The Art of Friendship (32 page)

‘At the park. And I’m tired.’ He let out a sad little sigh that made Izzy giggle.

Liam ruffled Josh’s hair. ‘Good to see you, pal.’ Then he said to Zoe, ‘You know I won’t be able to take her, Zoe. I have to go to work.’

‘Hello, Izzy,’ said Clare quietly, feeling sorry for her, caught yet again in the middle of one of her parents’ squabbles. Izzy raised her face to Clare, gave her a tentative smile and rolled her eyes.

Zoe let air out through her nose noisily. ‘Well, you can’t expect me to do it, Liam. I have to be over at the shop in Ballymena for nine thirty. I can’t be in two places at once.’

‘Neither can I, Zoe.’

Izzy stood up and they both looked at her as though she could somehow offer a solution to the dilemma. And, surprising them all, she did.

‘Why can’t Clare take me?’ she asked, with a little shrug of her slender shoulders.

There was a long silence. Clare wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Liam looked at the floor.

‘You know you’re not allowed in the car with Clare,’ said Zoe, glaring at her daughter.

‘Remind me why that is again, Mum?’

Zoe simmered. ‘You
know
why. You could’ve been killed.’

‘Anyone can make a mistake. Clare’s a good driver.’

Clare gasped in astonishment. Was Izzy actually standing up for her? She looked at Liam and he too was staring open-mouthed at Izzy. Even Josh, somehow, grasped the enormity of the moment. He slumped to the floor and sat there on his bottom, staring up at Izzy with something approaching awe on his face. Either that or he was just plain exhausted.

Zoe tucked her chin in and took a hard look at her daughter. She seemed, for once, lost for words.

‘Don’t you think it’s time you and Dad,’ said Izzy, with a sharp glance at Liam, ‘gave Clare a break? She said she was sorry. What more do you want?’

Liam, taken by surprise, took a step back suddenly and pushed out his chest.

Zoe, flush-faced, brandished her mobile. Ignoring Izzy and glaring at Liam, she said, ‘I suppose I’ll just have to get on the phone and ring round some of the other mothers – see if one of them can take her. Though why you can’t do that beats me. Why does it always have to be me who sorts these things out?’

Clare thought she had a point. Zoe stabbed buttons on the phone, her bracelets clanging like chimes, and held it to her ear.

‘You two are such hypocrites,’ said Izzy, diving back into the conversation, clearly determined to have her say. ‘Izzy!’ exclaimed Liam.

‘What did you say?’ Zoe removed the phone from her ear.

‘I said you two are such hypocrites. I’ve seen you get in the car after a drink, Mum. On lots of occasions. And you spent the entire time in Cyprus with a drink in your hand. All you wanted to do was lie in the sun and sleep and talk
to Alex. You wouldn’t play tennis or go swimming or do
anything
with me. I’ve never been so bored in my life.’

Zoe might have blushed but her face was too deeply tanned to tell. At any rate her face fell and, for a millisecond, Clare almost felt sorry for her. Then she bit her lip to stop herself from smiling.

‘Izzy, that simply isn’t true,’ protested Zoe.

Izzy ignored her mother. ‘And you’re no better, Dad. Clare makes one little mistake and you won’t let her forget it. What about all the mistakes you’ve made? All the times you’ve let me down? And Clare.’

Liam looked at Izzy in astonishment and said, ‘I really don’t think you should be talking to me like this.’

Sensing she had the upper hand, Izzy ploughed on. ‘You made Clare cry because you’ve been seeing some woman from work. And you’ve been so mean to her lately. If anything made her crash the car, I think it was that.’

Clare felt her face go red. Zoe, glancing over at her, brightened at this news and gave Clare a self-satisfied look that managed to convey, simultaneously, both pity and triumph.

Liam bristled. ‘That is not true, Izzy. I am not seeing anyone.’

‘Well, what about this Gillian? I heard you on the phone to her.’

‘She’s…she’s just a friend, a colleague from work. Nothing more.’

‘Strange way to talk to your friends, if you ask me.’

Liam opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it. Rachel started to grizzle and Zoe shoved her phone in the pocket of her white linen jacket. ‘You’re in charge tomorrow, Liam, not me,’ she snapped. ‘You can sort out a lift for her.’

‘You needn’t bother, Dad. Clare’ll take me. Won’t you, Clare?’

