The Arrival (12 page)

“Are you sure you don’t want me to
stay?” Bryce stood at the window. “Because I will.”

“No, that’s okay.” I averted my gaze,
determined not to surrender to the lure of his words. I had to get my head
together before I shot myself up with Dr. Ridus’ vaporizing nanobot cure.
“You’ve been here too long, and your mom’s going to come looking for you.”

He shifted his weight and his shoulders
slumped. “Are you positive?”

“Yes.” I nodded repeatedly. “I can do
this on my own.” Part of me wanted him to stay, but part of me knew he couldn’t
because he would distract me. I had to focus. The situation was hard enough.
The last thing I needed was Bryce trying to change my mind. I wanted those
pesky bots dead.

“What if something happens to you?” He
brushed a stray strand of hair from my face. I glanced up and our eyes locked.
The pain in his heated stare matched the debilitating agony that shattered my
heart the day I left for Nidus. The same crushing pain that devoured my heart
when he broke up with me. The same incessant pain that refused to leave me
alone. But nothing could save our relationship. I think he knew it, too.

“Nothing will happen to me. I’ll be
fine.” I convinced myself, over and over again. But if something did go wrong,
I didn’t want Bryce catching the blame. The last thing I wanted was to involve
him. I had to protect him. Protect him the best way I knew how.

“How will I know you are all right?”

“I can call you after I’m done.”

“You promise?”  He lifted my chin,
drawing my lips closer to his. I inhaled deeply and found comfort in the
addictive fragrance of his aftershave. The smells of citrus mixed with cedar
made every muscle in my body relax, if only for a minute.

“Yes.” I nodded, trying to determine if
that is what I wanted. Before I could decide, his mouth covered mine, leaving
me breathless. I kissed him back with everything I had; in order to show how
much I loved him. How much he meant to me and how much I needed him. Despite
what I knew could never be, I didn’t want to let go.

My body cried for more. Needing more.
Our tongues fused in a divine dance, and I realized that nothing mattered to me
but Bryce. Nothing but staying right there in his arms and relishing every
minute I had with him. I needed to be free with him, if just for one night. I
didn’t care about Nidus, Dimas, the rules, the other girls, or what could
happen to me.

Miranda, you need to stop.

Immediately, I pulled from Bryce. What
the hell was that? Was it my subconscious?

It was that strange voice that
wasn’t
actually a voice
.

It was Dimas.

“Is something wrong?”  Bryce appeared
confused and more than a little hurt.

“I think you need to leave.” I placed my
hand on his chest. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have much time. And Kate’s probably
waiting for me. I need to hurry and inject myself.”

“Okay. I understand.” He turned and
crossed the sill, but he paused and said, “Good luck. I’ll be waiting for your
call.”

I gave him a heartfelt smile and closed
the window after him.

Collapsing onto my bed, I buried my head
in the pillows and thought about the girls at Nidus: Gaby, Jessica, Destiny,
Aliah, and the others. Even the ones that hadn’t been tested. The twelve and
thirteen-year-old girls nearing their fourteenth birthday, like Kate’s little
sister. It made me sick to think about it. I had to make a stand. The girls
were relying on me.

I thought about Mom and my little
brother, Matt. It saddened me knowing how much I scared him. How he burst into
tears when I went into his room tonight to read him a bedtime story. If only I
could hug him and let him know he had nothing to fear, but he wouldn’t let me
near him. After tomorrow, I didn’t know if I’d see either of them again. I had
high hopes, but I had to be realistic about it, too. As long as Mom had Matt, I
knew she’d be okay. Sadly, Dad didn’t weigh heavy on my heart. Forgetting about
Bryce proved to be harder than I thought.

Why is everything so difficult? Why does
it have to be so hard?

It’s not as hard as you think.

There was that voice again.

I lifted my head.

Dimas?

Yes?

I scanned the room, but I didn’t see
him. I hopped off my bed and checked the bathroom, the closet, and even looked
under my bed. What the heck was wrong with me? Why did I keep hearing him? Was
I going crazy?
He must have had a chip inserted in my head, or
maybe the nanobots had something to do with it. Either way, I wanted him out of
my thoughts.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to push
that confusing, mind-numbing trance out of my brain. But the harder I tried,
the more I thought about him. How did I have a connection to him when he was
hundreds of miles away?

My stomach fluttered as I recalled how
he touched nearly every part of my body during the search. The way he swept his
hands up and down my legs, causing me to tremble like a newborn deer. How he
pressed his body against mine. Why did he allow me to take the tracker? Was he
helping me? He couldn’t be. Dimas was the bad guy. The enemy. The snake that
slithered his way into my mind, claiming me as his victim. Or was I simply his?

He was the pinnacle of my torment.

My affliction.

My addiction.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Nothing.

I had to ignore the temptation calling
me. I cleared my mind of the clutter and remembered why I fought the Eslites.
Freedom. I wanted out of Nidus, and I was hell bent on rescuing the girls, too.
Nothing would stop me from sending the Eslites where they belonged. 

Determined to make a difference, I
grabbed my backpack, removed one of the vials, and stared at it for a second.

Freedom. I want freedom.

And you will have it.

Shaking my head, I reached into the bag
and pulled out a short IV needle with a port, a syringe, a rubber strap, a roll
of surgical tape, and an alcohol patch. Using one hand, I tied the strap around
my upper arm and made a tourniquet. I cleaned the area in the crook of my elbow
and wiped the top of the vial, disinfecting the surface before inserting the
needle. As Dr. Ridus instructed, I measured exactly one cc of the serum and set
it on my nightstand.

