The Armor of God (23 page)

“You have five seconds to get away from him,” a husky voice boomed from the hallway. Garros was standing outside his door, and started limping his way towards them. “A whole chunk of my back still looks like roasted pork and hurts like hell, but I promise I can still beat the dusty crap out of you if you lay a finger on him.”

At this counter-aggression coming from an even bigger man, Akiva’s rage began to subside. Ezra saw his eyes watering, exposing profound pain and regret. “I’m sorry, Ezra, I’m—,” he tried to say, but couldn’t, and just fled down the stairs in time for Garros to reach them.

“Ass,” Garros said, then looked down at Ezra. “You okay?”

Ezra was almost too humiliated. He had never felt smaller or weaker. He had never been defended before, indeed
saved
, from what could have been a horrible beating. His voice still carried his trembling fear. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s a giant prick, Blanchard! And looks like a bully, too. I knew there was a reason why I didn’t like him,” Garros said, angry. “What did he want, anyway?”

Ezra shook his head. “Nothing—don’t worry about it. Thank you, Garros.”

He walked down the stairs, and his legs trembled with every unsure step.

Still sick to his stomach, embarrassed and shaken by the possibly violent feud he had inadvertently started, Ezra opened the door to the usual study where he used to meet with Susan.

He found Dr. Yuri instead. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I must be in the wrong place.”

“No, Blanchard, not at all. Please, take a seat,” he said, and it dawned on Ezra that the former director would be his new counselor. “I’m going to take over Dr. Higgins’ role in here. Is that okay with you?”

Ezra couldn’t reply, so he just stepped inside and closed the door.

“Is everything okay? You look a bit shaken up. You’re sweating.”

“I’m fine, sir,” he said and took a seat, trying to hide the pangs of the scare.

“Your mind appeared to be elsewhere in class today,” he said.

Ezra couldn’t even remember Dr. Yuri’s presence in any of his morning lectures. “I’m just exhausted, sir.”

“You can call me Yuri in here, or Dr. Logan. Why are you exhausted? Were you busy studying last night or did you have trouble falling asleep? I heard from Sergeant Barnes that you were in your bedroom reasonably early.”

“I had trouble sleeping,” he admitted. “I think I heard him
leave
the dormitory before I even fell asleep.”

“Was he noisy?”

“A little bit,” Ezra said. That morning, Barnes had opened and closed doors, dressed, and walked about the dormitory at the other side of Ezra’s door without much apparent intention in being quiet.

Dr. Yuri laughed. “Sergeant Barnes, he is a . . . he is a heavy man; I wouldn’t be surprised if he was being passive aggressive, like maybe he wanted to let you know he was making noise to guilt you into getting up as well. I suppose it would be rather intimidating to confront him about it, eh?” Ezra nodded and feigned a smile. “Well, you won’t have to worry much about him. I don’t know if he told you but he’s cleared to return to Roue at nights, so only his husband will have to worry about the noise.”

“I suppose, sir.”

He looked at Ezra for a moment, considering his next words, and the approach to take. “You know there is a lot to be discussed in this room. Seeing me and not Dr. Higgins in this chair must be difficult.” Ezra had never heard Susan’s last name preceded by that title. “You should know that part of the reason why I stepped down to let Director Blanchard—your mother—take my place, was because it was agreed that I would be the right person to cover this job. I’m not only taking over in Dr. Higgins absence; I’m counseling everyone who was involved in the overload of Absolute Omega’s core, whether they’re new here like yourself or Crescent, or veterans like Parks or Perry.”

“I understand, sir.”

“Like I said, there is a lot that you need to say in here, but it doesn’t have to be today. We can circumvent that topic for now and come back when you’re ready, when the wound is not so fresh. In here, I don’t care about the science of the incident, but the marks left in you.”

