The Art of Killing Well (19 page)

“Signorina Cecilia …”

“Signor Artusi …” said Cecilia, and then she paused. “Signor Artusi …”

“Go on, signorina.”

“I want to thank you for what you did for Agatina. It was very noble of you.”

“Thanks to you, signorina. Perhaps I shouldn't say this, but it was precisely your forays into the guests' luggage that provided me
with the necessary information to persuade Signor Ciceri to relent.”

“Really? Well, I'm glad. At least I've been of some use, haven't I?”

“Don't say that, signorina. You can be useful to many people.”

“Do you think so?”

The silence lasted a few seconds. Then all at once Cecilia said, “Dottore Bertini told me I have a real talent for medicine.”

And she blushed as she said this, as if ashamed to admit that the baron's departure might have dragged her out of her lethargy and had perhaps opened the doors to a genuine life.

“I agree. You're attentive, curious and methodical. If you also have a good memory, it's the perfect field for you.”

Cecilia looked at him. “I have an excellent memory. And I'm about to demonstrate it.”

“Really?”

“Really. You never answered my question, so I am obliged to ask it again. What exactly are
tommasei
?”

In the distance a cloud of dust appeared. The trap that would take Artusi to the staging post was coming. He smiled and turned.

“Alright, signorina. In Florence at the beginning of the century there was a famous literary club, founded by Vieusseux, who was from Geneva. This club numbered among its members the finest minds of our literature, including Niccolò Tommaseo, to whom we owe our basic dictionary of synonyms. Tommaseo, though, was not unanimously considered a man of great intellect, and among his fiercest detractors was the greatest poet of our century, Giacomo Leopardi.”

Artusi smoothed his whiskers and continued.

“If you will allow me, signorina, I must use scurrilous language. As you may know, popularly, to insult someone and make it clear to those listening that he is not a very clever person, we say that that particular individual is breaking a very specific part of our body, a part which is essential for our reproduction, and which is usually only referred to in the plural, since nature” – here he cleared his throat – “supplies us not with one but a pair.”

Artusi smiled.

“That is how a coarse, uncultivated man puts it. But Leopardi was a man of genius, and a poet. And that is why he often mocked his target metaphorically, referring to these delicate parts of the body by the name
tommasei
.”

Cecilia started laughing.

And as she laughed, she felt like crying. But she stopped herself.

“Come and see me in Florence, signorina. You will be a very welcome guest.”

“Without fail, Signor Artusi.”

Florence, Saturday, 1 July, 1895

At last, after many attempts, I managed to make the pie I tasted during my strange visit to the castle of Roccapendente. I realised, after a few failures, that it is essential to add the ingredients in the right order, one at a time, and let each one cook as long as necessary, since each of the components of this pie demands time to acquire the right texture and the right taste
.

It is also essential to use only the finest ingredients, but that is something that everyone who cooks knows: peppers do not exist as a platonic, unchangeable category, every pepper is different. But if we find a merchant we can trust, keep our eyes open, do not throw away the parts that have gone rotten but cut them off with a small knife, we can do a lot for very little
.

But enough of this chatter, I sound like an old fool. I here transcribe the recipe, although I have decided I will make it only for myself and my guests, and will not include it in my book; I love to tell stories connected with each dish, and in this case there are so many I could tell, they would require a book by themselves
.

2 yellow peppers; 3 spoonfuls of oil; 3 sticks of celery, 25 centimetres in length; 300 grams of bread from the day before; 2 decilitres of milk; 500 grams of tuna in oil; 100 grams of black olives; a few leaves of parsley; 2 eggs; 0.5 decilitres of the finest cream; 20 grams of butter; 40 grams of breadcrumbs

The dish would gain from the use of red olives.

Peel the peppers over a flame, rub them in straw paper, remove the seeds and cut them into small pieces. In a large pan, brown the celery, thinly sliced, and when it has turned brown add the pepper and cook for as long as it would take to greet a beautiful lady.

Meanwhile, put the bread to soak in the milk after bringing it to the boil.

Then add the tuna, after crumbling it with a fork, and let it sink in. Stirring constantly, add the stoned olives, the softened and kneaded bread, parsley, salt and pepper. Then let it cool.

Put the mixture in a bowl, soak the eggs in it, and wash it well with your hands; then thicken it with the cream.

Grease an aluminium dish and sprinkle it with half the breadcrumbs; then pour in the mixture, cover the surface with the rest of the breadcrumbs and cook it in the oven.

This should be enough for four people; even more, if they are satisfied with it.

Deep-fried artichokes

This is such a simple dish that it seems hard to believe there are people who don't know how to make it. In some areas they boil the artichokes before frying them; this is wrong. Elsewhere they dip the artichokes in batter; quite apart from being superfluous, this masks the flavour of the vegetable. I prefer the method they use in Tuscany. Given that the Tuscans eat huge – even excessive – quantities of vegetables, they're better at cooking them than anyone else.

Take two artichokes, discard the tough outer leaves, trim the tips, remove the stems, and cut them in half. Even if the artichokes are not particularly large, cut each half into 4 or 5 wedges, giving you 8 to 10 pieces per artichoke. Refresh the pieces for a while in cold water (adding lemon juice will prevent the artichokes from discolouring). Then drain, but not too thoroughly, and immediately dip into the flour so it sticks to the artichoke pieces. Lightly beat the white of one egg, stir in the yolk, and salt the mixture. Shake any excess flour from the artichoke pieces, then dip them in the egg mixture and leave to sit briefly. Heat the oil, then add the artichoke pieces one by one to the pan. Remove when browned and serve with lemon wedges – as everyone knows, any deep-fried savoury dish is enhanced by a squeeze of lemon, and it brings on one's thirst.