My hands trembled as fear enveloped me,
paralyzing me to the point that I couldn’t move. My heart rate beat
erratically, and my breath came in a series of pants, as I gasped for air.
Nausea swept over me, and I broke into a cold sweat.

I couldn’t do it.

But I had to do it.

The Eslites would degrade us no longer,
if I could help it.

I closed my eyes and envisioned the
beach, imagining the sun shining on my face, as cool water splashed over my
body, and the relaxing rush of the waves rolling onto the shore and rescinding into
the depths of the sea. It lulled me into a perfectly calm state. And then a
strange but comforting warmth, a surprisingly sweet caress, cradled me.
Cocooned me. An unfailing reassurance played over and over again in my brain.

Go ahead.  It will be okay.

Go ahead.  It will be okay.

What? How the hell did he know what I
was doing? There had to be a camera located somewhere in my room. Otherwise, it
wasn’t possible. He was over five hundred miles away. And then there was his
voice that wasn’t a voice.
Calling that odd communication a
voice was not entirely accurate, because it was more like pure sensation that
translated to meaning in my mind, but that didn’t matter as it gave me courage.
Through a haze of panic, my vision cleared, and I focused on the plastic needle
teetering on the edge of the nightstand. With a deep breath, I grabbed the
syringe and summoned the nerve to self-administer the serum.

I can do this.

Yes, you can.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t alone. Dimas
was with me. He was talking to me, and he could hear me. Inexplicably, our
minds connected, and his voice that wasn’t a voice was crystal clear.

Tingles of excitement spread from my
head to my toes.

Quickly, I moved to the side of my bed
and steadied myself.

I am with you, Miranda. Do not be
scared.

 “Are you really here?” I asked aloud, forgetting
that wasn’t how he connected with me.

Of course, I am.

Was it wishful thinking?  Was I
imagining him, or was he really there? I must have been insane to question
myself for confirmation of something most people would find absurd. Dimas wasn’t
really there. He had to be nothing more than an illusion.

Without hesitation, I held the port to
my forearm and
inserted the needle into my vein. The
second I pierced my skin; I flinched. The sting subsided and a flash of crimson
appeared in the tiny tubing. Gaby had told me to watch for the blood return so
I would know that I was in the vein.

Now I was ready to inject the serum.

With a strip of surgical tape, I secured
the needle firmly in place, released the tourniquet, and picked up the syringe
filled with the serum.

You can do it.

Once again, through our intimate bond,
Dimas encouraged me—compelled me to act. But why? It didn’t make sense. Why was
he helping me? Did he really want me to succeed? Maybe he wanted me dead. No,
he couldn’t possibly want that. My eggs were too precious to him. I gritted my
teeth and started to tell him to leave me alone but stopped when he said:

I will be holding your hand the entire
time. Concentrate, and you will feel me.

In that instant, I inserted the needle
into the port and depressed the syringe.
The serum warmed my
veins as it spread. My heartbeat raced, and I had to focus on remaining calm.
With several deep breaths I willed my body to accept the concoction, as I
removed the needle and laid it next to me. I imagined every nanobot in my blood
dying without any complications.

I am a Mays and Mays are strong leaders.
Our bodies will never show weakness.

Carefully, I peeled off the piece of
tape and positioned a cotton ball over the IV port, then slowly retracted it
from my vein. I placed a bandage over the cotton, leaned forward to set the
needle on my nightstand, and smiled because everything had gone smoothly.

Without warning, a burning sensation
shot up my arm.

Fiery pain seared a path to my chest,
and I dropped the tube to the floor. As I gasped for air, a surge of molten
heat scorched my veins, spreading through my blood.

Doubled over, I cringed in agony until I
fell to my knees and convulsed on the carpet. Building slowly, at first, and
then increasing in intensity, wave upon wave of gut wrenching misery consumed
me.

Clawing at my skin, I tried to put out
the inferno raging beneath my flesh, but the debilitating ache only increased. 
The terrorizing side effects flashed through my entire body like wildfire, and
I jerked and seized beyond my control. I bit my lip as attempts to call for
help died in my throat.

Relentless spasms rocked my belly, again
and again, and tears poured from my eyes but seemed to vanish in the blaze.
Sweat seeped from my pores but vaporized on contact.

My body was on fire.

Ablaze.

My insides twisted and turned, as though
melting. The serum seemed to fry my frame, threating to leave behind nothing
more than a brittle, withered hollow carcass. I had to be dying. Dr. Ridus
didn’t mention anything about flesh-eating, soul-searing pain. Did he?

Oh, God, help me
.
Somebody, please help me.

I tried to call out, but I couldn’t
inhale enough oxygen to manage more than a pitiful whimper.

Only in my mind could I communicate. But
the heat suffocated me, and I wouldn’t be able to think clearly for much
longer. And then I sensed the powerful presence that I’d come to know as Dimas.

Miranda, relax. You are going to be
okay.

What? I’m dying.
Mays are strong leaders. We never—

No, you are not dying. Concentrate. Feel
me.

My room narrowed, and the soft pink hue
from my lampshade transformed into a dark red glow that eventually surrounded
me in blackness. A strange tug of war simmered beneath my flesh, as Dimas
fought to ease my pain. Instinctively, I wrestled him for command of my body but
lost through lack of strength.

I was in hell.

My own private hell.

Miranda, let me help you. Please.

Spasm after spasm, the serum singed and
charred my veins, branding my insides to a black crisp. If the medicine didn’t
kill the nanobots, then surely it would kill me. I wanted it to stop. It had to
stop, and I prayed for relief—but I didn’t need Dimas. He couldn’t help me.