They spoke for the whole hour, but it was as difficult for Ezra as he had expected, even if they didn’t touch the subject of the incident. Dr. Yuri appeared to be leading the conversation into strange and unusual places, asking Ezra questions that to him didn’t make much sense but were vaguely connected to life and death.

Mostly death.

Ezra just assumed these questions were meant to reveal aspects of himself only Dr. Yuri or someone with similar training could interpret.

“Do you think about death much, Ezra?” he asked when nearing the end of the session.

“I’ve always preferred not to,” Ezra said honestly. “But I’ve been thinking about it more lately.”

“What is death to you?”

He took a moment to answer. Susan always asked him to be introspective, but rarely, if ever, delved into philosophical issues. Ezra didn’t like to think that way. “I—the end of life, I guess.”

“For you, is it something that’s easy to define?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“Is death easily defined? I’m asking whether you think there’s a moment in which you could believe that a being could be neither alive nor dead.”

He blinked; the question seemed too obvious, so he assumed it was some manner of trick. “If you’re not alive, you’re dead—I don’t think I’m following, Dr. Yuri.”

“Let me rearticulate the question. Have you ever had pets?”

“My sister had a dog when I was ten.”

“
Had
, then. How did the dog die?”

“She had to put him to sleep. A bigger dog attacked him outside our house,” Ezra choked when saying this, and not because of the memory itself. “My sister’s dog couldn’t walk anymore.”

“So she put it down?”

“She couldn’t play with it anymore, or walk it anywhere. It couldn’t even take a crap without my sister’s help anymore. The dog was in pain.”

“Did you protest her decision to put him down?”

“I did when I was a kid,” Ezra said, remembering the moment when he heard his sister ask the doctor to put the dog down. He hadn’t thought about it until now, but that was the first time Ezra faced the reality of death. “It seemed cruel and unfair to me then, but I don’t think I would protest the decision now.”

“Do you think there’s a moment, a line to cross, when it’s acceptable to
you
to put a dog down, and then when it isn’t acceptable anymore?” Dr. Yuri asked.

“If the dog isn’t a dog anymore—”

“When did your sister’s dog stop being a dog?”

“When it stopped serving the function—no, wait. When he couldn’t do anything he could—no, hold on.” This was a question that didn’t have an answer, but Dr. Yuri seemed to expect one, and it was frustrating. “I don’t know. It’s something you have to decide on a case-by-case basis. There isn’t a formula to when it’s acceptable to take a life, even a dog’s. Why are you asking me this?”

Dr. Yuri nodded. “Come with me.”

The thin man led Ezra out of the studies and into the Compatibility labs. “Where are we going, sir?”

“The research labs,” Dr. Yuri replied and stopped before a large door in the corner of the labs, opposite to the docking area. Ezra had noticed the door before, but had only seen Dr. Mizrahi take it; he had never had clearance himself.

Dr. Yuri produced a keycard from his coat and slid it over a sensitive panel. The door opened to another long hallway.

How big is this damned place?
Ezra thought as both made their way into the dark corridor, which lit up upon their entry. The deeper they went, the louder the distinct and somehow familiar sound of painful howls became. “What is that noise?”

“Someone who will make you think about my question, and your purpose here,” Dr. Yuri said and opened another door with his keycard. Ezra noticed the words CLEARANCE LEVEL 8 NEEDED permanently indented onto the door, and just below: SUBJECT EDWARD TESTING CHAMBER. “You should know, Ezra, that what I will tell you and show you now is strictly confidential, and you are not to share it with anyone, not even the other pilots.”

Though nervous, there was a strange feeling of pride in Ezra. Why was classified information being shared with him? It felt like
growth
.

This door opened to a huge egg-shaped chamber, and they stepped onto a catwalk structure that circled the interior of the room from about thirty feet above floor level. This place smelled like dead animals and excrement, so when Dr. Yuri covered his nose and mouth with a tissue, Ezra did the same using his shirt.