Clare nodded dumbly and held her breath. Having found
the most unlikely ally, she had no idea what would happen next. She realised, in that instant, that everything was at stake. It was a defining moment of her life. Without exaggeration, her future depended on it. If Liam sided with Zoe then their marriage was, in her opinion, over. If, however, he sided with his daughter, there was hope. It was his last chance to prove where his loyalties lay.

The moment seemed to last for ever. Rachel’s whining grew louder but no-one moved. Clare was pinned to the spot. Dust motes danced in the sun streaming through the front door. The tropical smell of after-sun lotion filled the air, and sweat oiled her palms as she clenched her fists, waiting. Everything rode on what Liam said next.

‘That’s perfectly okay with me,’ he said, staring coldly at Zoe, and Clare breathed again. Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked to hold them back.

‘Looks like it’s three against one, Mum,’ said Izzy matter-of-factly, folding her arms again. ‘So you’re outvoted.’

Zoe took a deep breath and said, ‘What you can and cannot do, Izzy, is not decided by popular vote, and especially not one that includes people who are no relation to you.’ She glanced briefly at Clare when she said this.

‘Everyone here is related to me,’ said Izzy stubbornly and Clare wondered how one so young could keep her nerve and her composure. Her self-possession was unnerving. Clare had always thought her a clever girl but she was far more mature than she had ever realised.

Liam cleared his throat. ‘Perhaps Izzy has a point, Zoe. I think you forget that Clare wasn’t convicted of any crime. It was just an accident. Caused by more than one factor, perhaps, but an accident nonetheless.’

He looked at Clare and gave her a small, awkward smile. It wasn’t much but it was a start. Clare’s heart soared.

Zoe looked at Liam, then Izzy and finally back at Clare. Her lips turned up in a sneer and she said to Clare, ‘If you so much as hurt a hair on her head, you’ll…you’ll have me to answer to. You’re nothing but a drunk and a…’

‘That’s enough!’ said Liam. ‘I won’t have you talking to my wife like that, not in my home.’

He stepped forwards and put an arm round Clare’s shoulder. It felt heavy and a little awkward but it felt good too. She put her hand up, found his and held it.

Zoe stood there trembling with rage as the realisation dawned on her that she was defeated. Her domination had come to an end. She glared at Liam. ‘If you let Izzy ride with her, you’ll have to take full responsibility for anything that might happen. I wash my hands of it.’

Rachel let out a loud wail.

‘I’ll get her,’ said Izzy and she bolted past her mother and out the front door. A few seconds later, Rachel’s cries ceased.

‘I think that’s something we can live with, isn’t it, Clare?’ said Liam, and she looked at him in astonishment.

Zoe turned and stomped out of the door, her wooden wedges thwacking each step on the way down. They listened to the sound of her car engine rev, a door slammed, tyres screeched on the tarmac and then she was gone. Josh, hearing Rachel’s giggles from outside, got up and wandered outside.

‘Are you alright?’ asked Liam, removing his arm from Clare’s shoulder.

Clare turned to look at him. Their faces were inches apart. She was shaking but filled with a wondrous sense of release. Zoe no longer had a hold over her any more. She no longer had the power to make her life a misery. ‘I think so. And you?’

Liam filled his cheeks and let out a puff of air. He looked tired. ‘A bit shocked, that’s all. The way Izzy stood up to Zoe was amazing.’

‘Yes, it was. And so were you.’

He put out a tentative hand and touched her cheek. ‘I’m sorry if I made you cry, Clare. I didn’t realise I’d hurt you so much.’

She lowered her eyes, looked at the buttons on his shirt. She took a deep breath. ‘Liam?’

‘Yes?’

‘Are you still, you know, seeing Gillian?’

‘I never was.’

‘You know what I mean.’ She raised her eyes and looked into his. They were intense, fiery.

‘I haven’t spoken to her, on a personal level I mean, since the accident.’ He paused, swallowed and added, ‘The accident gave me quite a shock. It made me realise how precious life is and how easily I could’ve lost you. I realised that the only woman I love is you, Clare.’

‘You didn’t act like it, Liam. You were horrible to me that day,’ said Clare, the memory bringing forth a wave of selfpity.

Liam hung his head. ‘I was angry. I was angry with you for putting Izzy and yourself in danger like that and for hurting Adam.’

Clare let out a little sob. ‘I thought you were going to leave me. I thought you loved Gillian.’