Maccheroni with sardines, Sicilian style

For this recipe I am indebted to a spirited widow whose Sicilian husband loved to cook the dishes of his native land.

Remove the heads and tails from the sardines, cut in half lengthways and fillet. Then flour the sardine halves and fry them. Salt well and put to one side.

Boil the fennel, then drain and chop finely.

Cook the pasta, drain and put to one side.

Clean and fillet the anchovies, then fry them in plenty of olive oil, breaking them up with a wooden spoon. Add the fennel, lightly season with salt and pepper, stir in the tomato sauce or purée diluted with water, and simmer for 10 minutes. In a heatproof dish mix the pasta, sardines and sauce, allow to brown in an oven and serve hot. Serves six or seven.

Hunter's chicken

Chop a large onion and soak in cold water for at least half an hour, then drain and fry in oil or lard. Put to one side when cooked. Joint a chicken, brown the pieces in the remaining fat, then return the fried onion to the pan. Season with salt and pepper, add a glass of Sangiovese or other good-quality red wine and the same quantity of tomato sauce. Simmer until the chicken is cooked through.

Warning: this dish is not suitable for weak stomachs.

Roast wild boar

First prepare the following marinade: bring 750ml of water and 125ml vinegar to the boil, add 3 or 4 finely chopped shallots, a couple of bay leaves, some parsley, and simmer for about 5 minutes, adding salt and pepper. When the marinade has cooled, pour over the boar and refrigerate.

Line the bottom of an ovenproof dish with 3 or 4 paper-thin slices of lardo (if you can find it) or pancetta. Pat the boar dry, season with salt and pepper, and put in the dish with a whole peeled onion, a bouquet garni, a knob of butter and, for a joint of about one kilogram in weight, 125ml of dry white wine. Cover the meat with more slices of lardo or pancetta, butter a sheet of baking paper and place on top of the joint. Put in a 180°C oven and roast the meat until tender, basting it occasionally with the cooking liquid to prevent it from drying out. Strain the liquid, spoon off as much fat as possible, and pour over the meat prior to serving.

Pigeon surprise

This isn't much of a surprise, but it's a wonderful dish.

If you only have one pigeon to put on the spit and you want it to serve more than one person, you can stuff it with an appropriately sized veal steak. Pound the veal to tenderise it, season with salt, pepper and a pinch of mixed spices and dot it with a few small pieces of butter. Roll it up, place inside the bird and sew the cavity shut. Adding sliced truffles to the seasoning will make the end dish even better. You can also fry the pigeon's gizzard and liver separately in butter, pound them in a mortar and spread the resulting paste
over the steak. This allows the flavours of the two types of meat to combine, improving the overall taste.

Red mullet with prosciutto

The saying “as mute as a fish” does not always ring true. On the contrary, red mullet, like the
ombrina
and a number of other fish, produce sounds when contracting the muscles that regulate the passage of air in their swim bladders.

The largest and tastiest mullet are caught off reefs. However, the medium-sized mullet that the people living on the Adriatic coast call
rossioli
or
barboni
will suffice for this recipe. Wash and clean 4 mullet, pat dry and lay in a shallow ovenproof dish, adding salt, pepper, 2 tablespoons of olive oil and 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Let the fish sit in this marinade for several hours, turning them occasionally. Take 4 slices of prosciutto and trim them to the size of the mullet. Arrange a few sage leaves on the bottom of the dish, dip the mullet in breadcrumbs and put them in the dish, belly-down, sandwiching the slices of prosciutto between them. Sprinkle with a few more leaves of chopped sage, pour over the marinade and bake the fish, covered, in an oven preheated to 200°C.

To make the dish more elegant, before marinating remove the backbones by slitting open the bellies, opening up the fish and pressing them flat. Then close again.

Mont Blanc salt cod

How strange culinary terminology is! Why is this dish called “white mountain” rather than “yellow mountain”, which is what it in fact looks like? And how did the French, with a giddying leap of the imagination, arrive with their name for this:
brandade de morue
?
Brandade
apparantly comes from
brander
: “to move, excite, brandish a sword, pike, lance, or similar weapon”. Well, we don't use any weapons here, merely a simple wooden spoon. You have to admit that the French are highly inventive!

Still, this recipe warrants serious consideration, as salt cod prepared in this way is transformed from a basic ingredient into a dish refined enough for a banquet, either as a starter or a savoury.

Remove all skin and bones from the salt cod, then grind in a mortar and put with the cream in a pan over a low heat, stirring constantly. When all the cream has been absorbed, add the oil drop by drop, as if you were making mayonnaise and keep stirring with your “weapon” – wooden spoon – to prevent the mixture from curdling. Take off the heat and allow to cool. Serve cold with thin slices of truffle, slices of toast, or caviar crostini. If you've prepared this dish correctly, the oil will not separate from the mixture.

Serves eight.

Beans cooked like little birds

In the
trattorie
of Florence, beans cooked in this way are also called
uccelletto
style.

Boil half a kilogram of freshly shelled white beans and drain. Place several sage leaves in a pan, cover with 100ml of olive oil and heat. When the sage leaves start to blister, add the beans and season with salt and pepper. Cook until the oil has been absorbed, stirring occasionally, then add 100ml tomato sauce. When the sauce has been absorbed, the beans are ready to serve. Dried beans can also be prepared in this way after they have been boiled.

These beans can be eaten on their own or are an excellent accompaniment to boiled meat or sausages.