A horrifying howl made Ezra wince because it came from just below his feet. The catwalk appeared to be an observation deck for whatever it was Zenith kept below—whatever made those terrible wails.

Dr. Yuri stood at the edge of the deck, hands on strong iron railings, and invited him to look down. Ezra was afraid to approach the railing to oversee the animal below, but was compelled to in previously unfelt morbid curiosity.

“This is Subject Edward, Ezra,” Dr. Yuri said, and Ezra finally looked down. It was a very large animal, and not one he had ever seen or heard of before. Though it was squatting down over a meal, it seemed to be extremely big. It was almost humanoid in shape, in possession of a very large, powerful torso, but thin long legs and arms that didn’t seem capable of holding the weight of its muscular midsection. Its head sat atop a remarkably thick neck and was vaguely equine in shape. Its skin was hard, similar to what Ezra knew elephants’ skin used to be.

The thing—Subject Edward—heard Ezra’s voice and looked up at him. As though it could recognize him, the foul creature got on its deceivingly strong legs and hissed at him, baring sharp teeth that dripped its meal’s blood. Standing on its hind legs, it was at least twenty-five feet tall, and terrifying even when beheld from the safety of the catwalk.

“This is what lies outside Roue, in the wastelands. You were told these monsters arrived with the laani when it fell on our planet, but that is a
lie
. All that arrived with it was the virus, and this is what that virus makes of a living thing: It mutates its host. Even after an animal’s death, the laani can regenerate enough of the dead tissue to bring it back to life and mutate it into a giant version of the contaminant itself.”

“This—it used to be a human being?”

Dr. Yuri considered the question, looking at Ezra in the eye. “Maybe it was a dog, or a horse. But if I said it used to be a human being, would you protest to kill it? We could do it. Right now, with just the pressing of a button, I could incinerate Subject Edward. Remember it can’t think beyond its basic cravings and its instinct for survival. Do you think it should be killed?”

Ezra’s heart began to hurt, increasing its pulse to what felt like a dangerous rate. His head hurt, and tried to believe that Dr. Yuri was lying to test him. “Can—can it be cured? Can it be brought back to normal?”

“The work you and your fellow pilots do inside your Creuxen is trying to accomplish precisely that. We’re close, I like to believe, but if you asked me to cure it today, it would be impossible. So, should it be killed?”

Ezra looked at the pathetic creature, then back at Dr. Yuri. The man was torturing him, testing values and morality Ezra had never cared to exercise. “If it can’t be cured—”

“What if I told you that this very creature you’re looking at used to be someone
you
knew personally? Maybe someone you loved.”

Ezra’s eyes returned to the monster below him.

“Should it be killed?”

Chapter 13

Inside and Out

Ezra’s relationship with Dr. Yuri changed
forever after that first poorly named counseling session. The man kept pelting Ezra with the same question over and over again, giving it different angles and hoping he wouldn’t notice. Every question was made more frustrating when he denied Ezra answers of his own. Ezra had to know if the last words he said in Subject Edward’s chamber had any truth to them.

What if I told you that this very creature you’re looking at used to be someone you knew personally? Maybe someone you loved.

Was that the case, or was Dr. Yuri only trying him, torturing him psychologically as some kind of cruel test, part of an even crueler training? Maybe his mother’s return to Zenith had something to do with it, but she was not as available as she had promised on the day of her arrival, and every chance Ezra had to be with her, she seemed to deflect questions about Zenith—she said she wanted to forget they were both trapped, and wanted to enjoy those few moments she had with her son.

Who could it be, if it was someone he knew? Ezra had not lost many people close to him, but many friends of the family had to be hospitalized and eventually died because of a sudden and unexplainable laani infection.

The old family housekeeper who sang lullabies to him and his sisters. His father’s estranged father. His sister’s dog. Susan. Alice.

Akiva had said Alice’s body had not been found—maybe the Egg had protected her from that devastating explosion; maybe the contact with the outside after the structure fissured had infected her.