment, Lambert looked at her. “I have some dis-26
cretion,” he said.
27
There was something in his gaze that Callie found unnerving.
28
It was like he suspected a subterfuge. Or knew more than he was 29
saying.
30
Now he was sitting back in his chair, his eyes still on her.
31
“Officer Evans came by to talk to me. He’s a little worried 32
about you.”
33
Callie looked at him in astonishment. “What did he say?” she 34
asked.
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“He’s concerned about your having a gun in the house. He 36 R
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seems to think you’ve been a little . . . tense, maybe not seeing 1
things clearly.”
2
Tense.
He’d picked the word carefully. What he meant was
un-3
stable.
Damn Rick for interfering. This wasn’t his concern. Before 4
she could think better of it, hot words tumbled out.
5
“This is ridiculous. If
Officer Evans
” — she bit off the words —
6
“had something to say, he should have talked to me about it.”
7
Lambert looked at her warily. “I was under the impression he 8
had.”
9
“He doesn’t think I need a gun. I’m aware of that. But I’m not 10
a child. He isn’t my father. This is my decision, not his. I’m a cit-11
izen of this community, just like anyone else. It’s not up to the 12
man I’ve been
dating
to make the decision for me.”
13
“Whoa,” said Lambert, raising his hands. “Look, Ms. Thayer. I 14
think we’re going off in the wrong direction. Officer Evans is just 15
concerned about your safety. It’s not about someone controlling 16
you, telling you what to do.”
17
“I think I’m the best judge of that,” Callie snapped. “And from 18
where I’m sitting right now, that’s exactly how it feels.”
19
A long pause. Callie’s face was hot, and her heart thudded in 20
her chest. A tiny voice in her head was saying,
This isn’t helping any.
21
She pressed her lips together, let out a long breath.
22
“I’m sorry to get so upset,” she said. “But this really isn’t Rick’s 23
business. Unless he told you anything specific that makes you 24
think I’d pose a danger. If he did, I’d like a chance to respond. I 25
think I’m entitled to that much.”
26
Lambert studied her another few moments. Finally, he spoke 27
again. “I’ll let the application go through,” he said. “But I’d ad-28
vise you to think about this when you’re feeling a little calmer.
29
Think about whether it really makes sense to keep a gun at home.”
30
She couldn’t get out of there fast enough, away from Lambert’s 31
questions.
32
As Callie emerged onto the street, she took deep, full breaths.
33
She stood there squinting in the morning light as her eyes ad-34
justed to the sun.
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It was one of the first warm spring days, the air both soft and 2
bracing. The sky was the same flawless blue it had been on Easter 3
morning. The police department shared the street with a pictur-4
esque row of shops. People milled about window-shopping, but 5
Callie barely noticed.
6
Still standing in the shadow of the police station, Callie pulled 7
out her cell phone. She didn’t even have his parents’ number.
8
She’d have to leave a message. Rick had a cell phone, but he 9
rarely used it, and she didn’t have that number either.
10