Liam put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. ‘I don’t want Gillian. All I wanted from her was what I couldn’t get from you, Clare. Your time and attention. You were so wrapped up with the exhibition you hardly noticed if I was there or not. No, that’s not fair. You did notice but I felt you saw me only in terms of a carer for the children. Every time I came in, you cleared off to go and paint. I was just lonely. I’m sorry. Do I sound pathetic?’

She nodded. ‘A little bit. But I understand too.’

It would be easy to harbour resentment towards Liam. The recriminations – which she had catalogued and archived relentlessly over the past weeks – sprung to her lips like incantations. His support for her painting had been less than lukewarm. If only he’d worked with her, instead of fighting against her, how much easier that period would have been on everyone. He’d been prepared to parachute out of his marriage at the first sign of trouble and he had not accepted any blame for driving her to distraction and drink that had, ultimately, led to the accident. And until tonight, he had never stood up in her defence against Zoe. She could go on and on.

Now was not the time – she would not jeopardise this fragile peace. She must let these things go, for now at least. She would have to face up to the fact that they might never see eye-to-eye on these issues. What mattered now, most of all, was whether Liam had the desire to work through their problems and save the relationship.

She took a deep breath. ‘Liam, do you think we can make our marriage work again?’

‘I’d like to try.’

‘Me too.’

He gave her a winsome smile and shook his head. ‘You’re a very complicated woman, Clare. Do you know that?’

She smiled uncertainly, not sure if this was a compliment or a criticism.

‘It makes you very hard to live with,’ he went on. She opened her mouth to retort but he silenced her with, ‘But it also makes you absolutely irresistible.’

She smiled, flattered, but only briefly. Her heart was full of anxiety. ‘You do realise that we’re going to have to work at it? Both of us.’

‘Sure,’ said Liam, his voice smooth like melted chocolate.
He put his arms out to pull her to him. It would be so easy to fall into them and make up, and never address what had got them to this impasse. And that would be a mistake, for unless the fundamental issues were addressed, nothing would change in the long term.

She placed the flat of her hand on his chest. ‘I’m serious, Liam. There’s no point in picking up where we left off without addressing the things that caused our problems in the first place.’

He nodded. ‘I’m sure we can talk things through. Things will soon be back to the way they were.’

‘I don’t want to go back to the way they were,’ she blurted out. ‘I want it to be…better. I’d like for us to go to marriage counselling. Together.’

‘Counselling?’ he echoed. ‘Do you really think that’s necessary?’

‘I do. There’s lots of stuff we need to sort out.’ Liam frowned. ‘I thought that’s what we’re doing?’ ‘We are. But this is just the start. We need to decide how we’re going to change things going forward.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like how we run two careers without family life, and our relationship, suffering. We need to manage Zoe better in the future so that she doesn’t come between us. And stop Izzy manipulating both of us.’ Liam raised his eyebrows.

‘She does, you know,’ persisted Clare, afraid that this might happen. Afraid that he would not take her concerns seriously. ‘We both have to acknowledge where we’ve gone…’

‘Wow!’ said Liam and he put up a hand. ‘Okay, I get the picture.’

Clare put a hand on her heart – it pounded against her chest. ‘So will you go to counselling?’

He stared at her for some moments. ‘Alright. If you want me to.’

‘I don’t want you to do it just to please me. I want
you
to want to.’

Liam suppressed a smile. ‘Okay,’ he said slowly and deliberately. ‘I want to go to counselling, Clare. Happy?’ He ducked his head and looked at her from under raised eyebrows.

She nodded and smiled. Her heartbeat slowed. There was real hope for them after all.

‘Now,’ he said, holding out his arms. ‘Can I please have that hug?’

‘There’s nothing I would like more,’ she said. And though her eyes filled with tears, she was smiling and her heart was full of gladness.

Later, when Liam was putting the children to bed and Izzy was downstairs watching a rerun of
Hollyoaks,
Clare sat down beside her on the sofa. ‘Mind if I talk to you a moment?’ she said after they had sat in silence for a few moments.

‘Sure,’ said Izzy, without taking her eyes off the TV.

‘Do you mind turning the volume down just for a minute?’

Izzy found the control and muted the sound. She waited for Clare to speak, twisting a lock of sun-bleached hair round the forefinger of her right hand. She glanced at Clare then looked back at the screen. ‘What?’ she said.

‘Izzy, can I ask you what happened earlier?’